(no subject)
Title: Smart Went Crazy
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Addison/Callie. Friends.
Summary: Lunch conversation about screwed up love lives. Humor-ish.
Note: I wrote this in, literally, fifteen minutes. You've been warned by Quality Control. There are very vague spoilers for the Mark/Addie stuff in 3.17.
“I hate Izzie.” Callie dropped her tray on the table next to Addison and fell into a chair.
Addison blinked rapidly and looked up from her computer screen. “What?”
“She’s supposed to be my husband’s best friend. But she’s insanely in love with him and doesn’t let any opportunity to tell him that he was wrong in choosing me pass her by.” She growled in frustration and opened her can of soda. “And she’s a complete bitch every time she runs across me. She doesn’t even have to say anything, it’s that deranged Izzie Look. This weird glint in her eye like when she got the brilliant idea to cut her fiancée’s LVAD wire.”
She took a sip of her soda to calm herself down. “And I’m not sure what I ever did to her. I mean, I’m sorry Denny died and it sucks that all that happened but she’s a total freak and a lunatic. George has started standing up for me to her but it’s not doing anything. I mean, the woman ate a tub of butter. On her own. Voluntarily.”
“A full tub of butter.”
“Yes.”
Addison shut the lid of her laptop. “Not that I care, but why?”
“George moved in with me.” Callie made a face and rolled her eyes.
“My husband of eleven years left without saying a word to me and all I did was dye my hair blonde.”
“That’s because you’re sane. Well, no, because you don’t look like you’d wear blonde well -”
“I didn’t.”
“- but you did normal post love-of-your-life-leaves things. First lying on the bathroom floor for fourteen hours, now butter? Nuts.”
“I did the bathroom floor the night after Derek left. Granted, I was passed out because I drank the liquor cabinet out of scotch, but it’s more normal than the butter thing.”
“Scotch?”
“Derek’s drink of choice. I wanted it gone.”
“Alright. Your turn.”
Addison took a deep breath. “The man I thought was the love of my life is now deeply in love with Meredith and I’m probably unfairly jealous of the way he looks at her. The man who does look at me like that is forced into celibacy by me under promise that if he makes it two months I’ll try the couple thing with him again. But he told me I can’t have sex either, which is a problem because all I’ve wanted to do for the last month and a half is have a lot of fantastic sex with Karev.”
“How much do you want the thing with Mark?”
“I don’t know. The prospect of being in a relationship is appealing and if it hadn’t been so messed up in New York it might’ve worked. But I don’t want the other guy to get away simply because I’m waiting to see if something might work out.” She pouted. “And he’s Mark. He’ll find out.”
Callie sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “You’re playing a no-win game of Maybe; I’m tormented by a girl who eats butter. We’re supposed to be smart, how’d we get here?”
“Because someone decided to play a cosmic joke on anyone who wants to save lives and doesn’t let us have our own. Which I guess is somewhat okay, because if we don’t have lives they can’t fall apart.”
“But if they can’t fall apart, there’s no reason to put them back together again and then no reason to find someone to do it.”
“Exactly.”
“We’re fucked.”
“Hey, you’ve got a ring.”
“With iron shackles attached.”
“It’s still a ring and he’s still a husband.”
“Did Mark ever say that if you had sex with someone the deal was off?”
Addison thought for a second. “No, actually. I told him to go sixty days; he just said that if he wasn’t getting any, then I shouldn’t. Nothing technically, but it was implied.”
“Then go screw Karev. It’s not like he’s gonna tell.”
“Oh, bad influence.” Addison crumpled up her napkin and threw it at Callie.
“Oh, you are so totally going to do it.”
“I am not.”
“Lines of deliciousness, Addison, lines. Many of them. Thick ones. Oh, look. There’s Mark, wipe the pre-glow look off your face.”
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Addison/Callie. Friends.
Summary: Lunch conversation about screwed up love lives. Humor-ish.
Note: I wrote this in, literally, fifteen minutes. You've been warned by Quality Control. There are very vague spoilers for the Mark/Addie stuff in 3.17.
“I hate Izzie.” Callie dropped her tray on the table next to Addison and fell into a chair.
Addison blinked rapidly and looked up from her computer screen. “What?”
“She’s supposed to be my husband’s best friend. But she’s insanely in love with him and doesn’t let any opportunity to tell him that he was wrong in choosing me pass her by.” She growled in frustration and opened her can of soda. “And she’s a complete bitch every time she runs across me. She doesn’t even have to say anything, it’s that deranged Izzie Look. This weird glint in her eye like when she got the brilliant idea to cut her fiancée’s LVAD wire.”
She took a sip of her soda to calm herself down. “And I’m not sure what I ever did to her. I mean, I’m sorry Denny died and it sucks that all that happened but she’s a total freak and a lunatic. George has started standing up for me to her but it’s not doing anything. I mean, the woman ate a tub of butter. On her own. Voluntarily.”
“A full tub of butter.”
“Yes.”
Addison shut the lid of her laptop. “Not that I care, but why?”
“George moved in with me.” Callie made a face and rolled her eyes.
“My husband of eleven years left without saying a word to me and all I did was dye my hair blonde.”
“That’s because you’re sane. Well, no, because you don’t look like you’d wear blonde well -”
“I didn’t.”
“- but you did normal post love-of-your-life-leaves things. First lying on the bathroom floor for fourteen hours, now butter? Nuts.”
“I did the bathroom floor the night after Derek left. Granted, I was passed out because I drank the liquor cabinet out of scotch, but it’s more normal than the butter thing.”
“Scotch?”
“Derek’s drink of choice. I wanted it gone.”
“Alright. Your turn.”
Addison took a deep breath. “The man I thought was the love of my life is now deeply in love with Meredith and I’m probably unfairly jealous of the way he looks at her. The man who does look at me like that is forced into celibacy by me under promise that if he makes it two months I’ll try the couple thing with him again. But he told me I can’t have sex either, which is a problem because all I’ve wanted to do for the last month and a half is have a lot of fantastic sex with Karev.”
“How much do you want the thing with Mark?”
“I don’t know. The prospect of being in a relationship is appealing and if it hadn’t been so messed up in New York it might’ve worked. But I don’t want the other guy to get away simply because I’m waiting to see if something might work out.” She pouted. “And he’s Mark. He’ll find out.”
Callie sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “You’re playing a no-win game of Maybe; I’m tormented by a girl who eats butter. We’re supposed to be smart, how’d we get here?”
“Because someone decided to play a cosmic joke on anyone who wants to save lives and doesn’t let us have our own. Which I guess is somewhat okay, because if we don’t have lives they can’t fall apart.”
“But if they can’t fall apart, there’s no reason to put them back together again and then no reason to find someone to do it.”
“Exactly.”
“We’re fucked.”
“Hey, you’ve got a ring.”
“With iron shackles attached.”
“It’s still a ring and he’s still a husband.”
“Did Mark ever say that if you had sex with someone the deal was off?”
Addison thought for a second. “No, actually. I told him to go sixty days; he just said that if he wasn’t getting any, then I shouldn’t. Nothing technically, but it was implied.”
“Then go screw Karev. It’s not like he’s gonna tell.”
“Oh, bad influence.” Addison crumpled up her napkin and threw it at Callie.
“Oh, you are so totally going to do it.”
“I am not.”
“Lines of deliciousness, Addison, lines. Many of them. Thick ones. Oh, look. There’s Mark, wipe the pre-glow look off your face.”