Comments | kij66: New ways to cope

kij66

New ways to cope

Aug 13, 2007 08:02

After a couple of days of crying jags, unfairly blaming R for MY failings, and just general irrational thinking, I've decided I need to join a cancer support group of some sort before I'm well I'm way to destroying my relationship ( Read more... )

Comments 11

deemarie2003 August 13 2007, 15:20:16 UTC

Oh, I think that's a good idea, Karen.

But keep in mind, I'm betting that R wishes he could just take it all away...and that is probably more a part of his frustration than anything.

You are worthy of his love...you ARE!

worthy kij66 August 13 2007, 15:53:28 UTC

When I climb out of the hole of "this is not the life I expected/wanted" I do get back to the "I AM worthy of love". We spoke on the phone last night (I'm at mom's until Wed for dr appts), and everything was okay.

Not too long ago I asked him what the worst part of this was for him, and he replied " my sheer fucking helplessness". It's like my mom always said " I can't fight the cancer FOR you, but I'll do whatever else I can to help".

I have to remember that part when I feel like a burden...

infinityltd August 13 2007, 19:01:29 UTC

Having somebody to talk to who knows or has been through these things makes coping a lot easier, so good on you for seeking that help. I am so grateful R is there for you and is able to help.

miafedup August 13 2007, 19:18:55 UTC

I think that is brilliant. I've been trying to find a grief support group myself.

Hang in there, friend. I think it's a fabulous idea!

hanging by a nail kij66 August 15 2007, 13:49:42 UTC

I hope you can find a group that helps you as well; I have to believe that knowing there are people who make it through traumatic circumstances can give us hope that we'll get to the other side of things as well...

spiral_rose August 13 2007, 20:37:30 UTC

After everything you have been through a good cry, and even a temper tantrum can help you feel better, just letting it all go. Loving someone isn't alwasy easy, you take on the good, the bad, and the crabby. You deserve everything you have and more so don't be silly about that just love him back. I think going to a support group is a really good idea. You can get things off your chest without worrying about hurting the ones you love, you don't have to hold back or feel guilty about what you say. You need to vent, it is healthy to vent and let it rip! You have a right to feel like you have lost thing and are not very happy about it, talking to people who understand can help you learn to live in new ways. Sheesh, I broke my ankle once and I was brat wha wha crybaby becasue I had to be on crutches for three months! I am lucky my husband didn't turn me over his knee and spank me. What you are dealing with is so much more than that so give yourself a break and go make some new friends that can listen, and help you.

Hugs and love,

Thanks sweetie kij66 August 15 2007, 14:03:50 UTC

I'm finally back to the "I'm blessed & grateful for I *DO* have" place again...But I think it's going to be on ongoing struggle. *sigh*

It helps to have the love & support of BR :-)

love,
K

opakele August 14 2007, 03:41:37 UTC

I didn't do any support groups either. Being an introvert, I tend to get buried in group situations, and wind up more frustrated.

I have been seeing a therapist for almost 20 years. I go once a week. I call her Wise Friend, in my journal. I saw her all through treatment. She knows me so well by now. We just sit and visit, but if she has an observation, I hear it.

I think a support group is an excellent idea, I'm tossing out other options.

More oncology clinics are recoginizing a need for nutrition and exercise training for cancer patients. Maybe that is an avenue as well.