where the seas stay the same [2/2]

[kei17]

"Can I come in?" Junmyeon calls out after he knocks on the newly installed door to the master's bedroom.

"Yeah," Baekhyun answers from inside. He's standing in the middle of the room, just by the foot of the bed three workers brought up earlier. Baekhyun studies the mural critically from this distance. It's finished and it was a little different from the original one but it still came out more beautiful than he expected.

The painting's the exact view outside the tall windows when the sun just about decides to rest; a white sand beach and azure skies above vast, shimmering water; a lighthouse quiet in its solitude.

"It's done?" Junmyeon asks. He walks further into the room and sees the mural for himself. "Woah. That's amazing."

Baekhyun grins. "Thank you. I'm just glad I finished on time."

The assistant gives him a pat on the back. "You really did a good job, especially after what happened."

"Well, I guess this is it?" Baekhyun holds out his hand for a handshake. "It's been nice working with you."

"Technically, you didn't even let me in here so I'm not sure we actually did work together," Junmyeon jokes but still he accepts the handshake. "But it's not the end yet. We've set up a grill downstairs and there's beer, too, as thanks for everyone's hard work."

"I don't think I can."

"Are you sure?" The assistant looks at him with a now familiar slump of his shoulders that Baekhyun thinks is part of the Kim Junmyeon Persuasive Tactics.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "I'm sure I've seen that before."

Junmyeon grins sheepishly. "Come on, Baekhyun. For the last time?"

The painter relents. After all, yes, it's his last day here and he has yet to thank Chanyeol for his help. Baekhyun knows he had acted childishly for the most part so it's his chance to apologize as well.

They arrive downstairs and the gathering of around a dozen men is already in full swing. The mouth-watering smell of grilled meat fills the air. Cans of beer are passed on and the sound of laughter livens up the atmosphere.

Baekhyun tries to locate that head of reddish hair but Chanyeol is nowhere to be found. "Junmyeon-ssi, where is Mr. Park?" he asks the other man as casually as possible.

"Mr. Park? Hmmm. He was just here earlier. Maybe he's out on the beach? He always goes there these days." Junmyeon offers him a plate of food but Baekhyun figures he should talk to Chanyeol first so he declines and excuses himself. He walks towards the wooden pathway with determined strides and goes down the steps when he reaches the end.

He sees Chanyeol soon enough-alone, sitting with his knees drawn to his chest and his back facing the house. There's a crushed can of beer beside him and half-full one in his hand.

Baekhyun hesitates a bit, reluctant to disturb Chanyeol’s peace. The strong breeze plays with his hair and Baekhyun controls the urge to run his own hands through them.

Mr. Park? Chanyeol? Yeol?

He's not certain what he should call him now. He's not his boss and not his lover. They're not even friends anymore. He admits he chickens out and settles for clearing his throat in the hopes Chanyeol would hear it against the roaring waves.

Pathetic, Byun Baekhyun. Simply pathetic.

But the other man does hear him because Chanyeol turns his head towards Baekhyun and glances up. Their eyes meet for a few seconds before Chanyeol eventually looks away. He tips his head back as he takes a swig of his drink. Chanyeol doesn't say anything and Baekhyun thinks the taller guy doesn't want him there intruding so he resolves to speak his piece and leave immediately.

"I want to thank you-for the job and for helping me out," Baekhyun begins, growing more anxious by the second. "I know I've not been, how do I say this, my attitude probably has been, I've been..."

"You were a brat."

Although, Baekhyun takes offense at being called a brat he lets it go when he sees Chanyeol's lips curve into a small smile. His ex-boyfriend still isn't looking at him but he visibly relaxes. Baekhyun doesn't know what else to say so he stands there, unsure of whether he should just leave or wait for Chanyeol to say something.

"Stay with me," Chanyeol says in a low voice that Baekhyun's sure he heard him wrong. Chanyeol's eyes are now on him and Baekhyun's drawn helplessly to their dark depths. "Stay with me."

Baekhyun almost drops the beer he's holding. Stay with him? What does he mean? He wants Baekhyun to stay with him? Chanyeol wants him back?

"Don't look so scared," Chanyeol tells him. "I was just asking you to sit with me for a little while."

Baekhyun wants to laugh at his ridiculous assumptions. At the same time he wants to bury his face in his hands, terrified because a crazy part of him had wanted to say yes-yes to anything Chanyeol can offer-and that depresses the hell out of him. He's supposed to forget.

But he does sit down beside him at a safe distance, keeping him beyond arm's reach. Baekhyun hugs his knees to his chest, too and looks out into the sea. They share a companionable silence broken only by the sound of the waves rushing into the shore.

Moments later, Baekhyun feels Chanyeol eyes on him. "So your own gallery, huh?"

"Yeah," he replies.

"Where?"

"At Chuncheon." Baekhyun sees Chanyeol's expression and he gets defensive. "Why? The capital's not good enough for you? Am I not reaching far again? Are you going to tell me I'll rot here if I don't?" he ends bitterly.

"No!" Chanyeol faces him and stares at him hard. "I was thinking if I were to ask to come to the opening would you let me."

Baekhyun grips the beer can tight between his hands, looking away and berating himself for being stupid and ridiculous.

"Baek, will you?"

He glances back at Chanyeol and the other guy's suddenly closer, kneeling beside him. Baekhyun can't answer. Will he? But he's supposed to bury the past and get over Park Chanyeol. The man has no place in Baekhyun's future.

Chanyeol searches into Baekhyun's eyes. The seconds lengthen into minutes but Baekhyun still can't answer. The sky has darkened into deep purple and he almost misses the look of resignation that passed by Chanyeol's face. But Baekhyun does see it and he can feel new cracks form in his heart.

