Transformers 2: Or, how to waste nine dollars and two and a half hours.
Good lord, what a colossal pile of shit... I feel ashamed to admit that I've actually paid to see both of these movies in theaters. Anyone thinking of seeing the new Transformers movie, I know I can't talk you out of it, but please, don't go. Or at least pay for something else and sneak in. Go see "Drag Me To Hell" or Star Trek or something, ANYTHING but this. This is the most retarded piece of shit I've ever paid good money for, it's like they spent hundreds of millions of dollars to make a shitty remake of the first one. The first movie wasn't very good, but at least it had that "new toy" feeling, like you were watching something you had never seen before. This one feels more like a toy you've had for a couple of weeks. You still play with it for five or ten minutes, but you're quickly bored and want to discard it for something newer and better. This movie is pointless, obnoxious, incoherent, racist, homophobic, predictable, and worst of all, BORING! How do you make a movie about giant alien robots boring? I don't know, but somehow they manage. There's no reason to see this movie, you're better off just staying home and watching the first one again, if that. And I know what you're thinking, "What about all those cool new robots from the trailer?" Yeah, well, they're only in it for about two minutes and then they die like little bitches. Or how about your favorite characters from the first, like Optimus? They're barely in it either, replaced by a bunch of new douches that you pray will catch a stray missile with their faces. This movie left me with the same feeling I had watching Speed Racer, nothing but flashy special effects, horrible writing and acting, and a dizzying sense that you have no fucking clue what the hell is actually happening on the screen.
P.S. Would it kill them to at least TRY to act like they're not already planning the sequel? Most of the bad guys just walk away with a "We'll meet again!" like an episode of Inspector Gadget!
P.P.S. Also, apparently the matrix of leadership is buried right next to the holy grail and the ark of the covenant. I was kind of hoping Shia and "what's her ass?" would bump into that old knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Now there was a decent sequel!
P.S. Would it kill them to at least TRY to act like they're not already planning the sequel? Most of the bad guys just walk away with a "We'll meet again!" like an episode of Inspector Gadget!
P.P.S. Also, apparently the matrix of leadership is buried right next to the holy grail and the ark of the covenant. I was kind of hoping Shia and "what's her ass?" would bump into that old knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Now there was a decent sequel!