Not Another Photoshoot
Pairing: JYJ!friendship
Genre: Comedy/Crack
Rating: PG-13
Summary: With a new calender to put out the three are called to do a photoshoot and the theme could not be any more fun: NOT, TOTALLY NOT.ztarplay this is totally your fault
It started like any mundane company meeting, the one where you discuss how you’re going to milk fans of their cash or proverbially ‘let’s do a photo book where you guys are all good looking that’ll make them fangirls panties drop and the sails ship.’ They’ve done their fair share of them and concepts be damned from furry costumes to no shirts and some other things in-between. They really needed something new or at least new-ish and everyone was wanting to pitch in.
“So, I have this idea. . .” Junsu is always enthusiastic.
“Dammit, Junsu we are not having a cat-themed photo book!” Jaejong is always in question.
“Not everything that comes out of my mouth is about cats, hyung and excuse me for not wanting a naked photo book. You have your instagram for that! And besides how do you know I was even remotely close to suggesting that?!”
“Duh, who was the one wearing a sparkly leopard coat to the airport, huh?”
This is totally how every meeting goes; pitch ideas-get turned down and repeat until you come to a stand still or agreement. It was obvious that the two Kims were totally into visual concepts and one Park was totally not into having to put any kind of effort. It was a harmonious war, as it had always been.
“Uh, Park-sshi how about you, any ideas?” the art director whispers who knows at this point that this question was futile but he had to be professional and somehow glue together something.
“Umm, I don’t really know. You know I’m not into these things. . .maybe nature?”
Art Director-nim grumbles with those three ideas: cats, nakedness and nature. The fuck does he know to create cohesiveness with this. Cats. . Naked. . .Nature. . .
Tarzan.
It totally makes sense now.
The theme will be Tarzan.
Tarzan has leopards, tigers or whatever wild animals (for Junsu); Tarzan is naked or wears a loincloth (obviously Jaejoong will choose the first option); Tarzan lives in the jungle which all nature and trees (Yoochun will pose under a pile of leaves or dangle from a vine)
Fuck his job. Fuck these three.
***
The three are ushered into a big celebrity van at 4 AM to give them ample time to travel to their destination. It was hard enough to have a schedule open for the three of them but with fangirls rabid it was best to go far, very, very far from prying girls.
Jaejoong is still hyper from the lack of sleep and maybe half a bottle of whiskey but is generally able to climb on inside. Junsu being the health-freak that he is slept at 7 the night before just to ensure a complete night’s rest. Yoochun has fallen back asleep at the back of the van as soon as he sits down.
Everything is calm for now.
For the driver that is good enough for his sanity.
An hour later they make a first stop at the gas station, the driver filling up the van with fuel. The three go out of the car to stretch their legs a bit and talk to the art director and photographer who are (for their own safety) in another car. They all go inside the small station to grab snacks and whatnots and Jaejoong mostly stashing alcohol.
“So what is the finalised concept?” Junsu asks as he makes a grab for the healthy granola bar all whilst reading the nutritional information. Scavenging for the healthiest thing he would be able to buy in small mart which is not much.
Yoochun is close by lingering the other aisle still probably half-asleep and Jaejoong hands him some bottles of alcohol and he obliges without much fight. But really only truly trying to gossip about what they were to do for this particular calendar shoot and possibly refute whatever cat related ideas Junsu would unavoidably suggest.
“It’s camping- you know just a couple of friends having fun. You do the whole cliche of setting up a tent, campfires and looking at the stars. Just girly things.”
The last bit comes out as mumble.
“The colour palette will be lovely as it is autumn so we did want to capture the season but we may have to go to the nearby lake to take more summer type photos.”
Yoochun nods, “So which park are we going to for that?” looking quickly at his phone for nearby establishments and camping sites, scouring for the reviews and facilities.
“The campsite near the lake I can’t remember the name starts with an R. . .”
Yoochun nods again looking over his phone. Jaejoong continues to prance around the store yelling from the freezer aisle “Do you think this sausage tastes good? We need something to grill.” Junsu meanwhile looks for fruits and salads.
“I think I found it. They look like they have really clean cabins and toilets.” Yoochun flips through the pictures, showing the director the different styles of available cabins.
“Uh. .we didn’t get a cabin though. We thought we need it to be as authentic as possible so we only got a tent space.”
What.
