Anachronism (16/16)
Monday, 24 January 2005, 8:15 AM
Harry clutched a liana and gasped for breath. "Bloody hell," he said. "I know I'm in shape. How can you move so damned fast?"
Severus swept over to him. "You cast a Featherlight Charm on your bag after you packed it, right?"
"Yeah, but that was hours ago, and we've been hiking through a sauna since then." Pulling his wand out of his pocket, he waved it at his face to remove the sweat.
"You're soaked." Severus ran his finger down the sweat and humidity-soaked T-shirt arm of Harry's shirt. "Why don't you use drying spells?" The clothing waterproofing spells were not practical in high humidity as they often trapped water between the skin and the clothing.
"You decided to come here in the middle of a monsoon." He flicked his wand at his boots. "Drying spells don't have much of an effect if you get wet again five seconds later."
"Here." Setting down his own bag, Severus Summoned his potions satchel. "I invented a treatment for clothing which retards liquid absorption to prevent potions accidents. You'll still need to whisk away any fluid that leaks between your skin and clothing unless you cast spells to form airtight seals." He paused. The clothing had to be removed in order to be soaked in the potion, as it would stain skin if directly applied. Although Harry occasionally had worn nothing but shorts around him, the potion wouldn't work correctly unless Harry soaked every article of clothing, down to his socks and smalls.
If Harry undressed, it would be the first time he'd see Harry naked since early October.
As if using Legilimency, Harry asked, "D'you need me to undress?"
Severus nodded. "It'll stain your skin otherwise. The more clothing protected, the better it works."
"Yeah. Can you set up the privacy wards?"
They were in the middle of the Gunung Palung National Park in Borneo, and the nearest humans were Muggle researchers on the other side of the mountain, but Severus set them up anyway. Turning away from Harry, he conjured a large bowl and poured in the potion. As repeated use of cleaning spells reduced the effectiveness of the potion, he had brought more than enough to soak his clothes several times, and had plenty left over for Harry.
"I know you can fix almost anything," said Harry as he walked over, pulling off his shirt. "But aren't the tropics the last place I should be starkers? After what happened in Brazil last month-"
"Don't worry. I set up more than just privacy wards, and besides, Indonesia has far less dangerous flora and fauna compared to other tropical forests. Place all of your clothes in the bowl."
Harry sat down to pull of his boots. "My Severus didn't have a spell like that. Or if he did, he didn't use it in rainforests."
Severus made no comment. At first, the comparisons had bothered him, as they indicated that Harry was constantly measuring him against the other man. However, after months of it, the bite had faded, and he now saw it as similar to when he tested different classes of healing potions, trying to determine the properties of each in order to understand the differences. But no matter how much he tried to ignore it, the sting of Harry using the expression 'my Severus' had never faded. Try as he might, he couldn't put aside his feelings. He wanted to be Harry's Severus, not the Severus that Harry still seemed to long for.
Harry silently undressed, dropping each article of clothing in the bowl. When he yanked off his boxers, his thick penis hung flaccid between his legs, and he gave Severus a small smile, as if embarassed by its appearance.
Having applied the potion to his own clothes thousands of times, Seveus could prepare and dry garments in seconds, but the sight of Harry naked was such a rare treat, he told himself that, as this was the first time he had soaked Harry's garments, it would not be remiss to let them remain in the bowl longer than usual.
Conjuring a chair, Harry sat, pulled up his legs, wrapping his arms around them. The sounds of gibbons filled the air, and he stared up at the treeline.
"What's making that noise?" he asked. "Those high crying calls."
"Gibbons," Severus told him.
"Gibbons?" Harry straightened his back, dropping his feet to the ground. "I saw them at the zoo, but they didn't sound like that."
"It's different in the wild." Severus stood. "Would you like to see them? We'd have to fly up into the canopy."
"Sure!" Jumping off the chair, Harry darted over and threw his arms around Severus's neck.
