been a while since i've written in here. i've had to keep a journal for therapy so i've kinda replaced this. so yeah, i just randomly felt like writin in here again. i can't remember the last thing i said so i'll say what's on my mind. ruby and i are definitely over, there's no hope anymore. she think we're too different and a whole lot of other ( Read more... )

So I'm on the fifth book of Harry Potter and it's only been takin me so long to finish it because i was on a campaign last week which went quite well by the way. So the books aren't that bad. But I only find their redemption in book four and presently in book five. It wasn't so much because I have already seen the movies of one through three but ( Read more... )

so i had an excellent alarm this mornin. i'm not talkin about a normal alarm. this was an alarm that mariann brought about. she knocked on my door and i could hear absolutely nothin so she opened it and tried to wake me up from the door. i don't know how i heard her but i just said what and she said that josh was on the phone. i was emmediately ( Read more... )

so yeah. got a call from a great friend today. she wanted to talk about what's goin on but i couldn't because of my entire family bein all over the place so i wouldn't have had any privacy at all, as well as none of them know so i don't want them to over hear or anythin. it was incredibly thoughtful though and that's what counts. thanks. so she ( Read more... )

well seems to be as if my relationship with ruby is done for. sorry if too harsh but it's gone to hell. i don't know why. the last talk we had about us (not when we were together but talkin about gettin back together and stuff) was great. it actually left me with some hope. she told me why it's so hard and why she doubts and crap like that and i ( Read more... )

well it's been really weird and rough lately. it's become obvious to me that i need help and i really prove it to myself in my head because i can't think strait. i go to bed eacho night and if you ask me the next what i did the day before i can only answer so much. i can't remember concversations when befoer i would remember even the smallest ( Read more... )

holy crap.....the yeah yeah yeahs were INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! i've seen other good shows but this definitely ranks as one of the top three. i was so amazed at how energetic she was and everythin. i'm happy as well because i got to touch her hand (i know it sounds all corny and crap but i like sayin it like those teeny boppers so it's a "be here" to ( Read more... )

so nothin has truly gottne any better. i've figured out a few things about everytihn though. i've seen how it's only when i'm alone that i get truly depressed and alone and scared and everythin. this weekend was independace day here in mexico. so i went out with the gang to the cereony thing and i felt fine, not exactly normal or anythin cuz i ( Read more... )

i dont know what to do. i feel so lost. i thought i would be ok but it seems to be ive only gotten worse. i dont give a crap about anythin. i cant im sorry, i cant say i hate you, icant cry, i cant be angry. i cant do anythin. i feel so useless and as if everybody is leavin me one at a time. i dont have anyone stickin up for me. i do belive in god ( Read more... )

Well I am at a friends house and I just wrote this song. It is not good at all but I need to put it on here so I can rememberit later and work on it since I have no paper. So here it is and I do not exactly expect you guys to comment on it since it is in Spanish, though I would be impresed if you do. So yeah ( Read more... )