all the roads to you
Pairing: Changmin/Yoocuhun
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Having always been together all their lives Changmin doesn't know any other way, nor he wants to
i.
(‘i love you, you know that right?’
the way changmin holds him he knows of this truth, the surest thing he understands. yoochun nods, fighting back his tears as he holds changmin’s hands on his face. they look like they’re about to break and that is the one truth yoochun hates.
‘i do. i love you too. i want you to succeed okay?’
the way yoochun puts him first he knows of no other great love. changmin wipes his tears, unwary of his own trailing down his face. the packed suitcases are too obvious, his passport in his pocket and tickets are all too real. this is how they end.)
ii.
changmin arrives to a different air, different country, different continent but he’s sure he’s still the same person who loves the same man. he walks in quietly at the inn checking his surroundings first before plopping down on the bed. he resists the urge to call yoochun immediately noting the time difference, he wants to sleep right now just because yoochun is too.
( ‘jet lag sucks’ yoochun says out loud, sprawled on the bed with changmin beside him it’s an ungodly hour. changmin shuffles to stand, “get dressed, we’re going out!’ he says putting on his jacket and sneakers. yoochun huffs, ‘what the hell can we see at this hour?’ they need to sleep for tomorrow. ‘dunno, we’re about to find out’
they end up getting free drinks at a random bar because of drunk patrons. walk in on a couple having sex (they were in the alley for goodness sake) they see all the tourist sights without the people. they get a history lesson from the janitor outside the museum that no other book could provide.
they kiss as the sun rises. )
iii.
he arrives at the destination, camera at hand taking pictures of everything and anything. ‘i don’t want you to miss anything’ he tells the wind hoping it reaches the one he wants the most. they used to do these together, travel hand and hand but the empty space beside him will be his new company.
( they’re both running, changmin ahead as yoochun trails behind him obviously winded. the train is leaving in seconds and they have to hurry up. changmin makes it inside and turns to help yoochun only for the door to close and the train to run, the other man in shock as changmin screams as he watches yoochun at the concourse.
yoochun arrives at the next station, changmin waiting for him at the bench. he looks up to see the other man, he’s cried and yoochun starts laughing. ‘yah, did you really cry?’ pointing at the tear tracks on his face. “shut up i got scared okay?” yoochun laughs some more, “i’m an adult i’m pretty sure i can fend for myself.’ changmin glares at him unamused, “i left you, i’m mad at myself.” )
iv.
the mountains are vast, nature’s work at it’s finest but he’d have to disagree with the experts: yoochun is the most beautiful thing he’s seen. he raises his camera to take a picture of it, the white against the blue and he sits down to breathe it all in. he loads his camera with a new card labelling it before he trudges on. nature calming him down, cracks of pebbles under his shoes. the smell of trees relaxing, the sounds of water gushing and the animals in their habitat prancing along.
( it’s raining and changmin zips up the tent they’re staying at, yoochun is under the fleece blanket warming himself. they’ve been planning this camping trip a while and they didn’t want to not go just because of rain. changmin thinks it may not be such a wise idea with the way the rain is pelting. yoochun is calm humming to himself while he’s agitated, “it’ll be fine.’ he assures him and changmin only lays back down.
the night is quiet except for the rain and in a way it’s kinda relaxing. yoochun turns to him and raises his eyebrow at him. yoochun kisses him out of the blue and he can only follow, there’s a a certain way he kisses that feels different and changmin can’t put why. “i love you.” yoochun tells him and his eyes widen finally understanding the difference. he goes back to kissing yoochun before murmuring “i love you too.” the rain hearing their confessions. the way the shadows play on yoochun’s face is the the epitome of beauty. )
v.
the bridge is long, fog just coming in to block the view and changmin tightens his jacket around his body. there are other couples walking and he can’t help but feel jealous. he reaches the park at the end intent on walking around, he finds a quiet spot and just sits watching everyone pass him by. just a few feet away he watches a man go down on his knees a loud scream is heard as the woman begins to cry. there’s a box in his hand, the woman gasping- changmin reaches for his camera and takes the perfect shot. the next scene is joy and he can hear the laughter from all that witnessed it.
