LOG : you wanna get married : KAY + RAZ
Who; Kay and Raziel.
What; AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MARRIAGE.
When; Today.
Where; Kay's house.
Why; Because me and Elly are terrible people and enjoy a good laugh.
Warnings; Foul language! And a lot of retardation.
Raz had been a complete nervous wreck the whole day. He had ran numerous ideas of what he should say to her through his mind, but of course none of them sounded right. He didn't know how to do this. Could he do this? He wished he could have asked someone for help, but besides Tad, who else was there?
He'd thought about maybe not doing it for half of the day, but he'd already gotten the ring and he really did want to marry her. Or at least ask. He just didn't know what to do, what if he did something wrong? People should seriously write INSTRUCTIONS for this kind of thing.
Right then. He could do this. He could be a man. Totally. Standing up from the couch in the living room, ring in his pocket and heart in his throat, he poked his head into the hallway and called for her. "Kay?" He called. "Can you come here for a minute?" Did he sound nervous? He couldn't tell, but was hoping he didn't.
Raz had been acting weird lately, that's not to say she hadn't been acting a little strange as of late. Things were weird and she didn't want to bring them up in case she was just imagining things. She'd spent most of the day in her room but she wasn't avoiding him.
Okay. Maybe she was avoiding him. But only a little. That's not so bad, right?
When he called her name, she closed the book she'd been reading (yes, she reads) and padded downstairs, "Yeah?"
"Uh... can I talk to you for a minute?" He didn't want to say about what until she was sitting down, so he tried to make it sound like it was something important. He tried to smile a little bit even though he felt like he was going to die. "It's not anything bad. I just need to ask you about something."
"...uh huh."
She raised an eyebrow before stepped into the livingroom and sat on the arm of the couch, "If it's about paying rent or anything, you shouldn't worry about it. Place is paid for."
He laughed nervously at that. "Hahaha. No, it's not. Uh..." He sat next to her, looking at the floor for a minute. What should he say now? He had to lead into it, but how? Being a guy really sucks sometimes. And look at her. She's completely fucking oblivious.
"It's a little more serious than that," he said, scratching the back of his head.
Kay tilted her head and looked at him, "...oh. What's up then?"
He looked a little nervous so it had to be something important, but what would he be asking? She was starting to get a little paranoid, though it didn't show much.
"Uhhhh. Heh. It's, uh. Um." He stuttered helplessly for a few minutes, wringing his hands. After a bit, he took a deep breath and put his hands into his pockets so she couldn't see them shaking (and just to make sure the ring was still there -- call him paranoid).
"I've just... been thinking about stuff. Like, what happened at the Struggle, to my family. And... uh, heh. I started thinking about us, you know?" He scratched the back of his head again. That whole thing probably sounded really dumb.
...shit. That couldn't be good, could it? He probably had a lot to think about after the Struggle. His family was gone and that couldn't have been easy, he probably needed time to get his head clear. Probably needed space. If he needed space, what was she supposed to do? Give him space? She'd gotten so adjusted to sharing a bed and having someone next to her that the idea of him not being there just seemed... Not right.
But if he needed space...
"I-- Do you need space? I can give you space. I mean, if you need it, not that I'm saying you need it or anything just... If you do, you can have it."
That was probably the wrong thing to say but it had just come out.
"Huh? No, no! That's not what I meant. That's far from what I meant." The words were coming out of his mouth before he could even think about what he was saying. Then he paled a little as his brain started to catch up.
"-- er. Do you need space?"
She was panicking now, "What? No! I don't need space! I thought you needed space! So I was asking if..." Kay trailed off. "I sound like a complete idiot. Oh my god."
"Nah." I'm about to sound even more stupid than that, so hey. "I just, uh... I mean. I was thinking about how you're the only family I have now. That's -- that's not a bad thing. I'm really glad you're alive. Really. If something had happened to you..." He trailed off and let the thought end there.