"It's okay." The taller guy reaches out and softly pushes Baekhyun's fringe away from his forehead then he lets out a short, hollow laugh. "I just didn't think saying goodbye a second time would still be this hard."

Baekhyun's chest aches at the sound. For that one second Chanyeol sounded as heartbroken as he is.

"Uh, boss?"

They both whip their heads over their shoulders to see Junmyeon standing not too far away from them. There's some confusion in his gaze but the assistant proceeds to grin.

"Most of the guys have finished eating and are on their way home. The ones left are doing clean up. Oh, Baekhyun, were you able to eat?"

Baekhyun stands up and smiles at him. "Thanks, I'm okay with this," he answers while holding up his beer can.

"Okay. So boss, I closed down everything except the front door and I already turned on the alarm system. Should we be on our way too?"

"You all go on home. I need to pack my things first. I'll see you at the hotel," Chanyeol replies.

"Sure thing. Okay, then. I'll just see you later, boss." Junmyeon gives them a wave goodbye. "And Baekhyun, it was nice meeting you. Hope to work with you again. That mural is really amazing."

"Thank you, Junmyeon." Baekhyun waves back.

Chanyeol's assistant leaves and Baekhyun thinks it's past time he does, too. "I'll be going, I guess. Thanks again, Chanyeol."

The younger guy stands and brushes the sand from his jeans. "Before you do, can you show me your painting?"

Chanyeol looks so hopeful that he can't find it in him to say no. They walk back to the beach house quietly, side by side, close but never touching. Baekhyun unconsciously savors the seconds left beside Chanyeol. They've loved each for so long that at one point he didn't know how he can live without him so try as he might; he can't easily discount the relationship they had.

There is no one left at the house except for the two workers who bid their goodbyes when they saw Chanyeol. Baekhyun proceeds up the stairs first, followed by the taller man. Chanyeol hasn't been in the room since he finished with the lighthouse so Baekhyun's a little nervous of what the developer's opinion will be. He opens the door to the room and moves aside to let the other man in. Baekhyun turns on the switches of the lights lining the ceiling and the one above the mural, bathing the room in soft white light.

Chanyeol starts with one end of the wall, studying the seascape in detail, hands clasped behind him. Baekhyun follows him with his eyes, absently studying him as well-how his hair compliments his fair skin, how his legs are more muscular but is still adorably bowlegged and how his large ears stick out in an odd angle.

Baekhyun gets pulled from his thoughts when Chanyeol speaks. "The lighthouse."

The shorter male walks over to where Chanyeol is, brow raised questioningly. "What about it?"

Chanyeol shrugs. "It's perfect. It's obvious you had to paint over what I did to make it as such. I probably wasn't that much of a help was I?" he asks with a self-deprecating laugh.

It's a weakness of his, Chanyeol's laugh. Baekhyun can't resist the teasing glint in the other's eyes, either. "Yeah, I had to redo it whenever you weren't looking," he jokes back.

"That's impossible," Chanyeol says hoarsely, suddenly serious. "I always look at you." He lifts his hand and gently cups the side of Baekhyun's face. "I only look at you."

He knows he should get away. Baekhyun knows it just as he knows that if he doesn't, he'll do something he'll regret. But he can't seem to move. He watches helplessly as Chanyeol leans closer and his traitorous heart tells him, Just once. Just this one last time.

He closes his eyes in surrender and meets Chanyeol's lips halfway.

The moment their mouths touch, Baekhyun feels sparks exploding in his body. Chanyeol's lips softly molds to his, exploring every corner with his fuller ones. The taller male's free hand finds his spine and draws him closer until their bodies are flushed against each other. But as it was every time they touch, it's not enough.

Baekhyun clings to Chanyeol, weak, enchanted, stupid-and more than a little bit in love. With that scary realization, Baekhyun tries to pull back except Chanyeol's lips are insistent, rushing forward with his every small retreat until the older man's back is against the wall and there's nowhere else to go. Chanyeol's mouth moves seductively against his over and over and over again until Baekhyun's not sure if he even wants to escape anymore.

He can't do this. He can't.

Yet even as the kiss broke down into breathless pants, Baekhyun doesn't ease his arms from around Chanyeol's neck. They're looking deep into each other's eyes, finding the same desperate longing reflected in the dark orbs. It seems like an eternity before Chanyeol closes the small distance between their lips again. This time his mouth traces hotly across Baekhyun's thin ones, urging them to open for him. The instant they do, Chanyeol crushes their parted lips together and slips his tongue inside Baekhyun's, staking claim to what once was his.

Both out of breath, the younger's lips releases Baekhyun's reluctantly but doesn't stop from planting a million tiny kisses across his face and down his long, slender neck, making Baekhyun's fingers tighten in Chanyeol's short hair. He feels large hands unbutton his cotton shirt while Chanyeol's lips kiss every patch of skin slowly being exposed. Chanyeol doesn't stop until all the buttons are undone and he's kneeling in front of Baekhyun, tongue dipping deliciously into his navel. Baekhyun throws his head back and moans from the turbulent sensations currently attacking his body.

Chanyeol rests his cheek against Baekhyun's lower abdomen, close to the evidence of his arousal, in a pose of utter adoration. Baekhyun places his palm against Chanyeol's face and tilts it up to look at him. There are no words exchanged but the younger was able to understand what he wants. What they both want.

Chanyeol stands and captures Baekhyun's mouth in another demanding kiss, wrapping his arms around him. His hands travel lower until they are cupping Baekhyun's rounded bottom and then he pulls him in, lifting him up until Baekhyun can wrap his legs around Chanyeol's waist. He steps away from the wall, carrying Baekhyun into his temporary room just across the hall, their lips still connected fiercely.

