(no subject)
I’m not sure if it just hasn’t sunken in properly or I really don’t care. I’ve been acting pretty indifferent and really I don’t understand why. I’m pretty emotional and a lot of things can set me off. But the thought of crying because I was going to leave Secondary School is..just beyond me.
I think it’s the fact that I hardly like anyone in school. Don’t get me wrong I’m not one of those snarky loners that be little and intimidate everyone. I guess you could say I was normal. Socially fine and have enough in common with people to start a general conversation.
And I also have my close friends which I utterly adore. I think that without them I may have turned into those mind numbing girls that gossip constantly. Seriously I’m oblivious to gossip. I’m quite sure it’s a good thing but I think we can all relate to feeling left out.
But that’s not the point. I feel as though I should feel more about leaving. For five years I’ve studies there, I’ve learned new things, gain experience, met amazing people met some of the most caring and incredible teachers. Yes, at times it has been impossible and monotone but for the most part I learned a lot of non-academic things that I don’t think I can learn anywhere else.
So why am I not sad?
I don’t know really, maybe I think it’s that fact I have so much more to look forward to.
College is going to be awesome. I really can’t wait to meet new amazing people, learn things I couldn’t even comprehend. Maybe even encounter things I had rather not have? It’s all part of growing up and really experiencing life. Instead of dwelling on the apparent sadness of this I think my mindset has already been decided. I’m going to enjoy it, I’m going to look forward to these new experienced and I’m going to hope that it will be joyous and entertaining.
I really can’t wait because I know even with all the shit that’s bound to happen better things will also grace me.
So note to future self
Even if it’s sad always look forward the world is beautiful and filled with even more beautiful people. Some may screw you over but there will always be someone that helps you stand and fly. Don’t ever give up on this okay.