Junsu laughs “Yeah right, as if that would ever happen.”
The director tugs his collar.
“You’re going to be in tents. No cabin rooms. It’s a real camping trip!” he exclaims totally excited.
It quickly goes downhill from there.
Yoochun ends up buying 40 rolls of toilet paper, 3 big bottles of liquid hand soap, 2 big bottles of hand sanitiser and 30 packs of wet wipes and 2 bug sprays. He almost buys the port-a-potty from the construction workers across the streets (and almost succeeds) until Jaejoong points out that it had been used already.
Junsu sends a text to his lawyer asking if it’s plausible to draft a last will and testament for his cats.
***
They do arrive in the middle of nowhere Korea just before noon and the photographers set up immediately. Yoochun sulks at the back of the car along with his sanitation stock unwillingly, Jaejoong tries looking for a signal and Junsu is handwriting the draft the lawyer sent him.
The team finishes the set up and the trio have no other choice but to go on with it. “So what are we going to do with this space and pile of dirt?” Jaejoong kicks around the stones at his feet, totally perplexed at the ‘no set up’ set up.
“You guys have to pitch the tent first.” the staff flatly states.
There’s a moment of silence.
With that everyone knows this is going to be a long, long, arduous day.
It takes them faster than expected to make the tent; adding to the vastness inside they begin setting up makeshift beds and pump air into the mattresses. The stylists give them what to wear and the three hustle inside to change.
“I guess it’s not so bad, they did give us the mega tent thank goodness.” Junsu has a scuffle with the pants. (“Dammit they should know by know I need the extra stretch fabric one.”)
Jaejoong is too busy scrutinising the stylists’ pick, it didn’t seem ‘Jaejoong; enough for him and he needed to do something about that. He needed to find scissors somewhere and wonders if one of the staff has one. “Well it’s a good thing I got some instant ramen just in case we starve to death.”
Yoochun is the fist one to finish dressing up and is still lamenting about the whole ordeal. If he was able to to Sea Fog maybe he could slug this one up and if anything at least he had the other two with him. He goes out of the tent and surveys the area- well he did ask for nature.
And what he got was too much nature now.
They do go about the shoot in without much drama unless you count Jaejoong insisting to have a picture with just a branch covering him. It wasn’t until Junsu makes an off handed comment about how all he really needed was a leaf that Jaejoong scraps the idea and flings the said branch towards his younger bandmate. Junsu continues to pester him the whole day by tucking leaves into various clothing Jaejoong puts on.
Despite having a mega tent the fact remains that they’re three grown men sharing somewhat one bed’ or in their case 3 air mattresses side by side. As much as Yoochun wanted to move his mattress there was only really one flat sheet covering it and no he did not want to risk sleeping on a sheet-less mattress. Junsu had no problem plopping down one end and neither did Jaejoong on the other.
Junsu easily plays with his games to quell his boredom. “Why don’t you come to bed already?”
Yoochun picks out from his luggage pile and takes out Febreeze from his haul and points it at the two on the bed. “Move it or I’ll spray on you too.” The two laugh until they are actually assaulted by the mist.
“Why can’t you at least change your clothes before hopping on the bed?! You guys are so disgusting!” The Lysol is the next weapon on Yoochun’s arsenal and he practically soaks the sheets. Jaejoong opens the tent zipper just so he could breathe. Junsu is wise to stay out of this but as he smells the Febreeze and Lysol combo on his skin he can only wrinkle his nose.
After the sanitation department (aka Yoochun) finishes Junsu is able to change into his pajamas but opts to sit on the chair in fear of ‘the mist.’ Jaejoong is standing next to him looking pensive, “I think we have a problem.”
Junsu gnaws on his lips, “Yeah and it’s all the Lysol.” but Jaejoong only plops down the other chair. “I mean I don’t have pajamas and I don’t want to get sprayed down. Can I just borrow yours?” Why did his band member have to be an exhibitionist? Why why why.
After Yoochun cleans they settle on it the three make a JYJ sandwich, “I just realised this is probably the first time we did a JYJ formation.” Junsu mutters totally decked out in cat pajamas while beside him Yoochun -Jaejoong feigns sleep.
‘J-Fucking -Y -J’, Yoochun thinks he has never questioned that name until now and when Jaejoong ‘accidentally’ grazes his thigh with his clammy fingers he discovers he FUCKING hates it now.
