{ Alex/Richard, when you were the only thing that was real, g }
Title; When you were the only thing that was real
Pairing; Alex/Richard
Rating; g (pg at most)
Words; 2,861
Summary; A tale of Alex and Richard...
Disclaimer; I do not own them, I just like playing with them.
A/N; This is my first Alex/Richard, feedback is always greatly appreciated!
The first time she remembers seeing him, she was five years old.
She had been playing at the swings, her feet dangling in the dust and grass hanging between her toes. Her legs were covered in scratches from playing in the jungle. She wasn't allowed to go there - especially not on her own - so she was always brought back, even if she kicked and screamed. She didn't understand why the jungle kept calling - or why she wasn't allowed to go there in the first place - but it called and she was only five years old, so she listened.
She leaned back and let her long hair touch the grass, the world upside down. She saw a man coming near her, but it wasn't her dad. Nor anyone she'd seen before. She laughed at him, showing her little teeth and holding until her arms were tired and her head throbbing from the blood rushing to it. The man was just standing there, he looked funny upside down. She could tell he was smiling at her and she wondered why he waited and didn't stop her game like the others always did.
"Alex?" he asked her, when the world was normal again.
She smiled at him again. He looked like fun.
"Who are you?" she asked him instead.
"I'm Richard, Alex. I want to ask you something. Is it okay if I sit with you?"
"Will you play with me?"
His smile was nice and she let him push her on the swings. She hadn't let anyone push her before, not even when she hadn't been able to swing on her own.
At the time, she didn't even think about that. She was just a kid who wanted someone nice to play with. A kid that didn't understand why nobody else seemed to like her that much. And why she didn't seem to like the others either, no matter how hard she tried. She somehow didn't fit in, and even a five-year-old could feel something like that.
His hands felt warm on her back as she swung higher. Their joined laughter carried on the wind.
"Alex, would you like to have someone else to play with?"
"I like you," she said then, her legs still but her hair sweeping in the wind.
He smiled then, before talking again.
"I like you too, Alex. But I don't have time to play, I have work to do. I know a boy who would love to play with you, if you want to."
"Nobody likes me," she said, it sounded hard coming from someone that small, but it was the truth.
"I'm sure he'll like you, you see, nobody likes him either."
Her eyes squinted a little when he said that, a questioning look on her face. Well, if nobody did, then she would.
"What's his name?"
"Karl."
-
The first time he saw the girl, she was five years old. He didn't know how old he was, he couldn't remember, and frankly he'd never cared about it either.
It was a sight to see, someone that small and innocent and yet, she had the strangest effect upon him. He knew she was special. He also knew she was lonely. She needed someone to play with, and he'd found her the perfect friend.
He didn't know yet, the trouble that would cause as they grew older.
-
The second time she remembers seeing him, she was eight years old.
She'd been playing with Karl after having done her homework. They'd been best friends ever since that day by the swings. Her daddy seemed happy that she had a friend, but she didn't recognise yet the look in his eyes when she turned away. Fear and anger for what he thought he could see for his daughter in the future.
Alex had her hands over her eyes and stood against a tree counting down.
"Three... Two... One. Ready or not, here I come!"
When she opened her eyes and turned around, Richard was standing a few feet away.
"Hi!" she exclaimed happily. "I remember you!"
She couldn't understand why she liked him so, but even though it had been three years, she knew exactly who he was.
"Are you happy with Karl, Alex?"
She nodded fast, ran up to him and laughed as he caught her in his arms and lifted her up.
Then she ran off again, searching for Karl.
-
He went to visit Alex again, three years later. He always knew how she was doing, it was part of his job. He didn't have time to visit her often, though.
Richard Alpert was a busy man.
Keeping track of her abilities, of her progress was important, but she was still too young to be tested. He had more important things to arrange.
He wondered what she would be like when she grew older. He wondered what the tests would bring. He didn't feel guilty about her friendship with Karl being part of all that. It made her happy and that's all that mattered to her now.
-
The third time she remembers seeing him was the day she turned 11.
