[ fic ] miss clueless (hibari/haru)
Title: Miss Clueless.
Author/Artist: seireeii
Rating: T for Teen.
Warnings: Hey, this is Miss Bipolar, and I'm here to do some swears.
Prompt: I-32; Hibari/Haru: fearless; "You should run."
Word count: 1,447.
Summary: It's times like these when Hibari Kyouya curses his attachment to small animals.
miss clueless
pretend you don’t like it, but i know you do.
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“No.”
It’s meant to end the conversation - send the bubbly brunette running to her precious Tsuna-san and out of his hair - but like the stubborn, pesky fly she is, she sticks around, and erodes at the silence he so deathperately craves with her incessant idle chatter. He doesn’t understand how she can talk so much without having one of her lips fall off - she talks so much, and as much as it annoys and pisses him off, he can’t help but be the slightest bit interested in how manages it.
But once she opens her mouth again about Tsuna-san, it’s to Blood-soaked Narnia he goes.
He can’t stand it when she talks about Tsuna-san - what does she see in that herbivore anyway? He wonders if it’s the subtlety of his bloodlust, or the way he magically grows fangs when provoked, or those flames that eclipse everything in sight whenever he wields them. In all of his years of observing, biting, cataloguing, and biting some more, he’s never seen flames quite like the herbivore’s.
Not even his own can hold a candle to Tsuna-san’s, and it pisses him off.
It’s times like this that Hibari considers himself blessed to have a pair of sturdy, well-equipped tonfas, and the badass fighting skills to match - should he choose to eliminate Haru’s entire existence from his memory, life, and anything else she might have tainted, he could do so without a hitch. It isn’t just because he’s Hibari Kyouya, the strongest Vongola Guardian (although he absolutely despises that form of address - he has to admit it sort of fits him), it’s because he’s Hibari Kyouya, the demon sent straight from hell to take names and kick asses.
And Haru’s ass… he’s salivating for the chance to kick it.
“So, Tsuna-san and I were walking down the street the other day, and we passed this cake shop that sells chocolate strawberry shortcake and we stopped and he bought me a piece! Isn’t that sweet of him, Hibari-san? He bought me a piece of chocolate strawberry-shortcake! I didn’t even know that that flavor existed! It was so nice of him!”
Where the hell are his tonfas?
Oh how he wants to curb stomp her into a patch of dirt soaked in her own filthy, herbivorous blood.
But she isn’t done. Apparently there’s another bit to the story that she forgot, and thus forces Hibari to stay where he is, feigning sleep and longing to bite her face off with his tonfas. She’s going to die the instant he decides he’s had enough. And he’s almost to that point.
“And then, Tsuna-san kissed me on the cheek!”
Say what now?
Kissed?
Just what is that? A sumo-wrestling move? Something you do to a girl when she’s begging and pleading with her fluttering eyelashes and puckered lips? Or is it that herbivorous action that results in those things called dates, or maybe even relationships?
Hibari slides his eyes open, and raises himself into a sitting position - a kiss, huh?
Haru notices his gaze on her, the way his irises flick up and down, fumbling between her pitifully girly stance on the ground, and her moist, glossy lips. Hibari’s mouth starts to water - okay, this is new. Before he can stop himself, his face begins to burn, blister, and blaze as if that herbivore’s flames are intent on grilling a steak or two using his skin alone. It’s new, and foreign, and it scares the living shit out of him.
Unfortunately, the brunette notices it, and opens her mouth again: “Hibari-san? Are you… blushing?”
He’s really starting to want his tonfas now - anything to shut her up. A crowbar. A steel-toed boot. His shoe laces. Anything to shut that damn mouth of hers. She’s mocking him, and he knows it, feels it in his veins, grinds it between his teeth, tastes it on his tongue.
Oh, she’s gonna die. The moment he regains what little sanity he had to begin with.
Somehow, he manages to speak. But to his disappointment, instead of a low, and deep snarl of hostility and animosity, it’s a small, herbivorous, one-worded sentence that puts him on edge:
“No.”
Just, no.
He’s losing his mind. Losing it, beating it, and biting it with each breath he takes. There truly is no rest for the wicked.
