[fic] To write home a song of magpie
Title: To write home a song of magpie
Length: 6,496 words
Pairing: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine except for the plot and the writing.
Warnings: Mention of war-related injuries.
Summary: Baekhyun joins the military because it is what expected of him; Kyungsoo joins the military because it is his choice to make.
A/N: Originally posted here as a part of BaekSoo's Sooenaemoured 2014 fanfic exchange. I was going to take this old school, like Soviet military during WWII old school, but I changed it to the Navy SEAL instead because it was way too hard. And, of course, thank you for nelliephantt, my beta, who's always been an absolute angel.
The art of perseverance, in Baekhyun's Personal Guide Book to All Shits My Dad Says, is that you have to pretend that the difficulty isn't there, if better, that it doesn't exist in the first place, that stubbornness prevails, and that you're walking just fine even though there are razor blades under your feet; you have to plaster on a smile and just take one for the team. Hooyah. Baekhyun excels in this art, is a master even, because he has been taught, from even before he had learned how to walk, that giving up is not an option, especially for those who were unfortunate enough to be born in the Byun family.
You can ask his older brother, Baekbom, who just got back from his third tour in Iraq, for instance, of how perseverance has served him throughout the course of his life; if you can get him to even talk to you, that is, because nowadays, Baekbom mostly sits in his wheel chair―the obviousness of his missing leg obscene―staring blankly out of his bedroom windows, mind still trapped in the past and dreaming about his glorious days with his men-in-arms. Perseverance. Yeah, more like self-destruction.
But since Baekhyun is also a Byun, and every Byun perseveres in one way or another, he has no other choice but to say yes sir when his father tells him to follow the family's tradition and serve the country. Baekhyun doesn't think he'll fit in with a military; perseverance says he tries anyway.
The Navy is exactly what Baekhyun had imagined; rules―lots of rules, obstacles, self-loathing, sweat, more self-loathing, more sweat, more rules, absolute obedience―nothing comes cheap around here, everything must be proven, must be earned, must be counted and accumulated into something, including yourself, especially yourself. One can't be born into a marine anyway, they must be made. Baekhyun is way past being made; he's the epitome of his father's dream and the sick twisted sense of responsibility that has not only taken root but has already sprung into life. Baekhyun doesn't want to apply for the SEAL, but that's exactly what he does.
Perseverance, self-destruction; rinse and repeat.
A SEAL isn't built in a day, Baekhyun cringes upon realizing that it might take even longer than it did to build Rome. Being on the toughest training program in the world, it is no wonder why Baekhyun can't quite remember his roommate's faces when the dropout rate is often over 90 percent and the assigned beds rotate faster than the Earth rotates itself.
After endless basic training ended, SEAL Troop Training begins immediately where SEAL Qualification Training left off. It's another eighteen-months of pre-deployment training before they will be shipped out, considered deployable, destructive. Baekhyun still isn't quite sure how to feel upon getting assigned to SEAL Team 10, which has the assigned geographic responsibility in Europe and the Mediterranean, and he isn't quite sure whether it will be a good or a bad thing to be as far away from home as possible; after all you can take a person out of the Byun but you can never take a Byun out of a person.
Baekhyun wants to be just a Baekhyun; the Byun in him perseveres and clings to him like a needy shadow that doesn't know when to call it quits.
There are six Platoons per Team and sixteen SEALs per Platoon: one chief, two junior officers, and thirteen enlisted; the newly enlisted will later train together after the they finish their six-month Individual Specialty Training. Baekhyun opts for Advanced Close Quarter Combat/Breacher, with the emphasis on the latter, with two other people from his Platoon, Chanyeol and Jongdae; while some go for some other options like Naval Special Warfare Combat Fighting Course, like Zitao, Jongin and Minseok, or Technical Surveillance Operations, like Luhan and Junmyun. As for the remaining members of his Platoon, Baekhyun isn't quite sure on their choices. It's not like they knew each other before being thrown into the same group anyway.
Baekhyun has always believed in the merits of confrontation, of diving in head first to see if he can witness the end triumphantly or otherwise in ruin; so being a trained specialist on Methods of Entry seems like the right decision to make. It speaks to him, coerces even; choose me, for going in first might mean not coming out at all, its voice says, it might mean not having to come out physically alive but already dead inside. These days the only choice Baekhyun considers is to come out of this in one piece or not coming out at all. There's already too much of a ghost left behind at the Byun's residence for him to consider becoming one.
Still, perseverance, self-delusion; rinse, rinse some more, and repeat it all over again.
As far as the first phase of the work-up goes, Baekhyun considers it a worthwhile experience. He has been trained enough on the subject of barrier penetration to be able to do one with his eyes closed. Yet again, the Byun perseveres. After six months of too much re-enactment on every surprise attack strategy imaginable and the over-usage of flash-bang and gas grenades on Baekhyun's end, the whole Platoon is finally brought in together for phase two of the work-up, Unit Level Training.
Baekhyun meets up with his fellow Platoon-mates again in the training field; they've been sharing living quarters, sure, but this is the first time Baekhyun is going to be training alongside them―his future men-in-arms, his friends, the people that he has to trust his life with. He doesn't know how good they all are, but the fact that they made it here means that they're persistent enough, hard enough, tough enough to be in the SEAL program. This is the elite force; everyone is deadly competence.
Baekhyun isn't here to make friends, exactly, but if you're in this hell of a program that was designed to either break or make you, you can't quite stop the bond between the marines from taking form.
Kris, he learns, is very serious, but only when they're on duty, the majority of time he's just as dumb as Chanyeol. Junmyun uses puppy eyes a lot when he wants to get his way, and is very forthcoming with compliments. He babies Zitao and Sehun like they're both five years old, which, more often than not, they kind of are. Minseok likes to stay in the background, a natural wallflower that one, but once in a while he cracks some really awesome jokes that leave everyone in tears. Luhan plays around when he knows he can get away with it. He and Jongdae are probably the best and worst pranksters that Baekhyun has ever met, with Jongdae being just a bit more shameless about it than Luhan is. Yixing spaces out but because he likes to ponder everything through before voicing them out loud. Jongin is awfully quiet, but once you get to know him he's this really nice kid who will suddenly drop off to sleep on your shoulder.
And then there is Kyungsoo...
Kyungsoo is the kind of man that would easily slip your mind after the first time you see him, but when you try to remember his face again, it's his eyes that you will remember first―sharp, fierce, deadly; like once he's got you in the line of sight, you'll never get away from him. They're the kind of eyes you see in wildlife documentaries; the exact moment when the leopard tears at the gazelle's jugular with its teeth, eyes looking down at its prey's demise then back up at the camera as if trying to say, look. See how easy I've done it? Now you're next. Kyungsoo alternates between looking like he doesn't want to acknowledge your existence at all, or he's one second away from shooting you between the eyes; the latter he wears more often.
Baekhyun steals a glance over his shoulder, to the spot somewhere around the corner of the rooftop deck of one of the houses behind him. He can't make out if there's anyone lying flat on the cement floor up above, a standard-issue M40A5 sniper rifle secured between the tripod and his hands, eyes tracking their movement on the ground; but he's sure that's where Kyungsoo is.
Kyungsoo has always been the best in class; he has never missed a mark, not even once since Baekhyun has known him, or so everybody says, and is stealthy as hell. Targets coming in hot. You need to move in right now. Kyungsoo's voice carries on through the headpiece and Baekhyun's mind immediately zeroes in on the task at hand: shoot all the marks, don't shoot the civilians, locate the bomb.
The first 7.62x51mm NATO round pierces through the wind, shooting past the top of Baekhyun's right ear to the first practice target, the cut-out of a man holding a machine gun. Baekhyun doesn't even falter, running right past it over to the next target, taking it down with his MP5SD-N1 submachine gun. The less time and the more accuracy rate their Platoon gets, the better the chance they will get to deploy soon.
Kyungsoo is Baekhyun's little golden ticket to the war factory; the other repetitive tasks they're doing are his ride to freedom from the Byun-land.
Targets all clear, no civilians injured, well done SEALs, their officer says through the headpiece. Baekhyun turns around to look for Kyungsoo's silhouette on the rooftop, hoping to catch maybe a glimpse of him packing away his gear, and to maybe give him a congratulating thumb-up, but the man is already gone. When all else doesn't go according to plan, Baekyun muses, just chalk it up to things not yet done and try again tomorrow.