His heart stopping at the sudden pounce by a naked Harry, Severus couldn't think or speak for a moment. All he could do was feel the heat of Harry's warm body seep through his robes, and smell his intoxicating scent. When he'd proposed the offer, he'd imagined that he would fashion a broom, but flying Harry up himself was a far better idea.
Wrapping his arms around Harry's waist, he buried his nose in Harry's tousled hair, and whispered a Featherlight Charm. Holding Harry tightly against himself, he cast a sticking charm just to be sure he wouldn't drop the other man, and lifted them off the ground, soaring straight to the emergent canopy.
There, on the other side of the river, two gibbons swung through the trees.
Harry gave a long, low whistle. "They look like they're flying!"
"They're defending their territory," Severus told him, his breath making the dark mop even messier. "They live in monogamous pairs and sing to defend their land from rivals."
His eyes transfixed on the swinging pair, Harry murmured. "They aren't at all like the monkeys we saw yesterday."
"That's because they aren't monkeys, they're apes, like us."
Harry glanced at him. "What's the difference?"
"Well, among other things, they have a brachiation complex-"
"A what?" Harry wrinkled his nose.
Severus had purchased a book on primate evolution to research the non-human Polyjuice Potion line they wished to develop, but as much as he wanted to share his newfound knowledge, he also wanted an excuse to keep Harry in his arms longer. He knew better, but he couldn't resist. Running his fingers up the small of Harry's back, he said, "The lumbar process shortens." Brushing Harry's upper back with featherlight touches along the way, he lifted his hand to Harry's shoulder, and massaged it. "The head of the humerus rounds to allow greater rotation."
His intense eyes fixed on Severus's, Harry lifted his arm. Severus trailed his fingers down the muscular limb. "The arms elongate, and the olecranon process shortens." He brushed his hand over Harry's elbow, letting his palm slide across the skin. Pressing his hand flat against Harry's arm, he stroked down to Harry's hand. "The fingers elongate and the thumb shortens." Harry curled his fingers up, brushing over Severus's palm, chasing after the hand as it trailed away.
Swallowing hard, Severus traced back up Harry's arm, and ran his hand flat across his upper chest, enjoying the contrast between hard bone and soft skin. "The clavicle lengthens, and the chest-" He spread his fingers on Harry's chest. Harry's heart pounded hard against his hand, and his eyes were so vividly green, a light seemed to shine from within them.
His breath catching in his throat, Severus said huskily, "The chest widens and flattens."
"What else?" asked Harry, his voice deep. He placed his free hand over Severus's, his fingers warm.
With a start, Severus realised they were in the understorey and would soon hit the forest floor. Flight by magic required a high level of concentration, and he'd been so wrapped up in Harry, he'd not maintained the height. There was so much more he could say. He could say, 'no tail', and Harry might allow him to brush his fingers along the top of those perfect buttocks. He might even be able to lay Harry out on the ground, and convince him to allow him to demonstrate all the pelvic changes that'd led to bipedalism.
His feet hit the ground and reality intruded. He wasn't Harry's Severus. He refused to be.
Stepping back from Harry, he glanced down at the clothes still steeping in the potion. Pulling out his wand, he evaporated the water, and said, "You should dress now. We'll attempt to collect hairs from them tomorrow."
After a pause, Harry said, "Right." He walked past Severus to his clothing and pulled it on. "Have we finished our list of plants?"
"No, we're on 'N'. I believe Nepenthes villosa is next."
As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, they continued their search. When evening arrived, and it was time to make camp, Severus charmed the tent to float next to a mangrove forest. Inside the small, three-room tent, they ate dinner, reviewed their notes for the day, and prepared for bed. Severus retired to the single bed first, and Harry shortly joined him, both of them wearing pyjamas.
"Nox," cast Harry as he slipped under the covers. They always started the night apart-each man on his own half, but every morning, they somehow found themselves entwined.
Now, Harry scooted to the edge of the invisible line dividing their sections, and stuck one of his legs onto Severus's side, touching Severus's leg. Shifting slightly, Severus let his right arm rest against Harry's.