The taller man stops only when they reach the bed. He lays Baekhyun on his back gently, hovering closely over his small frame. "You're so beautiful," he whispers reverently. Baekhyun's body feels flushed with need and he stares up at Chanyeol with eyes heavy with want. "How are you real?"

Baekhyun knows he isn't beautiful but whenever Chanyeol tells it to him, he says it with so much sincerity that he makes him believe that at least he indeed was beautiful when he's in Chanyeol's arms.

Chanyeol brushes his knuckles softly against his cheekbones and then he lets his long fingers relearn the shape of Baekhyun's lips, touching his swollen lower lip lightly. He braces his arms beside Baekhyun's shoulders and leans down to get another kiss, this one, so slow and sweet that it brings tears to Baekhyun's eyes. He has missed this so much.

Chanyeol continues his sensual assault, kissing Baekhyun's chin, his jaw, his collarbones. He does it in a way that has Baekhyun squirming to get closer. Chanyeol spreads the unbuttoned shirt open until Baekhyun's upper body is bared to his hungry gaze. He kneels in between Baekhyun's thighs, and begins to weave his spell again. "Beautiful. So beautiful," he murmurs against Baekhyun's milky skin.

"Chanyeol," the name ends with a whimper when Chanyeol bends his head and kisses Baekhyun's nipple. The smaller male arches his back in pleasure when he draws the rosy bud into his mouth. Chanyeol pays the other the same careful attention and it has Baekhyun arching even higher, body straining to be closer to Chanyeol's mouth.

He's going insane soon, Baekhyun thinks as his ex-boyfriend lips and hands perform all sorts of magic on him. Baekhyun lifts his hand and curves it around Chanyeol's nape, urging him to lift his head for another kiss. He has to feel it, too. He has to let Chanyeol feel the same pleasure so they can go mad together.

"Too many clothes," Baekhyun says, dragging his mouth across Chanyeol's jaw.

They share another devouring kiss then Chanyeol gets up and takes off his clothes, wanting there to be no more barriers between them. He returns to the bed to slide Baekhyun's jeans and boxers down his legs, leaving him only in his unbuttoned shirt. Somehow, this makes Baekhyun feel more naked than when he has no clothes at all.

Chanyeol shifts closer and holds onto the underside of Baekhyun's supple thighs, parting them further, hands sliding up and down and caressing sensitive skin. Baekhyun's breath hitches. There’s so much heat spreading like wildfire through his limbs; cotton shirt sticking to his sweat slickened body; his insides melting when Chanyeol leans down to suck a bruise on his inner thigh. Baekhyun thrashes on the bed, crying out when Chanyeol suddenly takes him into his mouth.

There's little technique but Baekhyun thinks Chanyeol can still drive him crazy. Chanyeol pushes him ever so closer to the edge with his tongue and lips but just as he's about to topple off, the other man pulls away, leaving him almost sobbing with frustration. Baekhyun scrapes up energy to looks down at his ex-boyfriend with lust-glazed eyes, chest heaving with the effort to hold back.

Chanyeol places his palm flat on Baekhyun's stomach. "Tell me you don't want it. Tell me to stop."

Chanyeol's giving him a chance to change his mind. But it's too late, he's too far gone. He wants to have this once again, if just for this time before he leaves in the morning and forgets about Park Chanyeol for real. One more chance to feel the love he lost five years ago. Baekhyun reaches up and draws Chanyeol on top of him. "Don't stop."

The younger guy’s eyes glitter with satisfaction and soon he has Baekhyun tangled into knots again. He gets up and disappears into the bathroom only to return just a few seconds later with lube and protection. Chanyeol crawls into the v of Baekhyun's legs and sits on his hunches, not fully aware of just how his naked body has Baekhyun twisted in arousal.

Although the surprise pierces through the haze Baekhyun's brain is currently in, when he sees the tube in Chanyeol's hand. "You carry that around?" he asks faintly. He doesn't know if he's relieved that Chanyeol's prepared or irrationally jealous at the thought of him being with others.

Chanyeol caresses Baekhyun's arm comfortingly, though he can't quite keep the quiver from his deep voice. "I had this just in case this will happen." He shakes his head and laughs at himself. "No, I never dared to hope that this will happen."

Baekhyun wants to ask him what he's talking about but Chanyeol's already circling his entrance with a slick finger, effectively distracting Baekhyun. He's ever so careful not to hurt him, sliding in the second digit only when the older man relaxes with the first one.

"Yeol, hurry," Baekhyun whispers urgently, fingers digging into the other's forearm from the intense pleasure already coursing through him. Chanyeol takes the cue and slips his fingers out, hastily covering his length with protection and lubricant.

He is poised at Baekhyun's entrance but pauses to lean down and look Baekhyun in the eye. "Baekhyun."

It's silly that his name on Chanyeol's lips is enough to make Baekhyun want him.

Chanyeol enters him in one quick thrust, placing his head on the crook of Baekhyun's neck, drunk with the sensation of being inside him again. Chanyeol pulls out and quickly slides back in, harder, deeper, driving away the emptiness that has been Baekhyun's constant companion in the years they were apart.

Baekhyun holds on tight and cants his naked hips up eagerly to receive Chanyeol's quickening thrusts. He knows the happiness that's surging through him is temporary. Tomorrow there are new memories he has to learn to forget. But for now... for now he'll love Chanyeol with everything he's got.

The taller male straightens up, and holds Baekhyun by the waist. After a few more powerful thrusts, he stops, panting. Chanyeol then unexpectedly rolls them over and Baekhyun ends up straddling the younger's narrow hips. The new position drives Chanyeol's length deeper into his heat, hitting that special spot inside that has Baekhyun crying out in ecstasy.