Perseverance, self-indulgence; doesn't have to rinse, just repeat until it gets old.
As Baekhyun has learned in the first month of training together with his Platoon, Kyungsoo is, by nature, the most unforgiving person Baekhyun has ever had the misfortunate to meet. He snaps at Sehun for delaying them by four seconds longer than he deems necessary when the kid can't cut the rope around his feet fast enough on their second combat swimming training, barks at Chanyeol for his premature breaching into the target's location without waiting for proper vision from the top, which resulted in a fake explosion, in urban warfare training the next week, but mostly, he just looks at Baekhyun with tired eyes after each training, as if he's chiding Baekhyun over the unnecessary injuries that he collects like trophies from his well-fought combat.
They only serve to prove how reckless you are in the battlefield. If you got this much injuries from just a training, imagine what state will you be in when we're in the real war zone. Kyungsoo would say, rolling his eyes at Baekhyun's latest antics from their recent work-up, arms folded across his chest, while Baekhyun tries to tie his own gauze over the graze on his arm.
Kyungsoo is such an unforgiving person that, the next time that they train for the hostile maritime interdiction, he shoots a millimeter away from Baekhyun's feet each time he tries to ram into a target with his shoulder.
Baekhyun has also learned that there's even less middle ground when it comes to Do Kyungsoo's Personal Brand of Opinion on General People. For Kyungsoo, he either wants you alive or he wants you dead―the number of the latter criteria seeming to be multiplied by how long he's in the service―there's a no in-between when it comes to the opinion that Kyungsoo forms about other people.
"So basically, do you want me dead?" Baekhyun asks quietly, voice hush and secretive while pressing himself closer to Kyungsoo's crouching form on the third floor porch of the abandon building, looking up from his eyelashes, focus dancing from Kyungsoo's sleek rifle to the target below, "or do you want me alive?"
"Basically? I haven't decided yet," is Kyungsoo's answer. He's a little irritated now because they're in the middle of the small unit tactics training and Baekhyun is being the annoying little piece of shit who won't stop bugging him. "But right now, if you won't stop bothering me, I'll use you as a target practice instead."
Baekhyun believes Kyungsoo is a socially high-functioning sociopath, or just a sociopath on a bad day; it's a wonder how a guy like him managed to evade the military psychiatric evaluation test in the first place. Kyungsoo is a walking enigma and Baekhyun itches to understand him.
"You should be more careful," Kyungsoo says between each shot from his rifle, eyes focusing on the targets below. He shoots even before the targets move into position and hits every single one of them, as if he can read their minds and can predict which location they are going to be in in the next five seconds. It's scarily cool, and scarily terrifying.
"Hmm..." Baekhyun feigns his disinterest, even though he knows full well what little effect it has on Kyungsoo. Earlier in the day, Baekhyun dislocated his shoulder and got told to sit out until the medic deemed him ready to carry on with training. Baekhyun hadn't liked it so he convinced the officer that he could learn tactics by observing the training in the sniper's nest; Kyungsoo likes it even less if the irritating little huffs from time to time are anything to go by.
"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo sighs a little, puts down his rifle and disassembles each part with the proficiency and accuracy of someone who handles guns on the daily basis, before continuing, "You are not invincible and you are not above breaking. What is it that you're trying to prove?" Baekhyun thinks this is the first time that Kyungsoo really looks straight at him, as opposed to the usual brief glances somewhere around Baekhyun's vicinity of a face before settling at Baekhyun's ear or shoulder; this is probably the most steadfast attention that Baekhyun has ever received from Kyungsoo.
"So," Baekhyun pauses, looking up at Kyungsoo who's now standing, the sun beating down on him, casting him in the shadow as he remains seated, "you do want me alive after all." Baekhyun smiles his cheeky smile and watches as Kyungsoo hitches his rifle's case up his shoulder while shaking his head in exasperation.
Perseverance, self-mockery, stay in denial; repeat, repeat, repeat.
"I'm never gonna get anything out of you, am I?" Kyungsoo chides while lending a hand to help Baekhyun up. Baekhyun just laughs and slings his good arm over Kyungsoo's shoulder, feeling his own heat seeping onto Kyungsoo's uniform, hoping it will cling to him even after Baekhyun has to let go.
There are these little things that Baekhyun carefully catalogues as Kyungsoo's way of expressing his fondness to his Platoon―Kyungsoo softly pets Jongin's hair when the latter falls asleep on his shoulder after lunchtime. Kyungsoo secretly hands Junmyun a bottle of water after a particularly bad training session. Kyungsoo's heated argument with Zitao about what tastes better with Yogurt, honey or chocolate. Kyungsoo's tiny laugh that he hides behind his hand when Kris tries to explain why galaxy is his style. Kyungsoo and Jongdae's discussion on what type of modification they can make with their guns without breaking regulation. Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo...
Sometimes Baekhyun thinks Kyungsoo does really poorly on pretending he still finds the whole lot of them annoying. Everyone lets him have his illusion though; it's no use pointing out the obvious when the other party doesn't want to admit to it. The same can't be said for Baekhyun.
"You're the most annoying of them all," Kyungsoo comments after Baekhyun finishes giving him the abridged version of his findings. "I don't know why you find this funny though," he adds later when Baekhyun can't seem to stop laughing. Lately military life doesn't seem so bleak now that he has finally allowed himself to settle in; at least Baekhyun stops dreaming about his father's commanding words so much and Baekbom's blank far-away expression.
"It's not like I don't know that but at least I'm the most something, right?" Baekhyun queries with a satisfied smirk; Kyungsoo looks sideways at him for a long time before he blinks and looks away with a frown on his face. Baekhyun, on the other hand, is hit with a sudden curiosity.
"I just remember something that's all," Kyungsoo answers Baekhyun's questioning glance in a quiet voice. "You were the first one to greet me at the orientation. I don't know why I suddenly remember it now."
Baekhyun doesn't even remember the exchange. "Really? What did I say?" he asks, trying to think back to all those years ago when he first join the military. The corner of Kyungsoo's mouth lifts slightly before he answers, "You asked me what a kid like me was doing in the military. And I said," Kyungsoo turns to face Baekhyun now, inching his face closer and closer slowly before continuing, "I was here to shoot things," and there's a huff that can be identified as a laugh coming from Kyungsoo's lips.
Baekhyun lets out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding with a winded damn... before he laughs a little. "Now I remember," Baekhyun snickers.
"What about you though, why are you in the military?" Kyungsoo asks and Baekhyun feels his face close off of its own accord; it's not that he hates talking about this or anything, it's just that he doesn't know how to talk about it. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to be in a rush for an answer though, so Baekhyun takes his sweet time to try and piece together the right explanation.
After a while, Baekhyun answers, "My whole family serves so I guess it's sort of a family business."
Kyungsoo hums softly and comments, "So basically it was your family's choice for you to join the military," but he says it without malice or pity so Baekhyun guesses Kyungsoo doesn't find it as thoughtless as he himself does.
"Something like that, yeah," Baekhyun replies, resting his head over his folded arms, looking up through his fringe to observe Kyungsoo's constantly forced-neutral face. Kyungsoo hardly gives anything away and Baekhyun has to comb through every little thing inside his memory to gain insight of who Kyungsoo really is.
"Is it true that your father is a Commander in the Air Force?" Kyungsoo asks later when they are doing their laundry in the Laundromat. Zitao is sorting through his freshly cleaned clothes from the dryer, earbuds blasting some hip-hop music loudly enough that Baekhyun can hear it faintly, oblivious to everything around him. Baekhyun doesn't look at Kyungsoo, but he knows the latter still has his back to him, folding his own laundry with the meticulousness that only the men in service possessed.
Baekhyun answers offhandedly, "Was. He retired a couple of years back," and doesn't let it show that the topic of his father is still bothering him. He doesn't want to add to the walls that are still between Kyungsoo and himself.
"Damn." Baekhyun hears Kyungsoo's soft exclamation and he himself chuckles.
"Damn indeed." Baekhyun replies while they both continue on with the task in front of them in companionable silence.
On the last week of their Unit Training, the whole Troop is granted a leave and everyone decides that they should go out for a beer. It is a rare night; one where everyone is loose and tipsy enough to think it is a good idea to hop to the second, third, and then the fourth bar. By the time Baekhyun manages to locate Kyungsoo amidst the members of his own Platoon, Kyungsoo is beyond fed up by the antics of those around him.
