spanish christmas music, angst!

[kel_totherescue]

can you say what you want?
can you say what you want to be?

i almost cried today at 1:30. we were talking about life and tomistic theory and existentialism and trying so hard to be deep. and i felt kind of crushed by these big big theories and little standardized testing me. and when kimball was talking about how no one will know us in 50 years, or

Comments

You aren't alone, I promise.

[boocookie]

Every year since The Stranger, I am so scared that I'll grow up and amount to nothing (or at least nothing that I wanted), scared that everything around me truly is meaningless. Existentialism has a funny way of screwing with one's head like that. I think it's human nature in general to want to be remembered; hell, certain cultures (hey Beowulf) revolved around cementing places in history and folklore. But think, though: maybe one out of every hundred thousand people is put down in a history book, and half of those few are remembered only for the really bad things they did during their lifetime. That's not fun.

I totally know where you're coming from, though; I want to have an impact. I want to make people remember me. It's like the bane of the the intelligent kid: we have the potential, so everyone expects us to make a huge impact, even if most of us won't make a ginormous one. (Another human-nature thing: we completely ignore the "usually" and focus only on the "very occasionally.") Smart people also have egos, and egos have a hard

Re: You aren't alone, I promise.

[kel_totherescue]

thank you for that. thoughtful!
whenever i have free time, i think too much. that's the issue. i'm 16 and i should just relax.
but i'm glad you know what i mean. this was like a sigh of relief.

[awe_kward]

whadja get?!

[kel_totherescue]

...240..! nerd camp, be proud.

[awe_kward]

you asshole! good job!!!! crazy.

[fro_forwhatitis]

Well I'm not paying for your tuition -- and I sure as hell didn't expect you to get perfect.

So go kelly. get downnn.