"Love" vs "In Love"

[kemsit]

When I was 20, I was in a loving relationship with a sweet, generous woman.  When we broke up, it was because I felt that I loved her, but I was not "in love" with her.  She wanted more, and we parted on good terms.  Though we live in different parts of the country, and haven't seen each other in person for many years, we still love each other, and

Comments

[dbang]

to me it's the romantically part that defines the difference. Being "in love" has a romantic element. In fact, it is primarily romantic. "Loving" either has no romantic element, or it is a very minor focus.

[randysmith]

Very different. Neither emotion is easily amenable to precise definitions, but my working definitions are:
Love: Willing another person's well being.
In Love: Being made happy by the presence of that person, either with you or in your thoughts (though the happiness can be related to how close you are to them either physically or otherwise; this can produce phone calls and sudden pulls across the room for hugs).

Both of these also produce vulnerabilities, which can lead to you hurting if the object of your affection is hurting, or angry at you. In love's worse for that, and it's a different kind of hurt; harder to bear.