"... you know I love you, right?" God, sappy sappy sappy. But it was true, and he wanted to tell her that first.
Thank god, a subject change. Still an awkward subject (she'd used the word "love" around him only a few times) but she could deal. "Yeah? And I love you, too. We've uhh... Gone over this before."
We've gone over this before? What kinda crap is that?
He sighed. She didn't get it. "I know. But I mean it. All this stuff made me realize that lately. And it got me thinking that I... I never wanna leave you, you know?" Again with the head scratch. "You know. I want to be with you forever, dumb and unrealistic as that sounds. You know what I mean?"
I am such a retard.
...
He was not doing what she thought he was doing. ...was he?
"...yeeeeah. I get it. I feel the same way, you know? I like having you around and everything, wouldn't be right without you here."
"Right. Well..." He cleared his throat. This was it. This was it. "I really mean all of that stuff. And listen... if you don't want to do this, it's okay. I understand. But I wanted to ask." He pulled the ring out of his pocket and held it out to her.
"I'm not getting on one knee, because that's just stupid." Not to mention totally Not Manly. "But I love you, and I want you to marry me."
Was she stunned? Or was she in shock? Awe? Flabbergasted?
Let's go with shock because she sure as hell didn't know what to say, she was just moving her lips with no sound coming out, she may have also forgotten how to breathe. She was sitting there, her jaw slightly dropped while she just stared.
He was serious. Completely fucking serious.
His hands were shaking badly now. Be a man, dammit! "I know, I know I'm too young to be thinking about this shit. But I don't know what's gonna happen in the future. And sure, I don't need this ring to prove that I love you. But I still want to do this before it's too late and I'm just wishing I had." He felt like he was going to be sick.
"-- unless you don't want to. That's okay. I can understand if you don't want to. It's a huge deal, we're young, and just -- yeah. It's okay if you don't."
Words. She needed words. Words that weren't uhm or ahh.
She would need a dress, wouldn't she? A white one. And flowers, weddings have flowers, don't they? And people to witness it? Oh god, was this what a heart attack was supposed to feel like?
She still needed words. And someone was supposed to walk her down the aisle, right? Not like her dad was around to do it...
Blink.
He really was the only family she had left. Just like she was the only family he had left.
Oh god. She was going to cry. Or be sick. One or the other.
He frowned as he was starting to panic. Really panic. "Come on, Kay," he said shakily, "say something to me. It doesn't have to be a yes or a no, hell, it can be something completely unrelated. But please say something so I can know how bad I fucked this up."
"Words are really hard, okay?! But it's not like I plan on saying no! Shit, Raz. Put a girl on a spot and..." Was she happy? She was definitely happy, right? It wasn't like she hadn't said it earlier. They were practically married. Why not go and make it official?
"For crying out loud..." She was going to cry. Kay didn't cry. Crying was a sign of weakness and... Fuck. She was going to cry. "You didn't fuck anything up." Her eyes were stinging and her voice had just cracked a little. Damn it.
He was still panicking. What was going ON, here? "What do you mean, put you on the spot? And why do you look like you're going to cry?"
"I don't know! It's just... Fuck. I'm turning into a girl! And you can't just... Ask someone to marry you and not expect them to be a little surprised!" She blinked out a few tears but immediately wiped them away, "I never got why people cried when they were happy but shit... I'm doing it!"
"I knew you'd be surprised but -- I mean, you're -- crying! That's surprising too, you know!" This was getting more awkward by the minute. He just didn't know what to say.
"Well it's not everyday someone asks me to marry them, alright?!" If she got any louder, it might be considered yelling. That was probably a bad idea. Don't yell at the guy asking you to marry him.
She sighed. "I'm okay, really. Just... Wasn't expecting you to think of something like this," Even though I was thinking about it.
He winced. "Yeah, well. I did." He waved the ring in front of her face. "Are you gonna take it or not?"
Oh shit. Right. There's a ring.