"...engraved on your rifle." Baekhyun only catches the trail-end of the conversation between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, but judging by Kyungsoo's expression, he doesn't care much about what Chanyeol is saying. He's nursing his third beer if the number of the scattered beer bottles on the table are all his; the remaining contents of the one in his hand seems to be about a mouthful left if Baekhyun can still trust his eyes; he's bit unsteady on his feet himself.
"Hey man! What are you pestering our lovely sniper about?" Baekhyun plants himself right next to Kyungsoo before handing him his own barely touched beer. He should start drinking plenty of water now if he wishes to return back to base even closer to sober.
"He's asking me why there's a D.O. engraved on my rifle," answers Kyungsoo after gratefully accepting the beer from Baekhyun. The small fleeting smile on his face is an unfamiliar sight; Baekhyun's mind goes click at the image, forever capturing it with his mind shutter.
After a persistent curious eyebrow game from both Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Kyungsoo lets out a suffering sigh. "My sniper name is D.O.," Kyungsoo says, paying even less attention to the commotion going on in front of them now that he has finally finished fourth beer; the alcohol is probably the only thing keeping him from murdering the lot of them.
Chanyeol's sudden burst of laughter is as surprising as the abruptness with which it stops. He says, "for a moment there I thought you were going to say my stripper name is D.O." Baekhyun doesn't envy the hard jab Kyungsoo delivers to Chanyeol's sternum.
"Okay, I think it's time we were getting back to base," Kris yanks at Chanyeol's collar and half-drags-half-carries the man out the front door. Baekhyun stands up slowly, cursing himself as he staggers slightly. Damn, I'm drunker than I thought, and a sudden hand shoots out to take a loose hold on his upper arm, steadying him.
"You okay?" It's Kyungsoo, whose face sports a faint red flush that comes with alcohol consumption; but his eyes are clear. Kyungsoo is a midget, but his tiny body holds alcohol better than Baekhyun's, something Baekhyun would never admit to if he was in his right and sober mind.
"You're a good SEAL, good with guns, now you're a better drinker than I am? Where's the fairness in life?" Baekhyun pouts and Kyungsoo snickers before steering Baekhyun out of the bar carefully.
The November air is dry, and the wind has piecing edge to it that cuts through Beakhyun's tipsy state of mind and suddenly everything is clear. Kyungsoo still has one arm linked with Baekhyun's, as if they are lovesick teenagers going out on a stroll. Kyungsoo's rubbing his hands together, eyeing left and right as if weighing up the option of going right or going left.
"You don't remember the way back to base, do you?" Baekhyun questions, in which Kyungsoo replies with a huff and a hard yank on their linked arms to steer Baekhyun to the left.
"It's probably this way," Kyungsoo mutters, which Baekhyun immediately counters with, "Probably?" just to get another hard yank on his arm.
"It's definitely this way then." Kyungsoo's arm is still linked to Baekhyun's even though Baekhyun suspects that Kyungsoo must have realized by now that he's no longer unsteady on his feet which leads him to wonder why Kyungsoo is letting Baekhyun cling to him as if he would allow it usually. Kyungsoo never allows things that he doesn't approve of and it feels as if Baekhyun has suddenly been handed a privileged card.
"You're going soft, Do," Baekhyun chuckles softly, voice barely audible but he knows Kyungsoo has heard him, "Just last week you saved the last Chocolate milk for Sehun. What are you going to do next? Volunteer to braid Yixing's hair?" Baekhyun feels more than sees Kyungsoo rolling his eyes in the uttermost exasperation. He snickers before freeing his arm to drape it across Kyungsoo's shoulder, pulling him closer so they can share the warmth.
Kyungsoo feigns a huff, muttering something which sounds suspiciously like stupid Byun under his breath, but he doesn't pull away, doesn't shrug Baekhyun's arm off like he often threatens to do. This is the improvement I earn from being a stubborn little bastard then, Baekhyun muses silently.
Perseverance, self-satisfaction; rinse, rinse, rinse, savor.
Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun's arm over his shoulder briefly, before ghosting his finger gently over the gauze on Baekhyun's palm―the injury he got from the glass in a broken window that they had used as the point of entry a couple of days ago; it's minor enough that Baekhyun doesn't remember he's still injured most of the time. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to share this sentiment though, if the tight line of his lips is any indication.
"It's nothing, though," Baekhyun insists, balling his hand into fist in an attempt to hide his wound even though he knows it is futile. "It's just a shallow wound," he tries to lighten the mood, "Doesn't even hurt." But Kyungsoo goes suddenly quiet and there's this tension that wasn't there before and Baekhyun doesn't really know what went wrong.
"I really don't understand you," Kyungsoo sighs, "I thought I did, but it turns out I don't." His finger lingers at the back of Baekhyun's hand, as if waiting to see if Baekhyun will let him touch. "You've always been a complicated man, Baekhyun. The things I understand about you are few and far between," Kyungsoo goes on but then pauses for a short breath, an ugly smile fleetingly graces his face and disappears just as quickly, before he continues, "I don't even know why I try."
"What are you talking about?" Baekhyun is at a loss. "I'm the complicated one?" he asks in bewilderment. "You're the one wearing that game face all the time. Tell me why I'm suddenly the complicated one." Kyungsoo shakes his head a little as if he's talking to a particularly incompetent child.
"You have bullet points about me, Baekhyun. You probably conjured up charts and pies to go with them, too. I, on the other hand, hardly understand you at all," Kyungsoo states with a ghost of a smile. "I don't even know if you want to be a SEAL."
Baekhyun is alarmed; he doesn't understand where Kyungsoo has gotten this from. He stops walking and turns to face Kyungsoo, taking hold of his hand. "I want to be here, Kyungsoo," Baekhyun says, "Have I ever given you any reason to make you doubt that?"
"I don't know. Have you?" Kyungsoo counters in a small voice; he looks hesitant, like he really doesn't know if he's allowed to say whatever it is he plans to say next. Baekhyun peers down at him, face so earnest Kyungsoo has to close his eyes briefly. He opens his eyes again a breath later, expression hard and determined.
"You say that you want to be here, but all I see is you running away. You think you're being so brave but you’re just running into it with your eyes closed." Kyungsoo is looking right at Baekhyun, as if he's trying to see the real man that he has accused Baekhyun of hiding. "You want me to trust you but you don't even trust yourself. How can I trust that you will have my back when you don't even seem to value your own life?" Kyungsoo finally whispers in a hushed tone.
"It's not..." Baekhyun swallows hard, feeling his throat constrict, "It's not like that," he whispers fiercely. "You've got to understand this, Kyungsoo," Baekhyun says as he tightens his hold on Kyungsoo's hand, squeezing it in hopes that it will help to convey his feelings. "If I get used to it, to all the pain and injuries and everything, then I won't get scared." He lets out a ragged breath, trying to will the words out because Kyungsoo needs to hear this, needs to understand. "Because if I get scared, if I hesitate even for a millisecond, I could..." I could end up like Baekbom.
"But you won't," Kyungsoo hisses, face scrunched up as if personally offended. "You won't because you know why? Because I have your back. Always have and always will. I've been doing my job, keeping you in one piece since the first training session we had, why can't you realize that already?" The rise and fall of Kyungsoo's chest is harsh and his face is now red with anger, not alcohol.
Without stopping for breath, Kyungsoo continues in the same heated voice, "This is the kind of trust you have to put in us, in me. You have to trust that we will save your ass so that we, so that I, can trust you to do the same." He frees his hand and instead takes hold of Baekhyun's wrist, bringing his hand up to their eye level, shaking it as if over-emphasizing the injury to his hand is necessary.
"This will not do," Kyungsoo says with the same seriousness that he uses when he's holding a rifle, target at the end of his scope, tracking its movement with his deadly eyes. The gears in Baekhyun's head rotate and slide into place slowly, understanding seeping through his mind. Baekhyun doesn't know what to say, except oh..., and Kyungsoo scoffs, "Yeah, oh."
Baekhyun looks down at Kyungsoo dumbly for a minute, a mixture of wonder and revelation; Kyungsoo is always there, scouting the perimeter first before moving to higher ground in search of a sniping position, frowning critically at Baekhyun's injuries every time Baekhyun has to visit the medical wing, silently staying behind at the common room, keeping Baekhyun company when the man wants to make sure that his gears are all in order. As much as Baekhyun keeps track of Kyungsoo, now that he thinks about it, Kyungsoo has never been far, apparently keeping track of Baekhyun in return.
