Secrets and Tears Chapter 4
Title: Secrets and Tears
Pairing: Jackson and Ashley
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING; especially another living, breathing, non-fictional person.
Summary: Set in the future. Ashley reminisces about their relationship and her feelings on keeping the secret to themselves for so long.
Chapter: 4
Chapter: 3
Chapter: 2
Chapter: 1
Just knowing that Jackson, our parents and the boys are safe and on their way home filled me with relief. I hadn’t really known how stressed I was until I finally talked to Jackson. I really needed to be careful about that. As I sat on the swing watching BJ alternate between sliding down and climbing up the small plastic slide beside me, I caught myself remembering back to when BJ was born.
The studio reps at Summit hadn’t been the least bit thrilled to discover that two of the actors on their latest risk of a movie named Twilight were developing feeling for each other; but when they signed on eccentric Catherine as director they really shouldn’t have been surprised.
Catherine felt as if the fan base that was already attached to the project would demand that the actors portraying their favorite characters be as similar to the characters in the book as possible. Everyone who had read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers had immediately fallen in love with her characters. Every girl wanted to be Bella and find her Edward, including me. The two actors that were hired to portray the lead characters had to have the same undeniable chemistry that the book Bella and Edward had for each other. This makes for great on screen sparks and romance but can get a little iffy when it leaks off screen.
There is nothing that can put the brakes on the potential commercial success of a movie faster than having the two romantic leads that are in a romantic relationship off screen; break up right in the middle of production. When you are developing that one movie as a launching pad for possible sequels; it becomes even more treacherous. Viewing the situation from their perspective, I can see why they made the choices to play with our lives like they did. I just couldn’t make myself like it.
It first started with Rob and Kristen; the movie Edward and Bella. They had the chemistry in abundance and it made for a great romance on screen. Off screen…well; we just thought they were hilarious. They tried so hard to not like each other. I can’t really say that I blamed them though; after all they were warned not to fall. At first everything was okay since Kristen was “totally committed” to her boyfriend Michael. This coming from a 17 year old who had never had another available guy vying for her attention much less one with whom she was to become romantically involved with on screen. Needless to say, it didn’t take long before Michael had been regulated back to “just friends” status and Rob had taken over. No matter how hard they tried to hide it, everyone on set knew.
Jackson and I were the surprise couple. We fell through the radar of everyone on set; including my best friend Kellan. At first we just spent time getting to know each other for the sake of our characters. The more time we spent together, the more we found in common. Not everything mind you, but on the important things like family, faith and friends we were evenly matched and still are. We have very similar tastes in music and art as well as other things. It was nothing for us to spend hours talking with each other no matter what time of day it was or how early of a call we had the next day. In the beginning, Kellan spent a lot of time with us too. I took to calling us the three stooges for a while because we were always goofing off together. As time went on, I started noticing the subtle differences in the way Jackson acted around me. The playful piggyback rides, the head locks, and even the looks we would give each other were changing and I was helpless to stop it from happening. Not that I really wanted to.
Eventually, Kellan stopped hanging out with us as much and started hanging out with Edi. I figured that it was because he and Edi were embattled in a constant competition of who could out prank the other. Looking back I think I always knew it was more because we made him feel like the third wheel.
I laughed to myself as I remember Catherine’s reaction to Kellan spilling the beans about us. Most of the other cast had figured out something was going on by this time but I don’t think anyone had a clue as to how serious we were getting. Catherine was hit from left field when Kellan jokingly burst out with “Hey Cath, did you get an invite to Jackson and Ashley’s wedding? ‘Cause I sure didn’t.” Kellan was just miffed about not knowing beforehand that Jackson was going to get a wedding ring set for Jasper’s Alice and he was jealous that he didn’t think of the idea first. It really wasn’t a big deal and he was just mouthing off but Catherine took one look at us and started stuttering and pacing. Jackson and I looked at each other with trepidation and immediately increased the distance between us. Of course, this was all the encouragement needed for the girls to flock around me to look at the ring and ask 101 questions about the “real” reason Jackson gave it to me. Apparently the truth wasn’t good enough. I finally took off the ring to show them that it really was just for the movie. Jackson had gotten “J&A∞Love 2008” inscribed on the inside of the band. They looked at me like I was blind while Catherine stealing glances at us and pacing back and forth on the set as if we were some unplanned set disaster that just needed her artistic meddling to fix. The looks from her alone should have been all the warning I needed of what was to come.
