Musemuggers
Title: The American Experience
Author: keppiehed
Word Count: 580
Prompt: The Cetus
A/N: Written for Musemuggers, Challenge #521, Option #3 (The Cetus).
The American Experience
# 352:
The Constellation Cure
Transcript
originally aired 01.15.2011
Prologue
Eli Glazer The topic today is anger management. It’s a growing epidemic in our nation, one which the pharmaceutical industry has turned to its advantage in recent years. We are inundated with more ads for chemical complacency than at any other time in history. Is it a problem or our salvation? Are we products of our uncontrollable impulses? I seek to answer these questions today, so stay with us.
From WQXC in Chicago, this is The American Experience, distributed by Public Radio.
Act One
Eli Glazer Okay, so we know that humans are hard wired to respond to anger. Is that right?
Dr. Andres Shelling Yes. That’s correct.
Eli Glazer Do you think it’s fair to just medicate people on the chance that they might, sort of, freak out? Can’t people learn anger management?
Dr. Andrea Shelling In some cases, yes. But I think you’ll find that the response to anger is an ingrained one. It is almost an instinct at this point. We have found through case studies that it can’t be completely controlled.
Eli Glazer I assume you are referring to our panel. Welcome. Can you explain in your own words the events of the day of May first, 776 B.C.?
Act Two
Cassiopeia This lout tried to murder me and my daughter!
Poseidon I don’t try. I succeed. If I had wanted you dead, you would be.
Cassiopeia Are you threatening me? Did you hear that?
Andromeda Mom. Can you just ... not?
Eli Glazer Can you tell me what happened, specifically, that led to the constellating of the Cetus?
Andromeda It’s embarrassing. Can we just forget it?
Perseus Babe. It’s awesome. I am so the man. Let me tell it. So, I was riding Pegasus, and I totally saved her. You should have seen it! I had the head of the Gorgon-it was wicked nasty, there was blood everywhere-and so I had to keep my eyes closed-
Eli Glazer Did you say head?
Perseus Well, duh. How do you think you stone a Cetus? So, anyway-
Dr. Andrea Shelling As you can see, man is prone to his baser nature.
Poseidon Man? I am no man!
Cetus Can I talk?
Eli Glazer Please.
Cetus I’m not, I mean, I wasn’t, an angry fish. I don’t consider myself full of anger. I’m just saying. I’d like to clear that up.
Dr. Andrea Shelling But you did swallow Jonah?
Cetus No. That was my brother. And that was, like, Biblical days, anyway. And he didn’t even see Jonah.
Dr. Andrea Shelling Mm-hm.
Poseidon The Cetus has paid the price; he was constellated and has come to great glory. As have the others. Myself included. How is this a problem, in fact? It all worked out swimmingly, if you ask me. We’re all quite thrilled with the results.
Eli Glazer Is that true?
[INDISTINCT MURMURS]
Dr. Andrea Shelling Just because you’re happy, you can’t speak for everyone. Not everyone ends up in the stars, with their deeds romanticized and made into poems. We need our Prozac. We need Lithium.
Cetus I have post-nasal drip, so I could use an antihistamine, but otherwise I don’t need anything.
Eli Glazer We’re out of time. I’m Eli Glazer, and I’ll be back next week with more stories of The American Experience. Thanks for listening.
[ CLOSING MUSIC ]
Credits
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS]
The American Experience is distributed by Public Radio International.
Author: keppiehed
Word Count: 580
Prompt: The Cetus
A/N: Written for Musemuggers, Challenge #521, Option #3 (The Cetus).
The American Experience
# 352:
The Constellation Cure
Transcript
originally aired 01.15.2011
Prologue
Eli Glazer The topic today is anger management. It’s a growing epidemic in our nation, one which the pharmaceutical industry has turned to its advantage in recent years. We are inundated with more ads for chemical complacency than at any other time in history. Is it a problem or our salvation? Are we products of our uncontrollable impulses? I seek to answer these questions today, so stay with us.
From WQXC in Chicago, this is The American Experience, distributed by Public Radio.
Act One
Eli Glazer Okay, so we know that humans are hard wired to respond to anger. Is that right?
Dr. Andres Shelling Yes. That’s correct.
Eli Glazer Do you think it’s fair to just medicate people on the chance that they might, sort of, freak out? Can’t people learn anger management?
Dr. Andrea Shelling In some cases, yes. But I think you’ll find that the response to anger is an ingrained one. It is almost an instinct at this point. We have found through case studies that it can’t be completely controlled.
Eli Glazer I assume you are referring to our panel. Welcome. Can you explain in your own words the events of the day of May first, 776 B.C.?
Act Two
Cassiopeia This lout tried to murder me and my daughter!
Poseidon I don’t try. I succeed. If I had wanted you dead, you would be.
Cassiopeia Are you threatening me? Did you hear that?
Andromeda Mom. Can you just ... not?
Eli Glazer Can you tell me what happened, specifically, that led to the constellating of the Cetus?
Andromeda It’s embarrassing. Can we just forget it?
Perseus Babe. It’s awesome. I am so the man. Let me tell it. So, I was riding Pegasus, and I totally saved her. You should have seen it! I had the head of the Gorgon-it was wicked nasty, there was blood everywhere-and so I had to keep my eyes closed-
Eli Glazer Did you say head?
Perseus Well, duh. How do you think you stone a Cetus? So, anyway-
Dr. Andrea Shelling As you can see, man is prone to his baser nature.
Poseidon Man? I am no man!
Cetus Can I talk?
Eli Glazer Please.
Cetus I’m not, I mean, I wasn’t, an angry fish. I don’t consider myself full of anger. I’m just saying. I’d like to clear that up.
Dr. Andrea Shelling But you did swallow Jonah?
Cetus No. That was my brother. And that was, like, Biblical days, anyway. And he didn’t even see Jonah.
Dr. Andrea Shelling Mm-hm.
Poseidon The Cetus has paid the price; he was constellated and has come to great glory. As have the others. Myself included. How is this a problem, in fact? It all worked out swimmingly, if you ask me. We’re all quite thrilled with the results.
Eli Glazer Is that true?
[INDISTINCT MURMURS]
Dr. Andrea Shelling Just because you’re happy, you can’t speak for everyone. Not everyone ends up in the stars, with their deeds romanticized and made into poems. We need our Prozac. We need Lithium.
Cetus I have post-nasal drip, so I could use an antihistamine, but otherwise I don’t need anything.
Eli Glazer We’re out of time. I’m Eli Glazer, and I’ll be back next week with more stories of The American Experience. Thanks for listening.
[ CLOSING MUSIC ]
Credits
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS]
The American Experience is distributed by Public Radio International.