Chanyeol reaches up to cup the sides of his face, holding it like he was something precious and Baekhyun feels that burn in his eyes again. The large hands slide to his neck, then lower, pushing Baekhyun's shirt completely off his shoulders. Baekhyun looks down at the man beneath him, at Chanyeol's big beautiful eyes that are now glassy with desire and his lips that are quietly calling out to him. "Baekhyun," Chanyeol gasps out in supplication.

Now, it's Baekhyun's turn to cover Chanyeol's body with marks of his own, and when the tension was too much to bear, he finally begins to roll his hips, continuing the tempting rhythm Chanyeol has started. Baekhyun moves up and down Chanyeol's length, repeatedly, endlessly. Faster and faster. Slowing down to tease and then picking up speed until they're both crazed with the need for release. Chanyeol's name spills from his lips as the taller male circles his arousal and pumps it in time with the quick movement of their hips.

"Baek," Chanyeol groans, hair plastered against his forehead, short of breath and looking as wrecked as Baekhyun does. He draws Baekhyun into another searing kiss. He wants him so bad. "Stay with me."

Baekhyun shouts as an intense orgasm catches his body in its grip. His inner muscles clamp on Chanyeol's length, pushing Chanyeol to his own climax, body arching, wanting to be deep as possible inside Baekhyun when he comes.

Baekhyun slumps down weakly on top of Chanyeol, coming slowly down from his high, exhausted and sated. He closes his eyes tightly when he feels Chanyeol's hands caressing his back, and he hears his thundering heartbeat.

You fool, he cries quietly. You knew this would happen.

He doesn't want to let go.

"Chanyeol, what are these?" Baekhyun asks in confusion as he held up two tickets to Seoul.

They're standing by the gates of Baekhyun's house, coming home from a dinner date. They've been a little cold to each other lately and they rarely talk because when they do they just end up arguing about their plans after graduation. But tonight's different. It's their fourth anniversary as a couple and Baekhyun set aside whatever hurt feelings he has so they could celebrate.

Dinner was in a small restaurant ten minutes outside of town. It wasn't as extravagant as Baekhyun would've liked but given their very limited allowance it was still very nice. The place was quaint but the food was delicious and the atmosphere, comfortable. They got to relax and share some laughs in between bites of seafood pasta. Chanyeol held Baekhyun's hand on the way home and Baekhyun thought that things were looking up for them. He thought perhaps Chanyeol had already forgotten his outrageous plans.

Except it was proven otherwise when after a pleasant kiss on the lips, Chanyeol handed him an envelope containing the tickets.

"Isn't it obvious, Baek? Our tickets to Seoul," Chanyeol answers excitedly. "I just thought it's a great gift for our anniversary. We still have a month or so to prepare of course, but isn't it great?"

Baekhyun sighs in disappointment. They were having an amazing night and Chanyeol just had to bring this up. "I thought we've talked about this."

The smile Chanyeol's sporting wanes a bit. "We've tried to talk about it, Baek, but we never finish because you always, well, you kind of shut me out.”

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" Baekhyun leans in and kisses Chanyeol's cheek. "Please?"

"See what you're doing?" The younger steps back and frowns. "No, let's talk about this now. Why won't you say yes?"

"It's because I told you, I don't want to go. I don't want to leave. Can't you understand that?" he asks with growing frustration.

"But Baek, it's where all the opportunities are!" Chanyeol replies, not understanding at all. "What are we going to do here after graduation? You'd paint and I'll do what? Fish?"

Baekhyun wraps his arms around himself. "No, Chanyeol. You can do lots of things here. There are good jobs in the capital as well."

"Like what?" Chanyeol runs his hands through his hair in agitation. "I want to go, Baekhyun. There's-I received a letter last week and I got an entry position in a real estate company and-"

"You did?" Baekhyun asks, reeling. He lets out a short empty laugh. "So all this time... you already have everything planned. What's the use of even talking?"

Chanyeol holds onto his arm. "I want you with me, Baek. You can paint there. We'll have everything there."

The smaller male's shoulder slumps and he looks pleadingly at his boyfriend. "We have everything here, too. I have you and you have me. Isn't this enough? Am I not enough to make you happy? Don't you love me enough to stay?"

The younger guy lets go. "Don't you love me enough to go with me?" he counters.

Baekhyun shakes his head and opens the gate. He's so tired.

He doesn't expect what his boyfriend says next.

"You're so selfish. I don't ask a lot from you. Why can't you give this to me?" Chanyeol says bitterly.

"I'm selfish?" The older boy faces the other man, eyes bright with heartbreak. It hurts. "I already gave you all of me. You want me to throw away what I have to go along with you while you chase your blind ambition!"

Baekhyun watches, heart sinking, as Chanyeol's face turns impassive-no trace of the caring boy who confessed to him in the lamest way possible and made up for it every day since then. He wants to say he doesn't mean it. He just wants to be with him.

"At least I have one," Chanyeol retaliates and Baekhyun thinks it's too late. "The problem with you is that you don't have ambition. If you want to rot here then go ahead but don't expect me to stay."

You promised me forever, he cries as he watches Chanyeol's retreating back, dying little by little with his every step away from him. Liar.

The water wasn't able to wash away the memories of last night.

Baekhyun can still feel where Chanyeol's hands had touched him and where his lips had made their claim on his skin. He knows the marks will fade soon but he also knows the memories will be there for far longer.