Genre: Comedy/Crack
Rating: PG-13
Summary: With a new calender to put out the three are called to do a photoshoot and the theme could not be any more fun: NOT, TOTALLY NOT.ztarplay this is totally your fault
It started like any mundane company meeting, the one where you discuss how you’re going to milk fans of their cash or proverbially ‘let’s do a photo book where you guys are all good looking that’ll make them fangirls panties drop and the sails ship.’ They’ve done their fair share of them and concepts be damned from furry costumes to no shirts and some other things in-between. They really needed something new or at least new-ish and everyone was wanting to pitch in.
“So, I have this idea. . .” Junsu is always enthusiastic.
“Dammit, Junsu we are not having a cat-themed photo book!” Jaejong is always in question.
“Not everything that comes out of my mouth is about cats, hyung and excuse me for not wanting a naked photo book. You have your instagram for that! And besides how do you know I was even remotely close to suggesting that?!”
“Duh, who was the one wearing a sparkly leopard coat to the airport, huh?”
This is totally how every meeting goes; pitch ideas-get turned down and repeat until you come to a stand still or agreement. It was obvious that the two Kims were totally into visual concepts and one Park was totally not into having to put any kind of effort. It was a harmonious war, as it had always been.
“Uh, Park-sshi how about you, any ideas?” the art director whispers who knows at this point that this question was futile but he had to be professional and somehow glue together something.
“Umm, I don’t really know. You know I’m not into these things. . .maybe nature?”
Art Director-nim grumbles with those three ideas: cats, nakedness and nature. The fuck does he know to create cohesiveness with this. Cats. . Naked. . .Nature. . .
Tarzan.
It totally makes sense now.
The theme will be Tarzan.
Tarzan has leopards, tigers or whatever wild animals (for Junsu); Tarzan is naked or wears a loincloth (obviously Jaejoong will choose the first option); Tarzan lives in the jungle which all nature and trees (Yoochun will pose under a pile of leaves or dangle from a vine)
Fuck his job. Fuck these three.
***
The three are ushered into a big celebrity van at 4 AM to give them ample time to travel to their destination. It was hard enough to have a schedule open for the three of them but with fangirls rabid it was best to go far, very, very far from prying girls.
Jaejoong is still hyper from the lack of sleep and maybe half a bottle of whiskey but is generally able to climb on inside. Junsu being the health-freak that he is slept at 7 the night before just to ensure a complete night’s rest. Yoochun has fallen back asleep at the back of the van as soon as he sits down.
Everything is calm for now.
For the driver that is good enough for his sanity.
An hour later they make a first stop at the gas station, the driver filling up the van with fuel. The three go out of the car to stretch their legs a bit and talk to the art director and photographer who are (for their own safety) in another car. They all go inside the small station to grab snacks and whatnots and Jaejoong mostly stashing alcohol.
“So what is the finalised concept?” Junsu asks as he makes a grab for the healthy granola bar all whilst reading the nutritional information. Scavenging for the healthiest thing he would be able to buy in small mart which is not much.
Yoochun is close by lingering the other aisle still probably half-asleep and Jaejoong hands him some bottles of alcohol and he obliges without much fight. But really only truly trying to gossip about what they were to do for this particular calendar shoot and possibly refute whatever cat related ideas Junsu would unavoidably suggest.
“It’s camping- you know just a couple of friends having fun. You do the whole cliche of setting up a tent, campfires and looking at the stars. Just girly things.”
The last bit comes out as mumble.
“The colour palette will be lovely as it is autumn so we did want to capture the season but we may have to go to the nearby lake to take more summer type photos.”
Yoochun nods, “So which park are we going to for that?” looking quickly at his phone for nearby establishments and camping sites, scouring for the reviews and facilities.
“The campsite near the lake I can’t remember the name starts with an R. . .”
Yoochun nods again looking over his phone. Jaejoong continues to prance around the store yelling from the freezer aisle “Do you think this sausage tastes good? We need something to grill.” Junsu meanwhile looks for fruits and salads.
“I think I found it. They look like they have really clean cabins and toilets.” Yoochun flips through the pictures, showing the director the different styles of available cabins.
“Uh. .we didn’t get a cabin though. We thought we need it to be as authentic as possible so we only got a tent space.”
What.
Junsu laughs “Yeah right, as if that would ever happen.”
