To My FriendlesbianchicJanuary 6 2017, 03:10:02 UTC
I came on LJ to write a post myself and found yours. No direct reference to me, but of course I know I'm rolled up in here, too. I will never stop regretting crossing that line. Not just that it blew up, but that I did it in the first place. It was truly disrespectful, because I do know you and understand you. As you said, I wasn't thinking with my brain. I was wading through fear and insecurity. I can't undo it. I can only go forward and do better
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Re: To My Friendkeith_spyderJanuary 6 2017, 11:49:24 UTC
This wasn't about you, so that's why you're not referenced. This was written to get it out of my head so I would stop beating myself up, to remind myself how long I've been riding the broncos in this dysfunctional, codependent rodeo, and why I desperately need to stop. If you did read this, you'd see you're not the only person with bad habits they need to fix - I am just as screwed up as everybody else - and that you are so far from being the only loved one I've done this dance with, it's not even close to being funny. But you were not the reason it was written - any insights gleaned by you are just a side benefit.
You will always be Bestie, my KY GF, my favorite distraction. I told you - I am not going anywhere. So stop thinking so much about me, and focus on YOU. Because YOU are AMAZING. I am so happy you're taking care of your amazing self.
Re: To My FriendlesbianchicJanuary 9 2017, 02:10:12 UTC
Being your Bestie...your KY GF...your favorite distraction...makes me very happy. I'm glad we've moved through the rough spot. As much as I do HATE arguing with you, I do see that having been through a couple and come out the other side has made me more secure in the friendship. Someone loving me enough to stick around and work through disagreements is a new thing. I'm learning how it works. Having said that, if it never happens again, that will be fine with me. I can hope. <3
I LOVE seeing you taking care of you as well. Seeing you excited about writing songs, doing musicals, makes me smile. Here's to a wonderful year, personally and professionally, for us both.
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You will always be Bestie, my KY GF, my favorite distraction. I told you - I am not going anywhere. So stop thinking so much about me, and focus on YOU. Because YOU are AMAZING. I am so happy you're taking care of your amazing self.
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I'm glad we've moved through the rough spot. As much as I do HATE arguing with you, I do see that having been through a couple and come out the other side has made me more secure in the friendship. Someone loving me enough to stick around and work through disagreements is a new thing. I'm learning how it works.
Having said that, if it never happens again, that will be fine with me. I can hope. <3
I LOVE seeing you taking care of you as well. Seeing you excited about writing songs, doing musicals, makes me smile. Here's to a wonderful year, personally and professionally, for us both.
Love you, Always. <3
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