The smell hits him as soon as he steps foot inside SHIELD headquarters.
Tony feels the hair at his nape stir and the urge to peel his lips back and growl. His steps falter because it's so strong which means there's more than one and that's just insanity. Tony's used to being the only wolf in a ten mile radius because his scent drives others off.
"You've gotta be kidding me," he snaps at an unaffected Fury beside him. "This wasn't-"
"This was part of the deal. I explained that."
"Well, you didn't explain properly."
"Is it my fault you were checking your email and surfing furry sites during the briefing?" Fury asks.
"I like to multitask," Tony says with a roll of his shoulders. The smell is making his skin prickle uncomfortably, giving him flight or fight impulses that are hard to ignore. He brushes a hand down his suit jacket, trying to look as unruffled as possible. He doesn't want to give Fury the satisfaction of seeing him sweat.
"Which is unfortunate because you can only actually concentrate on one thing at a time," Fury says dryly and Tony offers an unimpressed huff.
Fury leads him with a hand hovering at his back but not actually connecting into a large conference room. The smell increases, becomes almost too much to handle because it’s concentrated. The air scrubbers don't do enough to dispel it and Tony feels his skin actually twitch with the need to shift.
He looks over the occupants of the room quickly, dismissing a man and woman already in SHIELD uniform but scents toned down because they must be on blockers and another human in a suit not quite as nice as his but close. His focus narrows on the most mild-looking man in the room who's backed himself into a corner and has on an honest-to-god tweed jacket with elbow patches.
"Now I know you're joking," Tony scoffs and Fury narrows his one good eye at Tony. "I mean c'mon, a berserker, really?" Tony feels a little warmer towards the two agents when they look surprised and wary, shuffling closer together and further away from the guy in the corner.
"Doctor Banner is-"
"If you're about to tell me he's fine and he has it under control, you can just stop right there," Tony cuts off the un-introduced man with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"What Agent Coulson was going to say-" Fury tries but Tony just rolls his eyes and sits, throwing his legs up on the long meeting table.
"Let me guess, he was going to say that, Banner is it?" Tony says, raises his eyebrows at the guy who looks startled to be addressed but nods quickly. "He was going to say that Banner's on blockers, I can smell it. Doesn't make a difference."
"It really doesn't." Tony turns to see another man enter the room. He's tall, blond and broad shouldered. He looks infuriatingly familiar to Tony but he can't quite place him. "He'll burn straight through the blockers the first time he's even a little stressed."
"Captain Rogers, he's going to be field tested like everyone. If there's a problem, we'll find it there," Fury says.
"Um, I'm happy to sit out... of everything," Banner offers with a tentative raise of his hand. Tony feels a little bad for the guy, it's not his fault he can't control his shifting, just a roll of the dice that could happen to anyone.
Then the name Rogers filters through to Tony and he knows exactly who the latecomer is.
"Captain America, really?" Tony says and Steve Rogers winces at the edge to Tony's tone.
"Mr. Stark, I knew your father," Steve says by way of greeting, approaches and holds out a hand to Tony, who looks at it incredulously and then back at Steve's face, unsure the guy is even real.
"Yeah, so did I. That's not really a redeeming quality," he says and Steve drops his hand, face hardening.
"It would be better if we could be civil since we're going to be working together," Steve says, jaw going tight on the word civil.
"I'm not working with you," Tony scoffs.
"If you don't want to be collared and pinned, yes you are," Fury says and Tony rounds on him. He feels Steve grab for his arm, probably because he can feel the aggression coming off Tony in waves and they're in a closed room with humans.
That doesn't matter because Tony sees red.
He's shifting before he can stop himself, wonders if maybe this is what a berserker feels like every time. Halfway through the change, Tony feels something land on his back, there's a sharp pain in his neck and then there's nothing.
*
"I can't tell you how many laws you broke dosing me against my will," Tony says. He's cradling his head in his hands, the effects of the suppressant leaving him feeling like he has the worst kind of hangover. "My lawyer will be able to though."
