TheTruth Hurts
Title: The Truth Hurts
Author: Kel_085
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Summary: Spoilers!!! My take on the sneak peak for this weeks episode. .
disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N Well once again its late at night and my brain wouldn’t let me sleep till I got this out. So hopefully its ok, it went a little differently than I thought it would. I may possibly continue this… actually I’ve left it open to continue this just haven’t decided if I’m going to try and do it before the episode or wait and see what happens. :P Now off to bed, 4 hours till work. Oops.
“I never understood squat about who you are, and now that I do, I don’t like it.” Callie rants and starts to walk away. Arizona stands there in shock for a few seconds. She feels like she just got slapped in the face.
Hearing Callie say what she just said made her sick to her stomach, if she didn’t think her heart could be broken more than it was, she was wrong. She snapped out of her daze quickly realizing Callie was trying to leave.
“Oh no you don’t!” Arizona yells and grabs Callie by the arm to stop her. Callie yanks her arm out of Arizona’s grip.
“Don’t touch me!” She hisses through gritted teeth. Arizona looks at the girl she loves wondering how best to approach her, how best to make her understand.
“You have no right to say that. You knew squat about me!?” She exclaims, the hurt evident in Arizona’s voice.
“The truth hurts.” Callie spits out venom etched in her voice.
Arizona visibly flinches at those words. She’s never seen Callie so angry. She looks at Callie for a second before trying again. “Do you honestly believe that, I don’t care about your happiness? That I couldn’t give a rats ass about you?” She takes a deep breath trying to control her voice. She can feel the tears coming on.
Arizona turns to look around the room seeing that a few people had spotted them and were probably listening in; she steadies herself before lowering her voice. “I love you, and you’re standing there telling me that I don’t care about you? Do you know how much that hurts me, do you care that it hurts me? Is this just some way for you to try and ‘hate my guts’ more?” Arizona asks.
Callie takes a deep breath and shakes her head, before looking straight at Arizona. “As I said, the truth hurts. I know you love me, but you obviously don’t love me enough, if you couldn’t even take the time to consider what it’d be like to have a family with me. I can at least look you in the eyes, and tell you that I tried. I tried to look at this from your point of view; I tried to do everything I could, so that I didn’t lose you. You, you didn’t try.” Callie’s voice was breaking, she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to stay strong.
“I sacrificed so much for you, I gave up my family, my trust fund, all for you, just to stay with you, and I considered giving up kids, my dream! I would’ve given you my dream Arizona! What have you given me? I feel like all I got from you was hurt.” Callie yells at her pausing for a second before continuing.
“I love you, so much that I was going to forfeit my dreams, just to stay with you. You weren’t even willing to consider it. It was your way, or the highway. So yes I’m angry, and yes I’m trying to ‘hate your guts.’ If I don’t, I’m going to cry. I watch you smile and laugh, and all I want to do is curl up and cry. I thought you were my future; you were part of my dreams, I still feel like I’ve lost part of me, part of my dream. So forgive me for being a bitch, but I need to be strong, because you are, I need to hate you, so that I don’t want you anymore. But its hard. You make it hard. You smile and all I want to do is smile, but then I remember, you’re no longer mine, your no longer mine because you never tried.” Callie’s emotions finally get the better of her; tears start to form in her eyes. She tries desperately to blink them away.
“Calliope.”
“Don’t Calliope me.” Callie begs just managing to hold her tears at bay for now.
Arizona nods her head before continuing. “You didn’t give up your family for just me. You can’t hold me responsible for that; you also did it for yourself. If you were still with Erica, you would’ve done the same thing.” Arizona explains.
“You’re wrong. I never loved Erica like I love you. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to stand up to my father, if it weren’t you. I did it, because I saw a future with you, one that I hadn’t seen with anyone before, not even George.” She says. “Am I right? Did you ever stop to consider what it’d be like?” She asks her softly.
“I made my decision over ten years ago not to have children. So no I didn’t consider it as much as you did. I thought about it, but I just went back to what I’d decided already.” She sighs.