“I tursty momma.” BJ’s sweet voice prompted me away from the memories and back into the present. I looked him over for excessive dirt and we headed back inside for juice boxes.
After getting him settled in his booster seat with his dinosaur big block puzzle and his favorite juice, I allowed my thoughts to return back to the day I was forced to live a lie.
We were a little over halfway through filming Twilight when Jackson and I were called into a meeting with Catherine and some of the reps from Summit. When we arrived, we were shocked to see Rob and Kris also waiting outside the conference room. They looked almost as nervous as I felt. I tried not to think of why we had all been called into this conference so instead I found myself observing the synchronized hair flipping, lip biting and anxious glances that surrounded the nervous couple in front of me. I wondered silently if Jackson and I had any nervous ticks or habits in common. I couldn’t think of any but then Rob and Kris didn’t notice theirs either until someone pointed it out to them. Jackson placed his arm around my waist and drew me back into his chest. He had always made me feel secure and safe in his arms and this time was no different. I placed my hands over his and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. He leaned down and kissed my neck and told me that no matter what happened, he wasn’t letting go. He never has.
I glanced at the clock noticing that another hour had passed. I picked up my cell and called Jackson.
“Hey darlin’” his southern twang was always the balm I needed to sooth my nerves.
“Hey. I hate to keep asking but I need to start making dinner plans. How close are you?” I knew I wasn’t nearly as stressed as before but I couldn’t help the longing coming through in my tone.
His voice softened and caressed my mind. “I miss you too. We’ve just crossed the County line so we should be there in less than 30 minutes. How’s my boy?”
“Having juice time with the dino puzzle you got him.” I laughed at the face BJ was making trying to concentrate on the puzzle before him. “I think nap time is coming shortly though. I’ll see if I can keep him up until everyone arrives.”
“No doll, go ahead and put him down. It’ll be that much harder to get him to take a nap after everyone is there. He’ll be too excited.” He reasoned. “I’ll make sure everyone knows not to make a lot of noise when we get there, okay.”
“Alright.” I consented, “Be safe and I love you.”
“Love you more.”
I ended the call and looked over at our son. He truly was a beautiful child, even if I was a little prejudiced. “O’Kay BJ. Time for your nap.” I hated to end his battle for dominance over the puzzle, but his eyes were telling me he needed a break.
“But Momma, Daddy not home yet and Gramma and PopPop and GeGe and GePa and ta monkey crew… Momma tey not here yet. I no go ta sweep until tey get home.” And the Stubborn Child has made his first appearance of the day. Little arms crossed and lip poked out, he had staked his claim and was determined to win this battle.
Jackson and I had been trying to end these battles over nap time for the past few weeks. It sometimes required both of us to join forces before little Stonewall here would consent that Mom and Dad knew best. This time I was facing the battle with a man down. I could only hope I was up for the task. Game face on and let the battle begin. He was adorable though.
“Benjamin Joseph Rathbone you will get out of that seat, place you juice box in the trash and march directly into your room. Everyone will be here when you get up from your nap and they will be a lot happier if you aren’t so cranky.” I picked him up out of his seat, handed him his empty juice box, turned him in the direction of the trash can and watched how his body followed my orders even as his face showed the shock from my unexpected rebuttal of his orders. Battle won; we headed to his room for nap time.