She was no longer her daddy's sweet little girl, who did what she was told - more or less, anyway - but she had a strong will of her own now. She knew the jungle better than any of them and that didn't make her father happy at all.
She knew she had to take some tests, her father had explained everything, even though she didn't want to, she had to.
"But why?"
"Because you are special, Alex."
She got everything she had asked for her birthday, mostly books.
Richard came to her when the sun hit the sky with her last rays. Everything was orange and red and Alex loved to see how everything changed colour, how the sun seemed to make everything so much more alive, but yet the darkness was already waiting to take over and this was not yet the part where the night became something to be scared of. Not that she was ever scared in the jungle and even at 11, she still didn't understand why. Everyone else seemed to be scared of something. She loved how the trees sometimes even seemed on fire when she sun was nearly gone.
He smiled at her when he came closer and kissed her on the cheek before handing her something neatly wrapped.
"Happy Birthday, Alex."
His smile was something she could never stop looking at, it seemed to have something more behind it.
She sat down on the cool grass and waited for him to join her. His eyes were watching her face. It lit up as if the sun caught it, even though it was below the horizon now, her eyes shining with a secret pleasure.
"It's a sling!" she smiled at him.
He nodded. "I figured you'd like it."
"Thanks, Richard."
She didn't run away now, like she had done a few years before. She sat with him until darkness fell and they talked about the tests she had to take in the following weeks. The longer Alex talked to him, the less nervous she was.
She remembers wishing she could see him more.
-
Richard had made the sling himself and when he told her, he loved the way her eyes widened and she started shooting heaps of grass to nothing - or no one - in particular.
"Dad's never gonna let me keep this," she said.
"So don't tell him. It'll be our little secret," he winked at her.
The thought of a secret, a secret she shared with him, seemed to excite her maybe as much as the sling itself. It made him smile.
He was getting too attached to this girl, he told himself, but he couldn't let it get in the way with his job. After all, he was only following the chain of command and he knew what needed to be done. And he always did it, no matter how much he liked or disliked it.
Because that's the price they had to pay for being here.
He walked away and saw her running towards her house. She would be a proper teenager soon, a rebel - as far as she hadn't always been - but also a young woman.
He knew she'd be a force to be reckoned with, when the time came.
-
The years passed and her secret wish had been granted. She saw Richard more during the weeks they tested her than she'd seen him in her life. She came to hate the tests, however, and whenever she ran or tried to sabotage, they would threaten to get Richard and she'd run the other way.
He always managed to calm her down, but as soon as they noticed she enjoyed having Richard come over, they started threatening to call Ben. And she didn't like that at all.
When the tests were done, she saw him less often, but still enough to allow her to look forward to it.
-
Richard visited Alex every week, despite his workload, despite Ben's disapproval. He didn't care what Ben thought, there was nothing he could do. He wasn't disappointed when the tests had pointed out she was special, but not in the way they had been hoping.
He took walks with her, under the sunlit trees in the jungle. He taught her things she hadn't been able to figure out by herself, answered every question she asked him. They never discussed her life, or Ben or anything to do with people, they always discussed the island and that was that. He knew there'd be a time she would start asking about him, so he didn't tell her his story, there was another time and place for that. If ever.
He promised her to take her further away one day, to teach her everything he knew, but not now. He still had work to do and she was still too young. Her eyes had sparkled when he promised her, she knew very well that he was the only one that knew this jungle better than she did.
Maybe there'd be a time she would know it better than him. He hoped so.
-
She had not forgotten what had happened, what Richard too, had done to her. Unlike 'her father', she'd forgiven Richard. There had always been something special between them, as if the island itself kept them together.
And then she turned sixteen.
She started feeling more than just that connection. She started to feel the blood rushing to her cheeks when she thought of him, something inside of her belly fluttered when he looked at her, she dreamed about him at night and she didn't seem to be able to speak very long with him, for she started to stutter after looking into his eyes too long.
His eyes were distracting. They were too deep, she always got lost and had trouble finding her way out again. That had never happened to her before. She always found her way back.
