When you feel...it.

[khalleb]

Sometimes. I feel something..peculiar.

It's not joy, nor is it depression.
It's not hate, nor is it love.

It never takes a describable form, that feeling, but it's still there, bothering me as I do not know it.
Let's say you mix apathy and worry, and then add a pinch of confusion.
Something like that.

It's a peculiar emotion,  one that appeares every time I have a certain (huge) amount of things on my mind.
Stress and problems are usually very good catalysts for the "feeling".
I hate it when it appears. It usually ruins my day, and I hate my days ruined.
The whole cycle of day and night turns into a shitload of troublesome. I hate that.
I hate having problems.

And yet I don't!
The emotion I experience is nothing like hate, as I said earlier.
And it basically leads me to sadness. Eventually, when it all passes, I start feeling somewhat serene.

I think the first time I experienced that strange emotion was shortly after my parents' divorce.
I really don't know.

"Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them."Robert Henry