Ugh

[kho]

This Real Housewives of Beverly Hills suicide thing is pissing me off.  Once you're past your adolescent/teen years?  Suicide is your fault and your fault alone.  (ETA: Someone pointed out to me that this statement, which was written in haste and I did not stop at all to think that perhaps I shouldn't just say that and not explain myself, was very

Comments

[nofantasy]

OMG! This is the first time I've heard about this (I did watch the series) and I totally agree.

Maybe because my mom killed herself, I have less sympathy, too...I actually think my mom is better off, which is a weird awkward thing to say to people, but thsi is this own guy's deal, not BRAVO or anyone else's.

[kho]

Woah, I did not know that. I'm so sorry. That's horrible. I... really don't know what else to say. I can only come from the perspective of cousin of suicide victim or friend of, not daughter of. I can only imagine that the anger I feel towards my cousin (who was 30) and the... the nowhere to go with that feeling-ness... is amplified by a fucking trillion when it's your Mom. I'm glad you can find your way to some sort of silver-lining with the thinking it's better for her.

[ariadne83]

News people, stop trying to figure out whose to blame. You're taking the wrong angle. Talk about how to get help. Talk about the signs of suicide. Give out the 800 numbers for suicide prevention. Stop talking about Bravo like they're gleeful this happened because of ratings and look down your nose at them when you in fact are doing the very same thing.

TOTALLY agree with this.

But as someone who struggled with depression/anxiety/mild psychosis for three years, and worked my way through suicidal ideation for the first time at age 28...

Once you're past your adolescent/teen years? Suicide is your fault and your fault alone. Ouch. Yes, I did ultimately reach out for help but it was incredibly difficult to do, even though I was in the best of possible circumstances - supportive family, supportive partner, stable financial and living situation, already in therapy and on meds. It just felt impossible that I would ever get better, and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happy even though I "have it all"; I thought all those

[kho]

I'm so sorry. I'm sure my post hurt you, but I hope you can understand that I didn't mean it that way. I'm not pointing a finger at you and saying you're awful, and snap out of it, and just get over it, which I think is probably how this post came off to you? I'm not sure, but... I'm not sure if I can properly explain it. I think it's awful, to be in that state of mind. I mean, god, clearly, fucking duh, it's awful, you want to die and think everyone will be better off. I'm just.... GAH

[ariadne83]

In my case it's a mix of heredity/genetics (every woman on my mother's side of the family going back five generations has struggled with depression/intrusive thoughts; my mother had suicidal impulses when my older sister was a baby), environment (my mother-in-law died very suddenly last year) and fucked-up biochemistry (from a history of a/ being physically abused and a child and b/ going through the hormonal upheaval of a miscarriage, shortly after my mother-in-law died). The perfect storm for my brain to go: Fuck it! I give up!

I'm doing a hell of a lot better now, after 16 months of meds and therapy.

I do however understand that perhaps the thing that makes you want to, the urge, the whatever you want to call it, makes logic irrelevant. Or I assume it does.That's pretty much it. Logically I knew that my thinking was wrong, and logically I knew I needed help... but the impulse wouldn't go away. Fortunately I was still in control *enough* to ask my husband to take my sleeping pills away from me and flush them down the toilet,

[kho]

Fuck, I'm really just sorry.

[feliz581]

As someone who has dealt with a person threatening suicide constantly and seen the aftermath of it, I have just always thought it was the most selfish thing a person could do. It feels like that person is telling whoever is left behind (kids, spouse, whatever) that they were not enough to keep them here

[kho]

HI FELIZ

[ariadne83]

You know, I have to agree with you. It is selfish to a large extent. And I think there's a difference between people who are genuinely depressed and people who use threats of suicide as an emotional-abuse tactic - I've known people in both categories, and the latter make me *furious*.

And... IDK quite how to explain it, but even depression itself is "selfish" to a certain extent, sometimes; in my case, I didn't have the spare energy to care about anyone but myself, for the greater part of three years, and it did a lot of damage to my relationship with my husband, which we're only just starting to work through now, a year after I started getting help.

It's not an easy subject to wrap your head around, whatever your personal experiences.