“I get that. I do. But you didn’t have me ten years ago. You didn’t love ‘me’, ten years ago. So can’t you take the time to consider whether its possible to look forward to a future with me? To have a family with me? That’s all I’m asking for Arizona. I’m asking you to take a step back, from the life you thought you’d have, and consider what life you could have. I had to do it when I realized I liked girls. It was scary, and confusing, but I had to re-evaluate who I was, as a person, and what my future would hold for me. I’m just asking for the same respect, the same consideration.” Callie explains.
Arizona didn’t know what to say. Callie was right. She didn’t take the time to fully consider her options. “You’re right, you deserved more respect and consideration then I gave you. I should’ve sat down and talked to you properly about this, instead of arguing with you over it. I just didn’t want to give you hope and then break your heart. I didn’t want to make promises I couldn’t keep. What would’ve happened if I said yes to kids, and then when the time came I changed my mind? You would’ve resented me, hated me for it, and it would’ve been harder on us then it is now.” Arizona tells her.
Callie just shakes her head. “You didn’t even give me the chance Arizona, you just dismissed it like it was a joke. I didn’t need promises; I just needed you to understand my needs, my wants. That’s what you do when you’re in an adult relationship, you sit, you talk and you come to an understanding. You don’t dismiss the others views or dreams. I never dismissed yours, I tried to accept them, most of all I tried to understand them. But Arizona, you’re a mystery to me. I don’t know much about you, about your past, about your family, about your desires for the future. You tell me nothing. That’s why I said I didn’t understand squat about you. It never bothered me because I love you, I had you. I didn’t need to know, I accepted that, its who you are, I never pushed, because I knew you’d come to me when you were ready, or if it was necessary to.” Callie says.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I should’ve listened to you more, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was dismissing your dreams, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care about your happiness. That’s where you’re wrong, because I do. That’s why I let you go. I know it was a joint decision, but its what’s helping me keep my distance from you half the time, knowing that I’d be stopping you from having your dream. I’m not happy Callie, by far. I work around kids, I have to smile, I have to reassure them, make them feel comfortable. They are my priority when I’m at work. My own feelings aren’t. So when you see me smiling, it’s a front. Deep down, I’m broken; I’m hurting just like you. I’m sorry you think differently. I’m sorry you think I don’t care. I do. I just don’t know how to fix this.” Arizona sighed before running her hand through her hair.
“Talk it through with me?” Callie asks taking a step closer to Arizona. “Once we’re out of lock down, talk to me. We’ll sit like two mature adults and listen to each other. Try to understand each other. And then if there still isn’t a middle ground, we’ll accept this. But at least we’ll be able to say we tried. We’ll know that we didn’t just give up.” She tells Arizona.
Arizona thinks for a second. “Okay, but we need a mutual place. And if we can’t figure this out, can we at least try and be civil?” Arizona asks before continuing “Its hard enough as is, without you ‘hating my guts’” She jokes.
Callie let out a small chuckle before looking around. “I think we should really get back to moving ‘your’ sick kids to safety. I wonder whats happening out there.” Callie says.
“I don’t know, but it must be bad for us to be on lock down. I just hope everyone’s okay. We should get back to moving the kids. I also think we’ve created enough gossip and entertainment for the nurses for the next year.” She whispers.
Callie takes a look around and realizes that about half a dozen nurses were standing close by pretending to be busy. She rolls her eyes and laughs. “At least we’re hot enough to be up there on the gossip train.” Callie jokes. Arizona couldn’t help but laugh.
“Okay well I’m going to go check on my patients. I’ll call you later and we’ll work out a time that suits us both. Is that okay with you? Arizona asks.
Callie smiles at her. “That’ll be great. Page me if you need any help, I’ll be down the corridor.” She tells her before leaving.
Arizona watches her retreat before she herself leaves the corridor and the brigade of eavesdropping nurses; she knows that by the end of the day her and Callie’s argument would’ve made its way through the gossip mill.