He's certain he acted like a first class asshole, leaving without a word the moment he woke up. It's just when he opened his eyes and saw Chanyeol's sleeping face close to his, his arms wound protectively around him, Baekhyun hadn't wanted to ever get up. And that's the first sign he should go. He can't do it. He can't love Chanyeol again.

"Baekhyun," his mother calls out from outside his bedroom door. "Are you done with your bath?"

Baekhyun walks to the door and opens it. Mrs. Byun beams up at him. She's home for the weekend to check up on Baekhyun. His mother is a tiny woman and she barely reaches Baekhyun's chin but she's strong and sturdy, taking good care of Baekhyun even after his father left her to shoulder everything alone.

"Yes, mom," he answers in a long-suffering voice. His mother just rolls her eyes at him with a small giggle. But then she turns serious and Baekhyun can tell she has something to say.

"Mom, what is it?"

"There's someone who wants to see you," she answers quietly. "I didn't know Chanyeol is back."

Baekhyun sighs. "The job I had the past three weeks... it's for his company."

His mother pats his cheek softly, comforting her son who looks troubled. "I'm not going to pry. But Chanyeol is in your studio and he looks-He doesn't look too well. You should talk to him."

Baekhyun nods feebly. "Okay."

He makes his way to his studio, unsure of how to face Chanyeol. What does the other man want from him? He already gave him the easy way out when he left this morning. Chanyeol should've taken advantage of that.

He reaches the small room and pauses when he sees the taller guy standing with his hands in his pockets, staring at the lighthouse sketch on the wall. His profile is as handsome as ever and Baekhyun clasps his hands together to stop them from reaching out for him.

Chanyeol finally senses his presence. The tall guy turns to him and, to Baekhyun's surprise, immediately wraps him in a tight hug, one hand cupping the back of his head and pressing him close to his body. Chanyeol rests his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder and gathers him closer.

"I was so worried when I woke up and saw you gone," Chanyeol says. "You should've left a message or something."

Baekhyun couldn't speak. What is this? Why is Chanyeol acting this way?

The younger man pulls back a little and gazes at Baekhyun's face, worried. "Was there an emergency? Why did you have to leave early? You should've wakened me up and I could've driven you to where you needed to go." Chanyeol hugs him again and kisses him on top of his head. "Don't do that again, okay?"

Stop it, Baekhyun wants to say, chest tightening. Why are you like this?

"What are you doing?" he manages to say.

Chanyeol eases his hold on Baekhyun, tilting the shorter male's face up to his. "What do you mean?"

"Let go, Chanyeol." Baekhyun retreats, pushing Chanyeol's arms away.

His ex-boyfriend's brows knot in confusion. "What's the matter, Baek? Last night-"

"Last night was just an accident, Yeol. It wasn't meant to happen." It hurts to say it and Baekhyun has to pause to let the wave of pain the words brought pass. "At most it was just a goodbye."

"What do you mean?" Chanyeol grabs onto his shoulders, forcing Baekhyun to look at him. "It wasn't an accident and you know it. It wasn't even remotely a goodbye. I felt it, Baekhyun. You love me."

"You're wrong. I don't," Baekhyun lies.

"Bullshit, I was there," the younger says, not letting Baekhyun escape. "You wouldn't kiss me or touch me like that if you don't love me anymore. You still love me." Chanyeol searches into his eyes. "And I still love you."

"Stop it!" Baekhyun snaps, not wanting to hear anymore. "Stop lying."

Chanyeol doesn't love him. If he loved Baekhyun then he wouldn't hurt him this way and make him hope for impossible things.

"I'm not lying, Baek," Chanyeol says with pleading eyes, willing Baekhyun to believe him. "I love you. I never stopped."

"You left me."

"I know I did," the younger male replies. "That's why I came back-"

Baekhyun shakes his head, done with the lies he's hearing. "I'm not that stupid, Chanyeol. You came back because of the beach house."

"That beach house," Chanyeol says with a fake laugh. He lifts his hand and gently tucks Baekhyun's hair behind his ear. "There's no client," he says softly.

"What?" the smaller asks in shock.

"I reached Seoul the day after we broke up, telling myself I won't ever look back and that If I have to, I'd drive myself to the ground working so that I can succeed and show you what you lost," Chanyeol starts to explain, eyes clouded with memories and his own pain. "I hit gold, Baek. I was new in the company but I sold property after property after property until I got promoted. But I didn't stop working hard."

"I reached my first million after two years and still I kept on going. If I was going to make you eat your words, I'd have to be beyond successful. I'd have to rule the world," Chanyeol pauses and chuckles in self-mockery. "I hated you so much."

The barely healed wounds in Baekhyun's heart start to bleed again with the other man's words.

"In three years I had my own company, built from countless sleepless nights and sheer determination. The night I stood in my new office, looking out the windows into the city that gave me everything I needed, do you know what I was thinking?" Chanyeol stares at him. "I was on top of the world and I got what I wanted... but why wasn't I happy?"

Baekhyun's chest ached at the lost expression in Chanyeol's eyes. He doesn't want to listen to him anymore but a masochistic part of him won’t let him leave.

"But I ignored the feeling and I told myself it was just because I wasn't used to it. So I continued until my company became successful, too. Two years later, Lighthouse Developers is on top of the game and other companies wanted to buy it to get me out of the competition. The crazy thing is after I received a really good offer, I was tempted to say yes. Can you believe that?"

The businessman rubs his hands against the back of his neck.

"After years of working so hard I was just going to let it go." Chanyeol moves closer to him. "Because I was so tired, Baek. I got tired of pretending I was doing everything to get back at you. I got tired of telling myself that I don't love you. I was tired of working and surrounding myself with things that aren't you."

Chanyeol smiles sadly at him. "I don't regret leaving, Baek, you have to understand that. What I regret was the way I did it. Looking back, we were both immature, but I told you so many hurtful things I wouldn't even forgive me."