"You were shifting in a room with humans. It was justified."
Tony glares at Fury's shoes because his head feels too heavy to lift."You keep telling yourself and my three thousand dollar an hour guy that," Tony says. He uses a hand to push his head up so he can see Fury's face. "You ever read the Lycan Bill of Rights?"
"Have you?"
Tony snorts and accepts the glass of water Fury holds out to him. "Yeah, alright so it's pretty dry, but I'm sure there's a bunch of it you just violated."
"You can sue me," Fury huffs.
"Wasn't that exactly what I was saying?"
"Look, you can make this hard or harder. You were an unregistered-"
"Let me take this opportunity to thank you for sicking a sniffer dog on me," Tony spits.
"You were an unregistered lycan. You like parroting the lycan laws at me so much, you tell me where you're supposed to be right now instead of here?"
Tony's back to glaring at Fury's shoes, but mostly because even though they went about it in a dickhead way, he's right. Tony should be cooling his heels in a cell instead of being offered an out. He doesn't have to be gracious about it though and he also doesn't have to like being backed into a corner. "So, we had an agreement," Tony finally relents. He wants to roll his eyes but he doesn't because he's pretty sure the headache he's nursing won't stand for that.
"We're dealing with multiple reality tears and it's not just in backwater, no population truck stops anymore. These things are cropping up in metropolitan areas with a lot of civilians and the stuff these tears spew out would make monsters from your worst nightmares look like fluffy kittens and bunnies."
"I've seen the news."
"What you don’t know is that we're starting to lose. Our people are getting thinner on the ground and we really need an edge here. You'll be part of a team, sent to the worst affected areas-"
"Is the team part mandatory?" Tony interrupts making air quotes around the word team and watches Fury's good eye narrow at him.
"If you want to survive more than a week, yes."
"I can handle myself."
"I don't doubt that," Fury says. "Still, as hard as it is to believe, I would rather not see you left as a bloody smear on the eleven o'clock news."
"Alright. So, just call me when you need me then," Tony says, risks standing and smiles gamely when he makes it to his feet without incident.
"Not so fast, you know better than I do wolves work more cohesively when they're a pack."
"We can all get matching friendship bracelets later," Tony says, derision thick in his voice.
"There's an easy way to force a pack bond," Fury says, gaze unwavering and Tony just stares at him for a moment, before he gets what Fury's alluding to.
"Screw you, no way am I having a bunch of strange mutts in my house," Tony growls. The affects of the dose he was hit with linger, tamp the anger down he knows he should be feeling. It's there, just far off and Tony's used to being able to tap into it whenever he wants, doesn't like feeling so... muted.
"You forfeited any and all property the minute you broke the law," Fury says. He's smiling, knows he has Tony by the balls. "Technically it's not your house any more. I'm only letting you stay there because it's becoming team headquarters."
"I'll burn it to the ground-"
"No you won't," Fury says. "I know you need to yell and posture and I'm happy for you to do that until you exhaust yourself. Or, you could just accept that this is happening. I haven't told anyone why you're giving up your place, you can pretend you did it out of the goodness of your heart."
"Fine, I'll take the cute little brother and sister act and I'll even take the berserker. I'm not having Rogers there."
"Why not?" Fury asks. Tony's satisfied to see that this surprises him. "He's one of you-"
"He's not," Tony snaps. "He's a lab experiment."
"He volunteered. He wanted to do right by his country."
"I've heard the party line, thanks. My dad sang it better than you ever could."
"You take Rogers too, that it not negotiable. Otherwise you can rot in a state-funded lycan prison for all I care and I'll find a replacement for you."
"There's no replacing me," Tony scoffs and Fury shakes his head.
"You're not that special, Stark. I'm not one of your groupies who'll tell you different. I know your spouting lycan rights in here, but there's a reason you've kept your status hidden isn't there?"