Author: Kel_085
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG
Summary: Spoilers!!! My take on the sneak peak for this weeks episode. .
disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N Well once again its late at night and my brain wouldn’t let me sleep till I got this out. So hopefully its ok, it went a little differently than I thought it would. I may possibly continue this… actually I’ve left it open to continue this just haven’t decided if I’m going to try and do it before the episode or wait and see what happens. :P Now off to bed, 4 hours till work. Oops.
“I never understood squat about who you are, and now that I do, I don’t like it.” Callie rants and starts to walk away. Arizona stands there in shock for a few seconds. She feels like she just got slapped in the face.
Hearing Callie say what she just said made her sick to her stomach, if she didn’t think her heart could be broken more than it was, she was wrong. She snapped out of her daze quickly realizing Callie was trying to leave.
“Oh no you don’t!” Arizona yells and grabs Callie by the arm to stop her. Callie yanks her arm out of Arizona’s grip.
“Don’t touch me!” She hisses through gritted teeth. Arizona looks at the girl she loves wondering how best to approach her, how best to make her understand.
“You have no right to say that. You knew squat about me!?” She exclaims, the hurt evident in Arizona’s voice.
“The truth hurts.” Callie spits out venom etched in her voice.
Arizona visibly flinches at those words. She’s never seen Callie so angry. She looks at Callie for a second before trying again. “Do you honestly believe that, I don’t care about your happiness? That I couldn’t give a rats ass about you?” She takes a deep breath trying to control her voice. She can feel the tears coming on.
Arizona turns to look around the room seeing that a few people had spotted them and were probably listening in; she steadies herself before lowering her voice. “I love you, and you’re standing there telling me that I don’t care about you? Do you know how much that hurts me, do you care that it hurts me? Is this just some way for you to try and ‘hate my guts’ more?” Arizona asks.
Callie takes a deep breath and shakes her head, before looking straight at Arizona. “As I said, the truth hurts. I know you love me, but you obviously don’t love me enough, if you couldn’t even take the time to consider what it’d be like to have a family with me. I can at least look you in the eyes, and tell you that I tried. I tried to look at this from your point of view; I tried to do everything I could, so that I didn’t lose you. You, you didn’t try.” Callie’s voice was breaking, she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to stay strong.
“I sacrificed so much for you, I gave up my family, my trust fund, all for you, just to stay with you, and I considered giving up kids, my dream! I would’ve given you my dream Arizona! What have you given me? I feel like all I got from you was hurt.” Callie yells at her pausing for a second before continuing.
“I love you, so much that I was going to forfeit my dreams, just to stay with you. You weren’t even willing to consider it. It was your way, or the highway. So yes I’m angry, and yes I’m trying to ‘hate your guts.’ If I don’t, I’m going to cry. I watch you smile and laugh, and all I want to do is curl up and cry. I thought you were my future; you were part of my dreams, I still feel like I’ve lost part of me, part of my dream. So forgive me for being a bitch, but I need to be strong, because you are, I need to hate you, so that I don’t want you anymore. But its hard. You make it hard. You smile and all I want to do is smile, but then I remember, you’re no longer mine, your no longer mine because you never tried.” Callie’s emotions finally get the better of her; tears start to form in her eyes. She tries desperately to blink them away.
“Calliope.”
“Don’t Calliope me.” Callie begs just managing to hold her tears at bay for now.
Arizona nods her head before continuing. “You didn’t give up your family for just me. You can’t hold me responsible for that; you also did it for yourself. If you were still with Erica, you would’ve done the same thing.” Arizona explains.
“You’re wrong. I never loved Erica like I love you. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to stand up to my father, if it weren’t you. I did it, because I saw a future with you, one that I hadn’t seen with anyone before, not even George.” She says. “Am I right? Did you ever stop to consider what it’d be like?” She asks her softly.
“I made my decision over ten years ago not to have children. So no I didn’t consider it as much as you did. I thought about it, but I just went back to what I’d decided already.” She sighs.
