Grey's Anatomy - Choices (2/23)
Title: Choices
Chapter 2/23
Authors: Faith & Kye
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17
Story Summary: Post-6x17 "Push" -- Arizona prefers chickens to children, and Callie isn't okay with that. Heartbroken and lonely, the two women try unsuccessfully to move on with their lives, only to find they really are made for eachother.
Chapter Summary: Fallout from the breakup. Arizona decides to drink away her sorrows.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Chapters
---
Mark was starting to fall asleep on his feet when the door behind him suddenly opened.
Arizona slipped out and quietly closed it behind her. She looked…dazed, and her eyes were bloodshot as she tugged her scrub shirt back into place. Her pants were a little crooked, and she adjusted them half-heartedly, too.
It took a second before she was aware that Mark was even there, and she finally looked up to meet his questioning gaze.
Then, without saying a single word, she glanced away and started slowly down the hall, completely unaware of anyone or anything else around her.
Mark watched the blonde leave with a furrowed brow. He tilted his head as her retreating form disappeared around the corner, pausing before he turned back toward the door.
All was silent on the other side.
The male surgeon reached down for the handle, turning it slowly as he carefully hedged the door open. It didn't take very long before he spotted the hunched form of his best friend seated in the middle of the nearest bed.
Callie clutched her legs tightly against her chest, crying silently out into the room.
Without a word, Mark walked over and sat down next to the brunette. He reached out to pull her into a hug, and Callie melted into his arms, burying her face into his neck as her quiet sobs suddenly became very audible.
***
Never before had Arizona Robbins been so relieved that there seemed to be a lull in sick children that night.
Not that she was ever happy when there were children in need of her services, but…she didn’t think she could handle something major right now.
She made it out of the on-call room and down the hall, then to the second floor and half way toward the PEDS wing when she just about lost it.
Arizona ducked into the nearest bathroom, fully planning on locking herself in, only to stop short just inside the doorway upon realizing someone else was already in there washing their hands.
“Oh crap, dammit,” she stammered, trying desperately to retract the tears that had just started to fall back into her eyes. “Crap, crap, sorry…”
Dr. Teddy Altman looked over at the sound of the door opening. Her first instinct was to smile at her new 'best friend', but the moment she saw the state the blonde was in, it quickly faded.
“Arizona?” Teddy called softly as she dried her hands on the leg of her scrubs, turning to face the other woman.
This had to be some sort of record. To have two women she barely knew break down on her in the same day, and no less be involved in the same couple with the same problem.
The same lesbian couple at that. Not that she had anything against it. She was all for any kinda love these days.
“I’m fine,” Arizona blurted, trying desperately to stop crying as she glanced away and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. She did that way too much in this hospital, and it was getting embarrassing.
But this was a lot more painful than any of her few prior meltdowns.
“I-I have…a-allergies,” she managed to say through a sob.
“To…oxygen?” Teddy offered tentatively, obviously not believing a word the other woman was saying.
Arizona finally crumpled and sank to the floor, her back sliding down against the wall. “Callie broke up with me,” she cried.
Teddy stood rooted in place for a long moment, unsure of what she was supposed to do here. One 'girls night out' and a few chance encounters didn't exactly constitute a best friendship. They barely talked about anything other than cases or...Owen.
Teddy swallowed back, her brow ticking as she slowly stepped toward the fallen surgeon. She reached out with a shaky, unsure hand. “I...I'm very sorry,” she offered gently. “For what it's worth.”
Arizona shook her head feverishly, fighting to regain just a little bit of composure. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to…as my new friend I shouldn’t…subject you t-too this…it’s not…just ignore me,” she babbled, waving her right hand emphatically. “Just leave me here, please, i-it’s okay…”
She pressed both palms hard against her eyes, really trying to pull herself together, but it was nearly impossible.
She was surprised to find Teddy sitting down next to her on the floor when she looked up again, instead of having escaped as quickly as she could. “Really, you can run far, far away, I won’t blame you. I just need to sit here f-for a little while.”
Teddy's lips turned up in a slight smile as she glanced over at the other blonde. She pulled her legs up, bending them at the knees to rest her arms against them. She gently dropped her head back against the bathroom door as she released a low, soft sigh. “I like to sit.” Her eyes turned upwards. “And this has to be about the best bathroom ceiling I've ever seen.” She continued to stare at the roof as she released a soft 'hmm' of approval. “Good construction,” she added after a moment. “Nice use of color.”
Arizona managed a half hearted laugh, leaning her head back against the wall with an exhausted sigh. “You’ve clearly never been to Belaugee’s downtown. They have a disco ball.”
Sniffing loudly, she wiped her eyes on her scrubs. “I’m sorry,” came the mumbled repeated apology. “I didn’t m-mean to dump this on you. I really just came in here to find an empty stall and fall apart in a much more private and less embarrassing way.”
Arizona paused for a moment, and then got attacked by another wave of tears. “I screwed everything up. It was all perfect and then I screwed it up, and now she’s gone, a-and, and…c-can I get you in the breakup?” She looked up hopefully, to find Teddy blinking at her in confusion. “Because I really like you as a friend, and Calliope’s gonna get Mark and Cristina and pretty much everyone else and I know this is coming off as forward and strange but I really, really just want to know if you’ll still maybe be talking to me tomorrow?”
Teddy just kept looking at the ceiling. Arizona didn't notice the slight tilt in her smile. “A disco ball you say?”
***
Yang casually looked up from filling in her latest chart at the exact moment that Mark Sloan slammed his down onto the counter. Cristina jumped a little as she blinked up at him. “Passive-aggressive much?”
“I can't do it all,” Mark nearly shouted. “As much as I wanna be there for her,” he continued on at the blank look he received. “I'm still a guy. There's only so much I can take.”
Yang blinked with a slight jerk of her head. “Okay,” she responded a little louder than needed. She gave him one last look and then went back to her chart.
She jumped again when Mark's hand slammed down on the paper.
“Geez,” Yang complained as she looked up to meet his eyes. “Lay off the 'roids, Id-boy.”
Sloan kept his hand on the chart as he leaned in closer toward the woman. “She needs another chick for this kinda stuff. There's only so many times I can hear about her nights of endless lesbian-type passion without needing a bathroom break of some kind.”
