I just found out a really great person died. I'd been pretty close to her for a while, but we had some pretty severe disagreements and the last time we spoke was in negativity
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Well - I can't keep track of everyone's beliefs in an afterlife, or whatnot, but there are two twisted ways at looking at things like this (as one of my friends in Iraq went to hell while he still owed me $5)...
- Most of the arguments, bitterness, and other stuff we get ourselves into doesn't really matter on the death bed. At the time of death, I would imagine that most of that sort of stuff falls away. So, in one line of thinking, in the end, it was one of the billion things in our lives that didn't matter.
- If you believe in an afterlife, and if this resolution is still important to you after you pass, then you'll have a chance to tell her.
I know, it's about as good as 'she's not really gone, a part of her lives on inside you...' kind of patronizing that everyone close to someone who passes seems to get, but hopefully, it'll let you focus less on regrets and more on happier memories... or on the six pack of beer Uncle Ted brought to her funeral.
In a way, I fully understand what you're going through. A friend of mine died suddenly back in January, but I'd never had the chance to tell him that he was on my list of most admired people. I just knew I'd get to at the next Queen's Champion while doing pick up fights. When he died, words were left unsaid, not to mention how incredible it was. His death came so suddenly. I've had people die in my life, but it was like there was always that small window that death could climb through for them. With C, there was no window for death. He was so strong and almost... it was like he was invincible. Stupid way to think of a person, but still. Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss, and the pain that it's caused you because of the situation. As a suggestion, perhaps you could go leave a comment on her lj telling her what you want to say. While it's not the same as doing it face to face, it might help a little.
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Sorry to hear it, man.
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They're not on your friends list.
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- Most of the arguments, bitterness, and other stuff we get ourselves into doesn't really matter on the death bed. At the time of death, I would imagine that most of that sort of stuff falls away. So, in one line of thinking, in the end, it was one of the billion things in our lives that didn't matter.
- If you believe in an afterlife, and if this resolution is still important to you after you pass, then you'll have a chance to tell her.
I know, it's about as good as 'she's not really gone, a part of her lives on inside you...' kind of patronizing that everyone close to someone who passes seems to get, but hopefully, it'll let you focus less on regrets and more on happier memories... or on the six pack of beer Uncle Ted brought to her funeral.
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