A/N - For those of you who are unfamiliar, ∞ is the symbol for infinity. The ring inscription should be read as “J & A infinite love 2009”
Pairing: Jackson and Ashley
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING; especially another living, breathing, non-fictional person.
Summary: Set in the future. Ashley reminisces about their relationship and her feelings on keeping the secret to themselves for so long.
Chapter: 4
Chapter: 3
Chapter: 2
Chapter: 1
Just knowing that Jackson, our parents and the boys are safe and on their way home filled me with relief. I hadn’t really known how stressed I was until I finally talked to Jackson. I really needed to be careful about that. As I sat on the swing watching BJ alternate between sliding down and climbing up the small plastic slide beside me, I caught myself remembering back to when BJ was born.
The studio reps at Summit hadn’t been the least bit thrilled to discover that two of the actors on their latest risk of a movie named Twilight were developing feeling for each other; but when they signed on eccentric Catherine as director they really shouldn’t have been surprised.
Catherine felt as if the fan base that was already attached to the project would demand that the actors portraying their favorite characters be as similar to the characters in the book as possible. Everyone who had read the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers had immediately fallen in love with her characters. Every girl wanted to be Bella and find her Edward, including me. The two actors that were hired to portray the lead characters had to have the same undeniable chemistry that the book Bella and Edward had for each other. This makes for great on screen sparks and romance but can get a little iffy when it leaks off screen.
There is nothing that can put the brakes on the potential commercial success of a movie faster than having the two romantic leads that are in a romantic relationship off screen; break up right in the middle of production. When you are developing that one movie as a launching pad for possible sequels; it becomes even more treacherous. Viewing the situation from their perspective, I can see why they made the choices to play with our lives like they did. I just couldn’t make myself like it.
It first started with Rob and Kristen; the movie Edward and Bella. They had the chemistry in abundance and it made for a great romance on screen. Off screen…well; we just thought they were hilarious. They tried so hard to not like each other. I can’t really say that I blamed them though; after all they were warned not to fall. At first everything was okay since Kristen was “totally committed” to her boyfriend Michael. This coming from a 17 year old who had never had another available guy vying for her attention much less one with whom she was to become romantically involved with on screen. Needless to say, it didn’t take long before Michael had been regulated back to “just friends” status and Rob had taken over. No matter how hard they tried to hide it, everyone on set knew.
Jackson and I were the surprise couple. We fell through the radar of everyone on set; including my best friend Kellan. At first we just spent time getting to know each other for the sake of our characters. The more time we spent together, the more we found in common. Not everything mind you, but on the important things like family, faith and friends we were evenly matched and still are. We have very similar tastes in music and art as well as other things. It was nothing for us to spend hours talking with each other no matter what time of day it was or how early of a call we had the next day. In the beginning, Kellan spent a lot of time with us too. I took to calling us the three stooges for a while because we were always goofing off together. As time went on, I started noticing the subtle differences in the way Jackson acted around me. The playful piggyback rides, the head locks, and even the looks we would give each other were changing and I was helpless to stop it from happening. Not that I really wanted to.
Eventually, Kellan stopped hanging out with us as much and started hanging out with Edi. I figured that it was because he and Edi were embattled in a constant competition of who could out prank the other. Looking back I think I always knew it was more because we made him feel like the third wheel.
I laughed to myself as I remember Catherine’s reaction to Kellan spilling the beans about us. Most of the other cast had figured out something was going on by this time but I don’t think anyone had a clue as to how serious we were getting. Catherine was hit from left field when Kellan jokingly burst out with “Hey Cath, did you get an invite to Jackson and Ashley’s wedding? ‘Cause I sure didn’t.” Kellan was just miffed about not knowing beforehand that Jackson was going to get a wedding ring set for Jasper’s Alice and he was jealous that he didn’t think of the idea first. It really wasn’t a big deal and he was just mouthing off but Catherine took one look at us and started stuttering and pacing. Jackson and I looked at each other with trepidation and immediately increased the distance between us. Of course, this was all the encouragement needed for the girls to flock around me to look at the ring and ask 101 questions about the “real” reason Jackson gave it to me. Apparently the truth wasn’t good enough. I finally took off the ring to show them that it really was just for the movie. Jackson had gotten “J&A∞Love 2008” inscribed on the inside of the band. They looked at me like I was blind while Catherine stealing glances at us and pacing back and forth on the set as if we were some unplanned set disaster that just needed her artistic meddling to fix. The looks from her alone should have been all the warning I needed of what was to come.