"Oh," Baekhyun utters softly again, epiphany written all over his face. Kyungsoo huffs in response.
"Asshole," Kyungsoo accuses, punching Baekhyun's bicep with his fist resulting in Baekhyun letting out a yelp. He's still rubbing his sore arm when Kyungsoo mumbles, "so dumb," and when he pulls Kyungsoo in for a hug, the latter whispers, "so annoying," continuing his little tirade, before burying his face in the dip of Baekhyun's throat.
Baekhyun looks up at the sky and thinks about the last time he saw his brother smile and believes that maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel after all.
The last mission for their Task Group Level Training is successful; it's the last mission for them before they're declared graduated and deployable. Baekyun dismounts his weapon, takes off his helmet, and is greeted with Kyungsoo's heated gaze, which seems to rake itself all over Baekhyun's body, looking for any trace of injury only to find none, because Baekhyun doesn't do injuries anymore, not for months, since that fateful night out.
Kyungsoo lets his roaming gaze rest over Baekhyun's stomach for a while, before it dips a little lower, and stays there. Baekhyun gulps.
After a quiet conversation with Kris, Kyungsoo excuses himself, claiming he needs his equipment fixed or something before dragging Baekhyun along with him; the details are kind of blurry but Baekhyun swears he sees Luhan wink at them as he smugly accepts a twenty each from Minseok and Yixing.
The infirmary is deserted, what with all the medics out on various training fields across base. Baekhyun can't even get a word out before he finds himself being push against the door, followed by the sound of said door being locked.
"I don't have any injuries," Baekhyun clarifies, a little winded, a little out of breath. Kyungsoo looks up from under the shadow of his sweaty bangs, pressing his body even closer to Baekhyun's, heat radiates off of his sweat-soaked uniform.
"Precisely," he replies with a glint in his eyes. Their faces are so close; Kyungsoo's hot breath fans across Baekhyun's lips and the latter trembles a little, an anticipation that has built up over time is ready to explode. Kyungsoo bites at the tip of his glove, pulling it off his hand with his teeth before letting it fall off to the floor. The dull thud is loud in the quiet room though Baekhyun fears that his heartbeat might be even louder.
"In my share of experience," Kyungsoo continues airily, his other glove now joining its twin on the floor, "good behavior should be rewarded."
Baekhyun's eyes widen of their own accord when Kyungsoo drops down to his knees, stealthy hands pulling at Baekhyun's belt buckle and getting his standard uniform pants down in a mere point second. Baekhyun is stunned; never in a million years did he ever imagine that this kind of thing would happen. Well, maybe that's not quite true. But he definitely hadn't imagined it taking place in a fucking public place where anyone could walk in, but as Kyungsoo looks up at him with eyes so dark, Baekhyun's heart rattles off in his chest and he thinks fuck it and throws caution to the wind.
Kyungsoo leisurely pulls down Baekhyun's underwear; the latter squeaks a noise, a truly pathetic noise which he will deny to his dying day, from high in his throat. He feels hot all over, like being bathed in the pool of fire, spreading from head to toe, pooling shamelessly at his groin. Kyungsoo just hums, hums, and hums. His teeth scrape gently over the head of Baekhyun's cock, and Baekhyun bites at his lower lip to try and keep each pitiful noise from escaping but Kyungsoo is really so good that he can't keep every moan locked behind the bars of his teeth, nor can he really help the volume of each noise that pours from between his lips. Baekhyun thinks he might lose consciousness very soon if Kyungsoo isn't planning to do anything except being a fucking little tease.
"I haven't done this in a while; you'll have to be a little patient." And then, just like that, Kyungsoo's mouth envelopes Baekhyun whole and the tight vacuum of his throat sucks Baekhyun in to its hilt. There isn't anything about Kyungsoo swiping his talented tongue along the prominent vein on the underside of his dick that calls for patience but Baekhyun can't seem to muster enough brain cells to argue. Kyungsoo hollows his cheeks around Baekhyun's cock, moaning around the shaft as if trying to communicate with Baekhyun how much he's enjoying himself, bobbing his head up and down in a maddeningly smooth rhythm.
Baekhyun's air is forced away from his lungs as he bucks up, bucks forward, hips spamming in a way that highlights his lack of control over movement at all. Every nerve on his body is being set on fire. He feels like he's drowning, and when he tries to come up for air, Kyungsoo fingers rub at his parted lips and then push in. He sucks on Kyungsoo's fingers until his mouth is just as wet, hot, red and abused as Kyungsoo's probably are. He groans around the digits in his mouth at the thought.
Satisfied, Kyungsoo retrieves his hand back from Baekhyun's mouth and down to fondle Baekhyun's balls, the other hand pumping at Baekhyun's shaft for a moment, before freeing both of his hands to use them to pin Baekhyun's hips against the door and without warning, dives his head down. Baekhyun gasps, sighs and then whimpers, this whole symphony of sound that drives Kyungsoo crazy, his nose buried in the thick hair above Baekhyun's cock, throat working to swallow around his hardness.
"Kyung...Kyungsoo I'm...," Baekhyun tries earnestly to warn the man, fingers tightening in Kyungsoo's short hair, trying to pull him off, but Kyungsoo refuses to relent. He sucks harder, working his tongue in a way that Baekhyun had never felt before, swirling his tongue around the head before he dives back down again and Baekhyun is gone. His mouth drops open in a silent moan as his body shakes, shooting his own load hard inside Kyungsoo abused red mouth, some of it leaking down the corner of his lips. Baekhyun's whole body goes rigid for a long, intense moment where Kyungsoo thinks he's going to pass out, until Baekhyun thankfully goes limp, head falling back against the door.
"You taste weird," Kyungsoo comments, voice a little hoarse, as he licks a trail of come off of his lips, and if Baekhyun wasn't busy still trying to catch his breath, he would probably locate enough brain cells to come up with something snappy in return.
"Jesus Christ," he exclaims instead, "Please don't tell me this is how you reward everyone when they do something you approve of," Baekhyun speaks between short breaths, chest still heaving like he has just run a marathon; maybe he did, he can't quite string enough coherent thought together to be sure.
"Like who?" Kyungsoo queries with a raised eyebrow, seemingly amused at the turn of the conversation.
"I don't know...Jongdae? He was particularly impressive during training yesterday." Baekhyun suggests because it makes sense to his frazzled mind, and Kyungsoo lets out a snort before responding with, "he's not my type." The man is back on his feet now, trying to tug Baekhyun's uniform back into place, hand spreading in a futile attempt to do something about the creases he helps create.
"Then what is your type?" Baekhyun asks, re-embracing eloquence by the second. He has a loose hold on Kyungsoo's waist, thumb rubbing at the notches of Kyungsoo's spine over his uniform. Kyungsoo has a small smile on his face; he looks good like this, loose and relaxed. It's refreshing seeing him like this and Baekhyun is charmed.
"Well, annoying, for one." Kyungsoo answers in a snarky tone before nibbling softly on Baekhyun's lower lip. The action feels tender, like something between lovers. Kyungsoo slips his tongue in and Baekhyun retaliates in kind by sucking hard at it, tasting himself on the roof of Kyungsoo's mouth.
"Then I've got that covered, haven't I?" Baekhyun retorts between licks and nips.
"Yes." Kyungsoo smiles, his lips form a heart shape and Baekhyun is smitten. "Yes, you did," Kyungsoo whispers softly, before his voice turns seductive again. "You might want to do something about this," he suggests, gesturing to the tent in his own pants.
Baekhyun's laugh rings loud and clear before he clasps Kyungsoo by the shoulder to spin him around, reversing their positions, trapping Kyungsoo between his body and the door behind him.
"Yes, you're right," he chuckles. "I just might do that." When Baekhyun's knees hit the ground, Kyungsoo already has his eyes closed.
Perseverance, Baekhyun muses, is when you keep at something long enough to reap the rewards; it's about hanging on to things even though they seem so dull and the temptation to cave under the pressure is undeniable, but retaining the belief that somehow you're going to pull through. Baekhyun looks up at Kyungsoo when the latter threads his fingers in Baekhyun's hair softly, thumb tracing the swell of his cheek and smiling down at him.
Perseverance, self-motivation; rinse and repeat.
