[TWBI] Diplomatic Fumbles
Title: Diplomatic Fumbles
Series: That Would Be Illogical
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Rating: PG13
Length: 956
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Summary: This is not the first illogical action I have ever participated in because of James Tiberius Kirk. I doubt it will be the last. Masterlist
Previous: Birthday Gift
The small cave, merely 1.4 meters high, is dark but dusty and dry. Jim and I are crouched down a few meters from its entrance. It looks more like a long tunnel than a cave, and I find myself calculating the odds that someone or something will emerge from far within the cavern. Taking all variables into account, the odds are surprisingly in our favor for once. The natives are sky worshippers and life sign records on the planet's fauna show that any animal small enough to fit into the cave should pose no real threat.
I see Jim, who is kneeling down against the opposite wall, relax and lower his phaser, though he does not place it back on his belt. He is panting heavily from running around the jagged rocks and up steep slopes of these mountains. He is covered in a layer of brown dust and there is a rip on his shoulder from when he caught it on a spiked rock.
He looks over to me, and then glances down to himself. He gives as much of a smile as his heavy breathing will allow. "How do you always manage to come out of every chaotic and life-threatening event so fucking pristine?"
I glance down my person. While I would not say pristine, I am certainly covered in far less dirt with no rips to my uniform. "Perhaps I am just-"
There is a low growl and we both look back to see a large dog-like creature with both scales and fur emerging from the back of the cave.
As it always seems to occur with Jim, we have beaten the odds.
It pounces towards me and before I have time to aim my phaser away from the cave entrance, there is a flash of read, and it is dead before it hits the ground.
I turn to see Jim still cautiously holding his phaser towards it.
"I find that you are a continued hazard to my health."
"Me?" he says defensively. "This situation totally wasn't my fault."
"And yet you saw fit to molest the chief's daughter."
"Molest?" he snaps. "I didn't molest her."
"Given his reaction, I believe the chief would disagree with you."
He frowns. "I bowed. How was I supposed to know bowing was offensive? There was nothing in the cultural report that said bowing was off limits. And yes, I did actually read it."
I look back towards the entrance. "Indeed, it was never mentioned in the report made by the cultural observer," I conceded. "Bowing is by far one of the lest offensive things you have done."
"Yeah! Hey, I've been really good lately! There haven't been any horrible cultural incidents on any missions for almost a year." He suddenly gives a sly smirk. "And that last one? Totally not caused by me, Mr. Spock."
I shoot him a sharp look.
"I mean yeah, the queen was seriously hitting on me but it wasn't like I was encouraging her. It wasn't like she was really getting anywhere."
"You certainly were not discouraging her."
"Don't make it my fault. You nearly broke the woman's wrist."
I duck my head slightly. "I will admit it was a lapse in judgment. We both will need to learn to control our aggressiveness towards those who flirt with the other."
"We both? Why me?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Seeing as the only reason you chose to bow today was to stop yourself from punching the woman after you pulled me away from her-"
"She was rubbing against you like a cat in heat! I wasn't going to let her hand travel another inch up your thigh."
"Indeed, she was seriously hitting on me but it was not like I was encouraging her. It was not like she was really getting anywhere," I say in a mocking tone.
Jim tries to stop the grin growing on his face. "You certainly weren't discouraging her," he retorts in his own mocking tone.
We both look at each other amusingly. We allow the fact that we are both hypocrites to be left unsaid.
"Why is it when we go down to planets, you're hit on far more than I am?"
I consider the question a moment. "We frequently beam down to planets that are inhabited by incredibly intelligent beings. It is only logical that they would have impeccable taste in mates as well."
Jim scowls at me.
I feel the edge of my lips twitch up. "I do not see why you are upset. You share their taste, do you not?"
He smirks. "Does that mean I only get hit on by the barbaric and ignorant? If that's who finds me attractive, what does that say about you?"
It is my turn to glare. "I won't sit here and be insulted," I say only partially seriously as I start to move towards the entrance.
I feel Jim grab my collar and pull me over. I turn my head and find his lips meeting mine. He quickly deepens the kiss and the force causes me to loose my balance on my ankles and I land on my backside. He swallows my grunt and leans me back against the cave wall. His tongue tastes like the berries and nuts that we had been offered an hour ago before we were running for our lives.
"If this is your way of apology, you may need to insult me more often," I mumble against his lips.
He pulls away with a smirk. His grin soon turns into a frown and he tilts his head to the side, a thoughtful look in his eyes as he studies me.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Maybe it's the ears," he mutters.