“I tursty momma.” BJ’s sweet voice prompted me away from the memories and back into the present. I looked him over for excessive dirt and we headed back inside for juice boxes.
After getting him settled in his booster seat with his dinosaur big block puzzle and his favorite juice, I allowed my thoughts to return back to the day I was forced to live a lie.
We were a little over halfway through filming Twilight when Jackson and I were called into a meeting with Catherine and some of the reps from Summit. When we arrived, we were shocked to see Rob and Kris also waiting outside the conference room. They looked almost as nervous as I felt. I tried not to think of why we had all been called into this conference so instead I found myself observing the synchronized hair flipping, lip biting and anxious glances that surrounded the nervous couple in front of me. I wondered silently if Jackson and I had any nervous ticks or habits in common. I couldn’t think of any but then Rob and Kris didn’t notice theirs either until someone pointed it out to them. Jackson placed his arm around my waist and drew me back into his chest. He had always made me feel secure and safe in his arms and this time was no different. I placed my hands over his and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. He leaned down and kissed my neck and told me that no matter what happened, he wasn’t letting go. He never has.
I glanced at the clock noticing that another hour had passed. I picked up my cell and called Jackson.
“Hey darlin’” his southern twang was always the balm I needed to sooth my nerves.
“Hey. I hate to keep asking but I need to start making dinner plans. How close are you?” I knew I wasn’t nearly as stressed as before but I couldn’t help the longing coming through in my tone.
His voice softened and caressed my mind. “I miss you too. We’ve just crossed the County line so we should be there in less than 30 minutes. How’s my boy?”
“Having juice time with the dino puzzle you got him.” I laughed at the face BJ was making trying to concentrate on the puzzle before him. “I think nap time is coming shortly though. I’ll see if I can keep him up until everyone arrives.”
“No doll, go ahead and put him down. It’ll be that much harder to get him to take a nap after everyone is there. He’ll be too excited.” He reasoned. “I’ll make sure everyone knows not to make a lot of noise when we get there, okay.”
“Alright.” I consented, “Be safe and I love you.”
“Love you more.”
I ended the call and looked over at our son. He truly was a beautiful child, even if I was a little prejudiced. “O’Kay BJ. Time for your nap.” I hated to end his battle for dominance over the puzzle, but his eyes were telling me he needed a break.
“But Momma, Daddy not home yet and Gramma and PopPop and GeGe and GePa and ta monkey crew… Momma tey not here yet. I no go ta sweep until tey get home.” And the Stubborn Child has made his first appearance of the day. Little arms crossed and lip poked out, he had staked his claim and was determined to win this battle.
Jackson and I had been trying to end these battles over nap time for the past few weeks. It sometimes required both of us to join forces before little Stonewall here would consent that Mom and Dad knew best. This time I was facing the battle with a man down. I could only hope I was up for the task. Game face on and let the battle begin. He was adorable though.
“Benjamin Joseph Rathbone you will get out of that seat, place you juice box in the trash and march directly into your room. Everyone will be here when you get up from your nap and they will be a lot happier if you aren’t so cranky.” I picked him up out of his seat, handed him his empty juice box, turned him in the direction of the trash can and watched how his body followed my orders even as his face showed the shock from my unexpected rebuttal of his orders. Battle won; we headed to his room for nap time.
A/N - For those of you who are unfamiliar, ∞ is the symbol for infinity. The ring inscription should be read as “J & A infinite love 2009”