Cristina fixed Mark with a deadpan stare. “Do I look like the type of girl who wants to talk about relationships with other girls? About other girls?”
“Isn’t that supposed to be every man’s dream?” Meredith piped up, appearing behind Cristina with two coffees in hand. She passed one off to her best friend, and raised a brow at Mark. “And aren’t you always bugging her about the types of things you really have no right to bug her about? Pervert.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “I don’t do weepy breakup stories, Grey. I’m a man, we stifle our pain by-”
“-sleeping with anything that moves?” Lexi Grey cut in as she walked by the desk, passing through. She didn’t even look at Mark, just kept going on her way.
Yang smirked and scribbled some notes on the chart she was holding.
Meredith seemed to be the only one who caught the meaning to Mark’s words. “Breakup? Who broke up?”
“That would be Seattle Grace Mercy West's very own perfect little lesbian couple,” Cristina piped in as she continued to scribble, never once looking up.
Mark shot her a confused frown. “How do you know already?”
Cristina gave a light shake of her head. “Who else would you be all girly, whiny-bitchy about?”
Sloan's face shifted into a slight pout. “I don't girly whine.”
Meredith stepped up next to her best friend, the coffee cup drooping in her hand just slightly. “Callie and Arizona? They broke up? When?”
Yang looked up sharply. “Since when do you care? I didn't think anybody but you and 'Dr. McDream-not' existed in your own perfect, married little world?”
Meredith narrowed her eyes at the other woman before quickly turning her attention back to Mark. “What happened? I thought they were happy.”
The plastic surgeon sighed as he leaned forward, resting both forearms against the counter. “They were,” he replied. “Until Torres decided she wants to reproduce.”
Yang looked up sharply again. “Callie wants to have a baby?”
Mark nodded.
“As in an actual living, breathing...human child?”
Meredith swatted her best friend on the shoulder.
Yang turned, raising her hands into the air. “What? It's a question.”
Meredith shook her head. “I don't understand. Why is that a problem?”
Mark let a moment pass before responding. “‘Cause Torres wants one, but Robbins would rather have a root canal.”
Dr. Grey frowned.
“In the middle of Guam,” Mark added after a beat. “In the dead of summer.”
Cristina's eyes widened.
Meredith nodded once. “Oh.”
“How does someone that works in PEDS not want children?” Cristina questioned.
“Don’t let Robbins hear you say that,” Mark gruffed.
“Seriously. I thought she’d be all about the whiny, sticky little child parade.”
Meredith sipped her coffee. “Well…it kinda makes sense.”
Mark and Cristina both turned to stare at Meredith.
She paused with the cup halfway to her lips. “What? She spends all day with sick and dying children. It’d be enough to give anyone a complex.”
Mark continued to stare hard at Meredith.
She dropped her coffee to the desk with a slam and gave him a very unimpressed glare. “I’m formerly dark and twisty inside, I have insights to people with issues.”
Yang rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She turned her attention back to Mark as she raised her hand, still clutching her pen. “You need to tell Callie to suck it up.”
“Cristina!” both voices rang out at once.
“What?” Yang waved her hand in defense. “What do you say she does instead? Whine and bitch and moan over something she has no power to change? For someone who obviously doesn't love her enough-”
“She loves her plenty,” Mark cut in, a slightly perverted smirk on his face. His eyes had dropped down to the counter and he was still smirking as he absently drew his finger across his file folder.
Yang's brow arched and Meredith's eyes widened.
Sloan looked up after another few moments of silence passed. “What?”
Both women replied at once. “Pervert.”
Mark stepped back, stretching both arms out. “I'm a guy.” He reached forward to snatch up his patient file. “Just...deal with it.” He moved to leave, but paused to turn back. He pointed the file at Yang. “And don't be mean. I've never hit a woman, but in your case,” he paused as his smirk returned. “...I won't have to make an exception.”
Yang scoffed, rolled her eyes, flipped Mark off, and stormed away with her patient files in hand.
Mark was still chuckling when he caught Meredith glaring at him. “What?”
“You’re an ass,” she stated plainly. “In case you haven’t been told that lately.”
“I’ve been told plenty lately,” Mark replied with that same stupid smirk plastered on his face.
It was Meredith’s turn to roll her eyes. “Ass.” And then storm off.
Mark leaned back against the counter and sighed. “Women.”
***
After a seventeen hour day from hell, Arizona just wanted to cut and run. And maybe crawl into a hole to sleep for a week. And possibly never wake up again.
With a stiff, painful groan, she pulled her scrub shirt up and over her head, stuffing it into her locker alongside her white lab coat. She then fished out whatever the cleanest smelling t-shirt was from the bottom and pulled it on before sinking down onto the bench, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. She was being eternally grateful to have this one single moment alone, the first all day, when the locker room door opened.
So much for that.
Meredith was busy reading over a file in her hand, and sipping what was left of her now stone cold coffee. She made a disgusted face as she quickly jerked the cup away from her mouth to toss it into the nearest trash bin.
It was then that she finally looked up from her file to see the other occupant of the room. She jerked a little in surprise as she came to a dead stop mid-step. “Arizona,” she stated shortly with a quick glance around.
Dammit.
Not another soul in sight.
Meredith forced her best smile as she slowly began to walk towards her locker. “H...How's it goin'?”
Dropping her head forward again, Arizona continued to dig her things out from her locker without looking at the other occupant of the room. “Peachy, Grey, just…peachy.”
Unaware that pretty much the entire hospital somehow knew about her split from Callie, she was determined not to embarrass herself in front of anyone else today.
“Heard you assisted Derek in removing an ependymoma brain tumor earlier.” She glanced over and offered a weak smile. “That must have been…fun.”
Meredith looked over with a quick smile. “Yes. Fun was had by all.” She turned back to her own locker, quickly popping it open to shove the file inside. She paused a moment, her fingers drumming on the folder as she considered her next move.
What the hell.
Dr. Grey suddenly slammed her locker shut before turning to face the other woman full on. “Have you completely lost your mind?”
Arizona stopped mid-reach to turn her gaze toward the other doctor. “Excuse me?”
