(no subject)
"The sun vanishes, sky darkens.
The world becomes peaceful and silent.
The cool wind, the stary sky, and just me."
I'm so very tired, exusted.
<
I didn't get the most restful of sleep, don't know why.
I cleaned the kitchens floor.
Picked up, sweeped, washed and rearaned.
Same in the bathroom, but that took far less time.
Gave the dog a bath, had one myself.
Took out like two full cans of trash and did the cat boxs up.
And now I am sitting here at nearly 10pm, highly depressed.
Mom saw a doctor at UC Davis cancer research place, he says its a slow growth cancer, and though it is in her lymphnoids, they can still remove it and buy her up to 5 years or even more.
She goes in on the 17th of July for the removel of the kidney. I have a feeling my sister is gonna have mom move in with her suddenly, which will not only keep me from seeing mom to often, it'll screw me out of a place to live. And yes, I do believe my sister would do this to me.
Looked over most the jobs avable from the local yokel newspaper, the majority of them are either teacher jobs (So I don't have the credentials for that) or shit jobs that'd put me in a bad place again, so go figure. I refuse to do shit like that again, suicidal enough the last time.
Talked to Ally tonight, was sorta strange to. Probably one of the triggers to my depression.. Though not knowing where my GF is and her hanging out at strange guys places all night as often as she has, does not help I'm sure.
Meh, I hurt to boot.
No clue what to do, so tired, but not enough to sleep or something.
To many worries I guess.
I havn't done anything worthwhile in life,
i havn't done anything grand,
still poor,
still miserble.
The hell is up with that?
Fucking drug users should be more miserble, they shouldn't have money, they should the ones struggling with so many thoughts and worries.
Bah, gotta find something to do to distract me.
The world becomes peaceful and silent.
The cool wind, the stary sky, and just me."
I'm so very tired, exusted.
<
I didn't get the most restful of sleep, don't know why.
I cleaned the kitchens floor.
Picked up, sweeped, washed and rearaned.
Same in the bathroom, but that took far less time.
Gave the dog a bath, had one myself.
Took out like two full cans of trash and did the cat boxs up.
And now I am sitting here at nearly 10pm, highly depressed.
Mom saw a doctor at UC Davis cancer research place, he says its a slow growth cancer, and though it is in her lymphnoids, they can still remove it and buy her up to 5 years or even more.
She goes in on the 17th of July for the removel of the kidney. I have a feeling my sister is gonna have mom move in with her suddenly, which will not only keep me from seeing mom to often, it'll screw me out of a place to live. And yes, I do believe my sister would do this to me.
Looked over most the jobs avable from the local yokel newspaper, the majority of them are either teacher jobs (So I don't have the credentials for that) or shit jobs that'd put me in a bad place again, so go figure. I refuse to do shit like that again, suicidal enough the last time.
Talked to Ally tonight, was sorta strange to. Probably one of the triggers to my depression.. Though not knowing where my GF is and her hanging out at strange guys places all night as often as she has, does not help I'm sure.
Meh, I hurt to boot.
No clue what to do, so tired, but not enough to sleep or something.
To many worries I guess.
I havn't done anything worthwhile in life,
i havn't done anything grand,
still poor,
still miserble.
The hell is up with that?
Fucking drug users should be more miserble, they shouldn't have money, they should the ones struggling with so many thoughts and worries.
Bah, gotta find something to do to distract me.