OOM: poker night
“You’ll probably have to keep me updated on the rules,” Moist says, as he sits down. “It’s been... well, you know how the last time went.”
This is true enough, even though he doesn’t remember Hourglass, at least, playing on that particular evening. The story got around - there really are no sacred secrets in the Henchmen’s Union, after all.
Bait smiles; Moist thinks she means it to be sweet, at least on some level, but it’s more dangerous than anything. “Oh, don’t worry. We’ll keep you on the right track.”
Moist eyes the one of the League’s lawyers (whether it’s Dewey, Cheatem, or Howe, he can never tell) who’s playing tonight, and says, “Oh, I’m sure.”
It’s him, Bait and Switch (who must always be assumed to be working as a team - it’s rare they double-cross each other), Hourglass, and the lawyer. The Purple Pimp’s got his girls at some League member’s party, or else he’d probably be in on the action as well. Before the game starts, Moist glances at Conflict Diamond, who made sure she was bartending tonight; she nods once, and goes about her business, the better not to attract anyone’s attention.
(They’ve already agreed that she’ll only make off with the pot if someone other than Moist wins.)
The game starts in earnest after that, and Moist makes a point of asking about the rules every couple minutes. The lawyer is more than glad to keep him updated, in what seems to be a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ context - not that that’s a surprise, considering Moist knows everyone’s tells.
It’s not that there’s no honor among thieves; it’s that there’s no subtlety. The lawyer makes a point of loudly knowing all of the rules to create a diversion from his breaking them. Hourglass’s eyes glaze over when she checks on the state of the game a minute from now. Bait’s ‘I’m about to swap hands with Switch’ scowl is a little different from her ‘I’m bluffing low to confuse you all’ scowl, and Switch... well, Switch just scowls all the time, so Moist errs on the side of caution there and assumes Switch is up to something.
About a minute before the first round ends, he catches Hourglass staring at him incredulously. He doesn’t show any outward sign that he’s noticed, but he takes it as a good sign, and sure enough, the last couple cards he needed for a royal flush fall into his hands.
“Hey, guys? Is a ten, jack, queen, king, and ace all in the same suit a good sign?”
He cleans up well, from that round; everyone else put a hell of a lot more on the table than they usually do, to start out poker night. Moist thinks it’s because they were expecting to have an easy time of it.
“It’s got to’ve been a fluke,” Bait says, and Moist lets her and Switch win the second game, just to reassure her a little bit. He doesn’t put very much of his winnings back into the pot; he’s hoping to make out well on the night, after all, and that won’t happen if he gambles it all away.
After the second game, he wins the next three in a row. The lawyer tries to call shenanigans, but Moist just looks at him, all wide-eyed... well, as close to innocence as anyone in the Union can get, and says, “But I’m only playing by the rules. I’m not good enough at this to cheat.”
The lawyer leaves after the fifth game. Hourglass, Bait and Switch stick around for a couple more; Hourglass wins one of those, and Moist cleans up on the last one.
“We’re out of money,” Bait says. “Anyone up for a drinking contest?”
Hourglass makes a face. “No thanks. Hangovers screw with my ability to stay in one time.”
“Anyway,” Conflict Diamond says, “the Union has not resotocked recently enough to keep up with your liver.”
“Damn.” With that, Bait and Switch head off; Hourglass isn’t far behind, and the crowd begins to disperse.
Moist grins, after just about everyone’s cleared out. “So that went well.”
“It was... surprisingly non-violent,” Conflict Diamond says. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. Don’t think I’ll be doing it again, though - it probably wouldn’t work out half so well. Want a drink?”