Make It Right.
Title: Make It Right
Genre: Angst, Romance, drama, Band!Fic
Rating: NC-17
Summary: DBSK are getting back together.
His eyebrows furrowed together, teeth gnawing his bottom lip; iris’s painted with swirls of emotion he couldn’t speak of. But this was his chance to finally express these feeling? He groaned and hitting his head down onto the table below. He didn’t even know.
It had ended messily. Well that was in prettier words. They had known it was inevitable, just that they had never expected such a harsh reality. When they said freedom they saw the sky, they wanted to soar. But only then did they see the downfall of their optimistic youth. The reality was there was no freedom. Their wings had been tainted black and freedom only a figment of a faraway fantasy.
They had scarified so much, and sometimes he mused; in his million dollar apartment complex, if it was worth it at all?
But years had hardened him, and the guilt did nothing. As much as they tried to stain their dirty thoughts of loyalty and family onto him, he had known, known that he had had to live.
Even if this was a mistake, it was his. He had lived life as a puppet, a ragdoll that could be thrown aside if ever it chose to disobey.
Could he exist so meaninglessly like that?
“No.” He whispered.
He had to know that there was more than this. That the demons painted as heroes and the she-devils carved as the epitome of beauty weren’t the real materialisation of human kind. He had to know there was light behind this blistering darkness.
JaeJoong in his youth had thought that light to be him. But he had proved it that day.
Even angels lose their wings.
He sighed as he lifted his head and picked up the piles of paper stapled together neatly, he had spent hours scrutinizing every word printed on the thin slithers of wood.
A year.
A contract that would mean the collaboration of TVXQ! and JYJ for a year.
JunSu had been eager to agree and YooChun seemed to be albeit indifferent to it. He had proclaimed that he would follow JaeJoong wherever he would go; even if that happened to be back from hell they had endured.
JaeJoong sighed. He knew that YooChun would be the most reluctant to agree, so this had surprised him greatly. And if he was going to be honest then he didn’t believe, not for a second, that he was simply okay with it all.
He hated SM the most.
But as leader the final decision rested on his shoulders.
One thing had lingered in the back of his mind, he didn’t know if he was ready to face them both again; ChangMin and YunHo. But was that even a valid enough reason to stop something that millions of people wanted, had waited for?
He threw the contract back onto the table and got up, running his fingers through his black hair. He muttered and moved to his work room. He collapsed onto his chair, the illuminated screen coming to life with the sudden shake of movement.
The raven’s lips pressed together. There was so much to consider. Was it okay to finally re-unite back to as it were? Was it moral to go back to a place they had deemed hell? What would the fans think? And then the problem of the other two. It had been three long years. Was it as simple as being back together and everything would be okay? ChangMin was so angry. He hated him the most though.
JaeJoong and ChangMin had become so close; they were like ice and water. So alike yet, a stark difference in their personality was blaring obvious. Yet, they had been able to confine in each other’s embrace, share secrets, talk mindlessly for hours and hours about nothing at all. They had been so soul shatteringly close that when JaeJoong had told him about filing a lawsuit and the prospect of them being split, he was furious. JaeJoong didn’t expect a reaction as angry and furious as the one he got. ChangMin wouldn’t even listen.
Thinking back, the raven though of how lightly he had left such a serious discussion. He should have made him listen. Even if he knew ChangMin was never a person to agree, he should have at least forced him to listen to what he had to say.
Maybe then, after some time to think through it all by himself maybe, he wouldn’t have been so angry at them -- at him.
And then there was their former leader. He had taken it better than he had expected. He listened to what they had to say he questioned it and JaeJoong mused, ‘I even thought he was going to join us too.’ After all he though his lover would follow him to the end of time. He was childish wasn’t he? An optimist? Yes. Because he didn’t come. But JaeJoong respected that. He was never the type to force any of his ideas or thoughts on others.
Time drew them apart, they didn’t speak they never made contact. Not that he didn’t try, just that his efforts weren’t reciprocated not in the slightest.
A bitter taste that burned his tongue was left at thought of him former lover.
He had thought of them to at least be okay, not fine but okay.
Then he heard about Ara.
JaeJoong sighed and bit into his lip. He didn’t need unwanted memories of so seemingly long ago filling his mind again. His sanity and his spirit burned every time he thought of such things.
He didn’t want to think of the way he held her or..touched her, kissed her and smiled for her.
Her and not him.
*
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*
“You need to stop this insanity JaeJoong. I can’t stand by and let you- watch you get hurt.”
“I know what I’m doing”
“Do you really?”
He looked at him blankly knowing perfectly well that anything he would say would be useless.
“Please” he begged. “I don’t want you to get hurt” he said softly, his voice quivering.
“I won’t” he said softly “he loves me and I lo-”
He turned his head away sharply “Don’t. He doesn’t deserve it”
The blondes eyebrows furrowed “w-what?”
YooChun thrust a video in his face.
JaeJoong watched in shock, horror anger and utter heartbreak as he saw the familiar build of his lover. He moved swiftly catching the women’s lips in what seemed to be a sweet kiss. He pulled away after a moment and smiled closely against her lips. He wouldn’t mistake that look in his eyes for anything. Because it was the look that he gave him.
He dropped the device to the ground and shut his eyes tightly not believing any of it. His Yunnie would never break his heart like this. He wouldn’t. He knew it. So why was it that his gut was curling and his eyes refusing stop the streams of liquid despair? He chocked a sob and his hands went to his mouth.
YooChun stood there his hair covering his eyes. “I got this from JunKi. He had told me that YunHo and Ara where dating. I hadn’t believed it for a second, because he wouldn’t do this to you. But I was wrong. He sent me this, as proof.” He scoffed. “They certainly aren’t keeping this quite are they? I didn’t take him to be the type to show such obvious forms of affection in public.”
There was something dark about YooChun’s voice. Something scary that had JaeJoong gasping. He had known of this darkness pooling in the deepest part of YooChun’s eyes.
“W-What am I spouse to do?” The blonde’s voice quivered. “How am I-”
“Forget about that bastard” YooChun’s fists curled “The more you love him the deeper he’ll hurt you”
He nodded his heart heavy and his tears burning, YooChun wrapped his arms around him “It won’t always feel this way, you have us Jae”
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