Richard always put his hand on her shoulder then, smiling at her, guiding her back out of his eyes until she felt her feet stood on solid ground again.
She was always aware of how hot she felt as she left him, the skin where he had touched her burning like fire, she could never stay after having herself caught being lost.
-
When Alex left, his mind was as calm and peaceful as ever. He knew what had just happened, he had felt Alex' heartbeat when he touched her, as if it had radiated from her skin. But he knew it was dangerous for her to wander into his eyes. He had felt her presence inside of him and knew the power that was in her too. Maybe the tests had been wrong after all. Too late to change anything now.
There would be a time when he'd let her gaze into his eyes longer, but not yet. He had a feeling that it might be sooner than he'd expected.
-
She'd started to hate her life. She had discovered years ago that Ben wasn't her real father and that's when she'd started calling him by his name. She started to discover more lies, came to hear more 'truths' and her life wasn't her life any more. She was losing pieces of herself with every other truth she discovered, scattered throughout the jungle she loved so much.
Just when she thought she couldn't take it any more and would force Ben to tell her everything he'd been keeping from her, he took Karl away. He didn't give any reason, but she knew. He felt threatened by him, she saw the fear that was in his eyes and she couldn't see any pain - or honesty - when he told her he did this for her. When she cried and the tears streamed down her face and stained her shirt and she pleaded with Ben to bring Karl back, he didn't even move.
She ran then, into the jungle. It was the only thing left that was real.
-
Richard came to find her. He found her sitting in a tree, shielded from the rain by giant leaves. He couldn't see the tears on her face, but he knew they were there. He did not feel guilty, he'd seen too much to be able to feel that, and it wasn't his fault, wasn't his problem. He came to find her, because he was the only one that could. Maybe even the only one that would.
He would have found her hours ago, but he'd decided to give her time to think. He had followed her, sometimes seeing her in the distance, running and then walking, walking and then running again. Her voice carried on the wind, broken and confused.
"Alex, is it okay if I sit with you?"
It reminded him of the first time he'd seen her.
"Go away," she yelled at him, the rain beating on the ground and drowning their voices.
He turned to leave, even though he wanted her to come with him, he wouldn't force her.
He had taken three steps when he heard her voice again.
"Richard..."
Her voice was hoarse, weak. He couldn't deny this affected him more than he'd thought.
He stopped and turned around, watched her climb down the tree and take him by the hand towards a dry spot.
"I don't want you to go. I want you to stay with me, I want you to take that walk with me that you promised me years ago."
He sighed. She was right. She was ready for it now. They waited until the rain stopped and the sun broke through the clouds again.
-
As always, after a heavy rain, the island looked like it had been reborn. Everything was beautiful and fresh, the leaves leaked drops of wet rain and the grass looked greener than before. The smell that hung in the air was something that she couldn't compare to anything she'd ever smelled before, but something she couldn't get enough of either.
She looked at Richard, smiled at him, her mind settling down from the storm that had raged in her head too. She slipped her hand into his, felt his strength and was reassured. She knew this wouldn't be easy, the island had many dangers, but she was with Richard and she felt safe.
-
When he felt her hand in his, he squeezed it gently. It would take time for her to recover from everything, before she could return and live at the barracks again. He would keep her safe until then.
-
Years later, Alex still hadn't learned everything there was to know about the island. Richard and her had walked for miles and miles, crossed the island from left to right, right to left and she had grown into the woman that she was born to be.
He let her look into his eyes now, they were still too deep and she still got lost in them, but every once in a while he'd let her wander. He'd let her in, felt her inside of him again and they were one, for he knew she could feel it too. She didn't knew her way back, because he wouldn't let her. It was part of their mystery, and Alex had come to accept that.
Alex didn't mind being lost in his eyes, it was the only place she could get lost in now. She loved being drawn into his eyes, to lose herself and surrender herself to him and feel him surrendering to her.
His arms felt warm around her when he held her at night and his body was strong against her own. His lips were soft and gentle when he kissed her, hers still young and demanding.
They both knew there would be time they'd have to return to the barracks, but that time was not now.
