tragedy
rating: pg-13
pairing: yoochun/changmin
length: ~1900 wc
warnings: character death
Changmin-ah he chimes, meet me after school? and you nod because even though you’ve never worked up the nerve to talk to Yoochun much, you’ve never been able to say no to him either. (You’ve never wanted to say no to him).
You meet him in the park by the school at eight in the evening-sun already down, after school cram classes over (finally). He’s sitting on one of the swings, smiling up at you as you arrive (and his eyes are like the pure, unadulterated sunshine you could never quite see through a school window, blocked for the most part by tree leaves for the last several years).
He walks up to you slowly and you feel your heart pounding, racing, drowning in fear and excitement. He takes your trembling hand in his and looks down at it, tracing absent-minded patters on the soft skin.
I have something to confess, Changmin-ah he murmurs, oh so sweet. I’m in love with you he says, simple as that. He says it in a way that is such a jarring juxtaposition to the messy flood of things you feel. You feel like the very earth has been pulled out from beneath your sneakered feet. You feel like your heart has dropped to your stomach and like it has risen into your throat at the same time.
I’m really really in love with you he says again, and your tongue feels numb.
But suddenly nothing matters, nothing at all even fucking matters because this is what you have not dared to dream in your wildest midday fantasies. This is the boy you have looked at longingly since age ten telling you he is in love with you and all you can do is stutter past your chapped lips Yoochun-ah, I…I love you too. I think I’ve loved you for a long time and he smiles even brighter than before (and that shouldn’t be possible, it shouldn’t even be fucking possible) but he does, and every crack in your tired heart mends, builds anew, and sings in a choir of angels.
And neither of you really know what love is at this point because you are sixteen and inexperienced and innocent, but you both feel like this is the ultimate happiness and that’s all that matters. You both giggle shyly and the newfound knowledge of shared infatuation and grip each other’s hands a little tighter. It’s awkward, it’s incredible, it’s full of the innocence of youth and you don’t care what anyone says, ever, because you are in love.
He steps a bit closer and looks into your eyes (later he’d tell you he’d always loved your eyes and how warm and deep they were) as if asking for permission and you nod. He closes the space between your equally slender bodies and hugs you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head against your chest. I’m so happy he whispers, and you hug him back.
From then on you spend time with him nearly every day after school and the fluttering in your chest doesn’t subside-not a week later, not two weeks later, especially not three weeks later when he takes you on a picnic in a secluded spot he’d never shown anyone before, not even his precious younger brother. He takes you there and feeds you the kimbap he made himself (he tells you he tried a million times but it’s still nowhere near as good as his mom’s and you don’t care, you just don’t care because he made this for you). He feeds you piece after piece and you tell him to eat, too, and he shakes his head no because he wanted to make you feel special. You think you’re about to cry from the overwhelming feelings of joy when he presses his lips against yours. Your hands tangle gently in the front of his shirt and it’s so saccharine sweet the way he glides his lips over yours, trembling and nervous and perfect so perfect all the same.
Changmin-ah he breathes against your lips and you whimper because your brain is on fire and your limbs are frozen and everything is happening at once. He pulls back and breathes, breathes in deep, and leans his forehead against yours and your noses brush gently against one another’s. And you wonder what exactly this is, what in the world could this be?
Changmin-ah, I love you so much he whispers.
I love you, too you answer, because finally, it all makes sense.
He walks you halfway home that night and waves goodbye and you watch him turn around and leave with a smile on your face.
A love like yours should have lasted an eternity. It should have gone down in history as the greatest love of a generation for all the successive ones to envy. It should have been prized, cherished, championed and celebrated.
But such was not the fate of your love.
Disgusting, she spits. I’m disgusted, Changmin. What did I do wrong to deserve a son like you?
Mother, please you begin to beg but she’s having none of it.
Filthy child! she shrieks. You are to stop seeing him at once. Everything must stop.
And you suppose you should be grateful that at least she’s not kicking you at, at least you’ll still have a roof over your head but it’s hard (no, it’s not hard, it’s damn near impossible) to be grateful when you realize you’ve just lost the only thing that makes you truly happy.
