Wow, you pretty much feel the same way about your photography as I do about my writing. I used to be really proud of something upon finishing it, but then rereading it over time, I tend to slowly come to dislike it immensely until I get the urge to delete everything. At this point I'm pretty much convinced that I've retired from writing altogether. I don't really have a whole lot of inspiration anymore and the longer I go without writing anything, the less likely I feel that I'll ever do it again. How depressing lol
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And also can I just say that the sun is unbearably bright and harmful. Every time we do some outdoor adventure for Sunday Funday during the day, three hours in I'm literally blind because I can feel the goddamn sun burning my fucking retinas. It's so painful and awful lol.
haha dude you don't even know so okay. At Kohl's at night once the store is closed all the display lights turn off, and then once the day people leave and the perimeter alarm is set the ceiling lights turn off so that only one in every three rows stays on and it's still like bright and everything but it's really dim compared to when the store is open. So anyway like my eyes are so used to it being that way that sometimes if the perimeter isn't set right and the lights don't turn off, I'll go into the stockroom for a while and when I come back out onto the sales floor I instinctually expect it to be half as bright and I get such a fucking headache and it's ridiculous. It's funny cause it's just regular ass store lights but I've just worked there such a fucking long time that I'm programmed to prepare myself for the exact intensity when I come out of the stockroom and it totally fucks me up
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Yeah this feeling extends to writing, as well. I used to think I wanted to be a writer when I was a teenager, before I realized how easily photography came to me and how cathartic and fun it was. I don't have the creative stamina for writing. I always have gigantic elaborate ideas that would only be good as epic novels and I'lll go on a rampage and write like ten pages and then go to bed and by the next day I can't continue cause I'm like THIS WILL GO NOWHERE, YOU ARE TERRIBLE. And it's really frustrating because I feel like if I could push through that and finish something I'd feel really happy with it and have the motivation to edit and clean it up and everything. I mean every now and then I get in a writing mood and I'll take a whack at something but it just always withers and dies. And to be honest I'm the same with photo projects if they're too big. I think photography suits me because from start to finish on one particular shot is a pretty quick process and I like the instant gratification instead of slaving over a story for
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