"'Night." said Harry softly.
"Goodnight."
Severus lay in bed, enjoying the warmth of Harry's body and listening to him sleep. There were so many beliefs and behaviours he'd shed since he realised he was living another man's life, but the one thing he refused to relinquish was his affection for Harry. Once he'd allowed it to happen, his relationship with Harry had been the most natural and important aspect of this universe. Even though he wanted more, just being with Harry was enough to make him happier than he'd ever been in his entire life.
Sunday, 27 March, 4:23 PM
"May I have this dance?" Narcissa offered one slender, white arm.
"Of course," murmured Severus, rising from his chair and escorting her to the floor. When the waltz began, he cast Muffliato, and swept her around the floor. "Not a year ago you told me that you wouldn't eat with the Weasleys. I didn't expect to see you here." He wasn't sure which was odder: that the Malfoys attended Ginny and Adam's wedding or that they had been invited in the first place.
She smiled. "My dear Severus, how long have we been friends? I realise you cling to your opinions stubbornly, but there is no reason to assume that I do the same."
She was the epitome of everything that was Slytherin, and he knew she wouldn't have bothered to come unless she saw a future benefit to herself or her family. Perhaps she wanted him to re-negotiate the contract he and Harry had signed with her husband. Raising an eyebrow at her, he said, "There are some opinions on which I will not change, but you cannot claim that I'm not adaptable."
Pretending as if she didn't hear the brush-off, she smiled demurely. "Oh, of course. I did not mean to imply that you've not the potential to evolve. You've always been marvellously skilled at re-inventing yourself. Or, at least, I assume you were. It is hard to know how much of you I know."
"Less than you think, but more than you might realise."
"I did expect that answer." She stepped away for a twirl and returned, her body pressing disconcertingly close against his. "Now, you must answer a question I have heard whispered around. Are you dating Harry?"
After six months and nary a peep from her on the issue of Harry, he thought she'd lost her interest. "No."
An eyebrow arched. "You live together, work together, travel together, attend events together-"
"We've separate rooms," he interrupted. Never mind that they shared a bed-albeit chastely-on their regular travels
"My apologies." If she had been anyone else, he would've believed the look of apology on her face. "It's a shame that he can't accept you for who you are."
He twirled her with more force than necessary, knocking a strand of hair astray. Giving him a sharp look of warning, she patted it back in place and re-took his hand.
With a cool look in return, he said, "You assume too much."
"My ... you are touchy. I admit you've confused me. A change in his affections is quite understandable and an acknowledgment of that was not intended as an offence. You must realise by now that I quite like Harry-" It was his money she liked. "-and wish him nothing but full health and happiness." And his coffers full of money to enrich her own.
They danced quietly for a few measures before she said, "I suppose...." as a false look of innocence spread across her features. "You must explain it to me, for I simply can't understand why your opinions of him would change, knowing what you now know. Unless you were merely pretending for the sake of convention-which would be entirely understandable-then I would expect you to remain constant in affections."
"I've no desire to play the part of a dead man," he said bluntly.
"Ah." She nodded. "He'll not have it otherwise?"
"He loved him. Harry does not give his heart lightly. To accept another man-even a similar one-so soon after the death of his lover would be an insult to his memory."
"Yes," she drawled. "I suppose mourning for at least twenty years would be preferred."
He snorted. "And I suppose worry for the life of your son has been your only concern."
"You know me too well, Severus." Her gaze drifted over his shoulder. He'd thought he'd caught a glimpse of her watching another couple on the dance floor earlier, but her gaze lingered longer than usual.
Spinning her around to see the object of her attention, his eye caught on Harry dancing with Ginny. Dressed in a gown that probably cost more than what her father made in a year, her hair and makeup attended to by the best the wizarding world had to offer, Ginny was the object of everyone's attention-everyone but Severus, who only had eyes for her best man.
