TEGSF Part 3
Part 3: In which Germany is confused
The sun bright upon his lids, and green grass beside him empty of Mt. Roma's golden son, the warrior hero Germany woke with a start as the dream departed. His worthy eyes beheld a crossroads of four, of which path to take the mighty mortal did not feel clear. As Germany eyed the paths before him the mighty warrior's spirit began to sink, and, without a thought, great Germany sent a wish to Mt. Rome for aid. No sooner had the request passed him by did Germany wonder if the fleeting request would be honored as gods, like wishes, were flighty beings. And so, as his eyes roved from path to path for the final time, he beheld at the center a woman of beauty. The sun turned her hair a gleaming golden brown as it swayed in the wind, the cloth of green wrapped round the lithe body a brilliant gleam, the small beret sat upon her head matching the unearthly green eyes that shone. Made taller by her proud bearing, the goddess, for this could be no mortal, bestowed upon him a smile and her lovely voice graced him with these words:
"Oh! It's about time you found someone! I was beginning to think you were hopeless! I'll help, but there's a limit, I may aid you only twice on your voyage. So here at the crossroads, you may ask the first."
But Germany, well versed in the lore of immortals, refused to ask and offered in return:
"Bright-eyed Hungary, goddess of love, I have nothing to offer you in thanks for your guidance, needed though it may be."
And bright-eyed Hungary with the long brown hair gave a small laugh that rang through the pathways like bells:
"Heroic Germany, this quest is enough thanks as you undertake it in my name. Now ask your question lest Ancient Rome comes upon us!"
So Germany, for fear he insult the goddess in her moment of generosity, released the first request he would make of her:
"Bright-eyed Hungary, the Great Ancient Rome has set upon me a quest to retrieve the sacred white flag of surrender that once belonged to the greatly beloved golden son of Mt. Roma, Italy, now stolen from beneath his very nose. I humbly request of you to tell me of which path I should take to begin this arduous journey."
And so, request made, great Germany ceased his flow of words and awaited the goddess's response. Hungary, beautiful green eyed Hungary, raised a single long fingered hand and pointed towards a path whose end lay long beyond Germany's sight, and her command to Germany was as follows:
"Brave Germany of great might, take this path and follow it as it winds through hills and past rivers. Take no drink from the springs that flower for the nymphs and sprites are easily angered when disturbed. Kill no living thing for food, and when gathering, give offerings in thanks - be it flattery or other - lest you wake the next morning a tree. Cross three hills and walk until the soles of your sandals begin to wear, and you will reach the revered Oracle of China where you will learn the fate of your quest."
So proclaimed the goddess Hungary as she departed, returning to her home high above in the peaks that overlooked the clouds, home to all gods: Mt. Roma. Germany set upon his back his mighty shield of bronze, and began the journey upon the path bright-eyed Hungary had set him upon.
As he walked beneath the heavy gaze of Italy's golden chariot as it made its way through the skies, as though it were following him, he chanced upon a stream. His thirst grown great he knelt to drink, but as he bent low saw little white flowers bundled upon the rocks. Heeding Hungary's warnings he bowed in apology and left the stream untouched. As he walked further, his thirst grew even greater, and though he had seen many clear streams and springs, naught were lacking flowers.
So humble Germany filled his flask and drank of a stream that was murky and brown, and though the water tasted foul he felt much refreshed for having done so. For, unbeknownst to mortals, that murky stream of muddy brown held mystical properties, and those who drank of it felt renewed vitality as their weariness was stripped away. So was Germany renewed, and he continued with stronger spirits than he had held before.
Soon after, hunger gnawed in the mortal's belly. A dull hunger than grew stronger as he crossed one hill then two. He chanced upon a rabbit, but heeded Hungary's warnings and continued past, leaving the bright-eyed animal free. Further he walked and he chanced upon a doe, heeding the Goddess' warning he let the bright-eyed animal bound away. Hunger lanced his belly, thrusting spears of pain with each step, so he halted and rested beneath the shade of a scraggy tree. As he rested, he felt a brief pain upon his head, looking up he saw a nut fall from the tree and bounce upon his honored brow.
