(no subject)
I'm a little longwinded. I clearly haven't had enough turkey.
We said that we would break for the next 2 weeks, but I still can't get away from the feeling. I'm not sure it's possible to cut away 3 years of being together, it's a lot harder than I thought but I'm not trying too hard to cut the tie, in the first place.
So last night was a big step or metaphorically it was, anyway, because I don't really feel anything earth shattering. Not that I'm disappointed or anything. I mean on it's own, it was pretty much one of the best nights I've ever had, but that's really all it is and I think that's all I needed to find out. I don't think sex is really that different from person to person.. maybe not to me anyway, it's before and after that makes the experience different, at least when you're drunk anyway. I didn't have a hangover and I'm glad, it wasn't like I didn't like it, it was actually hot and I can see why some guys prefer to do it in that manner.
And I pause as Alex comes barging in and out of the room.. and there he goes.
Being in Detroit was awesome.. good timing, honestly, it was nice to be with my parents.. honestly, all I talk with Dad is hockey and for once, it was just good to have a conversation that was superficial and have someone not go crazy about what the hell's been going through my mind. I don't think anyone outside my mom really knows or frankly gives a shit about what's happening and stuff, and I like it that way.
I don't know if I'm trying to accomplish anything by writing it down, there's not much I have to say that's really awe-inspiring because who really has ever had that type of moment where you're sitting like a lazy ass and bam, the truth sits in front of you? I don't think I believe in epiphanies anymore, it's more like random realizations that may possibly fuck up your life if you want to ct on impulse. Maybe I do need some more time to sort through this shit, but I think maybe, I have an idea of what I want and I want need.. It's an idea anyway.
And Jason.. well god haven't I dug myself a deeper hole than I should have now? Apologizing doesn't really do anything, it never has. it's more of what you do because of the regret you feel or some shit like that. And I clearly need to work on that. So yeah.. just wanted to say I'm sorry for making this so complicated on you.
Oh yeah, thanksgiving and crap. I am thankful for:
my green fleece jacket
blond highlights
frothy cream on my hot chocolate
my puppies
awesome friends
my psp
that guy living in sweden
We said that we would break for the next 2 weeks, but I still can't get away from the feeling. I'm not sure it's possible to cut away 3 years of being together, it's a lot harder than I thought but I'm not trying too hard to cut the tie, in the first place.
So last night was a big step or metaphorically it was, anyway, because I don't really feel anything earth shattering. Not that I'm disappointed or anything. I mean on it's own, it was pretty much one of the best nights I've ever had, but that's really all it is and I think that's all I needed to find out. I don't think sex is really that different from person to person.. maybe not to me anyway, it's before and after that makes the experience different, at least when you're drunk anyway. I didn't have a hangover and I'm glad, it wasn't like I didn't like it, it was actually hot and I can see why some guys prefer to do it in that manner.
And I pause as Alex comes barging in and out of the room.. and there he goes.
Being in Detroit was awesome.. good timing, honestly, it was nice to be with my parents.. honestly, all I talk with Dad is hockey and for once, it was just good to have a conversation that was superficial and have someone not go crazy about what the hell's been going through my mind. I don't think anyone outside my mom really knows or frankly gives a shit about what's happening and stuff, and I like it that way.
I don't know if I'm trying to accomplish anything by writing it down, there's not much I have to say that's really awe-inspiring because who really has ever had that type of moment where you're sitting like a lazy ass and bam, the truth sits in front of you? I don't think I believe in epiphanies anymore, it's more like random realizations that may possibly fuck up your life if you want to ct on impulse. Maybe I do need some more time to sort through this shit, but I think maybe, I have an idea of what I want and I want need.. It's an idea anyway.
And Jason.. well god haven't I dug myself a deeper hole than I should have now? Apologizing doesn't really do anything, it never has. it's more of what you do because of the regret you feel or some shit like that. And I clearly need to work on that. So yeah.. just wanted to say I'm sorry for making this so complicated on you.
Oh yeah, thanksgiving and crap. I am thankful for:
my green fleece jacket
blond highlights
frothy cream on my hot chocolate
my puppies
awesome friends
my psp
that guy living in sweden