Richard would know when the time was right, he would feel it and Alex would feel it too.
Pairing; Alex/Richard
Rating; g (pg at most)
Words; 2,861
Summary; A tale of Alex and Richard...
Disclaimer; I do not own them, I just like playing with them.
A/N; This is my first Alex/Richard, feedback is always greatly appreciated!
The first time she remembers seeing him, she was five years old.
She had been playing at the swings, her feet dangling in the dust and grass hanging between her toes. Her legs were covered in scratches from playing in the jungle. She wasn't allowed to go there - especially not on her own - so she was always brought back, even if she kicked and screamed. She didn't understand why the jungle kept calling - or why she wasn't allowed to go there in the first place - but it called and she was only five years old, so she listened.
She leaned back and let her long hair touch the grass, the world upside down. She saw a man coming near her, but it wasn't her dad. Nor anyone she'd seen before. She laughed at him, showing her little teeth and holding until her arms were tired and her head throbbing from the blood rushing to it. The man was just standing there, he looked funny upside down. She could tell he was smiling at her and she wondered why he waited and didn't stop her game like the others always did.
"Alex?" he asked her, when the world was normal again.
She smiled at him again. He looked like fun.
"Who are you?" she asked him instead.
"I'm Richard, Alex. I want to ask you something. Is it okay if I sit with you?"
"Will you play with me?"
His smile was nice and she let him push her on the swings. She hadn't let anyone push her before, not even when she hadn't been able to swing on her own.
At the time, she didn't even think about that. She was just a kid who wanted someone nice to play with. A kid that didn't understand why nobody else seemed to like her that much. And why she didn't seem to like the others either, no matter how hard she tried. She somehow didn't fit in, and even a five-year-old could feel something like that.
His hands felt warm on her back as she swung higher. Their joined laughter carried on the wind.
"Alex, would you like to have someone else to play with?"
"I like you," she said then, her legs still but her hair sweeping in the wind.
He smiled then, before talking again.
"I like you too, Alex. But I don't have time to play, I have work to do. I know a boy who would love to play with you, if you want to."
"Nobody likes me," she said, it sounded hard coming from someone that small, but it was the truth.
"I'm sure he'll like you, you see, nobody likes him either."
Her eyes squinted a little when he said that, a questioning look on her face. Well, if nobody did, then she would.
"What's his name?"
"Karl."
-
The first time he saw the girl, she was five years old. He didn't know how old he was, he couldn't remember, and frankly he'd never cared about it either.
It was a sight to see, someone that small and innocent and yet, she had the strangest effect upon him. He knew she was special. He also knew she was lonely. She needed someone to play with, and he'd found her the perfect friend.
He didn't know yet, the trouble that would cause as they grew older.
-
The second time she remembers seeing him, she was eight years old.
She'd been playing with Karl after having done her homework. They'd been best friends ever since that day by the swings. Her daddy seemed happy that she had a friend, but she didn't recognise yet the look in his eyes when she turned away. Fear and anger for what he thought he could see for his daughter in the future.
Alex had her hands over her eyes and stood against a tree counting down.
"Three... Two... One. Ready or not, here I come!"
When she opened her eyes and turned around, Richard was standing a few feet away.
"Hi!" she exclaimed happily. "I remember you!"
She couldn't understand why she liked him so, but even though it had been three years, she knew exactly who he was.
"Are you happy with Karl, Alex?"
She nodded fast, ran up to him and laughed as he caught her in his arms and lifted her up.
Then she ran off again, searching for Karl.
-
He went to visit Alex again, three years later. He always knew how she was doing, it was part of his job. He didn't have time to visit her often, though.
Richard Alpert was a busy man.
Keeping track of her abilities, of her progress was important, but she was still too young to be tested. He had more important things to arrange.
He wondered what she would be like when she grew older. He wondered what the tests would bring. He didn't feel guilty about her friendship with Karl being part of all that. It made her happy and that's all that mattered to her now.
-
The third time she remembers seeing him was the day she turned 11.