“Callie,” Meredith instantly added. “Have you lost your mind? What are you thinking? Don't get me wrong, I can understand your fears,” she was quick to add. “But I don't think it's worth losing your relationship over.”
Arizona didn't reply for a long moment. “This is completely none of your business, Grey,” she finally answered before turning back to her locker.
“Everything that happens in this hospital is everyone’s business,” Meredith replied in kind. She took a few steps closer to the blonde. “I mean it when I say I get it. I can understand where you're coming from as a doctor. It can't be easy to be a pediatric surgeon. It's bad enough when you lose an adult...”
She trailed off, her words hanging in the air between them. “I'm not saying you should ignore your gut feeling, but isn't there some way you can work it out instead of just...nothing?”
Arizona slammed her locker closed and then turned to face the other doctor. “Yes, Meredith, yes,” she shot back, her anger rising. “There's plenty I could be doing, but instead, I choose to wallow and moan and pine for the one woman that I love more than life itself. I'm just zany like that.” She shot Meredith a harsh glare before stepping away to grab her hoody and bag from the bench.
A long moment of silence fell over the room.
Arizona kept her eyes focused on the shirt in her hands. “I tried,” she finally whispered softly. “I...I tried to talk to her, but she...” She trailed off as her face twisted in agony. She quickly shook her head. “She wants kids, I don't.” She turned to give the other doctor one last weak shrug. “What else is there to say?”
Meredith called out to Arizona just as she walked by. “You're the best thing that's happened to her in a long time.”
Arizona stopped just short of the door, her hand hovering right above the handle.
“She was miserable for a long time,” Meredith continued. “Everything that happened with George and Izzie, and then Dr. Hahn just up and leaving. She was sad, and then she met you, and I’ve never seen her happier.”
The other woman’s words were like a knife to Arizona’s chest. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, but that doesn’t change anything. I can’t ask her to give up what she wants, and I’m not ready to give it to her, so…here we are.”
Yes, there they were indeed.
She was going back to an empty home. A place she hadn’t even been to in well over a week.
Meredith sighed in defeat.
What else was there to say?
As she watched the attending quietly leave, one thing became perfectly clear.
Things were definitely not over.
***
“Penny for your thoughts, Dr. Robbins?” Joe stood over her with a smile, looking down.
Arizona, who had her chin resting on her arms across the bar, glanced up with sad, puppy dog-like eyes. “How about a penny for a shot? Or possibly a shot for a thought?”
Unable to face the possibility of going home and wallowing by herself, she had decided that wallowing at Joe’s would be much healthier.
‘Cause, y’know…alcohol.
“What’ll it be, my darling?” Joe knew the doctors working across the street well enough to figure out when their personal dramas required large amounts of alcohol.
Which seemed to be quite often, for most of them…
“Surprise me,” Arizona mumbled sadly. As soon as Joe placed the shot in front of her, she tipped it back in an instant, and nearly choked.
Wow. Okay. Wasn’t expecting whisky. But that would work.
“Keep ‘em coming, because I’m just sad and pathetic enough to need that right now,” she sighed.
Someone slid into the stool next to her, and she glanced over to see Lexi Grey looking about as happy as she felt right then. “Little Grey. Come join me in the stewing of self pain and pity. It’s awesome.”
“That’s the plan,” Lexi sighed, dumping her bag up on the bar counter in front of her. She stole one of the shots Joe placed in front of Arizona and threw it back with ease. “Mark is moving on. He wants a wife.”
“Callie wants babies,” Arizona replied.
Sharing a look, they clinked shot glasses and tipped those back as well.
***
Callie watched her...ex-girlfriend tip back another shot. Her dark brown eyes were clearly saddened as she wore a worried expression.
Arizona and alcohol were worse than oil and water. She had her thing with public speaking, and Arizona had her thing with drinking.
Both would end up puking uncontrollably before the night was over.
“I should go over there,” Callie suddenly stated to the two other members seated at the corner table with her. “Shouldn't I?”
“Absolutely not,” Yang answered.
“Of course you should,” Meredith spoke up at the exact same moment.
Meredith shot her best friend a look. “Of course she should. Look at her,” she pointed towards the blonde seated at the bar with her little half-sister. “She's obviously miserable.”
“Who's fault is that?” Yang reasoned as she tipped her beer bottle in the direction of the bar. “It's not like Callie asked her for a kidney. Just a child. Those are way easier to replace.”
“Cristina!” both women scolded.
“What?” Yang answered with a slight shrug. “It's true, isn't it?”
Callie just rolled her eyes with a slight shake of her head. Her gaze once again landed on her former lover. She chewed on her bottom lip. “I should go over there.”
Sloan arrived with drinks balanced in his arms for everyone. He handed them out and then slid into the booth next to Callie. “Bad idea, Torres,” he replied, reaching over to steal a french fry from Cristina. “If you go over there, then Lexi knows I’m not far behind, and I’m not up for girl drama tonight.”
“Ass,” Meredith mumbled under her breath.
“Watch how you talk to your superiors, Grey,” Mark warned in what was an attempted menacing tone. But Meredith just smirked back at him.
“I’m married to the Chief. So you can bite me.”
Cristina ignored those two and watched Callie watch Arizona. “She’s only been here an hour. There’s no way she’s had that much to drink.”
Across the bar, they watched as Arizona slid off of her stool, and then almost to the floor. Lexi reached out to steady her, and after a moment of regaining her balance, the attending swayed in the direction of the bar bathroom, using the counter and various chairs to support her as she went.
Cristina popped another fry into her mouth. “I stand corrected.”
“At least you can actually stand,” Meredith piped in. “Doesn't look like Arizona is fairing so well in that department.”
Callie slammed her hands down on the table before pushing herself up. “I'm going after her.” Mark reached up to place a quick hand on her arm.
“No, you're not.”
Meredith reached over and smacked him on the hand. “Yes, she is,” she stated firmly, slowly enunciating each word.
Sloan ignored the look as he turned his attention back to his best friend, and then looked over wistfully at the bar. “She's a big girl,” he reasoned. “She made her decision. Now she's gonna have to live with it.”
Meredith kept her gaze focused on the man. “Who exactly are you talking about there, Mark?”
Blue eyes cut towards the bar.