Kay took the ring and looked at it carefully before giving him a small smile. "You didn't even get me something girly. Least you know me well enough to think of something like that."
He shrugged and grinned sheepishly. "The simple ones were all nice. There were a lot that were just... way too decorative. I was almost blind just looking at them, heh."
She shook her head as she put on the ring -- Shit, which hand was it supposed to go on? The left one? -- She fumbled between hands before finally sliding the ring on her finger, it was a little big but nothing she couldn't fix. "...huh. S'pretty. Does it make me look like I'm spoken for?"
He was a little lost in thought, extremely happy that she agreed (and found himself wondering why the fuck he thought she wouldn't). "... sorry, what'd you say?" He was probably grinning like an idiot but he didn't care.
She nudged him with her elbow, "Way to listen to your fianceé, ace."
...fianceé. She liked the sound of that.
Fianceé. That made him smile even wider, if it were possible. "Heh. Yeah."
Then he had a sudden realization. "... what's the Order gonna say, you think?"
"Ten munny says Fer'll laugh then forget what he was laughing about. Then suggest we all take a nap."
Kay let her head drop to rest on his shoulder, "Knowing them, they probably already knew. Had a pool going an everything."
"Ferian would. And... yeah, they probably did." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"So, uh. Are you gonna wear the dress and everything?"
She laughed quietly, "Guess I have to, weddings being a big fancy occasion and all. I'd hate to be under-dressed at my own party."
"Haha. Right." He wasn't nervous now, just excited. "When d'you wanna have it? I didn't, uh... you know... set anything up, really. Since, you know. Anyway."
"Do I look like I think things through? I got enough scars to prove that's not the case. I figure ... We can just ... Roll with it?" She made a face, "No need to work out the details this instant, just let it all fall into place."
He shrugged. "Yeah, okay. I can do that." He was already thinking ahead, being eager and all. Wow. It's really going to happen. Yeah, the ceremony'll be pretty good. And then afterwards, we -- ...........................................................................
Oh. Shit.
What; AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MARRIAGE.
When; Today.
Where; Kay's house.
Why; Because me and Elly are terrible people and enjoy a good laugh.
Warnings; Foul language! And a lot of retardation.
Raz had been a complete nervous wreck the whole day. He had ran numerous ideas of what he should say to her through his mind, but of course none of them sounded right. He didn't know how to do this. Could he do this? He wished he could have asked someone for help, but besides Tad, who else was there?
He'd thought about maybe not doing it for half of the day, but he'd already gotten the ring and he really did want to marry her. Or at least ask. He just didn't know what to do, what if he did something wrong? People should seriously write INSTRUCTIONS for this kind of thing.
Right then. He could do this. He could be a man. Totally. Standing up from the couch in the living room, ring in his pocket and heart in his throat, he poked his head into the hallway and called for her. "Kay?" He called. "Can you come here for a minute?" Did he sound nervous? He couldn't tell, but was hoping he didn't.
Raz had been acting weird lately, that's not to say she hadn't been acting a little strange as of late. Things were weird and she didn't want to bring them up in case she was just imagining things. She'd spent most of the day in her room but she wasn't avoiding him.
Okay. Maybe she was avoiding him. But only a little. That's not so bad, right?
When he called her name, she closed the book she'd been reading (yes, she reads) and padded downstairs, "Yeah?"
"Uh... can I talk to you for a minute?" He didn't want to say about what until she was sitting down, so he tried to make it sound like it was something important. He tried to smile a little bit even though he felt like he was going to die. "It's not anything bad. I just need to ask you about something."
"...uh huh."
She raised an eyebrow before stepped into the livingroom and sat on the arm of the couch, "If it's about paying rent or anything, you shouldn't worry about it. Place is paid for."
He laughed nervously at that. "Hahaha. No, it's not. Uh..." He sat next to her, looking at the floor for a minute. What should he say now? He had to lead into it, but how? Being a guy really sucks sometimes. And look at her. She's completely fucking oblivious.
