for the first time in my life, i'd rather hurt someone else than hurt myself.
and i'm pretty sure i did a damn good job of that.
you deserved all of what you got, and i'm not sorry.

"don't ever apologize, don't ever explain."

it is finally summer! i've been off for a few months, but i've spent so much of it working full time. 
my weekends are amazing, i'm never home, and there is this boy...
some things change, some things don't, and although my journalistic future currently hangs in the balance, i can't help but be pleased with things right now.
detailed/introspective  ( Read more... )

Beat poets,

you have changed every fibre of my being.

i live for Monday evenings, 3 hours with the most amazing literature of our century. 3 hours looking at Ginsberg= the most amazing hours of recent memory.

however, it raises ideas in my mind that keep me awake till 6am every night. i want so desperately to change my life, to live the kind of ( Read more... )

 And now it's October. I'm at school and I don't know how I'm ever going to go home. It'll feel SO stifling. I love being relatively independent and figuring out how to take care of myself. It's just Henry the newt and I here in our little 8th floor home. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Once again, the landscape shifts
No longer is up down, but ( Read more... )

It is now August. I haven't written since May. Not that there has been anything to say, just more of the same melo-drama. Suicide, depression, weeklong hospital stays. Pills. Booze. That's all there is to this life. The only way to get through it is to be so out of it you don't even give a shit. Right now, I give a shit ( Read more... )

"This isn't a good time to break down, go all quest-for-freedom on my own ass."

see cut for semi-autobiographical short story. i haven't slept at all yet :)

This isn’t a good time to break down, go all quest-for-freedom on my own ass. This is just not the time. And yet it is happening anyway. One’s fragile mental state can shatter at any moment, ( Read more... )

Sing me to sleep ( Read more... )

well i guess this is it. i just can't do it anymore. i think if i just keep deleting entries i can eventually delete myself. i'll just fade away and no one will notice i'm gone.

i just don't know how to cope with this. i can't cope with this. its bigger than me now.

i was out with salisha and sara today, and it was a fab night. but we talked alot, and i realized a lot of things ( Read more... )

So I'm sitting alone in my house at Easter. I may have said some words to my mother that started with the letter F and then walked out on them in the Tim Horton's drivethru.

But thats just the kind of mood I'm these days. I don't want to be around people, I cannot be around people. Especially around holidays. In all honesty, I don't give a flying ( Read more... )