An old friend of mine, who has since moved to California, has bipolar disorder. She would be giddy and funny at school, and exceedingly depressed and low at home. She's attempted suicide a number of times and is constantly on medication. I think she's doing okay now, or as okay as she can be I suppose.
Your description makes sense, though I imagine you really do just have to experience it to truly understand...
Thanks hon. I can understand your friend, and I didn't mean to make anyone feel...I don't know...out of the loop?
I was trying to articulate how hard it is to describe, because mania isn't a drug, and therefore, you can't just take it and be like "Oh! I know what you see in this!"
My ex-fiancee was bipolar (and also cut and burned), and said pretty much verbatim what you did throughout much of this entry -- about it being better than any drug out there, about feeling beautiful and immortal and able to do anything, about the phases of extreme productivity. I witnessed a lot of it during our time together and while I tried to understand as best I could, you're right, someone on the outside of it will never fully comprehend.
I'm not sure why I'm typing this, except to say that I hope you know there are a lot of us who, even if we don't understand it, know that you're not a drug addict, an attention whore, a freak or anything else with a negative connotation. You don't know me and we're not even really close through LJ, but I do read and I do care and wish you the best, so that's why I'm commenting here.
Men can be notoriously bad about things like that. For me, it got progessively worse until I was put in a psych ward, because my medication needed to be stabilized immediately. As in yesterday.
And you're right, he knew nothing about the illness. (I was also a bit pissed off when I wrote this, but I'm of the "my journal, my writing" idea.)
Thank you for the support; I appreciate the clinical look as much as the personal one.
there is nothing more incredibly addictive than the feeling you get when you're manic.
i'm a sufferer of depression mostly, but there are enough flashes of mania that i keep wanting to take more and more medication to give me the same feeling but it doesn't.
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Your description makes sense, though I imagine you really do just have to experience it to truly understand...
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I was trying to articulate how hard it is to describe, because mania isn't a drug, and therefore, you can't just take it and be like "Oh! I know what you see in this!"
*hugs* Hope you're doing well!
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I'm not sure why I'm typing this, except to say that I hope you know there are a lot of us who, even if we don't understand it, know that you're not a drug addict, an attention whore, a freak or anything else with a negative connotation. You don't know me and we're not even really close through LJ, but I do read and I do care and wish you the best, so that's why I'm commenting here.
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And you're right, he knew nothing about the illness. (I was also a bit pissed off when I wrote this, but I'm of the "my journal, my writing" idea.)
Thank you for the support; I appreciate the clinical look as much as the personal one.
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i'm a sufferer of depression mostly, but there are enough flashes of mania that i keep wanting to take more and more medication to give me the same feeling but it doesn't.
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i was manic the day i went to the doctor and said 'fix me'. i get checked before i go into any exam room these days.
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