( yoochun is driving his finger tapping with the music on the radio changmin is watching the windows. they stop at the beach hours away from their home and yoochun goes out of the car. he runs towards the waves screaming all the way as the cold water almost devours him. changmin shouts for him and laughs at the silliness and they find themselves playing by the edge.
after they run to the abandoned wooden house at the end of the beach, no one else out during the cold day. yoochun turns his back towards him takes off his clothes hanging them by the window and changmin can’t help but take a peak at yoochun’s back. they’re naked and changmin finds it in himself to blush. the waves keep crashing making loud noises but his heartbeat is the loudest. he can’t help but reach out to yoochun and the other gives in to his touch. he grows bolder touching yoochun’s chest, his side, down his hips mapping out his flesh the other just watching him. their eyes meet and changmin pulls yoochun in for a kiss.
they make love to the waves crashing and changmin won’t forget the sounds from yoochun’s lips. )
vi.
there’s a local concert and changmin can’t help but check it out, it’s a local band and changmin finds himself swaying with the music. he doesn’t understand the language but music is universal tingling in his soul. he records some sound bites hoping to loop it together when he gets back to the inn, yoochun would have loved to hear it. the sounds are booming, echoing and haunting, mixed beats and staccatos. changmin only assumes the song is about love.
( “you have to go!” yoochun shouts at him and changmin just wants for him to shut up. “this is such an opportunity!” he adds, looking at the piece of paper waving it at changmin’s face. he grabs it and tosses it at the table, “but what about you?” he asks voice on the edge. yoochun just looks at the floor before looking at him “it’s okay- i’ll stay here.” he says quietly but his voice is betraying him.
“i want to be with you.” changmin reasons with yoochun almost pleading holding his hand. the other just shakes his head, “you don’t need to be. my mom will help me anyway.” yoochun tells him to reassure changmin he isn’t making a bad decision. “i want to take care of you.”
“i don’t want your life to stop. you don’t need to pause your life for me.” )
vii.
it’s nearing midnight when changmin arrives at the inn, most of the other people are asleep if the quietness is any indication. he goes inside the room and checks his phone for messages to find nothing. he lays down on his bed, staring at the ceiling the quiet is not comforting. he checks the weather back home making sure it’s not raining even checking the air index. he keeps looking at the local news before he sits up to go to his computer, mind totally elsewhere: on someone.
(“he’s going to need to undergo treatment.” the doctor says to the both of them. yoochun is too stunned to ask any questions, changmin’s mind is racing already. “what’s the prognosis?!” he exclaims looking at the sheet of paper. yoochun has turned too quiet picking at his jeans, changmin is looking at the doctor for reassurance. “it can take around six months and then we’ll see from there.”
they go out hand in hand changmin’s grip tight on yoochun’s. “we’ll get through this.” changmin says sitting down on their car unable to drive out. yoochun just looks at him before he finally cries and changmin embraces him but trying to calm his own self. “you’re going to be okay.” he tells yoochun and he tells himself that as well wanting so much to believe. )
viii.
the terminal is busy with rushing passengers and he makes his way to a vacant seat plopping his feet up his luggage. he muses if he should dial yoochun’s number but dial’s another one instead, “hey jae, i have a favour to ask of you.” he starts biting his lip. he smiles when the call ends leaning his head back to relax. the announcements going pass him. he boards the plane and looks at one last time out the window before he finally sleeps.
( “don’t worry about me, okay? i’ll be fine.” )
ix.
jaejoong picks him up it’s an ungodly hour, they hug before changmin puts his things at the back. “i knew you’d do this.” jajeoong tells him as he drives towards an all too familiar house. changmin looks at the familiar scenery, “i couldn’t do it.” he tells jaejoong and the other just nods. “he’ll be surprised and pissed but he’ll eventually come around” jae laughs and changmin just smiles. they arrive at the house and jae helps him with his things. yoochun’s mother ushers them in giving the boy a hug and a kiss on the cheek. he quietly opens the door to yoochun’s room seeing him asleep and he feels home.
( “by the time you get back I’ll be done with my treatments.” )
x.
“i can’t be without you. i choose to be with you.”
yoochun wakes up to changmin.