"I hated you, too," Baekhyun whispers.

"I know. But I love you and I was so tired of being lonely. I told you, right? I'm only happy when I'm with you. So I got this half-assed plan to return and get you back. But I'm a coward. I couldn't take it if you reject me outright and thus I thought of a way to give us time to be together so I can win you back."

"Three weeks to make you fall for me again but when I got here I realized how dumb that was. You obviously hated me and so I gave up. I told myself it was enough that I can be with you before I left for good. Except there you were-my lighthouse. When I look at you, I'm home."

Chanyeol leans his forehead against Baekhyun's, the both of them shaking. “Can't we have a chance?"

"You hurt me," Baekhyun manages to say through the tightness in his throat. He doesn't move away, wanting Chanyeol to understand, too. "You made me love you. You made it so that I can't even breathe at the thought of us not being together. You hurt me so much."

"You broke your promises and left me to pick up the pieces alone." Baekhyun cradles Chanyeol's face in his palm. "You're right, we were both immature. Both too young to know better. But the pain, Chanyeol, it was real. Just as I still have the fear of leaving, I'm still scared of feeling that pain. I won't risk my heart again. I can't."

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol whispers roughly.

"I'll always want you, Yeol." Baekhyun closes his eyes, unable to bear seeing Chanyeol's tears. "But I can't do it."

"You can, Baek," Chanyeol wounds his arms around him once more, embracing him so fiercely, he can't breathe. "I love you. Please come back to me," Chanyeol cries and his hot tears completely break down Baekhyun’s walls until he feels his own tears falling.

The taller man hears him sob. Chanyeol straightens and brushes away Baekhyun's tears with his thumbs. "It's okay, it’s okay, I'm sorry." Chanyeol presses his lips to Baekhyun's forehead before he lets go. "I'll leave so don't cry anymore."

But when Chanyeol leaves, all Baekhyun could do was run into his mother's arms and cry. He cries until his voice is gone, until there are no more tears in his eyes but his heart is still crying.

He lays his head on his mother's lap while she murmurs comforting words as he brushes his hair with her slender hands. "Was I wrong, mom?" he asks.

"I can't answer that for you, son."

Baekhyun sits up and faces her, eyes red and swollen and looking so miserable. "When dad left you, it hurt, right?"

"Of course it did," she answers, reaching for Baekhyun's hands and covering it with her warm palm. "I loved him so much and I felt so betrayed when he just up and left one day without even telling me why."

"I hate leaving," Baekhyun mutters. "I hate people who leave."

Mrs. Byun sighs. "Is that why you didn't want to go with Chanyeol before?" Baekhyun doesn't answer but his mom understood. "Leaving isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"But it is," he replies. "Look at aunt. She has to depend on you during her pregnancy because her husband is nowhere to be found. You. You had to do three jobs before just to support us. And-and just," Baekhyun covers his face with his hands. "People who are left behind get hurt. I don't want to be like that."

"My baby boy," his mother draws his head against her small shoulder. "I'm sorry to know you've been scarred this way. I'm not saying you're wrong, you're entitled to your own fears and beliefs, but, Baekhyun, is this really only about that?"

"What else would this be about?" Baekhyun asks, puzzled.

"I'm sure you realized soon enough that you and Chanyeol could have fixed everything with a few compromises, I didn't raise a dumb son, did I?" she teases, wanting Baekhyun to smile again.

"Of course," he answers.

"Then you know. After all, Seoul is just four hours away." His mother gave him a peck on the temple before she stands up from her seat on his bed. "You should rest."

Baekhyun spends the rest of the day staring at the ceiling of his room; desperately convincing himself he made the right decision.

Baekhyun's working in his studio the next day, losing himself in another one of his paintings. His mom's back at his aunt's place and he's alone. First day of moving on, he tells himself determinedly.

A while later his agent drops by, suit looking quite ruffled in this hot weather. "I got your check this morning." He walks over to where Baekhyun is and hands him an envelope.

"Don't you think that's rather big for a paycheck?" he comments but accepts it nonetheless. He places it on the table next to him.

"Yeah, heavy, too, that's why you're going to satisfy my curiosity and are going to pick it up and open it," Jongdae announces. "Like right now."

He's not in the mood to argue, though, so he picks up the envelope again and braces himself. Baekhyun absently runs his fingers over the company name embossed at the back. Lighthouse Developers, Inc.

“Except there you were-my lighthouse. When I look at you, I'm home.”

He shakes his head and breaks the seal. Better to get this over and done with so Jongdae can leave him to his wallowing. There's a set of papers inside which he takes out. Baekhyun's lips part in shock and a wobbly hand covers his mouth.

It was the title deed to the beach house.

He drops the envelope on the floor and stares at the papers he's holding. His name is printed in clear, bold letters.

"Hey, Baekhyun, you okay?" Jongdae asks worriedly. "What is it?"

"Jongdae." Baekhyun looks up at his friend. "He left it to me," he murmurs.

"Left what?" his friend asks. Baekhyun's still speechless. After rejecting him, Chanyeol still gave the beach house to him.

"Baekhyun?" Jongdae bends down to pick up the fallen envelope. He pauses when he reads a piece of note that escaped from it. "I think you should read this."

Baekhyun grabs the paper and reads it, heart thumping hard.

I'm sorry, Baek. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Chanyeol's leaving for real this time. Leaving him forever.

Baekhyun stands abruptly and pushes all the papers towards Jongdae. "I need to-I need to go," he says dazedly. "Chanyeol-I need to go."

He quickly runs to get his bag and goes out the house, followed by a bewildered Jongdae. "Where are you going?"