"Are you really threatening to out me?" Tony asks, eyes narrowed.
"I'm promising it. I know your expensive little lawyer will pry you out of prison but can he do it faster than a news cycle?"
*
The twin agents beat him back to his place. Tony finds them already ensconced in his sunken living room. The woman is curled up on the couch with a thick book on her lap and the man has rooted Tony's Wii console out from somewhere.
"No, go ahead, make yourselves at home," Tony grumbles and the guy says, "Yeah, way ahead of you," without looking away from the game he's playing. Tony steps down into the space, meaning to make it clear just what areas of the house they're actually allowed in, and they don't include any living spaces he actually uses when he notices what the guy is playing.
"Are you on level sixteen?" he demands. It's a game he designed himself because everything else was ludicrously easy. When the guy doesn't bother answering but Tony recognizes the level anyway, he narrows his eyes. "It's nearly impossible to get past level twelve."
"That's the magic word, nearly,” the guy huffs, sounding annoyingly smug.
"You cracked the back door?" Tony asks, because maybe the guy's just cheating, nice and traditional.
"No."
"How long have you been playing?"
"Forty eight minutes."
"You can't make it to level sixteen in forty eight minutes," Tony says.
"I don't believe in the word can't."
"You're cheating somehow," Tony insists, picks up the second controller and joins. The guy looks sideways at him when the game pauses to load the second player.
"C'mon, you're breaking my rhythm," he complains.
"You're in my house," Tony reminds him.
"Point," the guy allows.
"So, what am I supposed to call you guys?" Tony asks as his avatar appears onscreen. "Do you have names or do I just refer to you as Agent Dog and Agent Bi-" Tony's self-preservation instincts are fantastic and they stop him from finishing what he was going to say when he feels the heel of a boot in the back of his knee, pressing gently.
"Nat doesn't like the B-word," the guy says. Tony nods but the pressure only disappears when he adds, "Duly noted."
"I'm Clint Barton and that's Natasha Romanov."
"Not related then?" Tony asks. "That's too bad because I had a whole kinky twin scenario worked out in my brain." Clint's distracted by that for the crucial three seconds it takes for Tony to blow his character's head off.
"Oh wow, sneaky," Clint says, grudging admiration in his tone. Tony just smirks and tosses his controller aside. When Clint sees the game flip back to level one he thunks his own controller against his temple. "Oh man, not cool."
"Save points are for the weak," Tony says, deciding he's willing to let at least Clint and Natasha have a little leeway in the living space department. Barton amuses him and he's pretty sure Natasha will be able to kill him without breaking a sweat or her concentration on a book apparently. That's the biggest problem with blockers, you can't smell an attack before it happens.
"Um, hi." The nervous guy in the tweed is hovering in the doorway, a suitcase held stiffly by his side and a wary expression on his face.
"Doctor Banner," Tony greets brightly, making the guy flinch with his enthusiasm. "Let me show you to the bedroom furthest away from mine."
"That's fair," Banner says glumly as he trails Tony. Tony smiles to himself when he hears Clint curse behind them.
*
"He had a government override," JARVIS says when Tony watches Steve Rogers enter his house an hour later. He's watching from the security feeds in his workshop, had been greatly amused at the idea of leaving Steve on his doorstep for a few hours cooling his heels.
"I thought I designed you better than that," Tony grumbles, pushing his goggles up onto the top of his head and swiping at grease-streaked hands with a rag. "Wow, that guy picked an era and really committed," Tony adds as he watches Steve in the entryway, looking unsure for the first time but dapper while doing it. He cocks his head as if listening to something for a second and then speaks, looking around like he knows he's being watched.
"Jarvis!" Tony snaps, because it's obvious that JARVIS is the one Steve is speaking to. He suddenly disappears off camera with purpose in his gait.
"I'm not programmed to be rude, sir," JARVIS says. "That would be you."
Tony hears footsteps on the stairs leading down to his workshop. "Did you tell him where I was?"
