Child Spacing
I emailed my aunt to asking her thoughts I child spacing. She wrote a really thoughtful repsonse back that I thought I'd share. (FYI- she and my uncle have 3 kids and my uncle has three older kids from a previous marriage that lived with them full time until recently.)
Michelle was born 10/30/96 & the twins, Sabrina & William 7/16/98. There is 21 ½ months between Michelle & the twins. In preschool, 1 grade separated them but when Michelle got to kindergarten I held her back (because around here a lot of the schools cut off date is Sept), Now there is no grade between them. In our house, it goes like this: Last yr, Sabrina had “Michelle’s teacher” and this year William has “Michelle’s” from the yr before. I
Our kids get along great and this age span has worked well!! They play together, seem to experience things at roughly the same time and like to do similar things so it’s easy for us as a family to all have fun & grow together!! (This actually is a big thing ‘cause I have a lot of friends whose kids because of age spans don’t want to hang out with each other or are not interested in the same things.)
“Ideal” age span to me would be 2 ½ yrs (any where from 2 - 3yrmax) so that there is 1 school grade in between. This way the kids developmentally go thru the same things (after about 3). They really play/grow up together and yet there is enough distance to be “individuals” and you can focus on each one’s distinct needs. The closer the kids are in age the easier it is on you in the sense that you are in the same mind set to deal with similar issues but it is way more physically exhausting! When Ali was living with us it was hard to “switch gears” and deal with her & home work & “older” issues after a full day of elementary school stuff (6 yrs span). Likewise, with a 4 yr span you would be dealing with middle school & elementary life’s which are completely different!
There are many ways to look at it. From a financial perspective, 4 yr spacing is ideal so that if your child needs private school (and college) you have only 1 financial burden at the same time. From a kid’s perspective, however, he/she loses out in truly playing/connecting with siblings when they are children. In th8is case, you would have to arrange more play dates when they are young but as they get older you would have a built in babysitter!
All this being said, you never know what happens! And, you adapt, appreciate and love whatever you get!!
Steve & I started trying “early” with the twins ‘cause I wanted my kids to be close in age and Steve & I were both “older” . I had seen a lot of my friends (in their mid30s) have big trouble getting pregnant. Since you’re still young, this is not really your issue…!
Good luck-hope this helps
Luv, V
Michelle was born 10/30/96 & the twins, Sabrina & William 7/16/98. There is 21 ½ months between Michelle & the twins. In preschool, 1 grade separated them but when Michelle got to kindergarten I held her back (because around here a lot of the schools cut off date is Sept), Now there is no grade between them. In our house, it goes like this: Last yr, Sabrina had “Michelle’s teacher” and this year William has “Michelle’s” from the yr before. I
Our kids get along great and this age span has worked well!! They play together, seem to experience things at roughly the same time and like to do similar things so it’s easy for us as a family to all have fun & grow together!! (This actually is a big thing ‘cause I have a lot of friends whose kids because of age spans don’t want to hang out with each other or are not interested in the same things.)
“Ideal” age span to me would be 2 ½ yrs (any where from 2 - 3yrmax) so that there is 1 school grade in between. This way the kids developmentally go thru the same things (after about 3). They really play/grow up together and yet there is enough distance to be “individuals” and you can focus on each one’s distinct needs. The closer the kids are in age the easier it is on you in the sense that you are in the same mind set to deal with similar issues but it is way more physically exhausting! When Ali was living with us it was hard to “switch gears” and deal with her & home work & “older” issues after a full day of elementary school stuff (6 yrs span). Likewise, with a 4 yr span you would be dealing with middle school & elementary life’s which are completely different!
There are many ways to look at it. From a financial perspective, 4 yr spacing is ideal so that if your child needs private school (and college) you have only 1 financial burden at the same time. From a kid’s perspective, however, he/she loses out in truly playing/connecting with siblings when they are children. In th8is case, you would have to arrange more play dates when they are young but as they get older you would have a built in babysitter!
All this being said, you never know what happens! And, you adapt, appreciate and love whatever you get!!
Steve & I started trying “early” with the twins ‘cause I wanted my kids to be close in age and Steve & I were both “older” . I had seen a lot of my friends (in their mid30s) have big trouble getting pregnant. Since you’re still young, this is not really your issue…!
Good luck-hope this helps
Luv, V