A note in retrospectkenduaneJuly 6 2005, 08:34:38 UTC
Without excusing Kris for anything that she has done that she knows she should not have done; it may serve Kris as well as others who might be more judgmental than is good for them to know that I still believe that Kris is a good person.
my favorite partex_lame_johJuly 6 2005, 19:46:19 UTC
This is my favorite part of your most excellent and heart-wrenching essay:
"Most elderly people don't regret a moment of their lives. This is because they have come to realize the last lesson in life; that we are naught but the some of our experiences, and it is our memory of life events and the choices we made that make us who we are. Therefore, to erase a memory of a major event would be to pervert one's character; to unlearn a hard lesson, and to rape truth."
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement and embrace it myself.
I think it is beautiful that you are trying to embrace your life, good and bad. In a way, perhaps before Kris, you didn't have someone to challenge your beliefs enough to make you realize how strongly you held them. So, I don't know Kris, but I think in a way it was good for you to have known her. A very painful way, but good.
Take care, man. We should watch a movie together sometime. I think we could have most excellent conversation about it.
i read the whole thingdjmajikmimiJuly 7 2005, 16:49:56 UTC
i don't know why, but i did. it is hard to give my opinion or advice (if that's what you're looking for) on your specific situation without knowing all the facts (who are these others being hurt, and why, for example). i can give you some general principals that i try to keep in mind when dealing with such matters, or helping friends deal with them. i believe i've expressed some of this to you before, but here goes
( ... )
There's no such thing as a spotless mind
anonymous
July 19 2005, 17:05:11 UTC
I think a lot of things about what you wrote -- too much to write here. But, I find your comments about fear equally as insightful as those about the god Truth. When we are born we have an abundance of fear... about who we are, what we want to be, fear of abandonment, and more corporal concerns like our food supply at first, and later avoiding bullies on the playground. The hope is that over time, we will eliminate these fears due to experience. It's like a mine field that at first is very hard to navigate without losing a limb, but as you grow you can actually see the mines and most of the time, easily steer clear of them. But for some, this does not happen as quickly or as fully as for others. (Like M said, you have this ability and have had it since you were young, but that is rare and carries its own burdens. Some may pity your ability to seemingly detach, or find it cold, and there is a point when you might trust it too much and miss some "realities.") The wonder of these people -- the ones who are slow to lose their fears (
( ... )
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"Most elderly people don't regret a moment of their lives. This is because they have come to realize the last lesson in life; that we are naught but the some of our experiences, and it is our memory of life events and the choices we made that make us who we are. Therefore, to erase a memory of a major event would be to pervert one's character; to unlearn a hard lesson, and to rape truth."
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement and embrace it myself.
I think it is beautiful that you are trying to embrace your life, good and bad. In a way, perhaps before Kris, you didn't have someone to challenge your beliefs enough to make you realize how strongly you held them. So, I don't know Kris, but I think in a way it was good for you to have known her. A very painful way, but good.
Take care, man. We should watch a movie together sometime. I think we could have most excellent conversation about it.
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