"He asked, sir," JARVIS says, infuriatingly guileless.
"I'm going to replace you," Tony threatens.
"With what, sir?"
"The toaster. Maybe the toaster won't ruin my life."
"Mr. Stark?" Steve calls from the doorway. Tony whips his goggles off and tosses them across the room. Steve is standing with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder and a come in peace look on his face.
Tony's inexplicably infuriated by it all.
"I see you found your way here," Tony says.
"Um, there was a SHIELD driver and a GPS," Steve says, obviously missing the sarcasm. "Plus, not too many mansions embedded in the sides of mountains around here so it's a little hard to miss."
"You don't drive?"
"Just motorcycles," Steve says, eyes straying to the corner of the garage attached to the workshop and Tony's three bikes covetously. "Apparently SHIELD's insurance doesn't cover the way I ride them."
Tony wants to dislike this man. He'd grown up in Captain America's shadow, articles and charts, memorabilia and movie reels dominating his formative years. He'd been told that Howard had changed after Steve disappeared. He's always blamed Steve in part that he hadn't ended up with the father he should've. He'd instead had a haunted shell, obsessed and impatient.
He'd also blamed Steve for his mother never...
"-take whatever. I'm pretty used to close quarters," Steve is saying and Tony blinks.
"What?"
"A room?" Steve repeats and Tony sighs, is going to draw the line at playing concierge.
"Just pick one that doesn't look lived in," he snaps.
"I'm suspecting I might end up in yours accidentally if that’s the only caveat," Steve observes, gaze taking in the leather couch with a pillow and blanket thrown on it pushed off to the side, piles of Chinese takeout cartons and empty coffee mugs strewn about.
"Try not to do that," Tony grits out between clenched teeth. Something about Steve puts him on edge and it's not even the history of him. "Jarvis'll point you in the right direction."
"The disembodied voice?" Steve asks, shuffling a little, looking uncomfortable.
"He's not a poltergeist, he's just an AI."
"Right," Steve says, not looking appeased. "Look, we have to be back at-"
"If you're about to try and tell me my schedule, I already have someone for that," Tony interrupts, holding up an impatient hand. "She’s a pretty awesome red head that will kick your ass if you start trying to do her job."
"I wasn't-"
"We're not buddies," Tony says flatly.
"I'm sorry?" Steve says, looking satisfyingly surprised.
"As soon as I can figure out how to get my balls out of Fury's vice I'm out. I just wanted to put that out there before you started trying to do whatever it is you're doing right now."
"I wasn't trying to do anything," Steve says.
"Just keep on keeping on then," Tony says, offers Steve a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "You're living in my house temporarily but the good thing is that it's big enough that we don't have to run into each other, at all."
"We're going to have to-"
"At SHIELD, sure," Tony interrupts, doesn't offer Steve anything else except a stare.
Steve fidgets for a moment before he says, "I should just-"
"You do that," Tony says.
When Steve's retreated, JARVIS says, "Sir-"
"Toaster!" Tony snarls and JARVIS takes the hint.
*
"Who the hell is that?" Tony had shocked the crap out of Coulson by turning up earlier than he was supposed to. He figures it’s the only way he’s going to get out of commuting with the rest of his new housemates. Happy had only been too pleased to duck out early since Natasha scared the hell out of him.
Plus, shocking Coulson. The guy seems to be the kind who prides himself on being unflappable and Tony likes having him on the back foot..
Tony is looking down at the training room that currently contains an extremely large guy with an even bigger hammer smashing the shit out of equipment that's meant to withstand the power of lycans. He looks like a kid stomping sandcastles, and is completely jazzed about it.
"That's Thor," Coulson says, returned back to his bland flat line after getting over his initial shock. "He's the one good thing that's fallen out of the reality tear and he appears amenable to helping us."
"He appears amenable to squishing things," Tony observes.
"He's really just a big sweet marshmallow under all the gleeful destruction," a woman says from behind them and Tony turns to see two dark-haired girls, one younger than the other.