She was no longer her daddy's sweet little girl, who did what she was told - more or less, anyway - but she had a strong will of her own now. She knew the jungle better than any of them and that didn't make her father happy at all.
She knew she had to take some tests, her father had explained everything, even though she didn't want to, she had to.
"But why?"
"Because you are special, Alex."
She got everything she had asked for her birthday, mostly books.
Richard came to her when the sun hit the sky with her last rays. Everything was orange and red and Alex loved to see how everything changed colour, how the sun seemed to make everything so much more alive, but yet the darkness was already waiting to take over and this was not yet the part where the night became something to be scared of. Not that she was ever scared in the jungle and even at 11, she still didn't understand why. Everyone else seemed to be scared of something. She loved how the trees sometimes even seemed on fire when she sun was nearly gone.
He smiled at her when he came closer and kissed her on the cheek before handing her something neatly wrapped.
"Happy Birthday, Alex."
His smile was something she could never stop looking at, it seemed to have something more behind it.
She sat down on the cool grass and waited for him to join her. His eyes were watching her face. It lit up as if the sun caught it, even though it was below the horizon now, her eyes shining with a secret pleasure.
"It's a sling!" she smiled at him.
He nodded. "I figured you'd like it."
"Thanks, Richard."
She didn't run away now, like she had done a few years before. She sat with him until darkness fell and they talked about the tests she had to take in the following weeks. The longer Alex talked to him, the less nervous she was.
She remembers wishing she could see him more.
-
Richard had made the sling himself and when he told her, he loved the way her eyes widened and she started shooting heaps of grass to nothing - or no one - in particular.
"Dad's never gonna let me keep this," she said.
"So don't tell him. It'll be our little secret," he winked at her.
The thought of a secret, a secret she shared with him, seemed to excite her maybe as much as the sling itself. It made him smile.
He was getting too attached to this girl, he told himself, but he couldn't let it get in the way with his job. After all, he was only following the chain of command and he knew what needed to be done. And he always did it, no matter how much he liked or disliked it.
Because that's the price they had to pay for being here.
He walked away and saw her running towards her house. She would be a proper teenager soon, a rebel - as far as she hadn't always been - but also a young woman.
He knew she'd be a force to be reckoned with, when the time came.
-
The years passed and her secret wish had been granted. She saw Richard more during the weeks they tested her than she'd seen him in her life. She came to hate the tests, however, and whenever she ran or tried to sabotage, they would threaten to get Richard and she'd run the other way.
He always managed to calm her down, but as soon as they noticed she enjoyed having Richard come over, they started threatening to call Ben. And she didn't like that at all.
When the tests were done, she saw him less often, but still enough to allow her to look forward to it.
-
Richard visited Alex every week, despite his workload, despite Ben's disapproval. He didn't care what Ben thought, there was nothing he could do. He wasn't disappointed when the tests had pointed out she was special, but not in the way they had been hoping.
He took walks with her, under the sunlit trees in the jungle. He taught her things she hadn't been able to figure out by herself, answered every question she asked him. They never discussed her life, or Ben or anything to do with people, they always discussed the island and that was that. He knew there'd be a time she would start asking about him, so he didn't tell her his story, there was another time and place for that. If ever.
He promised her to take her further away one day, to teach her everything he knew, but not now. He still had work to do and she was still too young. Her eyes had sparkled when he promised her, she knew very well that he was the only one that knew this jungle better than she did.
Maybe there'd be a time she would know it better than him. He hoped so.
-
She had not forgotten what had happened, what Richard too, had done to her. Unlike 'her father', she'd forgiven Richard. There had always been something special between them, as if the island itself kept them together.
And then she turned sixteen.
She started feeling more than just that connection. She started to feel the blood rushing to her cheeks when she thought of him, something inside of her belly fluttered when he looked at her, she dreamed about him at night and she didn't seem to be able to speak very long with him, for she started to stutter after looking into his eyes too long.
His eyes were distracting. They were too deep, she always got lost and had trouble finding her way out again. That had never happened to her before. She always found her way back.
Richard always put his hand on her shoulder then, smiling at her, guiding her back out of his eyes until she felt her feet stood on solid ground again.
