epiphany

[khaiysee14]

So I was talking to a friend here and they said something that was amazing to me...they were just saying it to help me understand their situation with a friend and i realized that I want to adopt this and make it my own...they said "My friendship with you (this is her pretending to talk to that friend) is not based on the decisions you make...

Comments

[hungariangabbie]

i totally agree, and i should post this in amber's too, but here's the thing: our decisions define who we are regardless of whether or not they define our friendships with people. There's definitely a difference. it would be flawed to say that our decision don't define us. They do. How we make them, consistency, ability to learn from each one, etc, counts. Relationships, however, are in a completely different realm. It's important to separate the individual from the individual's interactions. Furthermore, everyone has different criteria for making friends/evaluating them. It's rare (or perhaps false) to claim a friendship with someone because of how great of a person they are- stellar characteristics (bravery, charitable, religious, creative, informed, etc) are mere bonuses- I value a person for what we are together, the essence of the relationship, the interaction, the thing that is created between two people as they experience each other, that is what friendship is based on.

that's me elaborating on the idea, anyway.