Lexi was hunched half-over the counter with a drunken hand idly stirring the straw in her drink, watching with rapt interest as the ice swirled in the liquid.
Who, indeed.
***
Inside the bathroom, Arizona was hunched over the sink with her head in her hands.
“Not gonna puke, not gonna puke, not gonna puke…” she chanted under her breath, wishing the world would stop spinning. Her eyes were closed, for craps sake, why was her head insisting on doing burnouts around the room?
She would have splashed some cold water on her face, but chances were she would miss and just get water all over her shirt.
Arizona’s eyes were still closed and she was still leaning over the sink; now confident she wasn’t going to throw up but waiting for the world to hold still, and therefore didn’t hear the door open.
Callie slowly stepped in, and her eyes instantly landed on the hunched form of her lover. She felt that pang in her chest again, swallowing back as she quickly made her way over. “Zona, what did you do?” she chided softly as she reached up to pull a few paper towels from the dispenser. She turned on the cold water in the nearest faucet before placing the towels beneath the stream.
“You know you can't do this,” Callie added softly after a moment. She squeezed her hand to drain the excess water from the material as she reached up with her other one to turn off the flow.
“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” Arizona mumbled, very slowly raising her head and trying to blink back some of the blurriness from her vision. “Figure if I can just…get down a few more…I’ll be unconscious for most of tomorrow.” That was the plan, anyway. She had been planning to spend her first day off in weeks with Callie, but that didn’t look like it was gonna happen any time soon.
She stood up straighter, swaying a little bit and keeping a good hold on the sink for balance. “’Mm good. Really.”
Her words were only a little slurred that time.
“Yeah,” Callie shot back. “Cause you so look it.” She reached out on instinct to place her hands on the other woman's hips to help steady her on her feet. “Here,” she added softly as she nodded towards the closest wall.
With a little difficulty, Callie lead the blonde over to slowly sit down with her back resting against the wall. She instantly dropped to her knees in front of her, reaching up to dab at Arizona's face with the wet paper towels.
She wanted to say something. Anything.
But what could she say that she hadn't already?
It was done. Over.
Her heart hurt a little at that.
Arizona sort of melted back against the wall, her legs grateful they didn’t have to support her weight any longer. She closed her eyes, the cool feeling of the paper towel more soothing than she would’ve liked to admit.
“Little Grey…I was just keeping her company,” Dr. Robbins reasoned, eyes still closed. “She’s all…sad over Mark moving on. I was being supportive.”
Yes, she felt totally pathetic, sitting down on a bathroom floor, drunker than Amy Winehouse, with the woman she was pining over cleaning her up.
Didn’t get much sadder than this.
Arizona finally opened her eyes, a deep sadness hidden in them. “I screwed it all up…I’m sorry.”
Why did Callie always have to look so beautiful? It was making this a thousand times harder.
Callie released a slow, weighted sigh as she continued to dab at the other woman's face. “It's not all your fault,” she finally replied softly, still not quite meeting those deep blue eyes. “It takes two to begin a relationship.” She paused a moment as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind Arizona's ear. “Takes two to end it,” she finished with a slight crack in her voice.
Callie's dark eyes finally did land on the soft blue gaze. She instantly felt the urge to cry, but pushed it down with a hard swallow. “It's nobody's fault,” she added softly. “We just...we want different things.” She dropped her hand away from the other woman's face, her gaze following to watch as her fingers played with the razzled paper towel. “Nobody's fault,” she repeated again, her voice barely audible.
Arizona wanted to believe that. She did. It sounded so…simple. They wanted different things for the future, so it couldn’t work.
But it wasn’t simple.
“I want you,” Arizona admitted in all honesty. “I’ve never wanted anyone more.” She swallowed back thickly, and reached out slowly to run a hand down Callie’s arm. “If my coordination wasn’t off, I would try to kiss you right now. But I might poke out an eye or…something, so…I won’t.” She smiled weakly, and dropped her arm away. “I’m still sorry. Didn’t want it to end like this.” Didn’t want it to end, period.
Callie looked up to meet those deep blue eyes.
Those eyes.
She took a breath as she paused to swallow back. “I want you, too,” she admitted softly. Her arm was still buzzing a little from where Arizona had just touched it a moment ago.
The longer she sat looking into those blue eyes, the braver she got. “And there's nothing wrong with my coordination.”
Callie leaned forward, closing her eyes...
And then they were kissing.
It wasn’t apparent to Arizona at first whether the kiss made her head spin more, or made it spin less.
Either way, she suddenly felt a lot less drunk.
The blonde leaned into it, bringing both hands up behind Callie’s neck to pull her closer.
It wasn’t lost on her that a year ago, she had walked into this very bathroom to kiss a very upset Calliope Torres. And now…
Well.
Now…
Now everything was so messed up. It had been barely over a year and they were already...
Here.
Wherever 'here' was.
Callie suddenly tore her lips away from the kiss just as her right hand began to wander down the front of Arizona's body. She was still gasping for a breath as she leaned her forehead against the other woman's. “We can't do this,” she whispered with a ragged breath. She blinked as she pulled in another labored breath.
“We...we gotta stop,” she added as she pulled back to put some space between them. She didn't move more than an inch.
It wasn't very much, but it was a start.
Callie's dark brow furrowed as her face twisted in agonizing indecision. “We...we need a clean...clean break.”
Yeah. Even she wasn't convinced by that one.
Arizona closed her eyes and fought back the tears that welled up behind them. She didn’t trust herself not to break down if she tried to speak, so instead she just nodded silently.
Somehow, the pain she had been drowning in alcohol earlier burst through full force, all at once.
“I-I have to…” Arizona scrambled to stand up, having a few issues with the whole gravity phenomenon as she scraped at the wall for balance. “I-I can’t…I have to go.”
Callie reached out to steady her by the shoulders with gentle hands. “It's okay,” she called softly as she tried to sooth the flailing blonde. “Hey, it's okay,” she tried again as Arizona continued to struggle.
A few more seconds of futile attempts to stand up passed, then Arizona finally gave up and collapsed into a spent heap back onto the floor. She buried her face in her hands and started to cry.
Callie instantly reached forward to pull the woman into her arms as her own tears began to fall freely.
