i don't WANT to win; i don't even wanna place. I JUST WANT SOMETHING WRITTEN DOWN ON POSTER BOARD THAT LOOKS LIKE MY KID OWNS AT LEAST TWO BRAIN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER.
and--parenthetically--because i am gimping around the house, shouting enthusiastically, "It'll be FUN! We can DO it! We'll make a memory that'll last a LIFETIME!" koda is now cowering in a corner of the kitchen, mumbling, "ummm.... mommmm.... you're scaring me...." [with a sweet, wry smile on his face].
that whole not having kids thing? was a damned sound decision, my dear.
Note I said she TOOK OVER the whole project. I just need to do the damn thing and had a perfectly good idea going but it wasn't good enough I guess so she ended up doing it for me.
It wasn't fun and wasn't a great team building mom and me time I tell you that.
we are stealing an experiment from the ever popular 'mythbusters' tv show. we are going to 'find out' the quickest way to cool a can of beer--ice, ice and water, or ice and water and salt.
only... we're using soda. :( which is actually a good thing--else koda would... uh... already be missing the most important component of this experiment. hee. [and--normally--i'm one of those 'helicopter moms' too, hovering over everything, and demanding perfection, and, eventually, taking over to insure said perfection. but between trying to quit smoking, and depression, and playing med roulette, well, i've just gotta say, I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE!!! and it feels damned good.]
Take another pill and a big swig of coffee because it gets worse. Let me tell you about the year of the English project where I had to sew sock puppets and his dad built a puppet stage. There was no way on this earth any kid could have done that on his own. I'd love to know what his teacher was smoking when she dreamed that one up. And then there was the world history project where we had to draw maps by hand, color them and glue them to a beach ball. (This is where Mom's black belt skills in artful photocopying and providing tracing paper came in handy big time
( ... )
ah, but this implies that i am calm to start with. of course, if calm is synonymous with manic, maybe we're okay!
did i mention that i found out last night that this is due monday? and of course, the answer to 'why didn't you mention this before???' is the time-honored, 'but mom, i thought you knew.'
when i was growing up, participation in the science fair was voluntary. whenthehell did that change, and why wasn't i consulted?
Sometimes "focused manic" equals calm. :) Believe it or not, 99 percent of the other households in his grade are also having a freak-out this weekend.
I think at some point it generally became mandatory for middle school. Here it is voluntary in high school, and only the kids who intend to become doctors or scientists participate at that level.
"focused manic." i like that. i can even achieve that. maybe.
and he has also just handed me a lovely piece of paper to sign, and a frighteningly thick notebook containing 'vital information' about what must be completed for next month's Social Studies Fair. the topic he chose? George Washington: Cincinnatus Reborn
'koda, i don't even know what that means!' 'neither do i, but it was the first topic on the list.'
I'm french and as a kid, we didn't have to do such a project. (so you can decide to raise your kids in such a country!) But, one of our biology teacher had decided to give us grades according to the growth speed of a bean we had to put in wet cotton then plant in eath. The best grade went to a girl whose mother bought an actual grown-up bean with leafs...
Whoa, science fair projects. Good luck to you both with that. (I sometimes wonder if the teachers are running their own project-- like, let's see how much insanity we can cause in a set period of time.)
if the teacher will supply the padded room, i'll gladly demonstrate my current level of insanity. i think the county might happily supply a small room, though, as i'm seriously considering the most efficient methods and legal penalties for kidicide! :)
i am, in fact, running to the grocery store. and the office supply store. and the dollar store. why?, you might reasonably ask. it's because WE DON'T HAVE MOST OF THE ITEMS WE NEED YET. i just drank three cups of coffee, and then tried to drown myself in the shower. alas, i failed.
not a beer drinker--hence my upthread comment graphically illustrates my frame of mind--but wine sounds good. and black russians sound better. i may in fact be adding the liquor store to the errand list.
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Yes, the annual science fair project. The only time I won was the year my mom did my whole project because she didn't like the way I was doing it.
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and--parenthetically--because i am gimping around the house, shouting enthusiastically, "It'll be FUN! We can DO it! We'll make a memory that'll last a LIFETIME!" koda is now cowering in a corner of the kitchen, mumbling, "ummm.... mommmm.... you're scaring me...." [with a sweet, wry smile on his face].
that whole not having kids thing? was a damned sound decision, my dear.
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It wasn't fun and wasn't a great team building mom and me time I tell you that.
What are you guys making anyways?
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only... we're using soda. :( which is actually a good thing--else koda would... uh... already be missing the most important component of this experiment. hee. [and--normally--i'm one of those 'helicopter moms' too, hovering over everything, and demanding perfection, and, eventually, taking over to insure said perfection. but between trying to quit smoking, and depression, and playing med roulette, well, i've just gotta say, I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE!!! and it feels damned good.]
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ah, but this implies that i am calm to start with. of course, if calm is synonymous with manic, maybe we're okay!
did i mention that i found out last night that this is due monday? and of course, the answer to 'why didn't you mention this before???' is the time-honored, 'but mom, i thought you knew.'
when i was growing up, participation in the science fair was voluntary. whenthehell did that change, and why wasn't i consulted?
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I think at some point it generally became mandatory for middle school. Here it is voluntary in high school, and only the kids who intend to become doctors or scientists participate at that level.
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and he has also just handed me a lovely piece of paper to sign, and a frighteningly thick notebook containing 'vital information' about what must be completed for next month's Social Studies Fair. the topic he chose? George Washington: Cincinnatus Reborn
'koda, i don't even know what that means!'
'neither do i, but it was the first topic on the list.'
*is ded*
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But, one of our biology teacher had decided to give us grades according to the growth speed of a bean we had to put in wet cotton then plant in eath.
The best grade went to a girl whose mother bought an actual grown-up bean with leafs...
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run to the grocery store and get yourself some actual beer for your very own experiment at the end of the day, okay?
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not a beer drinker--hence my upthread comment graphically illustrates my frame of mind--but wine sounds good. and black russians sound better. i may in fact be adding the liquor store to the errand list.
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Posted two more drawings last night, one new, one very old. It made me feel better.
drown myself in the shower
Old hunters' tale has it that turkeys can drown themselves in the rain but I think it's a little more difficult for humans. ;-)
Liquor store sounds like excellent plan. I may do that myself today.
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