I'm about ready to blow my brains out again. FUCK I'm tired of this shit, first it's my mom then Kim what the fuck? All the things my dad told me I could've had an older sister if my mom hadn't had an abortion, could have had a daughter if sarah hadn't had an abortion, kim breaks up with me and gives me no rreason, then the day before what would ( Read more... )

I don't do shit to her other than care for her and love her and what does she do she says "i found someone else" "I love you but not in love with you" she's just like my fucking mom. I want to die someone slit my wrists or shoot me please. I'm tired of putting my heart into someone just for it to get ripped out and thrown on the ground. Someone ( Read more... )

creepy I used to have an apple tree in my back yard. So today was blah, I went and hung out with a few "friends" and went to laser edge and played tag. Other than that I've been sitting at home wishing I could go somewhere ( Read more... )

Well short of sounding like a defeatist, I'm giving up. It must not be the right time or its just not ment to happen. I'll try and forget about what I want and just sit here being lonesome like I always am. If anyone thinks they know what I'm talking about, take a guess I can tell you you're propably wrong already.

Its funny people like myself, if there are any out there, pursue something they can't have. They, I should say we, do so until we have nothing left to pursue. Maybe its because its just gone or you missed your chance. Its kinda depressing, but hey that for some reason is the way i live my life ( Read more... )

Well I'm still here....... again. So I lose 11 lbs. and its still not enough. Borner didn't even know my max weight is 201. So now I have to lose another 7 lbs. but thats ok, I'll give the army one more chance, if it doesn't work this time I'll just enlist marines I already know I could get shiped under their standards ( Read more... )

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Bored, nothing to do, ummmmm yeah I've been thinking about getting out all those old poems I wrote years ago and just throwing them out. They are just depressing anyways. But that would mean I'd have to move my matress, but I think I'm a little too lazy for that right now. I don't know, I'm supposed to leave next week, but if I don't I think I'm ( Read more... )

Been bored all day, so I've read one of my books for awhile and worked on restoring my M-1 carbine again. Its coming along nicely. Other than that nothing! Damn today was boring.