one | [ 3.16.11 ]keptdownMarch 17 2011, 01:24:12 UTC
Level: ♟. Friends.
❝I would rather have Suzaku at my side for the time being. I don't want my enemy with me, I want my confidant.❞
Suzaku isn't sure what to think, to be honest. He has a very, "Oh, he wants to try and repair this, doesn't he?" way of looking at it, though. As he sees it, if Lelouch is going to try then so is he. But, if Lelouch thinks this is going to be easy or go smoothly, then he has another thing coming. After all, Suzaku can be friends with him and still not trust him with all of his baggage or, essentially, his feelings. He isn't going to tell Lelouch that he didn't want him to die, that he wanted him to live and atone that way (much like he is, but hell if he's going to tell Lelouch that living more of a chore for him). He won't tell Lelouch that he misses him and that 'Suzaku' can't exist without him.
All because Lelouch wasn't willing to let him see his face in a weak moment over spilled coffee and careful words.
However, he will catch Lelouch before he hits the ground and he'll protect him when he
( ... )
two | [ 6.21.11 ]keptdownJune 21 2011, 19:35:39 UTC
Level: ✿. Trust.
❝Suzaku and I have been friends since childhood... I think we first met around age 10.❞
This is a very... very hard relationship for Suzaku to pin.
On one hand, Suzaku wants to protect Lelouch with all of his being. Lelouch dying by anyone's hands (even his own) hurts his heart like no one would believe, and the thought of Lelouch getting hurt makes want to pack up his things and either a) force himself into Lelouch's house, or b) move as far away as possible to distance himself from the amount of hurt he feels.
And, in a way, he has distanced himself from Lelouch since arriving in Somarium. He's takes measures to make sure he wouldn't have to see Lelouch unless completely necessary (because if he sees Lelouch, he has to see C.C., and then he has to go through seeing Nunnally, and that's nothing he wants to be responsible for), and while recently he went to the other for help, it didn't exactly... go well, in Suzaku's opinion. He made a mistake seeking Lelouch out for something, and he realized it too late
( ... )
two point one | [ 9.07.11 ]keptdownSeptember 8 2011, 03:08:09 UTC
Not much has changed since then.
They're not back to their former comradeship, and they're definitely not on their way there. Lelouch is someone who needs to be cherished and held close, and while Suzaku wants to be that person (platonically, not romantically; that's a line he'll probably never be willing to cross) he doesn't want either of them to get hurt. Lelouch is a Prince; Suzaku is not.
He's just that brown-haired, green-eyed Japanese kid that Lelouch met at the Kururugi Shrine. It could have been anyone other than him that Lelouch met that day and they wouldn't be in this situation.
Then again, Fate always has that way of showing Suzaku just how stupid he really is for thinking the way he does, optimistically or otherwise.
one | [ 3.18.11 ]keptdownMarch 18 2011, 21:34:40 UTC
Level: ♙. Friendly acquaintance.
❝I've looked enough into the heart of a man. I don't mind looking at other things.❞
It's hard to directly pinpoint how he feels because for him, feeling anything for this woman isn't something wise for him to do. The only thing that stops this from being 'trust', is the fact that he doesn't know her that well- or at all, for that matter! After all, all she is to him is Lelouch's confidant, and nothing more. As cruel as it is, they aren't close enough for him to think either way.
However, lately he's been favoring her company more than not. Or, at least more than he favors Lelouch's company. She's easier to talk to, even easier to get along with (because she knows and understands); and, while he has no obligation to her he finds her presence more of a comfort than an annoyance. In the future, she might become someone he'd go out of his way to be around, but right now she's just there when she is, not there when she's not. For now, that's enough. She remains a somewhat insufferable woman who
( ... )
one | [ 3.28.11 ]keptdownMarch 28 2011, 12:58:33 UTC
Level: ✿. Trust.
❝It seems that I'm at something of a disadvantage, Suzaku. It seems I've missed quite a bit.❞
This is... complicated by far.
On one hand, it's Schneizel el Britannia, who is always someone rather strange, his pleasantries always pleasant. And, on the other hand, it's Schneizel el Britannia, who is not his, making Suzaku too uneasy. He knows he has no reason to feel even the slightest uneasy (everything will work out just fine after all), but sometimes he can't help but wonder. Suzaku hides it well enough, keeping himself polite and in check
( ... )
one point one | [ 9.25.11 ]keptdownSeptember 26 2011, 01:04:38 UTC
Six months later and he can finally say -- without hesitating -- that he isn't uneasy anymore. Slightly nervous, perhaps, but he has grown used to Schneizel's presence again (used to having him there and within reach), and there's absolutely no question that Schneizel is far more important to him than most people are.
