Another Torchwood Rant
But this may be the last Torchwood Rant I ever engage in again, so just bear with me here.
As you may or may not know, there's going to be a fourth season. Starz bought the rights and is producing it in conjunction with the BBC. But before you all start rejoicing, there are some major down sides. Like whoa.
Earlier this month, ONTD reported on a leaked Casting Call for TW4. Fox Mulder Rex Matheson (WTF kind of name is Rex anyway?) is an FBI CIA agent. I'm guessing he gets bogged down in alien-related shit because the 456 tried to abduct his sister. 'Cause THAT has never happened before. Then there's some token non-white character that sounds like a rip-off of Tosh, who is madly in love with Mulder Matheson. And finally, there's Oswald Jones, a convicted murderer and paedophile. Yeah. That's right. Child murder on-screen was just not "edgy" enough- they had to add in molestation too. And make Pedo-Bear Jones a MEDIA CELEBRITY. Now, I don't know about any of you but uh...I have never thought of a disgusting pedo as a celebrity of any kind.
So the casting call was bad enough, but then came interview number one, claiming that new Torchwood was going to be "darker". If anyone can explain to me how it's going to be DARKER than Children of Earth (which was pretty fucking miserable), I'd love to hear it.
But that's not even the worst part. In the most recent SFX article/interview, we get some more details, which include:
-RTD had intended to do "proper drama" but he hadn't killed Torchwood dead enough with CoE.
-The vast majority of the filming and action take place in the US. Goodbye, Cardiff.
-There is no more Hub.
-No more "sci-fi metaphors". This is all SRS BZNS now in the "real world".
-The Torchwood organization no longer exists.
-The Rift doesn't exist anymore. Essentially, Moffat's writing on Doctor Who closed it so Rusty didn't have to bother thinking of his own ideas.
So....all that's left of the original Torchwood are Gwen (who is by FAR the least popular character) and Jack (who...after CoE...isn't a very sympathetic or likable character any more). Oh, and the fact that it's still going to be called Torchwood.
I guess Jack and Pedo-bear can sit around talking about all the kids they've murdered. I'm sure that will pass for "humor" in RTD's twisted mind.
And now, some direct quotes:
When asked about this "proper drama" business: "Well, that was the plan!...I left the country trying to get away from you [SFX magazine/sci-fi]"
"Torchwood, that's what happened. It's the show that wouldn't die!"
(Apparently the intention was to destroy it after CoE and be done with it. WHY COULD THIS NOT HAVE HAPPENED!?)
Re: CoE: "Actually, Children of Earth could have run for ten episodes...If anything, we slightly rushed that ending." (Yeah, no shit. Deus ANGST machina in the last five minutes.)
"From being all-powerful, [Torchwood] became terrorists on the run, practically, and that's still how it's all going to work now." (Great...more time spent as guest stars on their own bloody show. And since WHEN were they "all powerful"? They were five flipping people working underground.)
"That could be a subtitle. Torchwood: Heartland." (Excuse me while I go and gag.)
"I used to wonder what the hell happened to that Rift, and now it's all solved. When I watched those cracks seal up, I was like 'Oh thank you!'" (Rusty...you fucking WROTE CoE. Should you have thought about what happened to the Rift BEFORE you blew the shit out of it? Unimaginative bastard...)
"Then again, we did spend two hours in the writers' room today, laughing at the different meanings of 'bender'!" (Good to know the epithets for being gay are still hilariously funny to you, RTD.)
So...a big FUCK YOU to Torchwood. And to RTD. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some True Blood. Because while people die, and shit sucks, and it's dark, and it's set in the "real world", it's fucking AWESOME. And the producer seems to actually CARE about his audience AND his characters.