Yes mother, you say, because you can say nothing else.
You cry into his embrace the next day. You tell him you’re sorry, you’re so so sorry and he holds you. Changmin-ah… he says because he doesn’t know what else to say.
You sniffle and hold your head up long enough to blurt Do…do you still love me? and suddenly a fiery determination replaces the look of despondency on his face and he kisses you, just kisses you until you can’t think anymore. You clutch at his collar and your fingers start to move on their own. They snap open the first button, the second, the third and you’re feeling him in places and in ways you have never felt him before. He doesn’t stop you, nor does he stop kissing you. He delves his tongue past your lips and just feels you around him, on him, inside his head.
He says I will always love you. and you know that together, the two of you will get through this.
When you graduate high school you get into university on full scholarship and you bid farewell to your parents. They don’t so much as spare a glance.
You get a part-time job so you can get an apartment and you ask Yoochun to move in with you and he does.
You break in your new home by making love on every surface and drinking until your drunk enough to do it all again.
And you love him, he loves you, you are in love, and it is still as wonderful as the very first day.
Yoochun gets a job too, a full-time position at an uncle’s music shop, so he doesn’t go to university. You don’t mind at all. You love it. You love how he comes home later than you and you can welcome him back with open arms and a kiss and when you’re feeling extra good, a neck rub. He loves that he can come home to you and see your smile.
Sometimes you start to panic because your grades are slipping because a class is too hard and you’re trying but you just can’t seem to get it like everyone else does. Sometimes the pressure of having to maintain a GPA so that your scholarship doesn’t get rescinded becomes too much and you just want to burn all your textbooks and dive under the covers and shut the world out and curl into Yoochun because that’s the only place that’s safe.
He finds you with your head between your knees in the corner of the bedroom and he puts on his bravest face for you. He pries your hands off the top of your head and kisses each fingertip and gathers you into his lap.
Changmin-ah, he says, and it’s so sweet, just like the first time. I love you. No matter what happens, I will help you through it.
And so you kiss him gently and let yourself be rocked back to sanity, back to the calm that is expected of you but that only he can bring back.
And you let him pick you up and dust you off and quiz you over the terms for tomorrow’s test.
He rewards you for all correct answers with kisses all across your chest and a long, bubbly bath.
It’s a sunny spring day and you’re enjoying a lunch break with your classmates when your world shatters.
A number you don’t know is calling your phone and you raise an eyebrow in suspicion before excusing yourself to answer it.
Your number was found in the wallet of a man named Park Yoochun. He was in a taxi that got hit by an 18-wheeler and is in the hospital a man’s voice says.
You cry at his bedside for hours. You beg him to open his eyes and look at you. You plead with God, the devil, and any and all otherworldly being that might be listening to take you instead. You kiss every part of his body that isn’t covered by bloody bandages, then you kiss those parts too. You shed tears until you are dehydrated and still, he does not wake.
A doctor comes in and tells you the only items found at the time of the accident were these and a fresh wave of sobs wracks your body as you see the third anniversary card and a ring. He was going to propose.
The monitor flat-lines and they haul you out so they can prepare to clean the room for the next patient.
To: Changmin-ah♥
Happy third anniversary ^_^ I love telling you I love you, but I think I say it too much because now I don’t think it says enough!!
But, hmm…how else should I say it?
When I wake up to you in the morning, I thank God. I never really believed in God, but then we became a couple and I was grateful every day.
When you smile at me, my heart still clenches with joy. Did you know that? Even after three years…you still have this effect on me!!!
When I come home to you, and you’re there at the table in my old t-shirt and my old, ratty sweatpants I think you are the most handsome, most angelic man on earth. I mean it. I can’t explain this!!! I think love just does weird things to me ^_^
The things that you have done for me…to show me you care, to try to please me…they go beyond what I ever thought I deserved.
You make life worth living.
Happy third anniversary, my dearest Changmin, the love of my life.