“But your face is all red,” Haru protests, leaning forward and poking his cheek gently with her fingertip. He flinches away from her touch is if it’s poison - it might not be toxic, but it’s intoxicating. Her scent is thick, palpable, heady in his nostrils - just what is happening to him? “And getting redder as each second passes.”
He knows he has to calm down. Has to calm down, turn his face into the wind, throw his head up into the sky and sleep. This is all just a bad dream, and he’s struggling to wake up. He repeats the words bad dream over and over again in his mind, hoping he’ll believe it.
But then again, Hibari Kyouya doesn’t need weakness such as hope.
He’s hope incarnate, damn it.
“Hibari-san? Are you alright?”
He swings his head toward her, and glowers.
He knows he has to calm down. Has to calm down, turn his face into the wind, throw his head up into the sky and sleep. This is all just a bad dream, and he’s struggling to wake up. He repeats the words bad dream over and over again in his mind, hoping he’ll believe it.
But then again, Hibari Kyouya doesn’t need weakness such as hope.
He’s hope incarnate, damn it.
“Hibari-sr:#003600;">“If you do not vacate the premises in five minutes, I will gag you with a toothbrush until you cough up every piece of that disgusting atrocity you enjoyed so thoroughly and force-feed it back to you with a crowbar.” Haru trembles and slides backward from his ignited death aura. “Do I make myself clear?”
And when she nods, he closes his eyes.
At least his shit-poor attitude’s as stellar as always.
“Good. Now get out of my sight.”
There’s dismissal in his words - he hears it loud and clear, but apparently Haru doesn’t, because she’s sitting there, calm as a kitten, looking almost as if she wants to be punished. He doesn’t understand it, how her audacity seems to have no limits. Everything has limits - speaking of which, he’s just reached his. Just one more little push, and she’s done for.
And he’ll acquire sweet release, and his deeply-missed silence.
She tilts her head, and says, “You’ll feed me?”
His left eyebrow twitches.
“With a crowbar?”
His hands reach for his tonfas - just where have they been this entire time?
“For the whole world to see?”
His death aura is grim and burning.
But even though he’s absolutely sure that it’s dark enough to scare the living shit out of her, she merely smiles, and tilts her head, clapping her hands together and leaning toward him despite the furious blaze of his violet-hued tonfas. Her hands touch his face, and he jerks his head back, a threat boiling on his tongue, before she does the unthinkable and pushes her lips against his.
He doesn’t move - doesn’t drop his guard, doesn’t kiss her back, doesn’t relish in the sweet taste on his tongue, but more importantly, he doesn’t push her away. He’s confused by this fact - why the hell isn’t he pushing her away? He hates physical contact (biting is the only exception). And this is possibly the most herbivorous thing that’s happened to him since her precious Tsuna-san roped him into joining that flock of herbivores he calls a family.
He knows Tsuna-san isn’t the real one to blame. He just prefers the baby’s presence over the stupid herbivore's.
Haru pulls back from him and looks him straight in the eyes: “I knew it.”
He narrows his eyes. “Knew what, herbivore?”
“That you’re jealous of Tsuna-san.” As if that isn’t the most herbivorous thing he’s ever heard. “That you secretly have a crush on me and are just too shy to admit it. I think it’s cute, Hibari-san. I think that you’re cute.”
He doesn’t understand why she isn’t vomiting up her chocolate strawberry-shortcake right now at the disgusting things she just said.
“Cute?” he snarls, narrowing his eyes, “State something to that nature one more time, herbivore, and I’ll break every single bone in your body so that you are no longer capable of such stupidity.”
Haru sighs. “Oh, Hibari-san.”
He scoffs at her tone.
“Get out of my sight, herbivore,” he orders, lifting his tonfas threateningly. “You’ve disturbed the peace for long enough.”
“But Hibari-san-“
“I thought you told me that I made myself clear a few moments ago.”
Finally, finally, finally the girl squeals - “Hahi!” - and leaves, slamming the roof door behind her and leaving Hibari to his deeply-loved silence. But it doesn’t last long, not long at all. Because sure enough, another herbivore evolves to replace the first one.