---
Chapter 2/23
Authors: Faith & Kye
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17
Story Summary: Post-6x17 "Push" -- Arizona prefers chickens to children, and Callie isn't okay with that. Heartbroken and lonely, the two women try unsuccessfully to move on with their lives, only to find they really are made for eachother.
Chapter Summary: Fallout from the breakup. Arizona decides to drink away her sorrows.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Chapters
---
Mark was starting to fall asleep on his feet when the door behind him suddenly opened.
Arizona slipped out and quietly closed it behind her. She looked…dazed, and her eyes were bloodshot as she tugged her scrub shirt back into place. Her pants were a little crooked, and she adjusted them half-heartedly, too.
It took a second before she was aware that Mark was even there, and she finally looked up to meet his questioning gaze.
Then, without saying a single word, she glanced away and started slowly down the hall, completely unaware of anyone or anything else around her.
Mark watched the blonde leave with a furrowed brow. He tilted his head as her retreating form disappeared around the corner, pausing before he turned back toward the door.
All was silent on the other side.
The male surgeon reached down for the handle, turning it slowly as he carefully hedged the door open. It didn't take very long before he spotted the hunched form of his best friend seated in the middle of the nearest bed.
Callie clutched her legs tightly against her chest, crying silently out into the room.
Without a word, Mark walked over and sat down next to the brunette. He reached out to pull her into a hug, and Callie melted into his arms, burying her face into his neck as her quiet sobs suddenly became very audible.
***
Never before had Arizona Robbins been so relieved that there seemed to be a lull in sick children that night.
Not that she was ever happy when there were children in need of her services, but…she didn’t think she could handle something major right now.
She made it out of the on-call room and down the hall, then to the second floor and half way toward the PEDS wing when she just about lost it.
Arizona ducked into the nearest bathroom, fully planning on locking herself in, only to stop short just inside the doorway upon realizing someone else was already in there washing their hands.
“Oh crap, dammit,” she stammered, trying desperately to retract the tears that had just started to fall back into her eyes. “Crap, crap, sorry…”
Dr. Teddy Altman looked over at the sound of the door opening. Her first instinct was to smile at her new 'best friend', but the moment she saw the state the blonde was in, it quickly faded.
“Arizona?” Teddy called softly as she dried her hands on the leg of her scrubs, turning to face the other woman.
This had to be some sort of record. To have two women she barely knew break down on her in the same day, and no less be involved in the same couple with the same problem.
The same lesbian couple at that. Not that she had anything against it. She was all for any kinda love these days.
“I’m fine,” Arizona blurted, trying desperately to stop crying as she glanced away and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth. She did that way too much in this hospital, and it was getting embarrassing.
But this was a lot more painful than any of her few prior meltdowns.
“I-I have…a-allergies,” she managed to say through a sob.
“To…oxygen?” Teddy offered tentatively, obviously not believing a word the other woman was saying.
Arizona finally crumpled and sank to the floor, her back sliding down against the wall. “Callie broke up with me,” she cried.
Teddy stood rooted in place for a long moment, unsure of what she was supposed to do here. One 'girls night out' and a few chance encounters didn't exactly constitute a best friendship. They barely talked about anything other than cases or...Owen.
Teddy swallowed back, her brow ticking as she slowly stepped toward the fallen surgeon. She reached out with a shaky, unsure hand. “I...I'm very sorry,” she offered gently. “For what it's worth.”
Arizona shook her head feverishly, fighting to regain just a little bit of composure. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to…as my new friend I shouldn’t…subject you t-too this…it’s not…just ignore me,” she babbled, waving her right hand emphatically. “Just leave me here, please, i-it’s okay…”
She pressed both palms hard against her eyes, really trying to pull herself together, but it was nearly impossible.
She was surprised to find Teddy sitting down next to her on the floor when she looked up again, instead of having escaped as quickly as she could. “Really, you can run far, far away, I won’t blame you. I just need to sit here f-for a little while.”
Teddy's lips turned up in a slight smile as she glanced over at the other blonde. She pulled her legs up, bending them at the knees to rest her arms against them. She gently dropped her head back against the bathroom door as she released a low, soft sigh. “I like to sit.” Her eyes turned upwards. “And this has to be about the best bathroom ceiling I've ever seen.” She continued to stare at the roof as she released a soft 'hmm' of approval. “Good construction,” she added after a moment. “Nice use of color.”
Arizona managed a half hearted laugh, leaning her head back against the wall with an exhausted sigh. “You’ve clearly never been to Belaugee’s downtown. They have a disco ball.”
Sniffing loudly, she wiped her eyes on her scrubs. “I’m sorry,” came the mumbled repeated apology. “I didn’t m-mean to dump this on you. I really just came in here to find an empty stall and fall apart in a much more private and less embarrassing way.”
Arizona paused for a moment, and then got attacked by another wave of tears. “I screwed everything up. It was all perfect and then I screwed it up, and now she’s gone, a-and, and…c-can I get you in the breakup?” She looked up hopefully, to find Teddy blinking at her in confusion. “Because I really like you as a friend, and Calliope’s gonna get Mark and Cristina and pretty much everyone else and I know this is coming off as forward and strange but I really, really just want to know if you’ll still maybe be talking to me tomorrow?”
Teddy just kept looking at the ceiling. Arizona didn't notice the slight tilt in her smile. “A disco ball you say?”
***
Yang casually looked up from filling in her latest chart at the exact moment that Mark Sloan slammed his down onto the counter. Cristina jumped a little as she blinked up at him. “Passive-aggressive much?”
“I can't do it all,” Mark nearly shouted. “As much as I wanna be there for her,” he continued on at the blank look he received. “I'm still a guy. There's only so much I can take.”
Yang blinked with a slight jerk of her head. “Okay,” she responded a little louder than needed. She gave him one last look and then went back to her chart.
She jumped again when Mark's hand slammed down on the paper.
“Geez,” Yang complained as she looked up to meet his eyes. “Lay off the 'roids, Id-boy.”
Sloan kept his hand on the chart as he leaned in closer toward the woman. “She needs another chick for this kinda stuff. There's only so many times I can hear about her nights of endless lesbian-type passion without needing a bathroom break of some kind.”