The director tugs his collar.
“You’re going to be in tents. No cabin rooms. It’s a real camping trip!” he exclaims totally excited.
It quickly goes downhill from there.
Yoochun ends up buying 40 rolls of toilet paper, 3 big bottles of liquid hand soap, 2 big bottles of hand sanitiser and 30 packs of wet wipes and 2 bug sprays. He almost buys the port-a-potty from the construction workers across the streets (and almost succeeds) until Jaejoong points out that it had been used already.
Junsu sends a text to his lawyer asking if it’s plausible to draft a last will and testament for his cats.
***
They do arrive in the middle of nowhere Korea just before noon and the photographers set up immediately. Yoochun sulks at the back of the car along with his sanitation stock unwillingly, Jaejoong tries looking for a signal and Junsu is handwriting the draft the lawyer sent him.
The team finishes the set up and the trio have no other choice but to go on with it. “So what are we going to do with this space and pile of dirt?” Jaejoong kicks around the stones at his feet, totally perplexed at the ‘no set up’ set up.
“You guys have to pitch the tent first.” the staff flatly states.
There’s a moment of silence.
With that everyone knows this is going to be a long, long, arduous day.
It takes them faster than expected to make the tent; adding to the vastness inside they begin setting up makeshift beds and pump air into the mattresses. The stylists give them what to wear and the three hustle inside to change.
“I guess it’s not so bad, they did give us the mega tent thank goodness.” Junsu has a scuffle with the pants. (“Dammit they should know by know I need the extra stretch fabric one.”)
Jaejoong is too busy scrutinising the stylists’ pick, it didn’t seem ‘Jaejoong; enough for him and he needed to do something about that. He needed to find scissors somewhere and wonders if one of the staff has one. “Well it’s a good thing I got some instant ramen just in case we starve to death.”
Yoochun is the fist one to finish dressing up and is still lamenting about the whole ordeal. If he was able to to Sea Fog maybe he could slug this one up and if anything at least he had the other two with him. He goes out of the tent and surveys the area- well he did ask for nature.
And what he got was too much nature now.
They do go about the shoot in without much drama unless you count Jaejoong insisting to have a picture with just a branch covering him. It wasn’t until Junsu makes an off handed comment about how all he really needed was a leaf that Jaejoong scraps the idea and flings the said branch towards his younger bandmate. Junsu continues to pester him the whole day by tucking leaves into various clothing Jaejoong puts on.
Despite having a mega tent the fact remains that they’re three grown men sharing somewhat one bed’ or in their case 3 air mattresses side by side. As much as Yoochun wanted to move his mattress there was only really one flat sheet covering it and no he did not want to risk sleeping on a sheet-less mattress. Junsu had no problem plopping down one end and neither did Jaejoong on the other.
Junsu easily plays with his games to quell his boredom. “Why don’t you come to bed already?”
Yoochun picks out from his luggage pile and takes out Febreeze from his haul and points it at the two on the bed. “Move it or I’ll spray on you too.” The two laugh until they are actually assaulted by the mist.
“Why can’t you at least change your clothes before hopping on the bed?! You guys are so disgusting!” The Lysol is the next weapon on Yoochun’s arsenal and he practically soaks the sheets. Jaejoong opens the tent zipper just so he could breathe. Junsu is wise to stay out of this but as he smells the Febreeze and Lysol combo on his skin he can only wrinkle his nose.
After the sanitation department (aka Yoochun) finishes Junsu is able to change into his pajamas but opts to sit on the chair in fear of ‘the mist.’ Jaejoong is standing next to him looking pensive, “I think we have a problem.”
Junsu gnaws on his lips, “Yeah and it’s all the Lysol.” but Jaejoong only plops down the other chair. “I mean I don’t have pajamas and I don’t want to get sprayed down. Can I just borrow yours?” Why did his band member have to be an exhibitionist? Why why why.
After Yoochun cleans they settle on it the three make a JYJ sandwich, “I just realised this is probably the first time we did a JYJ formation.” Junsu mutters totally decked out in cat pajamas while beside him Yoochun -Jaejoong feigns sleep.
‘J-Fucking -Y -J’, Yoochun thinks he has never questioned that name until now and when Jaejoong ‘accidentally’ grazes his thigh with his clammy fingers he discovers he FUCKING hates it now.