the Marinol is definately helping
I took it around 11 when we got back from getting coffee for R, and then I laid down for about half an hour.
Part of what's going on is still finding ways to cope with the eyesite problem, the loss of balance, and a general feeling of being disconnected from reality. I know I seem pretty normal to you guys from the outside, but I gotta tell ya, from the inside it feels like I'm on really strong cold medicine all the time(like Codiene & shit), and everything has a very surreal quality about it. Combine that with memory problems & a faulty sense of time, and I don't know where or when I am. I keep thinking today is Tuesday...
I feel like I'm going through the Stages of Grief, and am slowing working my way around to Acceptance (after anger, denial, bargaing & the rest which I don't know & am too lazy to look up right now)
My focus seems to be narrowed down to escaping reality by watching DVDs, and the cooking.
I need to get inspired to write more for the book, so I can feel like I have a purpose. I feel very useless & purposeless at this point. Last time I was in treatment I had my independence, and a goal of getting better & getting back to work.
Now I have to look at how I'm going to afford to keep a roof over my head, keep my medical benefits & such. Hopefully sis & I will be able to talk about some of this on Thurs. Janet said Kaiser has social workers available to help with the paperwork, and to give advice about supplemental coverage that may be available.
As it is, I screwed up & didn't realize it's been 90 days & I needed to send in Disability paperwork, so I didn't get money from the state on the 15th, and have to file ASAP to get it going again. Plus I'll get the other half of my money from Aflac as well, as soon as I can fax that over to my claims adjuster.
Side effects of being adrift in reality... I guess I need a keeper, and my sis is certainly good for that. But she's been so busy with work & family, I hesitate to dump all this on her -(
Part of what's going on is still finding ways to cope with the eyesite problem, the loss of balance, and a general feeling of being disconnected from reality. I know I seem pretty normal to you guys from the outside, but I gotta tell ya, from the inside it feels like I'm on really strong cold medicine all the time(like Codiene & shit), and everything has a very surreal quality about it. Combine that with memory problems & a faulty sense of time, and I don't know where or when I am. I keep thinking today is Tuesday...
I feel like I'm going through the Stages of Grief, and am slowing working my way around to Acceptance (after anger, denial, bargaing & the rest which I don't know & am too lazy to look up right now)
My focus seems to be narrowed down to escaping reality by watching DVDs, and the cooking.
I need to get inspired to write more for the book, so I can feel like I have a purpose. I feel very useless & purposeless at this point. Last time I was in treatment I had my independence, and a goal of getting better & getting back to work.
Now I have to look at how I'm going to afford to keep a roof over my head, keep my medical benefits & such. Hopefully sis & I will be able to talk about some of this on Thurs. Janet said Kaiser has social workers available to help with the paperwork, and to give advice about supplemental coverage that may be available.
As it is, I screwed up & didn't realize it's been 90 days & I needed to send in Disability paperwork, so I didn't get money from the state on the 15th, and have to file ASAP to get it going again. Plus I'll get the other half of my money from Aflac as well, as soon as I can fax that over to my claims adjuster.
Side effects of being adrift in reality... I guess I need a keeper, and my sis is certainly good for that. But she's been so busy with work & family, I hesitate to dump all this on her -(