Started: 140321
Finished: 140426
Note: Not really a military expert here. Please turn a blind eye if you happen to stumble upon any mistake(s) regarding that aspect. Thank you :)
Length: 6,496 words
Pairing: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Nothing here is mine except for the plot and the writing.
Warnings: Mention of war-related injuries.
Summary: Baekhyun joins the military because it is what expected of him; Kyungsoo joins the military because it is his choice to make.
A/N: Originally posted here as a part of BaekSoo's Sooenaemoured 2014 fanfic exchange. I was going to take this old school, like Soviet military during WWII old school, but I changed it to the Navy SEAL instead because it was way too hard. And, of course, thank you for nelliephantt, my beta, who's always been an absolute angel.
The art of perseverance, in Baekhyun's Personal Guide Book to All Shits My Dad Says, is that you have to pretend that the difficulty isn't there, if better, that it doesn't exist in the first place, that stubbornness prevails, and that you're walking just fine even though there are razor blades under your feet; you have to plaster on a smile and just take one for the team. Hooyah. Baekhyun excels in this art, is a master even, because he has been taught, from even before he had learned how to walk, that giving up is not an option, especially for those who were unfortunate enough to be born in the Byun family.
You can ask his older brother, Baekbom, who just got back from his third tour in Iraq, for instance, of how perseverance has served him throughout the course of his life; if you can get him to even talk to you, that is, because nowadays, Baekbom mostly sits in his wheel chair―the obviousness of his missing leg obscene―staring blankly out of his bedroom windows, mind still trapped in the past and dreaming about his glorious days with his men-in-arms. Perseverance. Yeah, more like self-destruction.
But since Baekhyun is also a Byun, and every Byun perseveres in one way or another, he has no other choice but to say yes sir when his father tells him to follow the family's tradition and serve the country. Baekhyun doesn't think he'll fit in with a military; perseverance says he tries anyway.
The Navy is exactly what Baekhyun had imagined; rules―lots of rules, obstacles, self-loathing, sweat, more self-loathing, more sweat, more rules, absolute obedience―nothing comes cheap around here, everything must be proven, must be earned, must be counted and accumulated into something, including yourself, especially yourself. One can't be born into a marine anyway, they must be made. Baekhyun is way past being made; he's the epitome of his father's dream and the sick twisted sense of responsibility that has not only taken root but has already sprung into life. Baekhyun doesn't want to apply for the SEAL, but that's exactly what he does.
Perseverance, self-destruction; rinse and repeat.
A SEAL isn't built in a day, Baekhyun cringes upon realizing that it might take even longer than it did to build Rome. Being on the toughest training program in the world, it is no wonder why Baekhyun can't quite remember his roommate's faces when the dropout rate is often over 90 percent and the assigned beds rotate faster than the Earth rotates itself.
After endless basic training ended, SEAL Troop Training begins immediately where SEAL Qualification Training left off. It's another eighteen-months of pre-deployment training before they will be shipped out, considered deployable, destructive. Baekhyun still isn't quite sure how to feel upon getting assigned to SEAL Team 10, which has the assigned geographic responsibility in Europe and the Mediterranean, and he isn't quite sure whether it will be a good or a bad thing to be as far away from home as possible; after all you can take a person out of the Byun but you can never take a Byun out of a person.
Baekhyun wants to be just a Baekhyun; the Byun in him perseveres and clings to him like a needy shadow that doesn't know when to call it quits.
There are six Platoons per Team and sixteen SEALs per Platoon: one chief, two junior officers, and thirteen enlisted; the newly enlisted will later train together after the they finish their six-month Individual Specialty Training. Baekhyun opts for Advanced Close Quarter Combat/Breacher, with the emphasis on the latter, with two other people from his Platoon, Chanyeol and Jongdae; while some go for some other options like Naval Special Warfare Combat Fighting Course, like Zitao, Jongin and Minseok, or Technical Surveillance Operations, like Luhan and Junmyun. As for the remaining members of his Platoon, Baekhyun isn't quite sure on their choices. It's not like they knew each other before being thrown into the same group anyway.
Baekhyun has always believed in the merits of confrontation, of diving in head first to see if he can witness the end triumphantly or otherwise in ruin; so being a trained specialist on Methods of Entry seems like the right decision to make. It speaks to him, coerces even; choose me, for going in first might mean not coming out at all, its voice says, it might mean not having to come out physically alive but already dead inside. These days the only choice Baekhyun considers is to come out of this in one piece or not coming out at all. There's already too much of a ghost left behind at the Byun's residence for him to consider becoming one.
Still, perseverance, self-delusion; rinse, rinse some more, and repeat it all over again.
As far as the first phase of the work-up goes, Baekhyun considers it a worthwhile experience. He has been trained enough on the subject of barrier penetration to be able to do one with his eyes closed. Yet again, the Byun perseveres. After six months of too much re-enactment on every surprise attack strategy imaginable and the over-usage of flash-bang and gas grenades on Baekhyun's end, the whole Platoon is finally brought in together for phase two of the work-up, Unit Level Training.
Baekhyun meets up with his fellow Platoon-mates again in the training field; they've been sharing living quarters, sure, but this is the first time Baekhyun is going to be training alongside them―his future men-in-arms, his friends, the people that he has to trust his life with. He doesn't know how good they all are, but the fact that they made it here means that they're persistent enough, hard enough, tough enough to be in the SEAL program. This is the elite force; everyone is deadly competence.
Baekhyun isn't here to make friends, exactly, but if you're in this hell of a program that was designed to either break or make you, you can't quite stop the bond between the marines from taking form.
Kris, he learns, is very serious, but only when they're on duty, the majority of time he's just as dumb as Chanyeol. Junmyun uses puppy eyes a lot when he wants to get his way, and is very forthcoming with compliments. He babies Zitao and Sehun like they're both five years old, which, more often than not, they kind of are. Minseok likes to stay in the background, a natural wallflower that one, but once in a while he cracks some really awesome jokes that leave everyone in tears. Luhan plays around when he knows he can get away with it. He and Jongdae are probably the best and worst pranksters that Baekhyun has ever met, with Jongdae being just a bit more shameless about it than Luhan is. Yixing spaces out but because he likes to ponder everything through before voicing them out loud. Jongin is awfully quiet, but once you get to know him he's this really nice kid who will suddenly drop off to sleep on your shoulder.
And then there is Kyungsoo...
Kyungsoo is the kind of man that would easily slip your mind after the first time you see him, but when you try to remember his face again, it's his eyes that you will remember first―sharp, fierce, deadly; like once he's got you in the line of sight, you'll never get away from him. They're the kind of eyes you see in wildlife documentaries; the exact moment when the leopard tears at the gazelle's jugular with its teeth, eyes looking down at its prey's demise then back up at the camera as if trying to say, look. See how easy I've done it? Now you're next. Kyungsoo alternates between looking like he doesn't want to acknowledge your existence at all, or he's one second away from shooting you between the eyes; the latter he wears more often.
Baekhyun steals a glance over his shoulder, to the spot somewhere around the corner of the rooftop deck of one of the houses behind him. He can't make out if there's anyone lying flat on the cement floor up above, a standard-issue M40A5 sniper rifle secured between the tripod and his hands, eyes tracking their movement on the ground; but he's sure that's where Kyungsoo is.
Kyungsoo has always been the best in class; he has never missed a mark, not even once since Baekhyun has known him, or so everybody says, and is stealthy as hell. Targets coming in hot. You need to move in right now. Kyungsoo's voice carries on through the headpiece and Baekhyun's mind immediately zeroes in on the task at hand: shoot all the marks, don't shoot the civilians, locate the bomb.
The first 7.62x51mm NATO round pierces through the wind, shooting past the top of Baekhyun's right ear to the first practice target, the cut-out of a man holding a machine gun. Baekhyun doesn't even falter, running right past it over to the next target, taking it down with his MP5SD-N1 submachine gun. The less time and the more accuracy rate their Platoon gets, the better the chance they will get to deploy soon.
Kyungsoo is Baekhyun's little golden ticket to the war factory; the other repetitive tasks they're doing are his ride to freedom from the Byun-land.
Targets all clear, no civilians injured, well done SEALs, their officer says through the headpiece. Baekhyun turns around to look for Kyungsoo's silhouette on the rooftop, hoping to catch maybe a glimpse of him packing away his gear, and to maybe give him a congratulating thumb-up, but the man is already gone. When all else doesn't go according to plan, Baekyun muses, just chalk it up to things not yet done and try again tomorrow.
