i just spent over an hour writing a very emotional journal entry...and i go to update the damn thing and it fucks up. now noone will know my inner turmoil. i suppose it may be better off that way

woo hoo! yes...things are good. i'm glad she told me. it tells me a lot. it shows that i am worth that risk to her. that we will grow closer. things are going really well. tomorrow i start my new job...the job i've been waiting for for...2 fucking years. soon, i will have my weekends off... i am definitely nervous about starting my new job ( Read more... )

here i go again...feeling shitty about the same old thing. the job thing. i feel so many negative things...i feel like somehow it must be my fault. i feel like i must be responsible. the last few months things have been going really well...and then they are stirred up again. what it must me like to have stability. i worked sooo hard for soo ( Read more... )

one of the hardest things for me to deal with is relinquishing control...all of the unknowns out there...all of the things that affect me, but that i have no power over...what others think...how others feel about me...the unknown future. sometimes i want so badly to know what's going to happen in my future...when will i get what i'm looking for? ( Read more... )