"Doctor Jane Foster," Coulson introduces the girl who spoke. "She's studying the anomalies, trying to find a way to predict or close them." Coulson's attention passes to the other girl. "And Darcy Lewis, her..."
"Gal Friday," Darcy supplies when Coulson seems to flounder at how to describe her.
"How's it going with the predicting and the closing?" Tony asks.
"About as well as can be expected when SHIELD confiscated all my equipment."
"Hostage to The Man," Tony says. "I can relate."
"Everything was returned to you," Coulson interjects, looking pained and like it’s something he’s had to repeat quite a few times.
"Your goon squad wasn't exactly handling it all with kit gloves," Darcy interjects. "And I have not seen my IPod since you took everything. Some faceless SHIELD guy is getting down to my tunes."
"Miss Lewis-" Coulson starts and Tony takes the opportunity to slip away, pulls his hand tablet from his pocket and makes for Fury's offices. These people have honest to god hard copies of all their files and all he needs to do is track down-
"Going somewhere?"
Tony does not let out a girlish scream when he feels Natasha's hand slip into the crook of his arm and forcibly turn him around. "It's just creepy that you don't smell like anything," Tony complains.
"It's one of the reasons I take the blockers," Natasha says.
"How'd you get to be a government drone anyway?"
"Are we doing small talk now?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.
"God no," Tony says as she moves her hand from his elbow to the small of his back, propelling him towards the training rooms. They collect Clint on the way, who smirks and offers a little salute when Tony grimaces at him. "Is she always this much fun?"
"Nat grows on yo-ow!" Clint skips sideways, cradling his ribs and Tony can't help the laugh that escapes. He didn't even see Natasha move and he has to admit that was pretty badass. He sees one corner of her lips curl upwards just the tiniest bit.
"We're late," she says. "Honestly it's like herding cats."
*Tony likes Thor immediately and apparently for once in his life the feeling’s mutual.
"My people once fought alongside the mighty Garou who would shed forged armor for scale and claw. I would very much like to see your warrior form."
"Warrior form, I like it," Tony says.
"Only Tony can change," Clint interjects. "Nat and I are on..." he flails for a second, probably unsure about whether a guy that dropped through a rip in the space-time continuum or whatever would get the concept of drugs. "We just don't."
"You deny yourselves?" Thor asks before he nods, looking impressed. "That is also a warrior's way."
"I would show you big guy, but the last time I... warriored I got a time-out and a hangover." Tony cuts in but Thor only looks confused. Natasha's shaking her head.
"You're allowed in the training room," she says. "We need to learn to work together and you're most effective shifted."
"I'm not exactly the puniest human," Tony says and Natasha rolls her eyes, decides to forgo argument for violence, which results in Tony flat on his back without really knowing how he got there. "Um, ow," he says, or more accurately wheezes while he waits for his lungs to re-inflate.
"Come Tony, show us what you have," Thor entreats, spinning his giant hammer like it's a toy.
"Awesome," Clint enthuses, unslinging a bow from his back and bouncing lightly on his toes. Who the hell are these people?
"No shooting me in the ass," Tony warns and Clint looks disappointed enough that he knows that's exactly what Clint was planning to do.
"Are you really that precious?" Clint complains when Tony starts to strip out of his clothes.
"This is Armani," Tony says with his own eye roll. "You don't shift through Armani."
It's hard shifting when you're not provoked. Tony knows some lycans can't manage it, can't get it going without being scared or excited. He breathes deeply, doesn't think about being in the middle of a SHIELD training room in nothing but his shorts and just wills. Adrenalin spikes, his heart rate sky rockets and Tony feels the moment everything gets denser and tighter, preparing for the change.
