I really like some of the imagery in this one. I'm glad you are turning the lines that are standing alone atm into stanzas.
Not a very happy poem. But I love the imagery particularly in:
'suicide overpasses and grey veins drizzling between the brick'
and
'dancefloor prayers and calm two-minute warnings'
its a return to your hollowsounding poetry, that your voice always seems really strong in.
Also while I'm writing an epic there are two ladies lifting a toddler(they took it out of the pram) and then the pram over the fence and across the train tracks outside my window. Aaaahhh the responsible parenting of Brisbane.... :|
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I really like some of the imagery in this one. I'm glad you are turning the lines that are standing alone atm into stanzas.
Not a very happy poem. But I love the imagery particularly in:
'suicide overpasses and grey veins drizzling between the brick'
and
'dancefloor prayers and calm two-minute warnings'
its a return to your hollowsounding poetry, that your voice always seems really strong in.
Also while I'm writing an epic there are two ladies lifting a toddler(they took it out of the pram) and then the pram over the fence and across the train tracks outside my window. Aaaahhh the responsible parenting of Brisbane.... :|
love
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Gidday-up
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