“I get that. I do. But you didn’t have me ten years ago. You didn’t love ‘me’, ten years ago. So can’t you take the time to consider whether its possible to look forward to a future with me? To have a family with me? That’s all I’m asking for Arizona. I’m asking you to take a step back, from the life you thought you’d have, and consider what life you could have. I had to do it when I realized I liked girls. It was scary, and confusing, but I had to re-evaluate who I was, as a person, and what my future would hold for me. I’m just asking for the same respect, the same consideration.” Callie explains.
Arizona didn’t know what to say. Callie was right. She didn’t take the time to fully consider her options. “You’re right, you deserved more respect and consideration then I gave you. I should’ve sat down and talked to you properly about this, instead of arguing with you over it. I just didn’t want to give you hope and then break your heart. I didn’t want to make promises I couldn’t keep. What would’ve happened if I said yes to kids, and then when the time came I changed my mind? You would’ve resented me, hated me for it, and it would’ve been harder on us then it is now.” Arizona tells her.
Callie just shakes her head. “You didn’t even give me the chance Arizona, you just dismissed it like it was a joke. I didn’t need promises; I just needed you to understand my needs, my wants. That’s what you do when you’re in an adult relationship, you sit, you talk and you come to an understanding. You don’t dismiss the others views or dreams. I never dismissed yours, I tried to accept them, most of all I tried to understand them. But Arizona, you’re a mystery to me. I don’t know much about you, about your past, about your family, about your desires for the future. You tell me nothing. That’s why I said I didn’t understand squat about you. It never bothered me because I love you, I had you. I didn’t need to know, I accepted that, its who you are, I never pushed, because I knew you’d come to me when you were ready, or if it was necessary to.” Callie says.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I should’ve listened to you more, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was dismissing your dreams, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care about your happiness. That’s where you’re wrong, because I do. That’s why I let you go. I know it was a joint decision, but its what’s helping me keep my distance from you half the time, knowing that I’d be stopping you from having your dream. I’m not happy Callie, by far. I work around kids, I have to smile, I have to reassure them, make them feel comfortable. They are my priority when I’m at work. My own feelings aren’t. So when you see me smiling, it’s a front. Deep down, I’m broken; I’m hurting just like you. I’m sorry you think differently. I’m sorry you think I don’t care. I do. I just don’t know how to fix this.” Arizona sighed before running her hand through her hair.
“Talk it through with me?” Callie asks taking a step closer to Arizona. “Once we’re out of lock down, talk to me. We’ll sit like two mature adults and listen to each other. Try to understand each other. And then if there still isn’t a middle ground, we’ll accept this. But at least we’ll be able to say we tried. We’ll know that we didn’t just give up.” She tells Arizona.
Arizona thinks for a second. “Okay, but we need a mutual place. And if we can’t figure this out, can we at least try and be civil?” Arizona asks before continuing “Its hard enough as is, without you ‘hating my guts’” She jokes.
Callie let out a small chuckle before looking around. “I think we should really get back to moving ‘your’ sick kids to safety. I wonder whats happening out there.” Callie says.
“I don’t know, but it must be bad for us to be on lock down. I just hope everyone’s okay. We should get back to moving the kids. I also think we’ve created enough gossip and entertainment for the nurses for the next year.” She whispers.
Callie takes a look around and realizes that about half a dozen nurses were standing close by pretending to be busy. She rolls her eyes and laughs. “At least we’re hot enough to be up there on the gossip train.” Callie jokes. Arizona couldn’t help but laugh.
“Okay well I’m going to go check on my patients. I’ll call you later and we’ll work out a time that suits us both. Is that okay with you? Arizona asks.
Callie smiles at her. “That’ll be great. Page me if you need any help, I’ll be down the corridor.” She tells her before leaving.
Arizona watches her retreat before she herself leaves the corridor and the brigade of eavesdropping nurses; she knows that by the end of the day her and Callie’s argument would’ve made its way through the gossip mill.