Dressed in elegant, form-fitting dress robes of black and cerulean, Harry spun Ginny around with a grace he'd not had at fourteen, and the two of them fulfilled the ideal of the perfect couple: beautiful, young, and passionate.
Shifting closer, standing on tip-toe to reach his ear, Narcissa whispered, "He's been watching you."
Focusing his eyes on Narcissa so that he wouldn't be caught staring at Harry, he scoffed, "You're imagining things."
"I'm not," she declared, lifting her chin. "That you've managed to keep your eyes off Harry and on me is surprising. I saw you during the ceremony."
"You sat in the back."
"I don't need to see your eyes to know where you're looking."
He was saved a retort by the end of the song. Guiding her to the edge of the dance floor, he said, "In a Weasley wedding, your husband could use company."
She smiled as if his dismissal had been a compliment. "Excellent idea."
Ginny and Harry exited the dance floor on Severus's other side. The two women glanced at each other, then walked off in opposite directions.
Scooting closer, Harry placed an arm upon Severus's and leant forward. Bending down his head to hear what Harry had to say, Severus breathed in the scent of him. He didn't wear his special cologne anymore, even on fancy occasions, but Severus didn't mind. He loved Harry's scent just as it was.
"I can't believe the Malfoys are here," whispered Harry. "Do you think they were invited by accident and decided to show up out of spite?"
.
"Don't be a fool, Harry," Severus whispered back. "The witches are plotting together."
Far too obviously, Harry shot glances at both Ginny and Narcissa. "But they've not gone within ten feet of each other once."
"Exactly. What did Ginny ask you about? Me?"
"Yes." Harry lifted his hand off Severus's arm. "But she often does." He frowned, watching her move across the dance floor.
It looked as though he were about to walk off after her, so Severus asked, "Care to dance?"
Blinking, his eyes darting back to Severus's, Harry nodded. "Of course!"
Severus took his hand and led him out onto the dance floor. Placing a hand on each other's waist, they clasped their other hands, and each took the lead, sending them straight into each other.
"Oh!" said Harry. "Sorry! You lead."
Nodding, Severus led the next few steps. Harry started as gracefully as with Ginny, but soon stumbled over his feet, stepping on Severus's toes as he kept trying to lead.
"Sorry," he said, staring at his feet. "I've always led."
"We'll switch," offered Severus. He had never followed either, but it wasn't difficult to pick up, and soon they waltzed around the dance floor as if they had always danced together. Later, when it was just the two of them, he'd teach Harry how to follow.
Harry's exquisite eyes stared at Severus with an odd curiosity. "Do you like to dance?"
"It's not unfavourable."
A smile quirked the corner of Harry's mouth. "The other Severus hated dancing. He refused to do it, even with me."
Harry'd been saying 'the other Severus' and 'the past Severus' for the last month. It gave Severus hope, but he looked forward to the day when the other Severus was mentioned no more than this universe's Charlie. "Do you enjoy dancing?"
"I love it." Harry grinned. "I don't care if I'm rubbish at it." His smile faded and he said, "I appreciate all that you've done for me these past months. When you told me the truth, I spent the first month waking up each morning, both hoping and fearing you'd left me. At the time, I couldn't decide which would be worse, but now I'm glad you stayed." His eyes flickered over Severus's face. "I don't want you to feel forced to remain in my company based upon a sense of duty. You don't owe anything to me-or him."
"My feelings towards you have never been forced by circumstance or belief in what I should experience. If this life I have now were not what I desired, I would focus my attentions on seeking what I lacked." Severus shook his head. "I've never felt responsible for any of his actions, and regard for him has never crossed my mind, except where you are concerned. I also have no intention of replacing him."
Shaking his head, Harry said, "I know you can't. Just like you can't replace Charlie, and I can't replace anyone you've lost. If any part of you wishes for my mum, it won't work between us. I want a relationship that's only between the two of us. No ghosts, no one else."
Severus's heart leapt to his throat, and he squeezed Harry's hand as he said, "You've nothing to fear there. Besides, I have no desire to be associated with the other Severus. I despise him."