It hurts at first, like a son of a bitch, right up until there's enough adrenalin dumping through his system to override any pain signals. Bone re-knits along his skull and spinal column, the torso elongates and the pelvis and shoulders expand. Tony loses awareness for a few precious seconds, trying to shift consciously instead of re-actively is always slower and takes more concentration. Tony shakes out his muzzle when he feels the last joints re-lock into place and before he's even gotten his bearings properly, a hammer is swinging at his jaw.
It's like that, is it, he thinks as he ducks and snaps.
*
Tony's lying on his back on his workshop floor when Pepper's face appears in his line of sight. "What are you doing?" she asks. He’s getting worried about the amount of time he’s spending knocked on his ass as a result of his deal with SHIELD.
"Trying to re-align my spine," Tony says. He's pretty sure he has a hammer-shaped dent in it. "Can you actually feel it if your internal organs are bruised?"
"Is there something you neglected to tell me?" Pepper asks after glaring at him for a few moments. Tony knows he should probably be upright for this conversation because it sounds serious, but he can't quite manage it. Clint didn't shoot him in the ass, but he did shoot him through the ear which hurt enough.
Clint had been unapologetic, had even offered to track down a giant novelty pirate earring for the hole. He'd said something about Tony looking jaunty right before Tony had managed to bite him on the ankle and push him off a platform.
"Any number of things at any given time," Tony says, not wanting to fall into the trap of lying to Pepper, even if he has no idea what she's getting at. "You keep telling me that there's stuff you don't want to know so I lose track."
"Tony, there are things I don't want to know, there's things you shouldn't be admitting to anyone and then there's the stuff that you should track me down for immediately."
"So we’re talking about an immediately, right?"
"I think the fact that you've started some kind of lycan hostel, yes."
"Ah," Tony says. He supposes it was probably wishful thinking that Pepper wouldn't notice the SHIELD agents that have invaded his house. He just hopes that she hasn't run into Thor because that is going to take some explaining.
Thor wasn't a requirement of Fury's, Tony had just invited him because he can imagine that Thor and Bruce in the one house are going to be endlessly entertaining and possibly destructive, plus Fury had looked like he was going to have a stroke.
"Would you believe that there's a good explanation?"
"There always is," Pepper says, flipping her hands to illustrate her exasperation. She holds one out, waggles her fingers when Tony doesn't move. He eventually takes it, lets her yank him upright with a groan.
He's getting too old for this shit.
When Pepper's look becomes pointed, Tony holds his own hands out. "I can't actually tell you what it is."
"Tony!"
"I swear, I would if I could."
"I don't think you appreciate how hard it is for me to hold your life and reputation together when you’re so bent on destroying them," Pepper says, exasperated. "You swan about with no idea the fires I have to put out in your wake, the rumors I have to quash, how much silence I have to wrangle."
"There's an angry point to all this, right?"
"You're single-handedly going to undo it all by having a bunch of lycans lounging around the house." Pepper's voice goes shrill at the end of her tirade and Tony winces.
"It really wasn't my idea," he says. "There was a rock and a jail place kind of situation."
"A what?"
"It's fine, I'm okay. I just had to make some concessions to keep myself out of the pokey."
"Tell me you're joking!"
"Wait," Tony says, something Pepper said filtering through to him. "How did you know?"
"It was a bit hard to miss the people milling about the house, especially the woman with all the knives."
"No," Tony says, slowly. "How did you know they were lycan?"
High spots of color appear on Pepper's face and she ducks her head, a clear sign that she's about to lie. Tony's only ever see her do it with other people, often on his behalf so it's a little jarring to see her do it now.
"Pep," he says gently before she can even start. "Are you a Carrier?"
"I don't see why that's any of your concern," Pepper says, trying not to sound flustered when she clearly is.
"It's not... it doesn't bother me," Tony says gently, shaking his head. "I'm just a little confused. You have One-H on your records."
