"the fact is is that I don't give a fuck. I'm the type of guy whos disappointed when I wake up in the morning and find I didn't die in my sleep. I day dream of being t-boned by a DUI cement truck driver doing 50 in a busy interection. I half hope everytime a car back-fires it might be a bullet making its way towards the base of my skull. I smile when I think of razor blades and toast-ovens in bathtubs. If you call the cops on me for stealing these shoes, I will kill you first with a thumb tack I have in my pocket, and when the police do show up, I'll make them shoot me. So its either I write "PIG" on the wall over there in your blood or you let me walk off with these 35$ shoes."
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