She was always aware of how hot she felt as she left him, the skin where he had touched her burning like fire, she could never stay after having herself caught being lost.
-
When Alex left, his mind was as calm and peaceful as ever. He knew what had just happened, he had felt Alex' heartbeat when he touched her, as if it had radiated from her skin. But he knew it was dangerous for her to wander into his eyes. He had felt her presence inside of him and knew the power that was in her too. Maybe the tests had been wrong after all. Too late to change anything now.
There would be a time when he'd let her gaze into his eyes longer, but not yet. He had a feeling that it might be sooner than he'd expected.
-
She'd started to hate her life. She had discovered years ago that Ben wasn't her real father and that's when she'd started calling him by his name. She started to discover more lies, came to hear more 'truths' and her life wasn't her life any more. She was losing pieces of herself with every other truth she discovered, scattered throughout the jungle she loved so much.
Just when she thought she couldn't take it any more and would force Ben to tell her everything he'd been keeping from her, he took Karl away. He didn't give any reason, but she knew. He felt threatened by him, she saw the fear that was in his eyes and she couldn't see any pain - or honesty - when he told her he did this for her. When she cried and the tears streamed down her face and stained her shirt and she pleaded with Ben to bring Karl back, he didn't even move.
She ran then, into the jungle. It was the only thing left that was real.
-
Richard came to find her. He found her sitting in a tree, shielded from the rain by giant leaves. He couldn't see the tears on her face, but he knew they were there. He did not feel guilty, he'd seen too much to be able to feel that, and it wasn't his fault, wasn't his problem. He came to find her, because he was the only one that could. Maybe even the only one that would.
He would have found her hours ago, but he'd decided to give her time to think. He had followed her, sometimes seeing her in the distance, running and then walking, walking and then running again. Her voice carried on the wind, broken and confused.
"Alex, is it okay if I sit with you?"
It reminded him of the first time he'd seen her.
"Go away," she yelled at him, the rain beating on the ground and drowning their voices.
He turned to leave, even though he wanted her to come with him, he wouldn't force her.
He had taken three steps when he heard her voice again.
"Richard..."
Her voice was hoarse, weak. He couldn't deny this affected him more than he'd thought.
He stopped and turned around, watched her climb down the tree and take him by the hand towards a dry spot.
"I don't want you to go. I want you to stay with me, I want you to take that walk with me that you promised me years ago."
He sighed. She was right. She was ready for it now. They waited until the rain stopped and the sun broke through the clouds again.
-
As always, after a heavy rain, the island looked like it had been reborn. Everything was beautiful and fresh, the leaves leaked drops of wet rain and the grass looked greener than before. The smell that hung in the air was something that she couldn't compare to anything she'd ever smelled before, but something she couldn't get enough of either.
She looked at Richard, smiled at him, her mind settling down from the storm that had raged in her head too. She slipped her hand into his, felt his strength and was reassured. She knew this wouldn't be easy, the island had many dangers, but she was with Richard and she felt safe.
-
When he felt her hand in his, he squeezed it gently. It would take time for her to recover from everything, before she could return and live at the barracks again. He would keep her safe until then.
-
Years later, Alex still hadn't learned everything there was to know about the island. Richard and her had walked for miles and miles, crossed the island from left to right, right to left and she had grown into the woman that she was born to be.
He let her look into his eyes now, they were still too deep and she still got lost in them, but every once in a while he'd let her wander. He'd let her in, felt her inside of him again and they were one, for he knew she could feel it too. She didn't knew her way back, because he wouldn't let her. It was part of their mystery, and Alex had come to accept that.
Alex didn't mind being lost in his eyes, it was the only place she could get lost in now. She loved being drawn into his eyes, to lose herself and surrender herself to him and feel him surrendering to her.
His arms felt warm around her when he held her at night and his body was strong against her own. His lips were soft and gentle when he kissed her, hers still young and demanding.
They both knew there would be time they'd have to return to the barracks, but that time was not now.
Richard would know when the time was right, he would feel it and Alex would feel it too.