Muse for Sale... on Ebay

[godofcologne]

A dastardly two-bit villain has captured your muse and is planning on revenging himself on your muse for past wrongs... by selling your muse on Ebay (or in the classifieds, if you're traditional like that).

What would your muse's Ebay sales listing look like?

Comments

FOR SALE

[underagemage]

Small boy wizard. Some wear and tear and a current spell that darkens his soul. Otherwise good condition. Accessories not included.

[godofcologne]

For sale: One incubus, well-used and with overactive sarcasm drive. Severely damaged interior but few visible cracks. Shipped clothed but no guarantees on state upon arrival. Buyer responsible for disinfection.

For Sale

[tinybutfierce]

One small female former cop. Comes complete with kung-fu action and a bad attitude. Seller is not responsible for actions upon delivery.

[godofcologne]

Include shin guards in a separate package and you have a deal.

For Sale

[ocarinahero]

One Hero of Time. Slight wear and tear. Travel-sized for your convenience. Comes with one sword, one shield, one set of archery equipment, and one Ocarina of Time. Master Sword sold separately.

For Sale

[nowhere_winry]

One plucky girl Friday mechanic. Prone to tears but easily distracted by shiny bits of machinery. Can keep your car/dishwasher/automail running in top form! Comes with two outfits: coveralls and miniskirt.

Toolkit, pet dog and irascible grandmother each sold separately.