rim jobs.. i get it.
sooo, good afternoon/evening. lol. i woke up pretty early this morning. about 8, 7:30ish. i hate waking up early but i have woken up early in suuuch a long time. it felt nice. today so far has been a little stressful. i've been spending the whole day so far with christopherrrr. <3 i love him. his mom has been stressing him out today. she txted earlier being all creepy saying she missed him &how she's scared she's not going to see him for the holidays. well, hello?! he's fucking 21 years old. she's not going to see him every day. i mean, i know it's his mom &i know she misses &loves him, but she doesn't have to be creepy about it. &his sister.. oh, don't even get me started about her. she is a freak &a half. soooo annoying. she tried to get chris &her cousin in a lotttt of trouble &said some pretty bad things &he'll never be able to forgive her. she lies about everything. she would even lie about the time. it's stupid. she stole my pipe &gave it to her little boyfriend &told me &chris that her boyfriend stole them &won't give them back. YEAH RIGHT! that bitch took them &gave them to him. fucking idiot. anyways, it makes me feel bad when his mom does this whole pity party thing because it makes me feel like i'm taking her son away from her when in a way i kind of am. i want him alllll to myself. i'm fucking selfish. buut, i love him mom. even though today she tried to pressure chris into like getting close to his sister &stuff again, he just doesn't want to &she keeps pushing it on him, &it's stressing him out. i feel bad. i feel helpless because i can't really say the ral things i want to say because i know it would upset chris's mom and i think it would upset chris. idk. just talking about all of this is irritating me. it's fucking gay.
okay sooo, chris has tomorrow &wednesday off &i'm soo excited because we haven't really been able to spend that much time together because of his work schedule which is wicked gay. he works like all day long. i need a job. really bad. lol. shit is gay right now.
okay so my answer to the writer's block today is if i could relive one hour it would be the hour my dad died.. because i know i could have stopped it. to do it differently i would have just stayed home with him instead of begging to go to a friend's house. he was drunk &didn't want me to go to a friend's because we were arguing. i think it would have changed my life if i did that because he'd probably still be alive &wouldn't have taken off in his car drunk &he wouldn't have gone home &overdosed. it's retarded. ughhh, but i probably wouldn't have met the love of my life. but i still miss my daddy.
soo i've edited this thing twice and the lj-cut won't go away. i used it before i edited twice &it just won't go away, so ignore it. lol.