Lost again
There's nothing like a rant about television at 9 in the morning.
Last night's episode didn't give me the same problems as Eko's episode. I'm having to admit that I don't like everyone on the island, and that some people annoy me. My euphoria over the first season, which I watched over four days on DVD, sort of clouded my judgement. I must admit that I don't really like Claire (her character is one-sided, paranoid and hypocritical), and I wish a painful set of boils on Michael. It's no secret that I think Ana-Lucifer is, well, the devil. And last night I was forced to accept the fact that Jack annoys me. I don't know whether he's always did, or whether it's been coming on slowly, but Jack annoys me. And his Jackback didn't help any last night.
So Steph called, and we watched it together. This always leads to amusing conversation. First of all, do they only have that one bunkbed? What's up with that? What's wrong with the top bunk? Does it have cooties?
"Somebody please hit Michael with a boot, or something." I said, as he frothed his way around the Hatch. It's obvious he's looney toons. Why put Jack and Locke in the closet (aside from obvious and very dirty! reasons)? Why not just take a gun and go? Why so melodramatic, Michael? Oh right. You're an "artist". My biggest problem with Michael is the fact that he's a jackass.
And speaking of Jack...I think some people find it sweet and endearing that he takes on the burdens of the world (read: sexy women) and makes them his own, and tries to fix and solve things. I don't. I find it monumentally annoying. "Perhaps he's a eunuch." Apparently put jack in a room with a heaving pair of tits and you could ask him to hand over his life savings. I mean, the old man asks for help and he's all "Uhhmmmm...geez....welll...you know...I don't think....ahhhhh...." but his nipply daughter leans forward a bit and begs for help and he's all, "Let's scrub in!"
And what about Jack's wife? What chance does she have to complain about anything in the relationship? "Jack! What's wrong with you? Can't you put the seat down for once in your life?" "Oh yeah, no. I'm too busy making your legs work." "Jack! Clean the kitchen!" "The game is on!" "Now!" "Listen, woman, I gave you legs and I can take them away just as easily!" She's screwed. It's that simple.
Also, Jack's strategy for dealing with crying women? Snog 'em. That's right. I can only assume that's his strategy for dealing with crying men as well. "Oh Jack," said Boone, "I'm dying." "Well, I can help you. *snog*" "Umm...wouldn't drugs or something be better?" "No. *snog*". Kate crying? Solution: snog. Wife crying? solution: Snog. Hot Italian chick with dead father crying? Solution: snog. Screw advanced medical techniques! Get a load of the Tongue of Destiny!
And then there's his petty jealousy over Sawyer's feelings for Kate. I mean, what did he expect? She was all over him like white on rice, but he's all, "No, baby, I gotta save everyone and be everyone's priest, leader, doctor, candlestick maker, baker, and mattress tester!" so she heads off to the sultry southern pastures of Sawyerland. And now he's all pissy? And what's with the whole "you can't come cause you're a girl" thing? Wassamatter, Jack? Jealous that she can track better, shoot better, and has better boobs? Feeling a little emasculated? Definitely a eunuch. He probably really misses his nads.
At least I am comforted by the fact that my Italian hasn't been that much lost. I was able to translate that dude's total shutdown of Jack's father. I translated it before the hot Italian chick! Right on. Anyway, Michael's off tooling in the undergrowth, whining about Walt, and I think that's a vast improvement. Now if they could just toss Ana-Lucifer off a cliff (or send her to jail for 18 months over a drunk driving charge), life on Lost island wouldn't totally suck!
Kate and Sawyer totally need to do it. In front of Jack. And then mock his total lack of nads.
Last night's episode didn't give me the same problems as Eko's episode. I'm having to admit that I don't like everyone on the island, and that some people annoy me. My euphoria over the first season, which I watched over four days on DVD, sort of clouded my judgement. I must admit that I don't really like Claire (her character is one-sided, paranoid and hypocritical), and I wish a painful set of boils on Michael. It's no secret that I think Ana-Lucifer is, well, the devil. And last night I was forced to accept the fact that Jack annoys me. I don't know whether he's always did, or whether it's been coming on slowly, but Jack annoys me. And his Jackback didn't help any last night.
So Steph called, and we watched it together. This always leads to amusing conversation. First of all, do they only have that one bunkbed? What's up with that? What's wrong with the top bunk? Does it have cooties?
"Somebody please hit Michael with a boot, or something." I said, as he frothed his way around the Hatch. It's obvious he's looney toons. Why put Jack and Locke in the closet (aside from obvious and very dirty! reasons)? Why not just take a gun and go? Why so melodramatic, Michael? Oh right. You're an "artist". My biggest problem with Michael is the fact that he's a jackass.
And speaking of Jack...I think some people find it sweet and endearing that he takes on the burdens of the world (read: sexy women) and makes them his own, and tries to fix and solve things. I don't. I find it monumentally annoying. "Perhaps he's a eunuch." Apparently put jack in a room with a heaving pair of tits and you could ask him to hand over his life savings. I mean, the old man asks for help and he's all "Uhhmmmm...geez....welll...you know...I don't think....ahhhhh...." but his nipply daughter leans forward a bit and begs for help and he's all, "Let's scrub in!"
And what about Jack's wife? What chance does she have to complain about anything in the relationship? "Jack! What's wrong with you? Can't you put the seat down for once in your life?" "Oh yeah, no. I'm too busy making your legs work." "Jack! Clean the kitchen!" "The game is on!" "Now!" "Listen, woman, I gave you legs and I can take them away just as easily!" She's screwed. It's that simple.
Also, Jack's strategy for dealing with crying women? Snog 'em. That's right. I can only assume that's his strategy for dealing with crying men as well. "Oh Jack," said Boone, "I'm dying." "Well, I can help you. *snog*" "Umm...wouldn't drugs or something be better?" "No. *snog*". Kate crying? Solution: snog. Wife crying? solution: Snog. Hot Italian chick with dead father crying? Solution: snog. Screw advanced medical techniques! Get a load of the Tongue of Destiny!
And then there's his petty jealousy over Sawyer's feelings for Kate. I mean, what did he expect? She was all over him like white on rice, but he's all, "No, baby, I gotta save everyone and be everyone's priest, leader, doctor, candlestick maker, baker, and mattress tester!" so she heads off to the sultry southern pastures of Sawyerland. And now he's all pissy? And what's with the whole "you can't come cause you're a girl" thing? Wassamatter, Jack? Jealous that she can track better, shoot better, and has better boobs? Feeling a little emasculated? Definitely a eunuch. He probably really misses his nads.
At least I am comforted by the fact that my Italian hasn't been that much lost. I was able to translate that dude's total shutdown of Jack's father. I translated it before the hot Italian chick! Right on. Anyway, Michael's off tooling in the undergrowth, whining about Walt, and I think that's a vast improvement. Now if they could just toss Ana-Lucifer off a cliff (or send her to jail for 18 months over a drunk driving charge), life on Lost island wouldn't totally suck!
Kate and Sawyer totally need to do it. In front of Jack. And then mock his total lack of nads.