Perseverance, self-indulgence; doesn't have to rinse, just repeat until it gets old.
As Baekhyun has learned in the first month of training together with his Platoon, Kyungsoo is, by nature, the most unforgiving person Baekhyun has ever had the misfortunate to meet. He snaps at Sehun for delaying them by four seconds longer than he deems necessary when the kid can't cut the rope around his feet fast enough on their second combat swimming training, barks at Chanyeol for his premature breaching into the target's location without waiting for proper vision from the top, which resulted in a fake explosion, in urban warfare training the next week, but mostly, he just looks at Baekhyun with tired eyes after each training, as if he's chiding Baekhyun over the unnecessary injuries that he collects like trophies from his well-fought combat.
They only serve to prove how reckless you are in the battlefield. If you got this much injuries from just a training, imagine what state will you be in when we're in the real war zone. Kyungsoo would say, rolling his eyes at Baekhyun's latest antics from their recent work-up, arms folded across his chest, while Baekhyun tries to tie his own gauze over the graze on his arm.
Kyungsoo is such an unforgiving person that, the next time that they train for the hostile maritime interdiction, he shoots a millimeter away from Baekhyun's feet each time he tries to ram into a target with his shoulder.
Baekhyun has also learned that there's even less middle ground when it comes to Do Kyungsoo's Personal Brand of Opinion on General People. For Kyungsoo, he either wants you alive or he wants you dead―the number of the latter criteria seeming to be multiplied by how long he's in the service―there's a no in-between when it comes to the opinion that Kyungsoo forms about other people.
"So basically, do you want me dead?" Baekhyun asks quietly, voice hush and secretive while pressing himself closer to Kyungsoo's crouching form on the third floor porch of the abandon building, looking up from his eyelashes, focus dancing from Kyungsoo's sleek rifle to the target below, "or do you want me alive?"
"Basically? I haven't decided yet," is Kyungsoo's answer. He's a little irritated now because they're in the middle of the small unit tactics training and Baekhyun is being the annoying little piece of shit who won't stop bugging him. "But right now, if you won't stop bothering me, I'll use you as a target practice instead."
Baekhyun believes Kyungsoo is a socially high-functioning sociopath, or just a sociopath on a bad day; it's a wonder how a guy like him managed to evade the military psychiatric evaluation test in the first place. Kyungsoo is a walking enigma and Baekhyun itches to understand him.
"You should be more careful," Kyungsoo says between each shot from his rifle, eyes focusing on the targets below. He shoots even before the targets move into position and hits every single one of them, as if he can read their minds and can predict which location they are going to be in in the next five seconds. It's scarily cool, and scarily terrifying.
"Hmm..." Baekhyun feigns his disinterest, even though he knows full well what little effect it has on Kyungsoo. Earlier in the day, Baekhyun dislocated his shoulder and got told to sit out until the medic deemed him ready to carry on with training. Baekhyun hadn't liked it so he convinced the officer that he could learn tactics by observing the training in the sniper's nest; Kyungsoo likes it even less if the irritating little huffs from time to time are anything to go by.
"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo sighs a little, puts down his rifle and disassembles each part with the proficiency and accuracy of someone who handles guns on the daily basis, before continuing, "You are not invincible and you are not above breaking. What is it that you're trying to prove?" Baekhyun thinks this is the first time that Kyungsoo really looks straight at him, as opposed to the usual brief glances somewhere around Baekhyun's vicinity of a face before settling at Baekhyun's ear or shoulder; this is probably the most steadfast attention that Baekhyun has ever received from Kyungsoo.
"So," Baekhyun pauses, looking up at Kyungsoo who's now standing, the sun beating down on him, casting him in the shadow as he remains seated, "you do want me alive after all." Baekhyun smiles his cheeky smile and watches as Kyungsoo hitches his rifle's case up his shoulder while shaking his head in exasperation.
Perseverance, self-mockery, stay in denial; repeat, repeat, repeat.
"I'm never gonna get anything out of you, am I?" Kyungsoo chides while lending a hand to help Baekhyun up. Baekhyun just laughs and slings his good arm over Kyungsoo's shoulder, feeling his own heat seeping onto Kyungsoo's uniform, hoping it will cling to him even after Baekhyun has to let go.
There are these little things that Baekhyun carefully catalogues as Kyungsoo's way of expressing his fondness to his Platoon―Kyungsoo softly pets Jongin's hair when the latter falls asleep on his shoulder after lunchtime. Kyungsoo secretly hands Junmyun a bottle of water after a particularly bad training session. Kyungsoo's heated argument with Zitao about what tastes better with Yogurt, honey or chocolate. Kyungsoo's tiny laugh that he hides behind his hand when Kris tries to explain why galaxy is his style. Kyungsoo and Jongdae's discussion on what type of modification they can make with their guns without breaking regulation. Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo...
Sometimes Baekhyun thinks Kyungsoo does really poorly on pretending he still finds the whole lot of them annoying. Everyone lets him have his illusion though; it's no use pointing out the obvious when the other party doesn't want to admit to it. The same can't be said for Baekhyun.
"You're the most annoying of them all," Kyungsoo comments after Baekhyun finishes giving him the abridged version of his findings. "I don't know why you find this funny though," he adds later when Baekhyun can't seem to stop laughing. Lately military life doesn't seem so bleak now that he has finally allowed himself to settle in; at least Baekhyun stops dreaming about his father's commanding words so much and Baekbom's blank far-away expression.
"It's not like I don't know that but at least I'm the most something, right?" Baekhyun queries with a satisfied smirk; Kyungsoo looks sideways at him for a long time before he blinks and looks away with a frown on his face. Baekhyun, on the other hand, is hit with a sudden curiosity.
"I just remember something that's all," Kyungsoo answers Baekhyun's questioning glance in a quiet voice. "You were the first one to greet me at the orientation. I don't know why I suddenly remember it now."
Baekhyun doesn't even remember the exchange. "Really? What did I say?" he asks, trying to think back to all those years ago when he first join the military. The corner of Kyungsoo's mouth lifts slightly before he answers, "You asked me what a kid like me was doing in the military. And I said," Kyungsoo turns to face Baekhyun now, inching his face closer and closer slowly before continuing, "I was here to shoot things," and there's a huff that can be identified as a laugh coming from Kyungsoo's lips.
Baekhyun lets out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding with a winded damn... before he laughs a little. "Now I remember," Baekhyun snickers.
"What about you though, why are you in the military?" Kyungsoo asks and Baekhyun feels his face close off of its own accord; it's not that he hates talking about this or anything, it's just that he doesn't know how to talk about it. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to be in a rush for an answer though, so Baekhyun takes his sweet time to try and piece together the right explanation.
After a while, Baekhyun answers, "My whole family serves so I guess it's sort of a family business."
Kyungsoo hums softly and comments, "So basically it was your family's choice for you to join the military," but he says it without malice or pity so Baekhyun guesses Kyungsoo doesn't find it as thoughtless as he himself does.
"Something like that, yeah," Baekhyun replies, resting his head over his folded arms, looking up through his fringe to observe Kyungsoo's constantly forced-neutral face. Kyungsoo hardly gives anything away and Baekhyun has to comb through every little thing inside his memory to gain insight of who Kyungsoo really is.
"Is it true that your father is a Commander in the Air Force?" Kyungsoo asks later when they are doing their laundry in the Laundromat. Zitao is sorting through his freshly cleaned clothes from the dryer, earbuds blasting some hip-hop music loudly enough that Baekhyun can hear it faintly, oblivious to everything around him. Baekhyun doesn't look at Kyungsoo, but he knows the latter still has his back to him, folding his own laundry with the meticulousness that only the men in service possessed.
Baekhyun answers offhandedly, "Was. He retired a couple of years back," and doesn't let it show that the topic of his father is still bothering him. He doesn't want to add to the walls that are still between Kyungsoo and himself.
"Damn." Baekhyun hears Kyungsoo's soft exclamation and he himself chuckles.
"Damn indeed." Baekhyun replies while they both continue on with the task in front of them in companionable silence.
On the last week of their Unit Training, the whole Troop is granted a leave and everyone decides that they should go out for a beer. It is a rare night; one where everyone is loose and tipsy enough to think it is a good idea to hop to the second, third, and then the fourth bar. By the time Baekhyun manages to locate Kyungsoo amidst the members of his own Platoon, Kyungsoo is beyond fed up by the antics of those around him.