"You're going to judge me for falsifying documents?" Pepper asks, raising an eyebrow. "After everything you’ve-"
"Pepper, we're not talking about me here for once, shocking I know. I have a lot of money, a bunch of people that owe me favors or would love for me to owe them some and when a government agency found out about me, I got offered a job." Pepper blinks at that and Tony makes a what can you do gesture with his hands. "Don't get me wrong, I'm astounded and a little turned on by the idea of you sticking it to the man but it's fraud, the kind they throw you in the big prison for."
"No one knows," Pepper says, voice small and just a touch frightened.
"What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't," Pepper says, slumping. "I was young and stupid and angry. I would’ve had to register to date, to get married, to have children. I couldn't abide it." Pepper chews on her lower lip, looks at Tony from underneath her lashes. "By the time I realized what a monumentally bad idea it was, it was already too late. I can't take it back now without raising some serious flags."
"I'll fix it," Tony says and Pepper rolls her eyes, hugs her arms around her chest.
"Tony-"
"I'm not a good guy," Tony says, holds up his hand when Pepper opens her mouth to argue. "But I'm good at this."
*
It's strange having people in his kitchen, in his space. It doesn't help that two of the five invaders have tamped down scents and a yen for being stealthy so Tony's not always aware they're around. Case in point, he manages to spill coffee over his hand when Clint leans around him to snag the Captain Crunch off the counter.
"Sorry," Clint grunts, like Tony isn't aware that he does it on purpose, likes making people jump. Tony grabs the rare opportunity to have one of the wonder twins so close and darts in to sniff at Clint's neck to try and get a proper read on the guy.
Clint ducks away scowling and Tony really didn't expect what he got a nose full of.
"Oh my god, really?" he huffs, delighted at the way Clint is now furiously blushing.
"Shut up," Clint grumbles, making a big show of getting a cereal bowl out of the cupboard and hunting for a spoon.
"No, honestly, that's why?" he presses.
"Why what?" Natasha asks, successfully being the second person to sneak up on him that morning but Tony isn't too worried about that anymore.
"I thought the blockers were just a SHIELD requirement or something," Tony says, watching scarlet flood down Clint's neck and curl over his ears.
"They aren't," Natasha says. "We've just got skills better utilized when we're not all...what?" Natasha demands, eyes flicking between Tony and Clint, sensing she’s missed something.
"Smell Clint," Tony invites and Clint smacks the cereal box down, his shoulders coming up. "I think Clint has a different reason for taking them."
Natasha just blinks at them for a moment before a slow, understanding smile crosses her face. "Oh, no way," she says, looking more gleeful than Tony's ever seen her.
"How about you both go to hell?" Clint snaps but it's embarrassed instead of angry.
"I get why you would want to hide it," Tony muses, rubbing his chin. "Plus you don't exactly want to make a guy like Coulson into a chew toy-urk!" Tony's teasing is cut off when Clint tackles him to the kitchen floor.
Tony waits for the rage to hit him, to shift because he feels threatened but a funny thing happens.
He doesn't.
There's no aggression coming off Clint, and it's not just because the blockers are doing their job. Clint's... the closest way to describe it is playing and Tony instinctively recognizes it, curls into himself helplessly laughing when all Clint does is make sure Tony's pinned to the floor so he can rabbit punch him in the shoulder repeatedly.
"Oof!" Tony manages to get out as the rest of the wind is knocked out of him when Natasha joins the fray, landing on Clint and squishing them both flat. Tony can see her bright eyes over Clint's shoulder, full of glee and triumph.
Tony gets such a wash of packminepack that it startles him badly, makes him put hands to Clint and shove, sending Natasha and Clint off him in a tangle of limbs to crash into the nearest kitchen cupboard. He doesn't want that smarmy bastard Fury to be right; to be forced into bonding that he never asked for just by proximity alone.
Tony picks himself up, carefully doesn't look at Clint and Natasha who he knows will be confused and possibly hurt. He flees from the kitchen, knocking Bruce sideways when they both hit the doorway at the same time from opposite ends and he only dimly hears Clint yell, "No, dammit, not in the kitchen!" as he takes the stairs back down to his workshop two at a time.
Part Two