Next: Heat
Series: That Would Be Illogical
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Rating: PG13
Length: 956
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Summary: This is not the first illogical action I have ever participated in because of James Tiberius Kirk. I doubt it will be the last. Masterlist
Previous: Birthday Gift
The small cave, merely 1.4 meters high, is dark but dusty and dry. Jim and I are crouched down a few meters from its entrance. It looks more like a long tunnel than a cave, and I find myself calculating the odds that someone or something will emerge from far within the cavern. Taking all variables into account, the odds are surprisingly in our favor for once. The natives are sky worshippers and life sign records on the planet's fauna show that any animal small enough to fit into the cave should pose no real threat.
I see Jim, who is kneeling down against the opposite wall, relax and lower his phaser, though he does not place it back on his belt. He is panting heavily from running around the jagged rocks and up steep slopes of these mountains. He is covered in a layer of brown dust and there is a rip on his shoulder from when he caught it on a spiked rock.
He looks over to me, and then glances down to himself. He gives as much of a smile as his heavy breathing will allow. "How do you always manage to come out of every chaotic and life-threatening event so fucking pristine?"
I glance down my person. While I would not say pristine, I am certainly covered in far less dirt with no rips to my uniform. "Perhaps I am just-"
There is a low growl and we both look back to see a large dog-like creature with both scales and fur emerging from the back of the cave.
As it always seems to occur with Jim, we have beaten the odds.
It pounces towards me and before I have time to aim my phaser away from the cave entrance, there is a flash of read, and it is dead before it hits the ground.
I turn to see Jim still cautiously holding his phaser towards it.
"I find that you are a continued hazard to my health."
"Me?" he says defensively. "This situation totally wasn't my fault."
"And yet you saw fit to molest the chief's daughter."
"Molest?" he snaps. "I didn't molest her."
"Given his reaction, I believe the chief would disagree with you."
He frowns. "I bowed. How was I supposed to know bowing was offensive? There was nothing in the cultural report that said bowing was off limits. And yes, I did actually read it."
I look back towards the entrance. "Indeed, it was never mentioned in the report made by the cultural observer," I conceded. "Bowing is by far one of the lest offensive things you have done."
"Yeah! Hey, I've been really good lately! There haven't been any horrible cultural incidents on any missions for almost a year." He suddenly gives a sly smirk. "And that last one? Totally not caused by me, Mr. Spock."
I shoot him a sharp look.
"I mean yeah, the queen was seriously hitting on me but it wasn't like I was encouraging her. It wasn't like she was really getting anywhere."
"You certainly were not discouraging her."
"Don't make it my fault. You nearly broke the woman's wrist."
I duck my head slightly. "I will admit it was a lapse in judgment. We both will need to learn to control our aggressiveness towards those who flirt with the other."
"We both? Why me?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Seeing as the only reason you chose to bow today was to stop yourself from punching the woman after you pulled me away from her-"
"She was rubbing against you like a cat in heat! I wasn't going to let her hand travel another inch up your thigh."
"Indeed, she was seriously hitting on me but it was not like I was encouraging her. It was not like she was really getting anywhere," I say in a mocking tone.
Jim tries to stop the grin growing on his face. "You certainly weren't discouraging her," he retorts in his own mocking tone.
We both look at each other amusingly. We allow the fact that we are both hypocrites to be left unsaid.
"Why is it when we go down to planets, you're hit on far more than I am?"
I consider the question a moment. "We frequently beam down to planets that are inhabited by incredibly intelligent beings. It is only logical that they would have impeccable taste in mates as well."
Jim scowls at me.
I feel the edge of my lips twitch up. "I do not see why you are upset. You share their taste, do you not?"
He smirks. "Does that mean I only get hit on by the barbaric and ignorant? If that's who finds me attractive, what does that say about you?"
It is my turn to glare. "I won't sit here and be insulted," I say only partially seriously as I start to move towards the entrance.
I feel Jim grab my collar and pull me over. I turn my head and find his lips meeting mine. He quickly deepens the kiss and the force causes me to loose my balance on my ankles and I land on my backside. He swallows my grunt and leans me back against the cave wall. His tongue tastes like the berries and nuts that we had been offered an hour ago before we were running for our lives.
"If this is your way of apology, you may need to insult me more often," I mumble against his lips.
He pulls away with a smirk. His grin soon turns into a frown and he tilts his head to the side, a thoughtful look in his eyes as he studies me.
I raise an eyebrow.
"Maybe it's the ears," he mutters.
Next: Heat