"...engraved on your rifle." Baekhyun only catches the trail-end of the conversation between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, but judging by Kyungsoo's expression, he doesn't care much about what Chanyeol is saying. He's nursing his third beer if the number of the scattered beer bottles on the table are all his; the remaining contents of the one in his hand seems to be about a mouthful left if Baekhyun can still trust his eyes; he's bit unsteady on his feet himself.
"Hey man! What are you pestering our lovely sniper about?" Baekhyun plants himself right next to Kyungsoo before handing him his own barely touched beer. He should start drinking plenty of water now if he wishes to return back to base even closer to sober.
"He's asking me why there's a D.O. engraved on my rifle," answers Kyungsoo after gratefully accepting the beer from Baekhyun. The small fleeting smile on his face is an unfamiliar sight; Baekhyun's mind goes click at the image, forever capturing it with his mind shutter.
After a persistent curious eyebrow game from both Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Kyungsoo lets out a suffering sigh. "My sniper name is D.O.," Kyungsoo says, paying even less attention to the commotion going on in front of them now that he has finally finished fourth beer; the alcohol is probably the only thing keeping him from murdering the lot of them.
Chanyeol's sudden burst of laughter is as surprising as the abruptness with which it stops. He says, "for a moment there I thought you were going to say my stripper name is D.O." Baekhyun doesn't envy the hard jab Kyungsoo delivers to Chanyeol's sternum.
"Okay, I think it's time we were getting back to base," Kris yanks at Chanyeol's collar and half-drags-half-carries the man out the front door. Baekhyun stands up slowly, cursing himself as he staggers slightly. Damn, I'm drunker than I thought, and a sudden hand shoots out to take a loose hold on his upper arm, steadying him.
"You okay?" It's Kyungsoo, whose face sports a faint red flush that comes with alcohol consumption; but his eyes are clear. Kyungsoo is a midget, but his tiny body holds alcohol better than Baekhyun's, something Baekhyun would never admit to if he was in his right and sober mind.
"You're a good SEAL, good with guns, now you're a better drinker than I am? Where's the fairness in life?" Baekhyun pouts and Kyungsoo snickers before steering Baekhyun out of the bar carefully.
The November air is dry, and the wind has piecing edge to it that cuts through Beakhyun's tipsy state of mind and suddenly everything is clear. Kyungsoo still has one arm linked with Baekhyun's, as if they are lovesick teenagers going out on a stroll. Kyungsoo's rubbing his hands together, eyeing left and right as if weighing up the option of going right or going left.
"You don't remember the way back to base, do you?" Baekhyun questions, in which Kyungsoo replies with a huff and a hard yank on their linked arms to steer Baekhyun to the left.
"It's probably this way," Kyungsoo mutters, which Baekhyun immediately counters with, "Probably?" just to get another hard yank on his arm.
"It's definitely this way then." Kyungsoo's arm is still linked to Baekhyun's even though Baekhyun suspects that Kyungsoo must have realized by now that he's no longer unsteady on his feet which leads him to wonder why Kyungsoo is letting Baekhyun cling to him as if he would allow it usually. Kyungsoo never allows things that he doesn't approve of and it feels as if Baekhyun has suddenly been handed a privileged card.
"You're going soft, Do," Baekhyun chuckles softly, voice barely audible but he knows Kyungsoo has heard him, "Just last week you saved the last Chocolate milk for Sehun. What are you going to do next? Volunteer to braid Yixing's hair?" Baekhyun feels more than sees Kyungsoo rolling his eyes in the uttermost exasperation. He snickers before freeing his arm to drape it across Kyungsoo's shoulder, pulling him closer so they can share the warmth.
Kyungsoo feigns a huff, muttering something which sounds suspiciously like stupid Byun under his breath, but he doesn't pull away, doesn't shrug Baekhyun's arm off like he often threatens to do. This is the improvement I earn from being a stubborn little bastard then, Baekhyun muses silently.
Perseverance, self-satisfaction; rinse, rinse, rinse, savor.
Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun's arm over his shoulder briefly, before ghosting his finger gently over the gauze on Baekhyun's palm―the injury he got from the glass in a broken window that they had used as the point of entry a couple of days ago; it's minor enough that Baekhyun doesn't remember he's still injured most of the time. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to share this sentiment though, if the tight line of his lips is any indication.
"It's nothing, though," Baekhyun insists, balling his hand into fist in an attempt to hide his wound even though he knows it is futile. "It's just a shallow wound," he tries to lighten the mood, "Doesn't even hurt." But Kyungsoo goes suddenly quiet and there's this tension that wasn't there before and Baekhyun doesn't really know what went wrong.
"I really don't understand you," Kyungsoo sighs, "I thought I did, but it turns out I don't." His finger lingers at the back of Baekhyun's hand, as if waiting to see if Baekhyun will let him touch. "You've always been a complicated man, Baekhyun. The things I understand about you are few and far between," Kyungsoo goes on but then pauses for a short breath, an ugly smile fleetingly graces his face and disappears just as quickly, before he continues, "I don't even know why I try."
"What are you talking about?" Baekhyun is at a loss. "I'm the complicated one?" he asks in bewilderment. "You're the one wearing that game face all the time. Tell me why I'm suddenly the complicated one." Kyungsoo shakes his head a little as if he's talking to a particularly incompetent child.
"You have bullet points about me, Baekhyun. You probably conjured up charts and pies to go with them, too. I, on the other hand, hardly understand you at all," Kyungsoo states with a ghost of a smile. "I don't even know if you want to be a SEAL."
Baekhyun is alarmed; he doesn't understand where Kyungsoo has gotten this from. He stops walking and turns to face Kyungsoo, taking hold of his hand. "I want to be here, Kyungsoo," Baekhyun says, "Have I ever given you any reason to make you doubt that?"
"I don't know. Have you?" Kyungsoo counters in a small voice; he looks hesitant, like he really doesn't know if he's allowed to say whatever it is he plans to say next. Baekhyun peers down at him, face so earnest Kyungsoo has to close his eyes briefly. He opens his eyes again a breath later, expression hard and determined.
"You say that you want to be here, but all I see is you running away. You think you're being so brave but you’re just running into it with your eyes closed." Kyungsoo is looking right at Baekhyun, as if he's trying to see the real man that he has accused Baekhyun of hiding. "You want me to trust you but you don't even trust yourself. How can I trust that you will have my back when you don't even seem to value your own life?" Kyungsoo finally whispers in a hushed tone.
"It's not..." Baekhyun swallows hard, feeling his throat constrict, "It's not like that," he whispers fiercely. "You've got to understand this, Kyungsoo," Baekhyun says as he tightens his hold on Kyungsoo's hand, squeezing it in hopes that it will help to convey his feelings. "If I get used to it, to all the pain and injuries and everything, then I won't get scared." He lets out a ragged breath, trying to will the words out because Kyungsoo needs to hear this, needs to understand. "Because if I get scared, if I hesitate even for a millisecond, I could..." I could end up like Baekbom.
"But you won't," Kyungsoo hisses, face scrunched up as if personally offended. "You won't because you know why? Because I have your back. Always have and always will. I've been doing my job, keeping you in one piece since the first training session we had, why can't you realize that already?" The rise and fall of Kyungsoo's chest is harsh and his face is now red with anger, not alcohol.
Without stopping for breath, Kyungsoo continues in the same heated voice, "This is the kind of trust you have to put in us, in me. You have to trust that we will save your ass so that we, so that I, can trust you to do the same." He frees his hand and instead takes hold of Baekhyun's wrist, bringing his hand up to their eye level, shaking it as if over-emphasizing the injury to his hand is necessary.
"This will not do," Kyungsoo says with the same seriousness that he uses when he's holding a rifle, target at the end of his scope, tracking its movement with his deadly eyes. The gears in Baekhyun's head rotate and slide into place slowly, understanding seeping through his mind. Baekhyun doesn't know what to say, except oh..., and Kyungsoo scoffs, "Yeah, oh."
Baekhyun looks down at Kyungsoo dumbly for a minute, a mixture of wonder and revelation; Kyungsoo is always there, scouting the perimeter first before moving to higher ground in search of a sniping position, frowning critically at Baekhyun's injuries every time Baekhyun has to visit the medical wing, silently staying behind at the common room, keeping Baekhyun company when the man wants to make sure that his gears are all in order. As much as Baekhyun keeps track of Kyungsoo, now that he thinks about it, Kyungsoo has never been far, apparently keeping track of Baekhyun in return.