Germany feasted upon the nuts that he now noticed were strewn round the base of the scraggy tree, and offered a flask of murky water behind in thanks as he departed. And so Germany walked, his sandaled feet following the path unerring. As his soles began to wear, the straps frayed, and himself beyond exhaustion he found himself standing before the grand temple belonging to the Oracle of China.
The gleaming temple of red and gold, the very building hot to the touch, such was the famed temple of the Oracle of China. Thus Germany began the ending of his long trek from the forests of his home to this temple in famed lands and placed one foot before the other. For what were another few steps after the journey of miles he had made? So the hero told himself as he began his ascent.
And so, Germany took the final five hundredth step to the top of the temple where he was greeted by the temple priest. Bowing low, the revered priest of the Oracle of China, Hong Kong, gestured him in silently and closed the heavy door.
Great Germany, mighty Germany, stoic Germany, fought not to cough as the atmosphere filled with a heady cloud of smoke that billowed below the stool that sat in the center of the small room. A red clad figure sat upright, his figure in the revered lotus position upon the three legged stool. The priest took his place beside his master, and addressed Germany as thus:
"What request do you wish to make of the Oracle?"
Germany fought the heady smoke that fills the room with as much vigor as he does battle to force the words from his mouth:
"Oh Oracle of China, the Great Ancient Rome has set upon me a quest to retrieve the sacred white flag of surrender that once belonged to the greatly beloved golden son of Mt. Roma, Italy, now stolen from beneath his very nose. I made the journey from my beloved homeland upon the direction of the bright-eyed goddess Hungary who gave unto me in generosity. I humbly request of you to tell me of the quest I must undertake."
The smoke billowed, and the Oracle grew even stiller. As the sight descended upon the god's chosen, the Oracle moaned as he was wracked by visions sent by the immortals of Mt. Rome:
"Aiyaaaa, aru!"
The clenched hands of the Oracle opened and upon the outstretched sacred silver tray held by the priest fell five cookies of fortune. Hong Kong, bearing the sacred silver tray, turned and raised the tray in offering. Wisely, Germany accepted the cookies of fortune and broke them, one by one, making sure to consume each cookie after removing the oracle.
And so, the Great Germany read the fortune the fates had decreed upon him, the five slips spoke thus:
/You will be given a boat/
/You will make many friends/
/You will go very far/
/You will travel where the dead live/
/You will find what you seek beneath a cat/
So the fates had spoken, and the warrior gave a few gold coins as thanks to the Oracle, for he had no other possession to give. As the great Germany took his leave, the Oracle gave as a gift a dozen pandas to bring the hero happiness on his imposed quest, for the Oracle pitied the hero and believed him in need of many good wishes. And so, the great Germany valiantly made towards the shore with a panda twice upon each limb, three to shield the hero's back, and one to shield the head from the imposing light of Italy's sun as he ran his chariot of horses across the sky.
Notes:
(1) When Hungary says that Germany is undertaking the quest in her name, it's because he's undergoing this trial out of affection/love for Italy which honors Hungary as the Goddess of love.
(2) The reuse of "bright-eyed" as an adjective coincides with the use of adjectives in Greek epic (or at least Homer, if what is true for the Iliad is true for the Odyssey, not sure about Apollonius' epics since my version of Jason and the Argonauts is in narrative format). In the Iliad, an adjective is often tagged with the name of a hero or god, such as whenever Hera appears, her name is usually proceeded by "white armed". I think it's called an epithet, or a Homeric Epithet as it is most evident in Homeric epics. The words work almost like a second name (another example is "Pallas Athena" or "grey-eyed Athena")
(3) The use of "bright-eyed" when describing the animals, was deliberate ;)
(4) The smoke that is billowing around the Oracle is opium.
(5) Also, there's an overabundance of pandas because for some reason no one wants them...
Part 2 * Part 4