"It's a little more serious than that," he said, scratching the back of his head.
Kay tilted her head and looked at him, "...oh. What's up then?"
He looked a little nervous so it had to be something important, but what would he be asking? She was starting to get a little paranoid, though it didn't show much.
"Uhhhh. Heh. It's, uh. Um." He stuttered helplessly for a few minutes, wringing his hands. After a bit, he took a deep breath and put his hands into his pockets so she couldn't see them shaking (and just to make sure the ring was still there -- call him paranoid).
"I've just... been thinking about stuff. Like, what happened at the Struggle, to my family. And... uh, heh. I started thinking about us, you know?" He scratched the back of his head again. That whole thing probably sounded really dumb.
...shit. That couldn't be good, could it? He probably had a lot to think about after the Struggle. His family was gone and that couldn't have been easy, he probably needed time to get his head clear. Probably needed space. If he needed space, what was she supposed to do? Give him space? She'd gotten so adjusted to sharing a bed and having someone next to her that the idea of him not being there just seemed... Not right.
But if he needed space...
"I-- Do you need space? I can give you space. I mean, if you need it, not that I'm saying you need it or anything just... If you do, you can have it."
That was probably the wrong thing to say but it had just come out.
"Huh? No, no! That's not what I meant. That's far from what I meant." The words were coming out of his mouth before he could even think about what he was saying. Then he paled a little as his brain started to catch up.
"-- er. Do you need space?"
She was panicking now, "What? No! I don't need space! I thought you needed space! So I was asking if..." Kay trailed off. "I sound like a complete idiot. Oh my god."
"Nah." I'm about to sound even more stupid than that, so hey. "I just, uh... I mean. I was thinking about how you're the only family I have now. That's -- that's not a bad thing. I'm really glad you're alive. Really. If something had happened to you..." He trailed off and let the thought end there.
"... you know I love you, right?" God, sappy sappy sappy. But it was true, and he wanted to tell her that first.
Thank god, a subject change. Still an awkward subject (she'd used the word "love" around him only a few times) but she could deal. "Yeah? And I love you, too. We've uhh... Gone over this before."
We've gone over this before? What kinda crap is that?
He sighed. She didn't get it. "I know. But I mean it. All this stuff made me realize that lately. And it got me thinking that I... I never wanna leave you, you know?" Again with the head scratch. "You know. I want to be with you forever, dumb and unrealistic as that sounds. You know what I mean?"
I am such a retard.
...
He was not doing what she thought he was doing. ...was he?
"...yeeeeah. I get it. I feel the same way, you know? I like having you around and everything, wouldn't be right without you here."
"Right. Well..." He cleared his throat. This was it. This was it. "I really mean all of that stuff. And listen... if you don't want to do this, it's okay. I understand. But I wanted to ask." He pulled the ring out of his pocket and held it out to her.
"I'm not getting on one knee, because that's just stupid." Not to mention totally Not Manly. "But I love you, and I want you to marry me."
Was she stunned? Or was she in shock? Awe? Flabbergasted?
Let's go with shock because she sure as hell didn't know what to say, she was just moving her lips with no sound coming out, she may have also forgotten how to breathe. She was sitting there, her jaw slightly dropped while she just stared.
He was serious. Completely fucking serious.
His hands were shaking badly now. Be a man, dammit! "I know, I know I'm too young to be thinking about this shit. But I don't know what's gonna happen in the future. And sure, I don't need this ring to prove that I love you. But I still want to do this before it's too late and I'm just wishing I had." He felt like he was going to be sick.
"-- unless you don't want to. That's okay. I can understand if you don't want to. It's a huge deal, we're young, and just -- yeah. It's okay if you don't."
Words. She needed words. Words that weren't uhm or ahh.
She would need a dress, wouldn't she? A white one. And flowers, weddings have flowers, don't they? And people to witness it? Oh god, was this what a heart attack was supposed to feel like?