"Oh," Baekhyun utters softly again, epiphany written all over his face. Kyungsoo huffs in response.
"Asshole," Kyungsoo accuses, punching Baekhyun's bicep with his fist resulting in Baekhyun letting out a yelp. He's still rubbing his sore arm when Kyungsoo mumbles, "so dumb," and when he pulls Kyungsoo in for a hug, the latter whispers, "so annoying," continuing his little tirade, before burying his face in the dip of Baekhyun's throat.
Baekhyun looks up at the sky and thinks about the last time he saw his brother smile and believes that maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel after all.
The last mission for their Task Group Level Training is successful; it's the last mission for them before they're declared graduated and deployable. Baekyun dismounts his weapon, takes off his helmet, and is greeted with Kyungsoo's heated gaze, which seems to rake itself all over Baekhyun's body, looking for any trace of injury only to find none, because Baekhyun doesn't do injuries anymore, not for months, since that fateful night out.
Kyungsoo lets his roaming gaze rest over Baekhyun's stomach for a while, before it dips a little lower, and stays there. Baekhyun gulps.
After a quiet conversation with Kris, Kyungsoo excuses himself, claiming he needs his equipment fixed or something before dragging Baekhyun along with him; the details are kind of blurry but Baekhyun swears he sees Luhan wink at them as he smugly accepts a twenty each from Minseok and Yixing.
The infirmary is deserted, what with all the medics out on various training fields across base. Baekhyun can't even get a word out before he finds himself being push against the door, followed by the sound of said door being locked.
"I don't have any injuries," Baekhyun clarifies, a little winded, a little out of breath. Kyungsoo looks up from under the shadow of his sweaty bangs, pressing his body even closer to Baekhyun's, heat radiates off of his sweat-soaked uniform.
"Precisely," he replies with a glint in his eyes. Their faces are so close; Kyungsoo's hot breath fans across Baekhyun's lips and the latter trembles a little, an anticipation that has built up over time is ready to explode. Kyungsoo bites at the tip of his glove, pulling it off his hand with his teeth before letting it fall off to the floor. The dull thud is loud in the quiet room though Baekhyun fears that his heartbeat might be even louder.
"In my share of experience," Kyungsoo continues airily, his other glove now joining its twin on the floor, "good behavior should be rewarded."
Baekhyun's eyes widen of their own accord when Kyungsoo drops down to his knees, stealthy hands pulling at Baekhyun's belt buckle and getting his standard uniform pants down in a mere point second. Baekhyun is stunned; never in a million years did he ever imagine that this kind of thing would happen. Well, maybe that's not quite true. But he definitely hadn't imagined it taking place in a fucking public place where anyone could walk in, but as Kyungsoo looks up at him with eyes so dark, Baekhyun's heart rattles off in his chest and he thinks fuck it and throws caution to the wind.
Kyungsoo leisurely pulls down Baekhyun's underwear; the latter squeaks a noise, a truly pathetic noise which he will deny to his dying day, from high in his throat. He feels hot all over, like being bathed in the pool of fire, spreading from head to toe, pooling shamelessly at his groin. Kyungsoo just hums, hums, and hums. His teeth scrape gently over the head of Baekhyun's cock, and Baekhyun bites at his lower lip to try and keep each pitiful noise from escaping but Kyungsoo is really so good that he can't keep every moan locked behind the bars of his teeth, nor can he really help the volume of each noise that pours from between his lips. Baekhyun thinks he might lose consciousness very soon if Kyungsoo isn't planning to do anything except being a fucking little tease.
"I haven't done this in a while; you'll have to be a little patient." And then, just like that, Kyungsoo's mouth envelopes Baekhyun whole and the tight vacuum of his throat sucks Baekhyun in to its hilt. There isn't anything about Kyungsoo swiping his talented tongue along the prominent vein on the underside of his dick that calls for patience but Baekhyun can't seem to muster enough brain cells to argue. Kyungsoo hollows his cheeks around Baekhyun's cock, moaning around the shaft as if trying to communicate with Baekhyun how much he's enjoying himself, bobbing his head up and down in a maddeningly smooth rhythm.
Baekhyun's air is forced away from his lungs as he bucks up, bucks forward, hips spamming in a way that highlights his lack of control over movement at all. Every nerve on his body is being set on fire. He feels like he's drowning, and when he tries to come up for air, Kyungsoo fingers rub at his parted lips and then push in. He sucks on Kyungsoo's fingers until his mouth is just as wet, hot, red and abused as Kyungsoo's probably are. He groans around the digits in his mouth at the thought.
Satisfied, Kyungsoo retrieves his hand back from Baekhyun's mouth and down to fondle Baekhyun's balls, the other hand pumping at Baekhyun's shaft for a moment, before freeing both of his hands to use them to pin Baekhyun's hips against the door and without warning, dives his head down. Baekhyun gasps, sighs and then whimpers, this whole symphony of sound that drives Kyungsoo crazy, his nose buried in the thick hair above Baekhyun's cock, throat working to swallow around his hardness.
"Kyung...Kyungsoo I'm...," Baekhyun tries earnestly to warn the man, fingers tightening in Kyungsoo's short hair, trying to pull him off, but Kyungsoo refuses to relent. He sucks harder, working his tongue in a way that Baekhyun had never felt before, swirling his tongue around the head before he dives back down again and Baekhyun is gone. His mouth drops open in a silent moan as his body shakes, shooting his own load hard inside Kyungsoo abused red mouth, some of it leaking down the corner of his lips. Baekhyun's whole body goes rigid for a long, intense moment where Kyungsoo thinks he's going to pass out, until Baekhyun thankfully goes limp, head falling back against the door.
"You taste weird," Kyungsoo comments, voice a little hoarse, as he licks a trail of come off of his lips, and if Baekhyun wasn't busy still trying to catch his breath, he would probably locate enough brain cells to come up with something snappy in return.
"Jesus Christ," he exclaims instead, "Please don't tell me this is how you reward everyone when they do something you approve of," Baekhyun speaks between short breaths, chest still heaving like he has just run a marathon; maybe he did, he can't quite string enough coherent thought together to be sure.
"Like who?" Kyungsoo queries with a raised eyebrow, seemingly amused at the turn of the conversation.
"I don't know...Jongdae? He was particularly impressive during training yesterday." Baekhyun suggests because it makes sense to his frazzled mind, and Kyungsoo lets out a snort before responding with, "he's not my type." The man is back on his feet now, trying to tug Baekhyun's uniform back into place, hand spreading in a futile attempt to do something about the creases he helps create.
"Then what is your type?" Baekhyun asks, re-embracing eloquence by the second. He has a loose hold on Kyungsoo's waist, thumb rubbing at the notches of Kyungsoo's spine over his uniform. Kyungsoo has a small smile on his face; he looks good like this, loose and relaxed. It's refreshing seeing him like this and Baekhyun is charmed.
"Well, annoying, for one." Kyungsoo answers in a snarky tone before nibbling softly on Baekhyun's lower lip. The action feels tender, like something between lovers. Kyungsoo slips his tongue in and Baekhyun retaliates in kind by sucking hard at it, tasting himself on the roof of Kyungsoo's mouth.
"Then I've got that covered, haven't I?" Baekhyun retorts between licks and nips.
"Yes." Kyungsoo smiles, his lips form a heart shape and Baekhyun is smitten. "Yes, you did," Kyungsoo whispers softly, before his voice turns seductive again. "You might want to do something about this," he suggests, gesturing to the tent in his own pants.
Baekhyun's laugh rings loud and clear before he clasps Kyungsoo by the shoulder to spin him around, reversing their positions, trapping Kyungsoo between his body and the door behind him.
"Yes, you're right," he chuckles. "I just might do that." When Baekhyun's knees hit the ground, Kyungsoo already has his eyes closed.
Perseverance, Baekhyun muses, is when you keep at something long enough to reap the rewards; it's about hanging on to things even though they seem so dull and the temptation to cave under the pressure is undeniable, but retaining the belief that somehow you're going to pull through. Baekhyun looks up at Kyungsoo when the latter threads his fingers in Baekhyun's hair softly, thumb tracing the swell of his cheek and smiling down at him.
Perseverance, self-motivation; rinse and repeat.
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Note: Not really a military expert here. Please turn a blind eye if you happen to stumble upon any mistake(s) regarding that aspect. Thank you :)