I fear many things.
But there is this one particular fear that paralyses my being. It's not something within my control so I feel helpless.
It may not be true but the thought consumes me and I am left shaking and worrying..
Anxiety bubbles within as I try to banish the what-ifs.

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That hollow in my chest.
The void.
Reason? The end of my favourite character/actor in a telly series.

Yes. From now on, the only ache i should feel in my centre, should be the pain of losing a fictional person.

I have been doing my best to get out of bed the entire week.
Sweated out, raising my endorphine levels in the hopes that the bad thoughts don't come back.
(they still do anyway) at least i feel healthier.

My insides are growing cold. Cold. Distant. But not enough to feel numb.
I don't want to feel anymore.
It's not as if these thoughts could be readily controlled. They linger like an aftertaste.
I feel trapped in a dreary labyrinth. I know i should find a way out, but i'm just too tired to try...
Somebody take me to the moon.

- Cambodia
- Vietnam
- Australia; Melbourne/Tazmania
- Japan; Osaka/Kyoto/Hiroshima
- Scotland.
- Germany; everywhere else i have yet to set foot on. Especially the Castles and woods
- Switzerland
- Norway/Sweden/Finland
- ICELAND!!!
- East Coast America; Orlando
- Alaska
- Hawaii
- South Africa

Depressing......

I feel like im constantly thrown into a vortex that stretches on forever ( Read more... )

It sure is nice to be taken care of after all that looking out i do for others.
Rather refreshing.
I musnt get use to it though.

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And all I'm left are these memories in my head ( Read more... )