Cristina fixed Mark with a deadpan stare. “Do I look like the type of girl who wants to talk about relationships with other girls? About other girls?”
“Isn’t that supposed to be every man’s dream?” Meredith piped up, appearing behind Cristina with two coffees in hand. She passed one off to her best friend, and raised a brow at Mark. “And aren’t you always bugging her about the types of things you really have no right to bug her about? Pervert.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “I don’t do weepy breakup stories, Grey. I’m a man, we stifle our pain by-”
“-sleeping with anything that moves?” Lexi Grey cut in as she walked by the desk, passing through. She didn’t even look at Mark, just kept going on her way.
Yang smirked and scribbled some notes on the chart she was holding.
Meredith seemed to be the only one who caught the meaning to Mark’s words. “Breakup? Who broke up?”
“That would be Seattle Grace Mercy West's very own perfect little lesbian couple,” Cristina piped in as she continued to scribble, never once looking up.
Mark shot her a confused frown. “How do you know already?”
Cristina gave a light shake of her head. “Who else would you be all girly, whiny-bitchy about?”
Sloan's face shifted into a slight pout. “I don't girly whine.”
Meredith stepped up next to her best friend, the coffee cup drooping in her hand just slightly. “Callie and Arizona? They broke up? When?”
Yang looked up sharply. “Since when do you care? I didn't think anybody but you and 'Dr. McDream-not' existed in your own perfect, married little world?”
Meredith narrowed her eyes at the other woman before quickly turning her attention back to Mark. “What happened? I thought they were happy.”
The plastic surgeon sighed as he leaned forward, resting both forearms against the counter. “They were,” he replied. “Until Torres decided she wants to reproduce.”
Yang looked up sharply again. “Callie wants to have a baby?”
Mark nodded.
“As in an actual living, breathing...human child?”
Meredith swatted her best friend on the shoulder.
Yang turned, raising her hands into the air. “What? It's a question.”
Meredith shook her head. “I don't understand. Why is that a problem?”
Mark let a moment pass before responding. “‘Cause Torres wants one, but Robbins would rather have a root canal.”
Dr. Grey frowned.
“In the middle of Guam,” Mark added after a beat. “In the dead of summer.”
Cristina's eyes widened.
Meredith nodded once. “Oh.”
“How does someone that works in PEDS not want children?” Cristina questioned.
“Don’t let Robbins hear you say that,” Mark gruffed.
“Seriously. I thought she’d be all about the whiny, sticky little child parade.”
Meredith sipped her coffee. “Well…it kinda makes sense.”
Mark and Cristina both turned to stare at Meredith.
She paused with the cup halfway to her lips. “What? She spends all day with sick and dying children. It’d be enough to give anyone a complex.”
Mark continued to stare hard at Meredith.
She dropped her coffee to the desk with a slam and gave him a very unimpressed glare. “I’m formerly dark and twisty inside, I have insights to people with issues.”
Yang rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She turned her attention back to Mark as she raised her hand, still clutching her pen. “You need to tell Callie to suck it up.”
“Cristina!” both voices rang out at once.
“What?” Yang waved her hand in defense. “What do you say she does instead? Whine and bitch and moan over something she has no power to change? For someone who obviously doesn't love her enough-”
“She loves her plenty,” Mark cut in, a slightly perverted smirk on his face. His eyes had dropped down to the counter and he was still smirking as he absently drew his finger across his file folder.
Yang's brow arched and Meredith's eyes widened.
Sloan looked up after another few moments of silence passed. “What?”
Both women replied at once. “Pervert.”
Mark stepped back, stretching both arms out. “I'm a guy.” He reached forward to snatch up his patient file. “Just...deal with it.” He moved to leave, but paused to turn back. He pointed the file at Yang. “And don't be mean. I've never hit a woman, but in your case,” he paused as his smirk returned. “...I won't have to make an exception.”
Yang scoffed, rolled her eyes, flipped Mark off, and stormed away with her patient files in hand.
Mark was still chuckling when he caught Meredith glaring at him. “What?”
“You’re an ass,” she stated plainly. “In case you haven’t been told that lately.”
“I’ve been told plenty lately,” Mark replied with that same stupid smirk plastered on his face.
It was Meredith’s turn to roll her eyes. “Ass.” And then storm off.
Mark leaned back against the counter and sighed. “Women.”
***
After a seventeen hour day from hell, Arizona just wanted to cut and run. And maybe crawl into a hole to sleep for a week. And possibly never wake up again.
With a stiff, painful groan, she pulled her scrub shirt up and over her head, stuffing it into her locker alongside her white lab coat. She then fished out whatever the cleanest smelling t-shirt was from the bottom and pulled it on before sinking down onto the bench, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. She was being eternally grateful to have this one single moment alone, the first all day, when the locker room door opened.
So much for that.
Meredith was busy reading over a file in her hand, and sipping what was left of her now stone cold coffee. She made a disgusted face as she quickly jerked the cup away from her mouth to toss it into the nearest trash bin.
It was then that she finally looked up from her file to see the other occupant of the room. She jerked a little in surprise as she came to a dead stop mid-step. “Arizona,” she stated shortly with a quick glance around.
Dammit.
Not another soul in sight.
Meredith forced her best smile as she slowly began to walk towards her locker. “H...How's it goin'?”
Dropping her head forward again, Arizona continued to dig her things out from her locker without looking at the other occupant of the room. “Peachy, Grey, just…peachy.”
Unaware that pretty much the entire hospital somehow knew about her split from Callie, she was determined not to embarrass herself in front of anyone else today.
“Heard you assisted Derek in removing an ependymoma brain tumor earlier.” She glanced over and offered a weak smile. “That must have been…fun.”
Meredith looked over with a quick smile. “Yes. Fun was had by all.” She turned back to her own locker, quickly popping it open to shove the file inside. She paused a moment, her fingers drumming on the folder as she considered her next move.
What the hell.
Dr. Grey suddenly slammed her locker shut before turning to face the other woman full on. “Have you completely lost your mind?”
Arizona stopped mid-reach to turn her gaze toward the other doctor. “Excuse me?”
