Question: I don't know much outside of Survey of Psychology and Development Psych in college, but do sociopaths feel anything at all? I mean, do you actually experience friendships and relationship, or do you just act the emotion? Or is just kind of half and half?
What I experience, emotionally, is almost entirely selfish. If I'm "happy", it's usually because something I enjoy took place (someone getting hurt, someone being insulted)...if I'm upset, it's usually because I'm not getting what I want or one of my "toys" (what I call people I 'use') finally decides to walk. The only real emotion I have towards other people is anger. I'm quick to anger and hardly ever "forgive or forget". I have people who I consider to be my friends but they are dispensable to me. If I need to, I will use them to "cover my ass", or benefit somehow. My "real friends" are usually people I actually like for one reason or another, and/or we share common interests. I stick up for my "friends" but I still feel nothing beyond "like" for them, which can
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"Without Conscience" is a good book to read for those curious about sociopaths and it covers all types, not just the "killers/criminals".
It gives "warning signs" and all kinds of things to look for.
However, a "good" sociopath (such as myself) would also read that book and learn to out-smart the person who's trying to protect themselves.
I always "find a way in". Even in college, I convinced some of my teachers (who were ex-cops, one even worked for the FBI) that I was just an innocent little girl, all the while asking all kinds of questions of how someone would get away with this or that crime. They had no idea. They loved me.
An interesting question to pose especially as someone diagnosed as having APD. In the interest of shared honesty I'll give you my honest opinion...a tit for tat, as it were, haha
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I mentioned previously compartmentalizing and becoming so "lost" that I almost exploded and killed people...that was when I had myself admitted. I've been in and out of temporary mental health facilities when the urges get too strong. Not because I'm "scared to go to prison" or "don't want to hurt someone"...I actually enjoy inflicting pain...but my main reason is, I'm just not "ready" yet.
Oh, well, I didn't think you'd ever commit yourself out of not wanting to hurt others, I'm not naive. And I know fear of prison wouldn't be a real factor either; my understanding is that the threat of future punishments doesn't do much to curb whatever desires a sociopath has. I figured more...well...think how boring it'd be if you got locked up? Not as much freedom in prison and all that.
Now I have a question if that's alright...what do you think of people having "levels" of sociopathy? Do you think there are levels at all or is it all or nothing? (I ask because, well, it's a debate in psychology - some believe that it's possible for someone to, say, not have compassion for others but be able to consider the consequences of their actions or maybe have some compassion, but only after following their impulses.) Any thoughts?
Divert and channels your interests into a profession or hobby that is considered socially productive, yet still lets you fulfill your needs in some way. If you can.
I have so many interests though...sexual sadism and homicide dominate my thoughts...I've tried drawing to "channel it out"...I'm currently writing a novel that will "let some of it out"...but it never really goes away.
I have all sorts of paraphilias too...I doubt there's a profession or hobby that will ever fully satisfy me the way ...that one thing..would.
Paraphilias tend to be precursor to sexual homicide. (yayyy)
Be careful with 'channelling', the catharsis method is a load of crap, it tends to stimulate whatever thoughts you're trying to get rid of, increase arousal [not necessarily sexual, but physical] and can actually make you much more likely to do whatever it is you're trying to avoid.
Yeah...that happens to me...especially during sex..."normal" sex bores me...I want blood and violence (because I went through puberty while being raped violently and "learned" that "that's how it should be", I guess)...and if I start drifting into my "fantasy land" during the act, I feel the urges to change that fantasy to reality growing.
Before you were diagnosed or when you were young did you always have that lack of feeling? Do the psychiatrists attribute the head injurys to the Anti-Social or do they think more of it was natural?
The lack of feeling almost seemed to progres/worsen, with each "bad" event that happened. It started at the age of 6 or so when my grandmother (who was my best friend) died. My mother lied to me and said "she's just sleeping" and made me go to school. I knew she wasn't "just sleeping". I went to school, was pissed all day, came home and my mother said "she died while you were in school. I'm so sorry." That's when I really first started to 1. turn cold, 2. grow a little hostile/agressive, 3. learn that "lying is okay" and 4. hate my mother (which has also grown over the years
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What I experience, emotionally, is almost entirely selfish. If I'm "happy", it's usually because something I enjoy took place (someone getting hurt, someone being insulted)...if I'm upset, it's usually because I'm not getting what I want or one of my "toys" (what I call people I 'use') finally decides to walk. The only real emotion I have towards other people is anger. I'm quick to anger and hardly ever "forgive or forget". I have people who I consider to be my friends but they are dispensable to me. If I need to, I will use them to "cover my ass", or benefit somehow. My "real friends" are usually people I actually like for one reason or another, and/or we share common interests. I stick up for my "friends" but I still feel nothing beyond "like" for them, which can ( ... )
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It gives "warning signs" and all kinds of things to look for.
However, a "good" sociopath (such as myself) would also read that book and learn to out-smart the person who's trying to protect themselves.
I always "find a way in". Even in college, I convinced some of my teachers (who were ex-cops, one even worked for the FBI) that I was just an innocent little girl, all the while asking all kinds of questions of how someone would get away with this or that crime. They had no idea. They loved me.
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Now I have a question if that's alright...what do you think of people having "levels" of sociopathy? Do you think there are levels at all or is it all or nothing? (I ask because, well, it's a debate in psychology - some believe that it's possible for someone to, say, not have compassion for others but be able to consider the consequences of their actions or maybe have some compassion, but only after following their impulses.) Any thoughts?
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That is what I did.
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I have all sorts of paraphilias too...I doubt there's a profession or hobby that will ever fully satisfy me the way ...that one thing..would.
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Be careful with 'channelling', the catharsis method is a load of crap, it tends to stimulate whatever thoughts you're trying to get rid of, increase arousal [not necessarily sexual, but physical] and can actually make you much more likely to do whatever it is you're trying to avoid.
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Some of them even go on to head companies like Enron.
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GOLD!
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