Will you spend the rest of my life with me?.
a/n: :( 4/5 tvxq/jyj members being in the army makes me sad. happy thanksgiving :(
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leave me a prompt!
pairing: yoochun/changmin
length: ~1900 wc
warnings: character death
Changmin-ah he chimes, meet me after school? and you nod because even though you’ve never worked up the nerve to talk to Yoochun much, you’ve never been able to say no to him either. (You’ve never wanted to say no to him).
You meet him in the park by the school at eight in the evening-sun already down, after school cram classes over (finally). He’s sitting on one of the swings, smiling up at you as you arrive (and his eyes are like the pure, unadulterated sunshine you could never quite see through a school window, blocked for the most part by tree leaves for the last several years).
He walks up to you slowly and you feel your heart pounding, racing, drowning in fear and excitement. He takes your trembling hand in his and looks down at it, tracing absent-minded patters on the soft skin.
I have something to confess, Changmin-ah he murmurs, oh so sweet. I’m in love with you he says, simple as that. He says it in a way that is such a jarring juxtaposition to the messy flood of things you feel. You feel like the very earth has been pulled out from beneath your sneakered feet. You feel like your heart has dropped to your stomach and like it has risen into your throat at the same time.
I’m really really in love with you he says again, and your tongue feels numb.
But suddenly nothing matters, nothing at all even fucking matters because this is what you have not dared to dream in your wildest midday fantasies. This is the boy you have looked at longingly since age ten telling you he is in love with you and all you can do is stutter past your chapped lips Yoochun-ah, I…I love you too. I think I’ve loved you for a long time and he smiles even brighter than before (and that shouldn’t be possible, it shouldn’t even be fucking possible) but he does, and every crack in your tired heart mends, builds anew, and sings in a choir of angels.
And neither of you really know what love is at this point because you are sixteen and inexperienced and innocent, but you both feel like this is the ultimate happiness and that’s all that matters. You both giggle shyly and the newfound knowledge of shared infatuation and grip each other’s hands a little tighter. It’s awkward, it’s incredible, it’s full of the innocence of youth and you don’t care what anyone says, ever, because you are in love.
He steps a bit closer and looks into your eyes (later he’d tell you he’d always loved your eyes and how warm and deep they were) as if asking for permission and you nod. He closes the space between your equally slender bodies and hugs you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head against your chest. I’m so happy he whispers, and you hug him back.
From then on you spend time with him nearly every day after school and the fluttering in your chest doesn’t subside-not a week later, not two weeks later, especially not three weeks later when he takes you on a picnic in a secluded spot he’d never shown anyone before, not even his precious younger brother. He takes you there and feeds you the kimbap he made himself (he tells you he tried a million times but it’s still nowhere near as good as his mom’s and you don’t care, you just don’t care because he made this for you). He feeds you piece after piece and you tell him to eat, too, and he shakes his head no because he wanted to make you feel special. You think you’re about to cry from the overwhelming feelings of joy when he presses his lips against yours. Your hands tangle gently in the front of his shirt and it’s so saccharine sweet the way he glides his lips over yours, trembling and nervous and perfect so perfect all the same.
Changmin-ah he breathes against your lips and you whimper because your brain is on fire and your limbs are frozen and everything is happening at once. He pulls back and breathes, breathes in deep, and leans his forehead against yours and your noses brush gently against one another’s. And you wonder what exactly this is, what in the world could this be?
Changmin-ah, I love you so much he whispers.
I love you, too you answer, because finally, it all makes sense.
He walks you halfway home that night and waves goodbye and you watch him turn around and leave with a smile on your face.
A love like yours should have lasted an eternity. It should have gone down in history as the greatest love of a generation for all the successive ones to envy. It should have been prized, cherished, championed and celebrated.
But such was not the fate of your love.
Disgusting, she spits. I’m disgusted, Changmin. What did I do wrong to deserve a son like you?
Mother, please you begin to beg but she’s having none of it.
Filthy child! she shrieks. You are to stop seeing him at once. Everything must stop.
And you suppose you should be grateful that at least she’s not kicking you at, at least you’ll still have a roof over your head but it’s hard (no, it’s not hard, it’s damn near impossible) to be grateful when you realize you’ve just lost the only thing that makes you truly happy.
Yes mother, you say, because you can say nothing else.