“Callie,” Meredith instantly added. “Have you lost your mind? What are you thinking? Don't get me wrong, I can understand your fears,” she was quick to add. “But I don't think it's worth losing your relationship over.”
Arizona didn't reply for a long moment. “This is completely none of your business, Grey,” she finally answered before turning back to her locker.
“Everything that happens in this hospital is everyone’s business,” Meredith replied in kind. She took a few steps closer to the blonde. “I mean it when I say I get it. I can understand where you're coming from as a doctor. It can't be easy to be a pediatric surgeon. It's bad enough when you lose an adult...”
She trailed off, her words hanging in the air between them. “I'm not saying you should ignore your gut feeling, but isn't there some way you can work it out instead of just...nothing?”
Arizona slammed her locker closed and then turned to face the other doctor. “Yes, Meredith, yes,” she shot back, her anger rising. “There's plenty I could be doing, but instead, I choose to wallow and moan and pine for the one woman that I love more than life itself. I'm just zany like that.” She shot Meredith a harsh glare before stepping away to grab her hoody and bag from the bench.
A long moment of silence fell over the room.
Arizona kept her eyes focused on the shirt in her hands. “I tried,” she finally whispered softly. “I...I tried to talk to her, but she...” She trailed off as her face twisted in agony. She quickly shook her head. “She wants kids, I don't.” She turned to give the other doctor one last weak shrug. “What else is there to say?”
Meredith called out to Arizona just as she walked by. “You're the best thing that's happened to her in a long time.”
Arizona stopped just short of the door, her hand hovering right above the handle.
“She was miserable for a long time,” Meredith continued. “Everything that happened with George and Izzie, and then Dr. Hahn just up and leaving. She was sad, and then she met you, and I’ve never seen her happier.”
The other woman’s words were like a knife to Arizona’s chest. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, but that doesn’t change anything. I can’t ask her to give up what she wants, and I’m not ready to give it to her, so…here we are.”
Yes, there they were indeed.
She was going back to an empty home. A place she hadn’t even been to in well over a week.
Meredith sighed in defeat.
What else was there to say?
As she watched the attending quietly leave, one thing became perfectly clear.
Things were definitely not over.
***
“Penny for your thoughts, Dr. Robbins?” Joe stood over her with a smile, looking down.
Arizona, who had her chin resting on her arms across the bar, glanced up with sad, puppy dog-like eyes. “How about a penny for a shot? Or possibly a shot for a thought?”
Unable to face the possibility of going home and wallowing by herself, she had decided that wallowing at Joe’s would be much healthier.
‘Cause, y’know…alcohol.
“What’ll it be, my darling?” Joe knew the doctors working across the street well enough to figure out when their personal dramas required large amounts of alcohol.
Which seemed to be quite often, for most of them…
“Surprise me,” Arizona mumbled sadly. As soon as Joe placed the shot in front of her, she tipped it back in an instant, and nearly choked.
Wow. Okay. Wasn’t expecting whisky. But that would work.
“Keep ‘em coming, because I’m just sad and pathetic enough to need that right now,” she sighed.
Someone slid into the stool next to her, and she glanced over to see Lexi Grey looking about as happy as she felt right then. “Little Grey. Come join me in the stewing of self pain and pity. It’s awesome.”
“That’s the plan,” Lexi sighed, dumping her bag up on the bar counter in front of her. She stole one of the shots Joe placed in front of Arizona and threw it back with ease. “Mark is moving on. He wants a wife.”
“Callie wants babies,” Arizona replied.
Sharing a look, they clinked shot glasses and tipped those back as well.
***
Callie watched her...ex-girlfriend tip back another shot. Her dark brown eyes were clearly saddened as she wore a worried expression.
Arizona and alcohol were worse than oil and water. She had her thing with public speaking, and Arizona had her thing with drinking.
Both would end up puking uncontrollably before the night was over.
“I should go over there,” Callie suddenly stated to the two other members seated at the corner table with her. “Shouldn't I?”
“Absolutely not,” Yang answered.
“Of course you should,” Meredith spoke up at the exact same moment.
Meredith shot her best friend a look. “Of course she should. Look at her,” she pointed towards the blonde seated at the bar with her little half-sister. “She's obviously miserable.”
“Who's fault is that?” Yang reasoned as she tipped her beer bottle in the direction of the bar. “It's not like Callie asked her for a kidney. Just a child. Those are way easier to replace.”
“Cristina!” both women scolded.
“What?” Yang answered with a slight shrug. “It's true, isn't it?”
Callie just rolled her eyes with a slight shake of her head. Her gaze once again landed on her former lover. She chewed on her bottom lip. “I should go over there.”
Sloan arrived with drinks balanced in his arms for everyone. He handed them out and then slid into the booth next to Callie. “Bad idea, Torres,” he replied, reaching over to steal a french fry from Cristina. “If you go over there, then Lexi knows I’m not far behind, and I’m not up for girl drama tonight.”
“Ass,” Meredith mumbled under her breath.
“Watch how you talk to your superiors, Grey,” Mark warned in what was an attempted menacing tone. But Meredith just smirked back at him.
“I’m married to the Chief. So you can bite me.”
Cristina ignored those two and watched Callie watch Arizona. “She’s only been here an hour. There’s no way she’s had that much to drink.”
Across the bar, they watched as Arizona slid off of her stool, and then almost to the floor. Lexi reached out to steady her, and after a moment of regaining her balance, the attending swayed in the direction of the bar bathroom, using the counter and various chairs to support her as she went.
Cristina popped another fry into her mouth. “I stand corrected.”
“At least you can actually stand,” Meredith piped in. “Doesn't look like Arizona is fairing so well in that department.”
Callie slammed her hands down on the table before pushing herself up. “I'm going after her.” Mark reached up to place a quick hand on her arm.
“No, you're not.”
Meredith reached over and smacked him on the hand. “Yes, she is,” she stated firmly, slowly enunciating each word.
Sloan ignored the look as he turned his attention back to his best friend, and then looked over wistfully at the bar. “She's a big girl,” he reasoned. “She made her decision. Now she's gonna have to live with it.”
Meredith kept her gaze focused on the man. “Who exactly are you talking about there, Mark?”
Blue eyes cut towards the bar.