Baekhyun stops and turns back to his friend. "To Seoul."

And it's so easy. Why does saying it suddenly seem so easy? He's ready to run to Chanyeol. Why couldn't it be this easy before?

"And how do you suppose you'd go there? Riding your bike?" Jongdae tsked. "Come on, I'll give you a ride to the terminal." The younger man hugs his agent gratefully.

Soon they're on their way. Baekhyun calls his mother and she tells him to be careful, nothing more. Perhaps she already knows.

She's right. There's more to it than Chanyeol's hurtful words and Baekhyun's fear of leaving. It's also about Baekhyun's insecurities. He was so sure that Chanyeol didn't love him enough to stay that he was ready to believe the worst. Somehow their fight became a test of Chanyeol's love and-measured with Baekhyun's crooked scale-it failed.

They reach the terminal and Jongdae bids him good luck-his friend still unaware of what's actually happening but lending support nonetheless. He hands him the envelope Baekhyun almost forgot about. Baekhyun’s so nervous while he lines up inside the terminal but he forces himself to get into the bus.

On the way to the city, while watching the unfamiliar scenery pass by, Baekhyun realizes he's more afraid of losing Chanyeol again than any other fear of his.

Four hours later, Baekhyun finds himself standing in the middle of skyscrapers-tall concrete towers covering all directions that he feels so small and insignificant. It's scary but he doesn't have time for it, he has to go to Chanyeol immediately. He takes out Junmyeon's business card and tries to look for their office.

The roads are confusing and there are people everywhere, colorful signage and loud car honks assaulting his senses. He's getting dizzy but he forges on. He calls Junmyeon although the assistant doesn't answer right away. He thankfully picks up on Baekhyun's third try.

"Hello? Is this Baekhyun?" Junmyeon asks.

"Yes!" Baekhyun answers with relief. "I'm glad I reached you. I'm currently in the city and I really need to get to your office."

"Oh, is there a problem?"

"There's none. I just need to talk to Chan-Mr. Park."

"Mr. Park, yes, I think he's still in the office," Baekhyun hears a shuffle of papers in the background, "Hmm. His flight isn't until seven tonight and he's got a meeting until quarter to four. It's just three so he should be there."

"Flight?" he asks weakly.

"Yes, to London. Actually, I'm on another site right now, finishing our last project," Junmyeon explains. "He's going on indefinite leave. I'm kind of worried actually because I think he's planning to sell Lighthouse and-" Junmyeon trails on but Baekhyun doesn't hear him.

Chanyeol's going away for good.

"Junmyeon-ssi," he interrupts the other man, "I really need to get to your office now."

Chanyeol's assistant gives him the directions and Baekhyun thanks him profusely. It takes another twenty minutes to get to the company. Baekhyun can't hear anything with how loud his heart is beating. He immediately feels out of place once he steps inside the posh office. Everyone is in their suits and smart clothes while Baekhyun's still in his paint stained shirt, ripped jeans and sneakers.

He has to go through security and all before he's allowed to go to the executive offices. Thank god Junmyeon eased the process when the assistant called and scheduled an appointment for him. He goes out of the elevator and arrives outside Chanyeol's office just in time for the end of the meeting, much to his relief.  He strides over to the secretary's desk and gives her his name.

"Mr. Byun Baekhyun?" the old woman asks. "I think Mr. Kim got your appointment time wrong." She checks her computer again. "Mr. Park's last schedule today is the meeting with CBY, Inc. Then he has a flight later at seven. His meeting finished quite early and he already left for the airport."

"He did?" he asks, voice dripping with disappointment.

"Yes, I do apologize. But maybe we can get you an appointment with Mr. Kim?" the secretary suggests.

"No, it's okay. Thank you." Baekhyun bows and turns around, making his way blindly towards the elevators. He won't get to the airport on time, he thinks despairingly. What should he do now?

His mobile rings and he picks it up, thoughts still all jumbled, "Hello?"

"Baekhyun!" Junmyeon speaks from the other end. "I'm so sorry, I just heard from Mrs. Jung. I wasn't aware the meeting's over. I was tied up with work here."

"It's okay, Junmyeon-ssi, I really appreciate all your help," Baekhyun replies, trying to keep his voice steady even as he tears up.

"Okay, but maybe I can give you Mr. Park's number? He should just now be arriving at the airport; I'm guessing his phone's still on."

Baekhyun grips on his cell phone tight. "Can I have it?"

"Sure, I'll send it to you right now," there's a pause and then, "Good luck."

Baekhyun smiles hopefully when the call ended. He isn't sure what Junmyeon knows about him and Chanyeol but the guy has really been a great help. He stops by the elevator doors and, with trembling fingers, dials the number Junmyeon gave him. It takes five seconds of pure terror before someone picks up from the other line and a familiar deep voice fills his ears.

Something grabs at Baekhyun's chest and he closes his eyes tightly. "Chanyeol?"

A second or two passes. "Baekhyun?"

"Yes," Baekhyun answers immediately. "Yes, it's me."

The other man doesn't say anymore and the silence is painful.

"I-I got the papers you sent," Baekhyun stutters. "I saw the deed to the house."

"It's yours," Chanyeol answers briefly.

"I don't want it!" the older blurts out. "No, I mean..."

I mean, what I want is you.

"In any case," Chanyeol says with a sigh. "It's under your name now. You can do whatever you want with it. Is that all, Baek?"

"No, it's not." Baekhyun's in a panic. It's like Chanyeol's now beyond his reach. And for the first time he realizes, it's possible that he can't get him back.