You cry into his embrace the next day. You tell him you’re sorry, you’re so so sorry and he holds you. Changmin-ah… he says because he doesn’t know what else to say.
You sniffle and hold your head up long enough to blurt Do…do you still love me? and suddenly a fiery determination replaces the look of despondency on his face and he kisses you, just kisses you until you can’t think anymore. You clutch at his collar and your fingers start to move on their own. They snap open the first button, the second, the third and you’re feeling him in places and in ways you have never felt him before. He doesn’t stop you, nor does he stop kissing you. He delves his tongue past your lips and just feels you around him, on him, inside his head.
He says I will always love you. and you know that together, the two of you will get through this.
When you graduate high school you get into university on full scholarship and you bid farewell to your parents. They don’t so much as spare a glance.
You get a part-time job so you can get an apartment and you ask Yoochun to move in with you and he does.
You break in your new home by making love on every surface and drinking until your drunk enough to do it all again.
And you love him, he loves you, you are in love, and it is still as wonderful as the very first day.
Yoochun gets a job too, a full-time position at an uncle’s music shop, so he doesn’t go to university. You don’t mind at all. You love it. You love how he comes home later than you and you can welcome him back with open arms and a kiss and when you’re feeling extra good, a neck rub. He loves that he can come home to you and see your smile.
Sometimes you start to panic because your grades are slipping because a class is too hard and you’re trying but you just can’t seem to get it like everyone else does. Sometimes the pressure of having to maintain a GPA so that your scholarship doesn’t get rescinded becomes too much and you just want to burn all your textbooks and dive under the covers and shut the world out and curl into Yoochun because that’s the only place that’s safe.
He finds you with your head between your knees in the corner of the bedroom and he puts on his bravest face for you. He pries your hands off the top of your head and kisses each fingertip and gathers you into his lap.
Changmin-ah, he says, and it’s so sweet, just like the first time. I love you. No matter what happens, I will help you through it.
And so you kiss him gently and let yourself be rocked back to sanity, back to the calm that is expected of you but that only he can bring back.
And you let him pick you up and dust you off and quiz you over the terms for tomorrow’s test.
He rewards you for all correct answers with kisses all across your chest and a long, bubbly bath.
It’s a sunny spring day and you’re enjoying a lunch break with your classmates when your world shatters.
A number you don’t know is calling your phone and you raise an eyebrow in suspicion before excusing yourself to answer it.
Your number was found in the wallet of a man named Park Yoochun. He was in a taxi that got hit by an 18-wheeler and is in the hospital a man’s voice says.
You cry at his bedside for hours. You beg him to open his eyes and look at you. You plead with God, the devil, and any and all otherworldly being that might be listening to take you instead. You kiss every part of his body that isn’t covered by bloody bandages, then you kiss those parts too. You shed tears until you are dehydrated and still, he does not wake.
A doctor comes in and tells you the only items found at the time of the accident were these and a fresh wave of sobs wracks your body as you see the third anniversary card and a ring. He was going to propose.
The monitor flat-lines and they haul you out so they can prepare to clean the room for the next patient.
To: Changmin-ah♥
Happy third anniversary ^_^ I love telling you I love you, but I think I say it too much because now I don’t think it says enough!!
But, hmm…how else should I say it?
When I wake up to you in the morning, I thank God. I never really believed in God, but then we became a couple and I was grateful every day.
When you smile at me, my heart still clenches with joy. Did you know that? Even after three years…you still have this effect on me!!!
When I come home to you, and you’re there at the table in my old t-shirt and my old, ratty sweatpants I think you are the most handsome, most angelic man on earth. I mean it. I can’t explain this!!! I think love just does weird things to me ^_^
The things that you have done for me…to show me you care, to try to please me…they go beyond what I ever thought I deserved.
You make life worth living.
Happy third anniversary, my dearest Changmin, the love of my life.
Will you spend the rest of my life with me?.
a/n: :( 4/5 tvxq/jyj members being in the army makes me sad. happy thanksgiving :(
be my friend! twitter | k-pop tumblr | ask.fm
leave me a prompt!