Lexi was hunched half-over the counter with a drunken hand idly stirring the straw in her drink, watching with rapt interest as the ice swirled in the liquid.
Who, indeed.
***
Inside the bathroom, Arizona was hunched over the sink with her head in her hands.
“Not gonna puke, not gonna puke, not gonna puke…” she chanted under her breath, wishing the world would stop spinning. Her eyes were closed, for craps sake, why was her head insisting on doing burnouts around the room?
She would have splashed some cold water on her face, but chances were she would miss and just get water all over her shirt.
Arizona’s eyes were still closed and she was still leaning over the sink; now confident she wasn’t going to throw up but waiting for the world to hold still, and therefore didn’t hear the door open.
Callie slowly stepped in, and her eyes instantly landed on the hunched form of her lover. She felt that pang in her chest again, swallowing back as she quickly made her way over. “Zona, what did you do?” she chided softly as she reached up to pull a few paper towels from the dispenser. She turned on the cold water in the nearest faucet before placing the towels beneath the stream.
“You know you can't do this,” Callie added softly after a moment. She squeezed her hand to drain the excess water from the material as she reached up with her other one to turn off the flow.
“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” Arizona mumbled, very slowly raising her head and trying to blink back some of the blurriness from her vision. “Figure if I can just…get down a few more…I’ll be unconscious for most of tomorrow.” That was the plan, anyway. She had been planning to spend her first day off in weeks with Callie, but that didn’t look like it was gonna happen any time soon.
She stood up straighter, swaying a little bit and keeping a good hold on the sink for balance. “’Mm good. Really.”
Her words were only a little slurred that time.
“Yeah,” Callie shot back. “Cause you so look it.” She reached out on instinct to place her hands on the other woman's hips to help steady her on her feet. “Here,” she added softly as she nodded towards the closest wall.
With a little difficulty, Callie lead the blonde over to slowly sit down with her back resting against the wall. She instantly dropped to her knees in front of her, reaching up to dab at Arizona's face with the wet paper towels.
She wanted to say something. Anything.
But what could she say that she hadn't already?
It was done. Over.
Her heart hurt a little at that.
Arizona sort of melted back against the wall, her legs grateful they didn’t have to support her weight any longer. She closed her eyes, the cool feeling of the paper towel more soothing than she would’ve liked to admit.
“Little Grey…I was just keeping her company,” Dr. Robbins reasoned, eyes still closed. “She’s all…sad over Mark moving on. I was being supportive.”
Yes, she felt totally pathetic, sitting down on a bathroom floor, drunker than Amy Winehouse, with the woman she was pining over cleaning her up.
Didn’t get much sadder than this.
Arizona finally opened her eyes, a deep sadness hidden in them. “I screwed it all up…I’m sorry.”
Why did Callie always have to look so beautiful? It was making this a thousand times harder.
Callie released a slow, weighted sigh as she continued to dab at the other woman's face. “It's not all your fault,” she finally replied softly, still not quite meeting those deep blue eyes. “It takes two to begin a relationship.” She paused a moment as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind Arizona's ear. “Takes two to end it,” she finished with a slight crack in her voice.
Callie's dark eyes finally did land on the soft blue gaze. She instantly felt the urge to cry, but pushed it down with a hard swallow. “It's nobody's fault,” she added softly. “We just...we want different things.” She dropped her hand away from the other woman's face, her gaze following to watch as her fingers played with the razzled paper towel. “Nobody's fault,” she repeated again, her voice barely audible.
Arizona wanted to believe that. She did. It sounded so…simple. They wanted different things for the future, so it couldn’t work.
But it wasn’t simple.
“I want you,” Arizona admitted in all honesty. “I’ve never wanted anyone more.” She swallowed back thickly, and reached out slowly to run a hand down Callie’s arm. “If my coordination wasn’t off, I would try to kiss you right now. But I might poke out an eye or…something, so…I won’t.” She smiled weakly, and dropped her arm away. “I’m still sorry. Didn’t want it to end like this.” Didn’t want it to end, period.
Callie looked up to meet those deep blue eyes.
Those eyes.
She took a breath as she paused to swallow back. “I want you, too,” she admitted softly. Her arm was still buzzing a little from where Arizona had just touched it a moment ago.
The longer she sat looking into those blue eyes, the braver she got. “And there's nothing wrong with my coordination.”
Callie leaned forward, closing her eyes...
And then they were kissing.
It wasn’t apparent to Arizona at first whether the kiss made her head spin more, or made it spin less.
Either way, she suddenly felt a lot less drunk.
The blonde leaned into it, bringing both hands up behind Callie’s neck to pull her closer.
It wasn’t lost on her that a year ago, she had walked into this very bathroom to kiss a very upset Calliope Torres. And now…
Well.
Now…
Now everything was so messed up. It had been barely over a year and they were already...
Here.
Wherever 'here' was.
Callie suddenly tore her lips away from the kiss just as her right hand began to wander down the front of Arizona's body. She was still gasping for a breath as she leaned her forehead against the other woman's. “We can't do this,” she whispered with a ragged breath. She blinked as she pulled in another labored breath.
“We...we gotta stop,” she added as she pulled back to put some space between them. She didn't move more than an inch.
It wasn't very much, but it was a start.
Callie's dark brow furrowed as her face twisted in agonizing indecision. “We...we need a clean...clean break.”
Yeah. Even she wasn't convinced by that one.
Arizona closed her eyes and fought back the tears that welled up behind them. She didn’t trust herself not to break down if she tried to speak, so instead she just nodded silently.
Somehow, the pain she had been drowning in alcohol earlier burst through full force, all at once.
“I-I have to…” Arizona scrambled to stand up, having a few issues with the whole gravity phenomenon as she scraped at the wall for balance. “I-I can’t…I have to go.”
Callie reached out to steady her by the shoulders with gentle hands. “It's okay,” she called softly as she tried to sooth the flailing blonde. “Hey, it's okay,” she tried again as Arizona continued to struggle.
A few more seconds of futile attempts to stand up passed, then Arizona finally gave up and collapsed into a spent heap back onto the floor. She buried her face in her hands and started to cry.
Callie instantly reached forward to pull the woman into her arms as her own tears began to fall freely.
---