"I'm sorry, Baek," the other man apologizes. "I'm about to-"

"You were wrong about one thing," Baekhyun cuts in, not wanting to hear Chanyeol say goodbye for the third time. "I mean, you were right about a lot of things five years ago and the other day, too, but you got one thing wrong. I have dreams, Chanyeol. And... and every one of them still has you in it."

"Yes, you hurt me and I don't want to feel that again. And if I give us a chance, there's a possibility you'll hurt me again but I realized," Baekhyun breathes deeply, "I realized that I'd rather hurt and cry in your arms than be alone and feel nothing at all. Because I'm pretty sure, if it's not you, I'd never love anyone else again."

There is still no response and Baekhyun holds onto his chest, preparing it for the coming loneliness. "I'm in your office, in the city," he laughs brokenly. "And it's really big and scary and everything I imagined it to be. But it's beautiful, too."

One more, Baekhyun, just one more and then let him go.

"On my way here... I...  It's currently 46 degrees in London. I checked. And maybe I'm now on my way to a mall or something so I can buy the right clothes for when I come after you and-" Baekhyun really can't stop the tears. "Can you say something please?"

But there remains no answer. The elevators door open and he knows then that it's over. Baekhyun gets in, still pressing his phone to his ear. Chanyeol has probably hung up but he can't bear to do it just yet. Baekhyun pushes on the close button and leans his back tiredly against the elevator wall.

He hears another ding but it sounds strangely close to his ears. He didn't have a chance to wonder more about it because a tall man is suddenly stopping the carriage doors from closing. The doors open completely again and the man leans a bit against the doorway, panting from his sprint across the hall.

Baekhyun's eyes widen as the tall guy grins at him and enters the elevator, nonchalantly standing right next to him and reaching for his free hand. The door closes and Chanyeol speaks, entwining his fingers with Baekhyun's. "I was about to get into my car and head for the airport but then you called." He then lifts his hand and presses a kiss to Baekhyun's knuckles. "It's a really big city and I don't want you to get lost. So I guess, I'll go shopping with you."

The smaller man's torn between hitting his ex-boyfriend in the head or shouting at Chanyeol for worrying him or performing on him all kinds of painful maneuvers he learned during his middle school hapkido class. But he settles for throwing himself at Chanyeol and wrapping his arms around his waist.

Then he cries, his tears soaking through Chanyeol's shirt. "I almost used the money for my gallery to buy a ticket to where you are, you idiot."

Baekhyun feels the rumbling inside Chanyeol's chest as he laughs. Although, he hears the younger man's voice tremble when he calls his name and says, "I love you.”

“Higher,” Baekhyun orders his fiancé while his hand holding a marker is poised against the wall, the short rubber-band-tied sprout of hair on top of his head bobbing as if having a life of its own. “This has to be perfect and spot on.”

Chanyeol, who's sporting the same hairstyle and whose arms are wrapped around Baekhyun’s hips, lifting him up, rubs his nose against the older male’s tummy, “You’re really not that light, sweetheart.”

“Yeol, stop that!” he admonishes, barely reining in his laughter from being tickled. “I have to finish this painting this weekend before we go back to Seoul.”

But the younger man still continues tickling the squirming Baekhyun until he feels the shorter male bending down and biting the tip of his ear. Chanyeol yelps and lets Baekhyun slide lower against him, stopping only when they’re finally face to face. “That’s not nice.”

Baekhyun wraps his arms and legs around Chanyeol and squeezes. “Well, then let me finish.”

“But it’s the weekend,” the younger man grumbles. “And we’re alone in our house, with no work, no Kim Jongdae calling, no Kim Junmyeon calling-we can actually do more fun stuff!”

Baekhyun rests his forehead against his fiancé’s. “Who was the one who told me to do a mural in every room and complete it before the wedding, hmm?”

“I’d rather do you in all-“

“Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says in exasperation. “Anyway, this is the last one and I’d also really want to get it done before our parents get back from their cruise. Which reminds me,” the older man kisses the tip of Chanyeol’s nose. “I don’t think I’ve thanked you properly for that yet.”

“You’re right, you haven’t,” Chanyeol answers with a mischievous grin. “What do I get?”

“This.” The elder leans close until their lips are almost brushing before swerving to the right to bite on the tip of Chanyeol’s other ear.

The taller man jumps in surprise but quickly recovers. With a playful roar, Chanyeol walks forward until Baekhyun’s back is against the wall, holding his lover securely so he won’t fall and Baekhyun won’t kill him. “My turn.”

Baekhyun eyes him in anticipation, heart beating so fast, breathless even if they’ve already shared thousands of kisses and are more likely to share thousands more. Chanyeol leans closer and closer, head tilted to the side and Baekhyun can feel his hot breath ghosting over his lips. But just as he expects that full mouth to connect with his, Chanyeol abruptly stops and frowns at something beside Baekhyun’s head.

“That elf dude looks really familiar.” Chanyeol squints. “Like really, really familiar.”

The smaller man chuckles, cupping the side of Chanyeol’s face to direct his gaze back to him. “Well, he was drawn after a certain person.”

“Byun Baekhyun, I love you. And I’d do everything to make you happy,” Chanyeol tells him intently. “But I refuse to have Junmyeon’s face on my wall.”

Baekhyun laughs and draws Chanyeol closer. “He did help make us happen again.”

“For that, I can just give him a raise,” the younger male murmurs, distracted, mind obviously on other things as he nuzzles Baekhyun’s cheek and presses his body closer. “Or introduce him to your agent so they can pester each other and leave us alone.”

Baekhyun has a lot of better suggestions but the other man doesn’t give him the chance to speak. Chanyeol’s lips are already opening over his and are effectively scrambling his thoughts until all he can think about is him.

part i