She still needed words. And someone was supposed to walk her down the aisle, right? Not like her dad was around to do it...
Blink.
He really was the only family she had left. Just like she was the only family he had left.
Oh god. She was going to cry. Or be sick. One or the other.
He frowned as he was starting to panic. Really panic. "Come on, Kay," he said shakily, "say something to me. It doesn't have to be a yes or a no, hell, it can be something completely unrelated. But please say something so I can know how bad I fucked this up."
"Words are really hard, okay?! But it's not like I plan on saying no! Shit, Raz. Put a girl on a spot and..." Was she happy? She was definitely happy, right? It wasn't like she hadn't said it earlier. They were practically married. Why not go and make it official?
"For crying out loud..." She was going to cry. Kay didn't cry. Crying was a sign of weakness and... Fuck. She was going to cry. "You didn't fuck anything up." Her eyes were stinging and her voice had just cracked a little. Damn it.
He was still panicking. What was going ON, here? "What do you mean, put you on the spot? And why do you look like you're going to cry?"
"I don't know! It's just... Fuck. I'm turning into a girl! And you can't just... Ask someone to marry you and not expect them to be a little surprised!" She blinked out a few tears but immediately wiped them away, "I never got why people cried when they were happy but shit... I'm doing it!"
"I knew you'd be surprised but -- I mean, you're -- crying! That's surprising too, you know!" This was getting more awkward by the minute. He just didn't know what to say.
"Well it's not everyday someone asks me to marry them, alright?!" If she got any louder, it might be considered yelling. That was probably a bad idea. Don't yell at the guy asking you to marry him.
She sighed. "I'm okay, really. Just... Wasn't expecting you to think of something like this," Even though I was thinking about it.
He winced. "Yeah, well. I did." He waved the ring in front of her face. "Are you gonna take it or not?"
Oh shit. Right. There's a ring.
Kay took the ring and looked at it carefully before giving him a small smile. "You didn't even get me something girly. Least you know me well enough to think of something like that."
He shrugged and grinned sheepishly. "The simple ones were all nice. There were a lot that were just... way too decorative. I was almost blind just looking at them, heh."
She shook her head as she put on the ring -- Shit, which hand was it supposed to go on? The left one? -- She fumbled between hands before finally sliding the ring on her finger, it was a little big but nothing she couldn't fix. "...huh. S'pretty. Does it make me look like I'm spoken for?"
He was a little lost in thought, extremely happy that she agreed (and found himself wondering why the fuck he thought she wouldn't). "... sorry, what'd you say?" He was probably grinning like an idiot but he didn't care.
She nudged him with her elbow, "Way to listen to your fianceé, ace."
...fianceé. She liked the sound of that.
Fianceé. That made him smile even wider, if it were possible. "Heh. Yeah."
Then he had a sudden realization. "... what's the Order gonna say, you think?"
"Ten munny says Fer'll laugh then forget what he was laughing about. Then suggest we all take a nap."
Kay let her head drop to rest on his shoulder, "Knowing them, they probably already knew. Had a pool going an everything."
"Ferian would. And... yeah, they probably did." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"So, uh. Are you gonna wear the dress and everything?"
She laughed quietly, "Guess I have to, weddings being a big fancy occasion and all. I'd hate to be under-dressed at my own party."
"Haha. Right." He wasn't nervous now, just excited. "When d'you wanna have it? I didn't, uh... you know... set anything up, really. Since, you know. Anyway."
"Do I look like I think things through? I got enough scars to prove that's not the case. I figure ... We can just ... Roll with it?" She made a face, "No need to work out the details this instant, just let it all fall into place."
He shrugged. "Yeah, okay. I can do that." He was already thinking ahead, being eager and all. Wow. It's really going to happen. Yeah, the ceremony'll be pretty good. And then afterwards, we -- ...........................................................................
Oh. Shit.