He's noticed that while Schneizel is indeed warm, there's always that part of him that can be cold; however, he's been nothing but pleasant and cordial the last six months, and Suzaku would like to keep it that way for as long as he can. Schneizel has taken the fact that Suzaku can never say no to someone in need (especially dead little girls) in stride, so that's definitely a plus. At least, enough of a plus that Suzaku firmly keeps his mouth shut about most things and opens his mouth for others.
One thing he keeps his mouth shut about: that he's no longer just willing to touch Schneizel, but that he actually wants to touch him. These times are mostly after dreams -- and after Schneizel woke up from that sleep
( ... )
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❝I would rather have Suzaku at my side for the time being. I don't want my enemy with me, I want my confidant.❞
Suzaku isn't sure what to think, to be honest. He has a very, "Oh, he wants to try and repair this, doesn't he?" way of looking at it, though. As he sees it, if Lelouch is going to try then so is he. But, if Lelouch thinks this is going to be easy or go smoothly, then he has another thing coming. After all, Suzaku can be friends with him and still not trust him with all of his baggage or, essentially, his feelings. He isn't going to tell Lelouch that he didn't want him to die, that he wanted him to live and atone that way (much like he is, but hell if he's going to tell Lelouch that living more of a chore for him). He won't tell Lelouch that he misses him and that 'Suzaku' can't exist without him.
All because Lelouch wasn't willing to let him see his face in a weak moment over spilled coffee and careful words.
However, he will catch Lelouch before he hits the ground and he'll protect him when he ( ... )
Reply
❝Suzaku and I have been friends since childhood... I think we first met around age 10.❞
This is a very... very hard relationship for Suzaku to pin.
On one hand, Suzaku wants to protect Lelouch with all of his being. Lelouch dying by anyone's hands (even his own) hurts his heart like no one would believe, and the thought of Lelouch getting hurt makes want to pack up his things and either a) force himself into Lelouch's house, or b) move as far away as possible to distance himself from the amount of hurt he feels.
And, in a way, he has distanced himself from Lelouch since arriving in Somarium. He's takes measures to make sure he wouldn't have to see Lelouch unless completely necessary (because if he sees Lelouch, he has to see C.C., and then he has to go through seeing Nunnally, and that's nothing he wants to be responsible for), and while recently he went to the other for help, it didn't exactly... go well, in Suzaku's opinion. He made a mistake seeking Lelouch out for something, and he realized it too late ( ... )
Reply
They're not back to their former comradeship, and they're definitely not on their way there. Lelouch is someone who needs to be cherished and held close, and while Suzaku wants to be that person (platonically, not romantically; that's a line he'll probably never be willing to cross) he doesn't want either of them to get hurt. Lelouch is a Prince; Suzaku is not.
He's just that brown-haired, green-eyed Japanese kid that Lelouch met at the Kururugi Shrine. It could have been anyone other than him that Lelouch met that day and they wouldn't be in this situation.
Then again, Fate always has that way of showing Suzaku just how stupid he really is for thinking the way he does, optimistically or otherwise.
our eternity has slipped through your fingers.
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❝I've looked enough into the heart of a man. I don't mind looking at other things.❞
It's hard to directly pinpoint how he feels because for him, feeling anything for this woman isn't something wise for him to do. The only thing that stops this from being 'trust', is the fact that he doesn't know her that well- or at all, for that matter! After all, all she is to him is Lelouch's confidant, and nothing more. As cruel as it is, they aren't close enough for him to think either way.
However, lately he's been favoring her company more than not. Or, at least more than he favors Lelouch's company. She's easier to talk to, even easier to get along with (because she knows and understands); and, while he has no obligation to her he finds her presence more of a comfort than an annoyance. In the future, she might become someone he'd go out of his way to be around, but right now she's just there when she is, not there when she's not. For now, that's enough. She remains a somewhat insufferable woman who ( ... )
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❝It seems that I'm at something of a disadvantage, Suzaku. It seems I've missed quite a bit.❞
This is... complicated by far.
On one hand, it's Schneizel el Britannia, who is always someone rather strange, his pleasantries always pleasant. And, on the other hand, it's Schneizel el Britannia, who is not his, making Suzaku too uneasy. He knows he has no reason to feel even the slightest uneasy (everything will work out just fine after all), but sometimes he can't help but wonder. Suzaku hides it well enough, keeping himself polite and in check ( ... )
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He's noticed that while Schneizel is indeed warm, there's always that part of him that can be cold; however, he's been nothing but pleasant and cordial the last six months, and Suzaku would like to keep it that way for as long as he can. Schneizel has taken the fact that Suzaku can never say no to someone in need (especially dead little girls) in stride, so that's definitely a plus. At least, enough of a plus that Suzaku firmly keeps his mouth shut about most things and opens his mouth for others.
One thing he keeps his mouth shut about: that he's no longer just willing to touch Schneizel, but that he actually wants to touch him. These times are mostly after dreams -- and after Schneizel woke up from that sleep ( ... )
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