Harry blinked. "You do? Why?"
Holding Harry tighter, Severus said, "He abandoned you. He cared more about spell craft than about you. I can't forgive him for that."
Harry's eyes drifted to Severus's cravat. "I know he didn't mean to destroy himself. I know he wouldn't have picked power over me. I thought about all the things that could've gone wrong. Maybe the text itself could've been damaged maliciously before Endell, or perhaps Endell sabotaged it. Maybe the spell worked perfectly, and neither of them realised how great the price would be. Maybe there was something wrong with him, or me, and he needed more power to try to fix it. I don't know. It's frustrating-not knowing exactly what happened, or why he did it."
Harry shook his head, his lips pressed tight. "I suppose...in the end, it doesn't matter. He tried the spell in the experimentation room because he knew it was dangerous. Even if he didn't mean to-even if it was set up to kill him-he still had the choice to cast the spell and, for whatever reason, he made that choice."
Swallowing hard, Harry said, "He did leave me. And he was too proud to admit that it was his fault. He set up a system to frustrate me, and keep me from realising what he'd actually done because he knew it would hurt me. He decided what was best for me on his own. Even if he did it to save me, he still should've given me the option of choosing a different way. He still should've told me what he planned to do. Most of all, he shouldn't have just dumped you into a confusing world where I'd push you into a relationship you may have never had, or wanted, in the first place!"
Severus said nothing, letting Harry speak. It was very likely that he would've never tried for such a relationship if he had remained in his old world, especially if that Harry were straight. However, even with people badgering him about their relationship, he'd never felt forced to be with Harry. It had been what he wanted-long before he'd realised it.
Harry raised his bright eyes to meet Severus's. "But I've forgiven him for that. He worked hard to bring you here, and even though it's been difficult on both of us, I'm glad to have you. As selfish as it is, I'm glad you left that universe and life for mine. Not that I don't miss him- I mean-" He paused, biting his lip. "I don't think I'll ever completely stop loving him. I think- I think I'll always miss him, just like I'll always have a part of me that misses and loves Charlie, Dumbledore, and so many other people who died.
"I know you're upset because he hurt me, but I'm glad to have had my time with him. I know he loved me." Harry gave Severus a small smile. "But at the same time, I love having you here. You're like him in some ways, but amazingly different in so many others. It'll take some time for me to adjust to your differences, but I love discovering who you are."
He lifted the hand from Severus's waist, and tangled it in Severus's hair. With a sly smile, he said, "Not to mention I love how often you wear your hair in a ponytail. And how you style it...." He lost himself for a moment, running his fingers through Severus's hair. When he caught himself, he shook his head and added, "I may sound completely mad, but even though you two have the exact same face, you somehow manage to look so different."
Part of the reason Severus had grown his hair a few inches down past his shoulders was to distinguish himself from the other man. As he couldn't stand hair in his face when brewing, he'd pulled it back in the lab, only to notice the effect it had on Harry. After that, he wore it in a neat pony tail whenever he wished to impress Harry. Lucius, who often wore his hair in a similar fashion, had called him vain, but Lucius had never seen the look in Harry's eyes when Severus strode into a room with well-groomed hair and elegant dress robes. It was enough to drive him to buy a mirror for his side of the vanity.
Those beautiful eyes now looked ready to devour him whole. Harry wanted him. Harry wanted him.
Pulling Harry tightly against him, Severus whispered, "I don't think Ginny will mind if we leave early."
Harry squeezed his hand hard. "Knowing her, she'd probably love it."
"Home?"
"Yes, please." Grabbing Severus's hand, Harry marched them off the dance floor.
In an empty hallway, Harry pushed Severus up against a wall and kissed him. Harry was hard beneath his robes, and he poured his desire into a kiss that left both of their hearts racing.
Clutching Severus tightly to him, Harry said, "You do realise I'm never letting you go."
Severus whispered, "As if I'd ever let you," and he Apparated them both away.
Chapter 1 ... Epilogue